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Topic : 05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Number of Replies: 82
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Created on : Friday, May 08, 2009, 02:40:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his work with four families who are tired of the fighting and chaos in their home and are striving to create peace. One of the parents in the house, Tammie, recorded home video of an argument with her daughter, Davia. After watching it, Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells Tammie how he believes she is scarring her daughter. What is at the root of Tammie's resentment and contempt? And, Dr. Phil warns one parent about what he’s doing that could drive his daughters to turn to other male figures for love and attention. If you’re the father of a preteen daughter, don’t miss Dr. Phil's words of warning! Then, a role-playing exercise offers a different perspective for the parents and the kids. Will seeing themselves portrayed by their family members open their eyes, or just add more fuel to the fire? Plus, see a trust exercise that gives insight into communication problems and parenting pitfalls. If you want to learn how to create a peaceful home and a phenomenal family, follow these parents! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 12, 2009, 4:41 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: shelly_80

What shouldn't be happening on television with millions watching?  The fact that's happening at all, or the fact that it's publicized?  I don't mean to sound rude, I'm just trying to find out which side of the fence you're on.
don't you think that it's unethical? i think so because any judge or HUMAN being would have Davia taken away immediately ! its unethical because someday DAVIA will see this show and it will scar her forever... Everyone that she knowns now knows that her mom doesn' t love her and wishes she were dead. The emotional scarring that will occur when davia sees this episode will damage her forever.
 
May 12, 2009, 4:44 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: shelly_80

Was anyone else wiping the tears when Tammie called Davia into the timeout room to apologize?  I cried a bucket of tears for Davia.  I'm glad that Tammie was finally able to admit she's the problem and not Davia.  I'm also happy that Tammie was able to say the words, "I need to fix myself," but I hope by saying that, it doesn't let her off the hook. It thrilled me to see Dr.  phil get as real and stern with her as he did.  He's been accused of being too soft on past guests but I don't think he was with her. The reason she can't look her daughter in the eye is because her conscience is eating her alive since coming to Dr. Phil for help.  I am ecstatic that he did not mince any words. I stil think there's something she's not telling. Never in the history of his show has he been unable to get to the root of the problem.
i think dr. phil should have been way more stern. I think he should have ripppped her apart. Like he said, he can only imagine what happens when the CAMERA ISN'T rolling. We need to remember that. I guarantee that Tammie is a thousand times worse. Remember that her video was suppose to show Dr. Phil how bad Davia is. So imagine how bad she is when she THINKS she' sbeing bad. She can't make eye contact because she is a heartless coward.
 
May 12, 2009, 4:47 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: renie2009

I had and still have a mother like Tammie, although I am now a mom and a grandmother, I still siffer the affects of an abusive parent. The damage being done due to the resentment of her mother will be with Davia for the rest of her life, like I once told my mom, she did not ask Tammie to lay on her back and get knocked up. Tammie if you did not want her, there was adoption. Tammie, it is not Davia's fault, it is yours.
You are SOOO right. People think that Tammie will change and Davia's life will be full of rainbows and sunshine. WRONGGGG! My parents weren't nearly as abusive (ok my parents were like saints compare to that monster Tammie) and I still ended up in counseling...People don't understand how detrimental telling the world that you wish your daughter wasn't alive is!!! Imagine if your husband told you that he didn't love you and wished he'd never married you...Wouldn't that HURT! Wouldn't that just rip your heart apart??? The next level of that would be your own MOTHER, your own flesh and blood, the one person inthe world who is suppose to love you more than anything in the world, telling you she wishes you dead. I am so sorry that you had a rough childhood. You're right about it being Tammies fault...Its too late now, even if davia got taken away, someday she will see this episode, and she will always know that her mom didn't love her.
 
May 12, 2009, 4:48 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: fsm2009

My wife and I can't have kids of our own...watching parents treat their children like this really makes me sick. We would love to take in a child like Davia and give them a safe structured place to grow up. I don't understand how Davia's mom can be so cold to her own child! I wish I had a child just like Davia.
Dr.PHIL take davia away and giver her to his person! they can't be any worse than TAMMIE
 
May 12, 2009, 4:54 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: belle98

Wow, what a phoney!!  That Mom never shed a tear.  Drama queen, making a whole lot of what she thought was convincing sobbing sounds that actually sounded like poor acting.  I could not even watch anymore, I had to turn it off.  I have a mom history like Davia and it brought out all this anger that was being directed at Davia's faker mom and not where it belonged, which is at my Mom.

 

I am old now to be still working on issues, but Davia's mom, know this:  your little girl will spend her lifetime trying to unravel the negative messages and criticisms you beat into her impressionable head, heart and soul.  SHAME ON YOU!  Stop it now, if you have to literally B ITE your wagging tongue for pete's sake.

I agree! when Tammie was 'crying' like a 2 year old, i wanted to SLAP her! Give me a break! Tammie is NOT the victim! She is a MONSTER. If i was Dr. Phil I would have shaken her and told her to SHUT UP, get ahold of yourself  and that she is a piece of crap.

 

I commend Dr. Phil for keeping his composure. You know it had to be hard to not rip her a new one and go completely berserk on her.

 
May 12, 2009, 5:00 pm CDT

Poor Little Girl

I feel so bad for that little girl Davia my sister acts the same way to her daughter and its so sad and breaks their spirit and it is not acceptable at all....which is why I don't speak to my own sister. I really hope Dr. Phil can break thru to that woman!!!
 
May 12, 2009, 5:56 pm CDT

Absolutely Disgusting!!!!

Davia's mom is horrible! I am so sick to my stomach after watching the show. Feeling that way about your child is bad enough, but expressing it verbally to them is unexceptable!!! She does not deserve to have been blessed with such an amazing, smart, beautiful, sparkling little girl. I am deeply hoping and praying that Dr. Phil is able to change their lives around, Davia deserves so much better!

 
May 12, 2009, 6:51 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: esparanza14

Davia's mom is pure evil and has so much hate in herself for herself she can't contain it so she floods her daughter with all of this hate. I am sad and concerned that Davia  is even in this situation...Her mother is Abusing her on TV.  she is a basket case and should be in full-time counseling it is all about her and not Davia...she seems like such a sweet smart strong girl who is being squelched and bombarded with negative abusive statements.  That mom is is killing her spirit and doing it intentionally.  She is so gross I cant stand to watch How can she think mocking her child's hopeful words iokay? it is so hurtful.  WHen the mom crys I want to slap her because it is so simple...she has the problem and she needs the counseling to find out why she hates her daughter and wants to kill her spirit....until then she should fake til she can get through her own illness so she doesnt cause any more irreprable damage. Davia should not be subject to this she is not emotionally safe.
I agree with you 100 percent on that. I feel bad for this poor child. My daughter is 12 and i have never treated her in this manner ever. I love my daughter with my whole heart. My mom didn't treat us kids like that either. I think she was scaried of her husband is why he was allowed to abuse us kids I think maybe he abused her too.
 
May 12, 2009, 7:19 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: breakaway

don't you think that it's unethical? i think so because any judge or HUMAN being would have Davia taken away immediately ! its unethical because someday DAVIA will see this show and it will scar her forever... Everyone that she knowns now knows that her mom doesn' t love her and wishes she were dead. The emotional scarring that will occur when davia sees this episode will damage her forever.

So, you think being on the show itself will damage Davia? It very well might, anything is possible.  I don't think things are going to be "easy" for her in the next while, but  I think being on the show is probably what saved her life because no one can help until they are made aware of the situation.

 

I think Davia's friends and peers finding out how her mother really feels about her was a small price to pay to stop her abuse.  Dr. Phil said himself, he WILL NOT allow it to continue. Not to mention, in his line of work, he's required to report any and all cases of abuse to the authorites.  I do agree, any judge in their right mind wouldn't think twice about removing her from Tammie's custody, atleast while Tammie is getting the help she needs. Unfortunately, there's a lot of things that need to be taken into consideration before a judge can make his or her final decision.  I don't like it either but that's the way the "justice system" works. 

 
May 12, 2009, 7:38 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: breakaway

I agree! when Tammie was 'crying' like a 2 year old, i wanted to SLAP her! Give me a break! Tammie is NOT the victim! She is a MONSTER. If i was Dr. Phil I would have shaken her and told her to SHUT UP, get ahold of yourself  and that she is a piece of crap.

 

I commend Dr. Phil for keeping his composure. You know it had to be hard to not rip her a new one and go completely berserk on her.

I happen to totally agree with you 100% here.  When Tammie slung her head back crying like a 5 year old who didn't get her way.  I wanted so badly to jerk her up and say "CONTROL YOURSELF!"   Not only is she a basket case, but a DRAMA QUEEN, as well.  I emphasize drama queen for obvious reasons.
 
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