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Topic : 05/14 Not Daddy's Little Girl

Number of Replies: 45
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, May 08, 2009, 02:41:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Have you ever thought about how your relationship with your dad affects your life? A daughter who has a positive relationship with her father often has a better chance of thriving in life. But for girls who realize they're not Daddy's little girl, the damage to their life can be devastating. Lauren says her dad has not been there for her emotionally and financially, and she blames him for everything that has gone wrong in her life. They fight often, and she says she wants to let go of him and move on, but her father, Gary, wants her back in his life. Lauren has a college degree but is working in a scandalous profession. Is her job choice related to her relationship with her father? When father and daughter reveal important information they've each been hiding, how will they react to each other’s revelations? What do Lauren and Gary need to do to move forward with their lives, and will it include having a relationship with each other? Then, Angela and her daughter, Lily, are both experiencing the aftermath of not having a relationship with their fathers. Angela says she's had problems with men her entire life and worries Lily will also. Lily says her father is not there for her, and she has given up hope that they can revive their relationship. Are Angela's actions causing a rift between Lily and her father? Dr. Phil has a stern warning for the teen. Speak out!

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 14, 2009, 2:49 pm CDT

GROW UP!!!!!

Wow, there is not enough time in the day for me to express everything I would like to say about this father. But I'll try...

 

1. GROW UP!!!! This father needs to grow up, quit blaming everyone else, and be a man. I am sorry he lost his wife. But guess what.... it isn't his daughter's fault. So quit blaming her!! You say you weren't jealous about your wife's and daughter's relationship --- that's a bunch of BS! You are sad, mad, scared, and hurt that you lost your wife. You said it yourself - "she was everything to me." So now that she is gone, there is no one else -- not even your daughter????? And do you treat anyone else in the world the way you treat your daughter? I would suspect not. That alone is VERY sad! Again - grow up! Look in the mirror and you will see who is causing the majority of the problem between you and your daughter. Is she without fault - I would assume not. But dude, every single thing you said was either blaming her or a guilt trip for her. Geez, I wouldn't want a relationship with you - would you? I think you better thank your lucky stars your daughter is still interested in having anything to do with you.

 

2. Then, to top it all off, the last few minutes of the show you spend playing the victim. Woah is me - I am the parent, therefore it is all my fault. I can't believe she doesn't love me. All she wants from me is money. Blah blah blah. You need to go take care of your own emotional issues - seriously!!! In my opinion, you will never be able to have a father/daughter relationship with your daughter if you don't. You can't be in a father role when you are so busy playing the blame game or playing the victim.

 

Yes, this whole show struck a nerve BIG TIME with me. I have had to deal with a role reversal relationship much of my life with my mother and the victim mentality and the guilt trips. If you want any chance at a relationship with your daughter like you say you do, then go figure out how to be a man first; take care of your emotional baggage; learn how to take responsibility for you contribution, or lack thereof, to the problems in this relationship. Then, MAYBE, you can begin working on the relationship between you and your daughter. Quit running buddy - be a man, face your issues, and start living again.

 

All I kept thinking, the more he said, was how miserable his life must be. And the misery is not caused by his daughter as I am sure he would say it is. It is caused by his unwillingness to acknowledge his own emotions and deal with them.

 

Do you not know that your daughter is hurting just like you because of the death of your wife and her mother. Why are you making her basically go through the loss of her father too?? Also, look at the bigger picture. This is so so so so so NOT about money. UGH! I could go on and on. This has me so upset that I can't even write this post and be grammatically correct! I am talking in first person and third person. I do not know how you hold yourself back from slapping some people, Dr. Phil. This man needs to have some sense slapped into him!!

 

As for the applicable Dr. Phil-isms...

 

1. Is what you are doing working for ya?

2. How fun do you think you are to live/be with?

3. No matter how flat you make the pancake, there is still two sides. Why don't you try real hard to step outside of yourself and put yourself in your daughter's shoes for a brief moment and see things from her side?

4. You don't even almost get it!

5. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge

 

It makes me sad to see the relationship that you and your daughter have (or don't have).

 
May 14, 2009, 2:54 pm CDT

GET OVER IT

I think that these daughters are some freakin cry babies.  There are alot of families that are broken.  There are many cases in which a father never was around from jump.  in my situation my father used to drive past me and come by once in a blue moon.  I didn't care for him then and I don't miss him now.  These little girls need to grow up and become women.  So what if your daddy wasn't there, soooo what!!  With your kids make sure you change the situation.  Get a man who will be there. I am just tired of hearing them whine. Boo Hoo!! Suck it up and move on.  Its your fathers lost not yours.  And for the mother who thinks that the daughter iss going to end up like her or how she feels let her make the decision to want to speak to him or not.
 
May 14, 2009, 3:00 pm CDT

They both need help

This show touched me. In that I have not spoke to my father in about 10 years. And I am not sure if I want to.I am so hurt and angery with him. I have been in therapy for years and it has helped. But still I can not forgive him for all the abuse that happened to me as a child.

But I think she needs thearpy and so dose he. But who am I to say I can't even talk to me dad.

 
May 14, 2009, 3:36 pm CDT

Dr. Phil YOU ARE WRONG

Get OFF the Dads ass seriously.  He is sick and tired of How his daughter is acting, I felt you were very unfair in your comments to the father.  He has reached out, he has called.  His daughter needs to stop the blame game, get some help and quite attacking other's for her failures.  I speak from a place of understanding.  I lost my father when I was 8 years old, I have made very poor relationship choices early on in my life and married the wrong guy have since divorced and after some soul searching and some healing I have now married a healthy life partner.  It was not my dad's fault, yes he has not been here.....blah blah blah.  Move on girlfriend!!!  Give the Dad a BREAK already!!!!
 
May 14, 2009, 4:01 pm CDT

dad bashing

so far it seems as though everyone wants to bash the dad, but why did this college educated woman decide to prostitute herself? Is it to hurt him, as a way of getting even with him because her mom died? Well some of you said it's not her fault that her mother died, well, it's not his fault either!! When the girl was talking about being in the hospital and the things her father alledgely said, he said he never knew she was in a hospital that she had never told him, her immediate response was "maybe you weren't listening" so if she thinks he wasn't listening and didn't hear it, how come she says he said awful things to her? Why aren't the aunt and uncle there to back her up? The father didn't know she had written about that, the girl could have had the relatives that supposedly her it either on the show or write Dr Phil some statements. They both need to grow up. Especially the whiney daughter. I can't imagine my life without either of my parents, they were/are the BEST!
 
May 14, 2009, 4:29 pm CDT

Relationships are Hard

I have had a bad relationship with my father. I have never had a good relationship with my father. Even as a child we just didn't get along for heck sakes he called me a baby well when i was little. Then when my parents got divorced everyone thought my mother put her feeling on me, and no i have my own mind and thoughts so i can make my own opinion and we had never had a relationship. I would like to have a relationship with him but every time i make an effort he is either really mean or really fake. I asked him to help me with something and he said he would only do it if i was nice to him. (i never talk to him enough to not be nice to him) but i said why i am the child in this relationship and you are the adult you should take charge and be the one to try and fix our relationship not me. I mean if it was ten years ago and this was happening i would be 6 and he would be 50. who's job would it to take charge. The PARENT. physically i am 16 but when it comes to our relationship i am just a little kid who would like to have a good father. Hopefully later on in life we will at least be cordial.

 

 
May 14, 2009, 4:57 pm CDT

spoiled brat

It seems to me as if Lauren enjoys playing the victim.  I thing she likes the attention she gets from saying "oh poor me".  I think mom probably spoiled her rotten and now that she is gone no one is there to give her everything.  She kept crying about her father not paying for her college.  Well BOO HOO!!!!!  I had to pay my way through college.  Not because my parents didn't love me but because they could not afford it.  She needs to grow up and take responsibility for her choices and her life and stop blaming her dad.
 
May 14, 2009, 5:31 pm CDT

aNGRY

I would like to know why Dr phil is digging at the father....... that girl had it made when it comes to school and money ......i am single mother and I put myself threw college. I went into MY OWN debt for college.....she has 5 years her parents paid everything and that is University!!! I beleive that they decided to help her with her education ...but she should have been working to help with that!!! I am just amazed at how Dr phil sat there and asked him "if he wanted to do it " yet not realizing that Lauren is taking advantage of what She actually got from her father....... she has an education ........get a job!!!!!
 
May 14, 2009, 5:36 pm CDT

Grew up without a father also

I was so moved by today's show. My father was an absent parent throughout my entire life and I do believe Dr. Phil when he says it has a tremendous negative impact on a young girl's life/development. I too made a bad choice to marry very very young. I was 16 when I met the man who was 8 years my senior. My Mother wanted to strangle me; I think she should have had the chance to watch Dr Phil's episode of May 14. Both my parents divorced when I was 7 years young. I'm single today, I have 2 wonderful teenage kids and I'm making the best life for them and myself.  I must say I was in deep therapy for approx. 5 years which has made me a better and stronger woman today!  Great show, Dr. Phil! Keep up the great work!

 
May 14, 2009, 5:40 pm CDT

Grow up!

Lauren needs to grow up! I have never seen such a whiny baby at that age. If you read between the lines, Lauren is prostituting herself because she is trying to use emotional manipulation to get her dad to give her money. She also uses her mom's death as an emotional manipulation device. Dr. Phil is so off base it's not even funny. If she were my daughter I would be pissed off too! I think that he was a dad in the same way that my husband is a dad, a provider, someone who plays with the kids sometimes, and Lauren's mom was like me and took point on raising the children. Lauren obviously expected her dad to fork over more money to compensate for her mom dying instead of turning to him iemotionaly n the way she would have turned to her mom. This is her fault for not seeing him as anything more than a paycheck, not his fault. He would have loved to have filled the void left by Lauren's mom, Lauren refused to let him and just wanted money and when he couldn't give what she wanted, Lauren labeled him a bad dad. My heart breaks for Lauren's dad and if my children ever treated their dad this way if I died, I would come back and haunt them until they knocked it off!!! I have never been so irritated at a guest as I was with Lauren, not even octo-mom! Probably just because Dr. Phil seemed to be completely on Lauren's side and I think he missed it completely. AARRRGGGHHH!!
 
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