Topic : 05/14 Not Daddy's Little Girl

Why does everyone blame the dad? He was probably manipulated by your mother years ago and resents her. It has nothing to do with you. You were born into two adults lives, your mother will raise you, your dad will be there when he's there. It's nobody's fault. it is what it is. The reason girls who grow up without fathers feel so messed up is because they grow up to copy their mothers behavior. Single women with kids or without feel like their is something wrong with them. I guess. It's an endless cycle of self pitty and neediness. What decent guy wants to be with a full grown woman dealing with daddy issues. Your dad can't give you anything you can't give yourself and no one else can either.

Daddy Doctor Girl Little Not Phil/Robin. At lease you donot have a girls to play with. See you on May 14th,--

2009 Thursday. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Dr. Phil,

 

I know this show is about a father/daughter relationship, but I know a mother/son relationship that desperately needs your help.  The mothers' name is Sheila and she wrote to you a few weeks ago about her out of control 21 year old son, Jake.  From Jakes' perspective, a lot of this rocky relationship stems from Sheila's and Jake's father's divorce about six years ago, and Jake hasn't and refuses to come to terms with that event.  Jake has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, out of control raging and anger toward his family; he's held a gun to his brothers head and cut him with a knife, as well as being physically and emotionally abusive toward his mom and dad.  Jake was living with his father, but for the last 6 weeks or so he has been living with his mom and I.  We are desperately trying to get him some help.  Along with the drug, alcohol abuse, and the raging, we feel Jake has serious emotional problems like depression and ADHD because he has an extremely hard time focusing, plus he gets bored easily and feels he needs to do something all the time.  We have scheduled him to be evaluated by a psychiatrist but that will not happen until July due to his insurance and being back logged.  In the meantime Jake is going down the tubes fast!  Jake needs a complete work up Dr. Phil, to try and find out what's truly going on, but I fear he will not get that in July without your help.  I truly feel that you are this familys only hope, Dr. Phil, and there will be a funeral if Jake doesn't get the help he needs. 

 

Please Dr. Phil, help Jake!

Wow! So glad i had a best friends kind of relationship with my parents. Spared me from a lot of drama!

YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH WHAT HAS HAPPEN IN THE PAST BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FATHER AND TRY TO FORGIVE HIM.I KNOW IT IS HARD,BUT IT MUST BE DONE.YOU CAN NOT TRY TO BLAME OTHERS FOR WHAT IS GOING WRONG IN YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILTY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS AND WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS NO BODY ELSE CAN GIVE IT TO YOU.AS FOR YOUR FATHER ,THE TWO OF YOU HAVE TO SIT DOWN AND TRY AND HAVE A CONVERSATION AND DISCUSS THE MATTER AND SEE IF YOU STILL WANT HIM IN YOUR LIFE AND HE STILL WANT YOU IN HIS LIFE.

 

DON'T WORRY THINGS WILL WORK OUT FOR THE BETTER,THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT.

Is this Dad for real?  He is extremely selfish and self absorbed.  The reason his daughter has any financial problems at all is because he hasn't obviously handled his own very well.  She has no self esteem or self worth.  I think people should have to pass a test before they are allowed to be parents!

Today's show has really touched my heart. I am a female, age 42 and my father CHOOSE to not be a part of my life for 30 years.  Growing up, me and my oldest sister had the perfect childhood. Two wonderful and close parents. We spent everyday together. Every weekend doing something together. No fussing,no fighting no turmoil of any kind. Then... one day on the way to my aunt's house, our mother told us that she was leaving my father. Shock wasn't even close to what I felt. Devastated is more like it. We moved to a big new city. Started over just me my mother and my sister. My father was so mad and upset that he just couldn't stand to see us because it hurt so bad. My mother begged him to be apart of our lives but he just couldn't. For many many years I resented him so much. My mother NEVER talked bad about him and she tried to make excuses for him not seeing us. I always thought "I" did something wrong. When I got older and got married and had children, I tried going to see him because I had been going through some serious depression. He acted as though I were a stranger. In a way I guess I was. Years later, I got a call from my mother- "Your daddy is very sick, in the nursing home-you need to go see him because he is asking to see you and your sister. That was September 2008, eight (8) months ago. I went and seen him and he was this frail older little man that seemed really pleased to see me. I was so grateful that God allowed us another chance to bond and have a father-daughter relationship. He had Lung Cancer and it was terminal. I was so devastated. Again,  he would be gone but this time there were not going to be second or third chances to make things right, bond ,build or anything else. He died on April 8,2009.  Those  seven months I got to spend with my father were very bittersweet. We got very very close. I still loved him like when I was a little girl growing up. I forgave myself and I forgave my father for those 30 years. I let my father know how much I always loved him and he let me know how much he always loved me. I chose not to dwell on the past and only concentrated on the time that I would have with him.  He was only 68 when he died. He was not perfect and neither am I. I have two daughters. They are both extremely close to their fathers. I am close to both of their fathers because it takes TWO parents to make a child and it should take TWO parents to raise one. My daughters are 20 and 15. My oldest daughter lives with her father whom I never married. She has been with him since she was 14 years old. My husband raised her from the time she was one until she went and lived with her father. They also have a GREAT relationship.

My youngest daughter is very close with her father, my husband also. I thank GOD everyday that they feel loved and appreciated by their fathers. I am very grateful and very supportive of their need to have that closeness and that special relationship that as their mother could never provide to them myself.  I also have a close relationship with my two daughters. I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING in this whole world.

 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE try everything you can to have a relationship if possible. It is never too late.

Leave the past where it belongs-in  the past. It takes father AND daughter to make it work. Forgive, forget and only live in the NOW.

 

From someone who knows!!!!!

 

 

 

 

I totally agree with you when you said how important a father is to his daughter.  I was not told by my father how pretty or how special I was.  The first man that said it to me made me feel so good and special.  I loved him so much.  I married this man and 16 years later divorced him raising 3 sons by myself.  If told by my father these things it would not have excited me when my ex said it.  Fathers are so important.  If they only knew.

Grow up and get a job!  Stop being a hooker and get a job with those degrees that you have and stop expecting your father to continue to pay for your education! You are an adult so act like one.  Stop always blaming your Dad and make a difference for yourself.  You can't go through life always blaming others for your problems!!!! Grow up. 

It was difficult to sit and watch today's show.  In fact, I almost didn't as tears welled up in my eyes when I saw the advertisement earlier in the day.  I have empathy for Lauren and believe what she is saying.  It's diffcult growing up and not having a postive, healthy relationship with your dad.  I hope she and her father get the counseling needed to move beyond today and put their relationship on track.  Not having a solid male role model wreaks havic on little girls as they end up turning to other male figures for that validation and attention for which they are so desperate.  I know this all too well as my relationship with my dad was strained at best.  I now he loved me, but he had a lot of demons that proved to be too much for him to handle.  He said and did a lot of things to me, my mom, and younger sister that make me cry even know as I sit and spill out my heart.  When I confronted him he always denied the things he said and did and wanted to blame others for his mistakes.  Unfortunately he passed unexpectedly in December 2001 and we were never able to have the kind of relationship I so wanted and still want to this day.  He was never able to see my success, to witness my marriage, or to meet his adorable grandson.  It makes me so sad when I think about it even to this day and wish so much there was some way to heal the hurt.  It's gotten better, but the pain is still there.  I've simply learned to accept the past and move forward.  I do not want Lauren to be in this same position.  I can tell by looking at them, they do have a deep love for one another.  They just need someone to intervene and get them on the right track.  I beg you to work things out.  If not, you, too, may end up with regrets later in life.  Regrets that could have been avoided.  Lauren is so young and has her whole life ahead.  Her father can't afford to miss out on her future as she is his legacy.  Please work it out.  Please open your hearts to one another.  Please sit down, talk, give each other a long over due hug and have a good cry.  And, Lauren, please stop hooking.  You deserve better and don't ever let anyone make you feel differently.