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Topic : 05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Number of Replies: 82
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Created on : Friday, May 08, 2009, 02:40:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his work with four families who are tired of the fighting and chaos in their home and are striving to create peace. One of the parents in the house, Tammie, recorded home video of an argument with her daughter, Davia. After watching it, Dr. Phil doesn’t mince words when he tells Tammie how he believes she is scarring her daughter. What is at the root of Tammie's resentment and contempt? And, Dr. Phil warns one parent about what he’s doing that could drive his daughters to turn to other male figures for love and attention. If you’re the father of a preteen daughter, don’t miss Dr. Phil's words of warning! Then, a role-playing exercise offers a different perspective for the parents and the kids. Will seeing themselves portrayed by their family members open their eyes, or just add more fuel to the fire? Plus, see a trust exercise that gives insight into communication problems and parenting pitfalls. If you want to learn how to create a peaceful home and a phenomenal family, follow these parents! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 9, 2009, 1:29 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

A Be Better Doctor House How Parent Part Phil/Robin Three To. Dr. Phil/Robin you are a parent of Erica,--

Jay, Jordan. Have fun this weekend. See you on May 12th, 2009 Tuesday. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaan---

deren.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

 
May 9, 2009, 6:35 pm CDT

Please get Davia away from that %!$#& ASAP!!!

Watching that miserable woman terrorize Davia was like watching my own so called "mother". That witch is just like mine. Davia needs to be taken away from her NOW! I happened to have been a strong person who learned to ignore being told that nothing I do or don't do is ever right, that I have no right to have opinions or feelings, and having every thing I say ignored or criticized as if I have no right to speak. It’s still the same after 44 years. Davia may not be that strong. Even if she is, why should she have to be terrorized by this evil witch? All I saw in that footage of her trying to ignore the tiraid that was staged to incriminate the child, was a kid trying to hide from the hatred always being thrown at her. She tried to ignore and avoid the fight, but she was being goaded and blamed, and had no way out. Nothing she ever does will ever please that witch, or make her love her, and Davia will always try, only to be hated and criticized at every turn. The poor kid had hope. One day she won’t, and she’ll be blamed for that too. I hope her life doesn't turn out like mine. I always knew I was hated. I ignored it. They only loved my little brother, and that's fine, but when it came to doing their abusive garbage to him, I stood up for him, and they stopped, and they hated me even more. I was maybe five at that time! I see no hope for Davia, because that mother is the one with the problem, she always hated her, and it will never change. You can see it, even if you aren’t me. Whatever the child is doing is because of the mother, and maybe a survival instinct. It is not obvious by the lunatic's behavior or by her vicious words that she EVER loved Davia. Sorry, I just don't see it. The mother will never change. Save the girl Dr. Phil, please!!! She has nobody else. I signed up just to say this.

 
May 10, 2009, 1:56 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: louiseitis

Watching that miserable woman terrorize Davia was like watching my own so called "mother". That witch is just like mine. Davia needs to be taken away from her NOW! I happened to have been a strong person who learned to ignore being told that nothing I do or don't do is ever right, that I have no right to have opinions or feelings, and having every thing I say ignored or criticized as if I have no right to speak. Its still the same after 44 years. Davia may not be that strong. Even if she is, why should she have to be terrorized by this evil witch? All I saw in that footage of her trying to ignore the tiraid that was staged to incriminate the child, was a kid trying to hide from the hatred always being thrown at her. She tried to ignore and avoid the fight, but she was being goaded and blamed, and had no way out. Nothing she ever does will ever please that witch, or make her love her, and Davia will always try, only to be hated and criticized at every turn. The poor kid had hope. One day she wont, and shell be blamed for that too. I hope her life doesn't turn out like mine. I always knew I was hated. I ignored it. They only loved my little brother, and that's fine, but when it came to doing their abusive garbage to him, I stood up for him, and they stopped, and they hated me even more. I was maybe five at that time! I see no hope for Davia, because that mother is the one with the problem, she always hated her, and it will never change. You can see it, even if you arent me. Whatever the child is doing is because of the mother, and maybe a survival instinct. It is not obvious by the lunatic's behavior or by her vicious words that she EVER loved Davia. Sorry, I just don't see it. The mother will never change. Save the girl Dr. Phil, please!!! She has nobody else. I signed up just to say this.

You know what really burns me up? Other than watching tammie`s sheer lunacy on national tv? The handful who have the nerve to defend her on this board. One even called her a wonderful mother. For going on the show to fix their relationship. She wants davia fixed. Too insane to see that she needs fixing.
 
May 10, 2009, 10:31 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: cadescove99

You know what really burns me up? Other than watching tammies sheer lunacy on national tv? The handful who have the nerve to defend her on this board. One even called her a wonderful mother. For going on the show to fix their relationship. She wants davia fixed. Too insane to see that she needs fixing.

Once again, I'm right along with you.  I'm trying to have hope that Tammie will change for Davia's sake, but by the end of the second show she was still blaming Davia.  Until she can recognize that she needs to focus on herself and change her ways, then and only then will things turn around.  Like I said, I'm really trying to have hope and faith, but it's hard to have that for someone who won't put forth any initiative and places the blame on the victim. She did contact Dr. Phil and that was a big step, but she has to realize too that Dr. phil can only make her awaare of her problems, he can't be the one to solve them. Unfortunately, the progress of their mother/daughter relationship depends on Tammie, I'm afraid. She's the one, like you said, that needs fixing.

 

By the way, did you notice there are no more pop ups?  WOO-HOO! :)

 
May 11, 2009, 7:19 am CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: shelly_80

Once again, I'm right along with you.  I'm trying to have hope that Tammie will change for Davia's sake, but by the end of the second show she was still blaming Davia.  Until she can recognize that she needs to focus on herself and change her ways, then and only then will things turn around.  Like I said, I'm really trying to have hope and faith, but it's hard to have that for someone who won't put forth any initiative and places the blame on the victim. She did contact Dr. Phil and that was a big step, but she has to realize too that Dr. phil can only make her awaare of her problems, he can't be the one to solve them. Unfortunately, the progress of their mother/daughter relationship depends on Tammie, I'm afraid. She's the one, like you said, that needs fixing.

 

By the way, did you notice there are no more pop ups?  WOO-HOO! :)

I saw tomorrow`s previews. Tammie feels that davia was a mistake. Further sets my opinion of her as a sheer moron. Had unprotected sex. That`s where babies come from! Duh!
 
May 11, 2009, 5:49 pm CDT

Tammie's video

That was the most disgusting video I have seen. How can you antagonize a child and call her vile names in order to make yourself look better. My heart was just breaking as I was watching Tammy "showing her true self" as she was attacking her child. I could never ever imagine calling my child a bitch or getting in her face until I break her down. That was truly shocking. I can't imagine telling my child that I have no feelings for her. She is abusing that poor girl. Someone needs to remove that child from that woman. She is hell bent on breaking that child down and all I can see is Davia is asking for love. How can you deny your child a hug or be irritated by it? I can't even fathom it. I don't care if a child annoys you. I have a 12 year old daughter, and believe me I know that they can be annoying. But you don't attack them emotionally and hold them hostage until they finally argue with you. She wouldn't even let Davia do her homework until she got her to argue with her. She is an abuser and I don't see how she will ever change. She's the adult and she's the one that needs to change. She is the one that sets the example. If her child fails in personal relationships, it is because her mother abused her and never showed her love. Not that her mother cares. If she would mature, she would realize that Davia's attitude might change if her mother quits this abuse and constant need to degrade her daughter. She is one of the most disgusting parents I have ever seen. I just want Davia to feel loved by her mom. If her mom doesn't stop, Davia won't have anything to do with her when she leaves her home (believe me, she will do it as quickly as possible anyway she can which scares me). She is killing that child emotionally. I just hope and pray that Davia will realize that this is her mother's issue and that she is a very loveable child and she means something to this world. She is important.
Tammy....you're nuts and a horrible mother. I hope that you never have another opportunity to have any more children to abuse and that Davia gets away from you as soon as she can. I realized that you have a couple more kids, but you seem to favor those children. I can only hope you don't turn on those children as well. You have an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life and you are trashing that gift. Grow up and be someone your kids can respect. I hope someone takes your kids from you. Somebody that will love them. You don't seem to have that ability.
 
May 11, 2009, 8:36 pm CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: cadescove99

I saw tomorrows previews. Tammie feels that davia was a mistake. Further sets my opinion of her as a sheer moron. Had unprotected sex. Thats where babies come from! Duh!
Uh huh!  My feelings exactly.  It makes you want to ask Tammie.  Uh, did you not know it could happen if you didn't use protection.  I caught a glimpse of part 3, as well and it  really boils my blood when people say their child was a mistake. I'd like to tell Tammie and everyone else who thinks that, God doesn't make mistakes!!!  He has a purpose for Davia and intended for her to exist in this world. The child was the consequence, the act of having unprotected sex when/if they were not planning to have a child was the mistake. She needs to own up to some responsibility. 
 
May 11, 2009, 9:05 pm CDT

Lingering question

Quote From: graysk

That was the most disgusting video I have seen. How can you antagonize a child and call her vile names in order to make yourself look better. My heart was just breaking as I was watching Tammy "showing her true self" as she was attacking her child. I could never ever imagine calling my child a bitch or getting in her face until I break her down. That was truly shocking. I can't imagine telling my child that I have no feelings for her. She is abusing that poor girl. Someone needs to remove that child from that woman. She is hell bent on breaking that child down and all I can see is Davia is asking for love. How can you deny your child a hug or be irritated by it? I can't even fathom it. I don't care if a child annoys you. I have a 12 year old daughter, and believe me I know that they can be annoying. But you don't attack them emotionally and hold them hostage until they finally argue with you. She wouldn't even let Davia do her homework until she got her to argue with her. She is an abuser and I don't see how she will ever change. She's the adult and she's the one that needs to change. She is the one that sets the example. If her child fails in personal relationships, it is because her mother abused her and never showed her love. Not that her mother cares. If she would mature, she would realize that Davia's attitude might change if her mother quits this abuse and constant need to degrade her daughter. She is one of the most disgusting parents I have ever seen. I just want Davia to feel loved by her mom. If her mom doesn't stop, Davia won't have anything to do with her when she leaves her home (believe me, she will do it as quickly as possible anyway she can which scares me). She is killing that child emotionally. I just hope and pray that Davia will realize that this is her mother's issue and that she is a very loveable child and she means something to this world. She is important.
Tammy....you're nuts and a horrible mother. I hope that you never have another opportunity to have any more children to abuse and that Davia gets away from you as soon as she can. I realized that you have a couple more kids, but you seem to favor those children. I can only hope you don't turn on those children as well. You have an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life and you are trashing that gift. Grow up and be someone your kids can respect. I hope someone takes your kids from you. Somebody that will love them. You don't seem to have that ability.
I couldn't have said it better.  Did you catch in Tammie's video when she told Davia that she was forcing her (Tammie) to show her (Tammie's) true colors?  It's amazing that someone can be that vicious to their own child.  I made the comment to Cadecove99 that Davia was not a mistake like Tammie said and Tammie had to know the consequences of having unprotected sex, but I'm starting to wonder if Tammie might have been raped or something?  Not that it excuses her behavior at all, but it would help us better understand why Tammie feels the way she does by Davia.  I think their something more to this story and I hope it comes out on tomorrows show.  All Tammie can say is that Davia is a mistake, but she never said why she thinks that. 
 
May 12, 2009, 5:58 am CDT

absolutely livid

I love watching Dr. Phil, but after the show with poor Davia, I was so livid, I wanted to confront that pathetic woman myself.  If there is one job that I feel is the most important in this life, it's to raise my children and love them equally.  I would NEVER and I repeat NEVER call my  9 year old daughter a bitch.  Has this woman lost her mind? Maybe not, but maybe child protective services should be called because if she is treating her child like this on national television, I am curious to what the family dynamics are at home.  I am still upset over that show last week.  I believe the woman's tears are fake, I also believe she doesn't deserve to have Davia.  Any woman can give birth, it takes special women to be mothers and this is something that Davia needs in her life, she needs to feel the love, nurture, and the mothering of a real mother.  The video that I saw was the "mother" instigating an arguement with Davia, as mothers we don't do this, nor do we call our children foul names for our own gratification.  I am clearly disgusted this woman feels like this and have been livid since the show aired.  Davia is a little girl growing into puberty girls aren't easy to raise with all their hormonal changes, but we as mothers must have that unconditional love for our children.  On my last note, I do not believe the woman that is financially taking care of Davia deserves to have that child in her life.  Oh I am not a violent person, but I would have loved to smack some sense into her and I would welcome the woman to confront me and call me names and lets see if she feels as big as she does when she's degrading her daughter.  I would take the blunt of it rather than that poor child.  Remember folks, abuse isn't only physical and my heart goes out to Davia, because she will need alot of therapy to overcome her mothers downfalls.  Another thought abuse is a learned behavior, I would hate for this little girl growing up to be just like her mother or becoming something even worse.....

 
May 12, 2009, 8:16 am CDT

05/12 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 3

Quote From: mzsweet72

I love watching Dr. Phil, but after the show with poor Davia, I was so livid, I wanted to confront that pathetic woman myself.  If there is one job that I feel is the most important in this life, it's to raise my children and love them equally.  I would NEVER and I repeat NEVER call my  9 year old daughter a bitch.  Has this woman lost her mind? Maybe not, but maybe child protective services should be called because if she is treating her child like this on national television, I am curious to what the family dynamics are at home.  I am still upset over that show last week.  I believe the woman's tears are fake, I also believe she doesn't deserve to have Davia.  Any woman can give birth, it takes special women to be mothers and this is something that Davia needs in her life, she needs to feel the love, nurture, and the mothering of a real mother.  The video that I saw was the "mother" instigating an arguement with Davia, as mothers we don't do this, nor do we call our children foul names for our own gratification.  I am clearly disgusted this woman feels like this and have been livid since the show aired.  Davia is a little girl growing into puberty girls aren't easy to raise with all their hormonal changes, but we as mothers must have that unconditional love for our children.  On my last note, I do not believe the woman that is financially taking care of Davia deserves to have that child in her life.  Oh I am not a violent person, but I would have loved to smack some sense into her and I would welcome the woman to confront me and call me names and lets see if she feels as big as she does when she's degrading her daughter.  I would take the blunt of it rather than that poor child.  Remember folks, abuse isn't only physical and my heart goes out to Davia, because she will need alot of therapy to overcome her mothers downfalls.  Another thought abuse is a learned behavior, I would hate for this little girl growing up to be just like her mother or becoming something even worse.....

I also noticed the fake tears. Nothing but a lot of loud fake crying and dabbing at dry eyes.
 
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