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Topic : 05/14 Not Daddy's Little Girl

Number of Replies: 45
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Created on : Friday, May 08, 2009, 02:41:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you ever thought about how your relationship with your dad affects your life? A daughter who has a positive relationship with her father often has a better chance of thriving in life. But for girls who realize they're not Daddy's little girl, the damage to their life can be devastating. Lauren says her dad has not been there for her emotionally and financially, and she blames him for everything that has gone wrong in her life. They fight often, and she says she wants to let go of him and move on, but her father, Gary, wants her back in his life. Lauren has a college degree but is working in a scandalous profession. Is her job choice related to her relationship with her father? When father and daughter reveal important information they've each been hiding, how will they react to each other’s revelations? What do Lauren and Gary need to do to move forward with their lives, and will it include having a relationship with each other? Then, Angela and her daughter, Lily, are both experiencing the aftermath of not having a relationship with their fathers. Angela says she's had problems with men her entire life and worries Lily will also. Lily says her father is not there for her, and she has given up hope that they can revive their relationship. Are Angela's actions causing a rift between Lily and her father? Dr. Phil has a stern warning for the teen. Speak out!

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 14, 2009, 1:16 pm CDT

05/14 Not Daddy's Little Girl

Quote From: normazena

YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH WHAT HAS HAPPEN IN THE PAST BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FATHER AND TRY TO FORGIVE HIM.I KNOW IT IS HARD,BUT IT MUST BE DONE.YOU CAN NOT TRY TO BLAME OTHERS FOR WHAT IS GOING WRONG IN YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS AND WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS NO BODY ELSE CAN GIVE IT TO YOU.AS FOR YOUR FATHER ,THE TWO OF YOU HAVE TO SIT DOWN AND TRY AND HAVE A CONVERSATION AND DISCUSS THE MATTER AND SEE IF YOU STILL WANT HIM IN YOUR LIFE AND HE STILL WANT YOU IN HIS LIFE.

 

DON'T WORRY THINGS WILL WORK OUT FOR THE BETTER,THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT.

I did not  grow up with a dad. So the love of a man was something that I learned by my self. I learned to love myself before I could love another. The way I learned that was with the love  & strenght of my mother. She always said to respect yourself and treat others as you want to be treated. You don't need a man in your life to teach you that. I feel that this women with all those degrees and to sell her body is just a poor excuse to not move forward and grow.  It's obvious that her mother babied her wayyyyy toooo much. And she needs to grow up and stop blaming her dad and men and seeing them as credit cards to pay her way like a little girl.
 
May 14, 2009, 1:17 pm CDT

Not Daddy's Little Girl

I use to be a daddy's girl, then I got to know the real man behind the mask.  I can remember how he'd put me down by saying things like "He expected me to screw boys in high school, not my sister" or I remember  when he'd tell me how bad my hair would look on a "bad hair day" but never on the good days when it was styled and all in place.  I always tried to please and live my life so he'd be so proud and I was never happy, I though of killing myself.Something snapped, one day I did what I WANTED, I talked to WHO I WANTED. Now my dad will have NOTHING to do with me.  The one thing I did was date a black man.  Now my dad has tossed me away like a dirty dish rag.  How can a parent tell a child they are proud of them but yet have nothing to do with them.  I am angry watching Dr. Phil right now. My father lives in FL and is coming to IN where I live and he refuses to come to my town and visit me.  Wow now that is some fatherly love, I am so glad he's so proud of me and all that I have done
 
May 14, 2009, 1:24 pm CDT

Longing to reconnect with my daughter

I've been separated from my daughter Brie since I left her mother, and later divorced (she was nine years old at the time - now she's 27) and have had only limited contact with her after extensive searches to find a contact point and thus far we've only spoken via telephone, text-message and the once-in-a-blue-moon e-mail.  Not trying to lay blame on her mother but let's say she's been less than helpful in allowing/permitting/facilitating access since that time.  In fact, although she'd likely deny it her mother stated that she was determined to ensure that Brie would grow to hate me and never see me again. 

I am no saint, and in hind-sight realize I could have left and ended that marriage in a much better manner than I did, but I still believe that it's possible to be divorced but still be an involved and loving parent - but only if BOTH parents work at that.  When I channel surfed by your show today it struck an almost physical blow to me in I saw others going through what I am still enduring.  I would love to reconnect with my daughter and any help I can get to facilitate that I would welcome.
 
May 14, 2009, 1:33 pm CDT

Reminds me of my own father

This man irritated me so bad. He's so loud, so self-absorbed. Everything he says sounds like he's making himself the victim. "I, I, I!" Shut him up and let his daughter talk! He yells at her and makes her cry even harder; she's just trying to tell her side of the story, and he interrupts her. He's trying to drown her out and make himself the victim.

He was the adult before her, the example she had to base adulthood on, and he mislead her. It's no wonder how messed up her life has become.

I can't communicate how frustrated this makes me, because it reminds me of my own father so much. Victimizing himself and drowning her out... Argh!
 
May 14, 2009, 1:41 pm CDT

Wow!

I agree with Dr Phil, this young lady needs to pull herself up by her boot straps. How fortunate she is that her parents put her through college. Shes acting like a whimpering entitled child. And  as far as his wife's insurance money, had he died first the money would have gone to his wife. It is not for the children to decide how it is spent.  He dose have to support himself also. This woman is bullying her Father. Either he gives her money or shes going to kill herself? Are you kidding me? Thats the message shes giving. Grow up!
 
May 14, 2009, 1:53 pm CDT

Read between the lines

I am sorry that this father and daughter have such a strained relationship. I wonder if the mother constantly told her daughter that dad is never there for them etc.  When mom died, the daughter may in some way blame him for him being alive and mom being dead.  She was so close to her mom it sounds.  HOWEVER, I just don't believe her on many things she is saying about him.  You can just tell that she lied about the hospital comment.  You can tell she lied about the college money. If you agree to pay for college, there does have to be a cut off if they want to continue and change majors etc.  AT some point he had a right to pull the plug.  This girl sounds very troubled and she is blaming her dad for all her problems. She is prostituting her self becuase she hates herself.  She apparently doesn't know how to live without her mom telling her what -where- and when.  She is just lost but I really feel Doc Phil was too hard on the dad.  Hopefully after the show he called her out on her stuff and just didn't want to do it on TV because she just seems too fragile.  She does need to grow up for one but she also needs to realize her own value as a woman and STOP abusing herself by giving herself away to these men pigs that use these girls.   
 
May 14, 2009, 1:55 pm CDT

your not alone

there are million of young girls to teen girls to grandmothers that feel the pain of not having that father daughter relationship that we women as children thrived for and didn't receive.i have lived with it for years almost my whole life and i just don't know what to do and when she said she doesn't feel anything i totally understood. the thing my father has done to me in the past has mad me just not care for him and the anger and resentment i have toward him just won't go away. even how hard i try to get along with him, it just turns on me and then everything is my fault and so on but i know what these people are going through because i go through it everyday and wish it didn't and the scary thing is i see the destructive path that is behind it everyday and i want it to stop because i see what has happen to people on this show but i just don't know hope. but just know for everyone that is out there there may be hope for you and just to keep trying and lead yourself through the fog to the sun that shows you the right way.
 
May 14, 2009, 2:13 pm CDT

05/14 Not Daddy's Little Girl

seeing how this dad acted i can see why this girl is messed up. I think her mother interferred too much too as well.
 
May 14, 2009, 2:24 pm CDT

NOT DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL ALSO

My Dad abused me and left me.  It wan't until many years later I started talking to him.  He acted like my childhood went fine but I knew it wasn't.  Dangling over my head was my half brother and half sister who was very young at the time.  I choosed the truth but my Dad didn't admit to it and in the midst of it for the reason of the truth I lost all contact with my brother and sister.  It kills me everyday.  There is a hole in my heart that they can only fill.  I'm glad that Dr. Phil did that topic.  It made some sense of the things I do and the way I am.  Those fathers seems like they care on there.  I'm not so lucky.  My Father and my God-Father don't care about me.  I did find out that God is my Father and I'm happy with that but I cry at TV showes that people lose there fathers because in a way I lost mine.  Thank you Dr.  Phil for doing this.  Not just for the ones on the show but for all of us who watch who are not Daddy's little girl.
 
May 14, 2009, 2:33 pm CDT

Sometimes I feel like I can relate.....

I feel just like her sometimes, but instead of my father it's my mother. I love her, but I don't even want to show it because I get pushed away and I got sick of being hurt a long long time ago. I've decided that it will probably always be this way, because nothing I've tried works. We are two completely different people with nothing in common....it's definitely a family thing too, because my grandmother and mother are not close at all either. Only time will tell....all I can do is hope things improve as I get older..
 
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