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Topic : 05/20 How to Fix a Broken Family

Number of Replies: 11
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Monday, May 18, 2009, 11:54:15 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
You've heard people complain, "If I only knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be in this mess," but what about those times when you choose not to see the writing on the wall? Dr. Phil meets couples who say their relationships went from bad to worse after they said, "I do," and now their families are broken. Melody was 18 when she got pregnant and moved in with Scott, and for two years, they argued nonstop. Before they got hitched, Melody says Scott would say, "I'm not in love with you. I wish you would leave, and I wouldn't marry you for a million dollars," so why did she walk down the aisle with him? Scott says Melody pushed him into fatherhood and marriage, and there are times he doesn't love his wife. Should this couple cut their losses now, or do they have a chance for a successful union? Next, Sheree and Shawn were married for nine years and have two teenage sons. Although they've been divorced for more than five years, Sheree says Shawn won't accept it, is still in love with her and finds ways to threaten and harass her. Shawn admits he still loves Sheree, but says she betrayed him when he was dying of cancer, and now she's alienating him from his kids. Is he playing what Sherree calls the "sick card"? Hear from a woman who takes care of Shawn. Is she contributing to Shawn's behavior? Then, hear what the teenage sons have to say. And, find out the five questions you should ask yourself before you end your marriage. Join the discussion.

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May 19, 2009, 3:50 pm CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

A Broken Doctor Family Fix How Phil/robin To. What are you talking about? I never heard of that program--

before. See you on May 20th, 2009 Wednesday. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------

 
May 20, 2009, 3:27 pm CDT

Marriage??

If I were this man's wife, I would have filed for divorce a LONG time ago! I wouldn't have put up with all this crap. (1st couple's story). Now there is a child involved....... what a mess! Scott says it was the biggest mistake of his life to get married. So why did he?? And she didn't get pregnant ON HER OWN. Please people!! I get so tired of all the CRAP men say.

 

Scott needs to GROW UP and take responsibility for his child, at least!! If he doesn't want this marriage, then he needs to file for divorce and quit making excuses for his behavior.

 
May 20, 2009, 3:47 pm CDT

I have been there!

My heart goes out to Melody. I was in a marriage for 14 years where everything was "his". I was not allowed to even choose decor or furniture without his approval. Since our tastes were so different, I lived in someone else's house with all their things and had nothing of my own. When my oldest daughter graduated from college her grandparents, inlaws from my first marriage, came for the celebration. My first mother-in-law actually wanted to know what had happened to me. I was always a very strong person and always tried to suround myself with bright colors and things that would make me smile. Instead the house was in muted colors and nothing of my personality or interests were displayed within the house. I was never even allowed to hang pictures because it would put holes in the wall. When I left almost a year ago all I took were my personal belongings and I have started over. The sad thing is, I am still having a hard time finding myself again but it is getting better. I now have the freedom to surround myself with furniture and home decor of my choosing. I know it may sound trivial to some but this is a big thing to me. I can once again surround myself with things that make me smile!
 
May 20, 2009, 6:38 pm CDT

going thru it

34 years later:  I went through the first couple's dilema, am currently separated and living the life of the second couple.  However, he was the one that wanted out of the chaos in his home life and needed me to help him with that.  I called it off a few times, but he, family and friends said it was the stress of the wedding.  His behavior on our honeymoon proved my worst mistake.  Then upon arriving home, "I" was pregnant, according to him.  When I had to quit working to stay home, this seemed to satisfy the control over me.  There were good times and some really bad times, with an attempted rape and violence.  With the youngest of three children graduating from high school, he said he no longer loved me.  Period.  Out of the blue.  Our youngest daughter just turned 26 and we're still not divorced yet.  I tried everything, including reading the Dr. Phil advice, etc.  He refused everything, any kind of treatment, counseling, etc. 

Our three children experienced his wrath.  They experienced my hurt, anger, and frustration.  I left five times and finally had enough.  He is on his fourth attorney, would never produce any documents with a court order, and cries to the kids that he's having it hard.  He is presently making $27.00/hr.  I worked part-time jobs throughout, raised the kids, did all the house and yard work while he went fishing, hunting, and partied with his buddies and co-workers.  Things just got really ugly when he insisted that I try cocaine to make our relationship better.  After the second time he tried to choke me to death, I ran with my clothes and never went back.  I treated the marriage as a partnership, made excuses why their Dad wouldn't spend time with them, go to their events, etc.  To the young couple:  DON'T DO IT.   To the older couple:  THE BOYS KNOW WHAT'S UP.  They don't need to be a part of it. 

 
May 20, 2009, 6:41 pm CDT

going thru it

You've heard people complain, "If I only knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be in this mess," but what about those times when you choose not to see the writing on the wall? Dr. Phil meets couples who say their relationships went from bad to worse after they said, "I do," and now their families are broken. Melody was 18 when she got pregnant and moved in with Scott, and for two years, they argued nonstop. Before they got hitched, Melody says Scott would say, "I'm not in love with you. I wish you would leave, and I wouldn't marry you for a million dollars," so why did she walk down the aisle with him? Scott says Melody pushed him into fatherhood and marriage, and there are times he doesn't love his wife. Should this couple cut their losses now, or do they have a chance for a successful union? Next, Sheree and Shawn were married for nine years and have two teenage sons. Although they've been divorced for more than five years, Sheree says Shawn won't accept it, is still in love with her and finds ways to threaten and harass her. Shawn admits he still loves Sheree, but says she betrayed him when he was dying of cancer, and now she's alienating him from his kids. Is he playing what Sherree calls the "sick card"? Hear from a woman who takes care of Shawn. Is she contributing to Shawn's behavior? Then, hear what the teenage sons have to say. And, find out the five questions you should ask yourself before you end your marriage. Join the discussion.

 
May 21, 2009, 7:50 am CDT

My wife doesn't appretiate me.

My wife and I have been married for 6 years and it seems like ever since the wedding day things changed.  I know this is going to be only one side of the story but it is my view.  Feel free to read between the lines.  To me it feels like everything that happens wrong is my fault and everything good is because of her.  I am in the Air Force and any time we have to move or anything that can only happen because of the military is my fault for being in the military.  A little background info on this, she pushed me hard to join.  Economy was bad and I needed a job and she thought this was the best way.  Granted I had the ultimate choice, but when it is convenient for her she forgets that she really wanted me to join.  There are things that happen that I have no control over and it seems like she blames me.  I guess the biggest problem I have is that I feel beat down.  I feel like she is controlling me, and then she tells me to be a man and make decisions.  She says I act like a child, but she treats me like one.  I guess this is just more of a venting session, but I don’t know what to do.  I want to be happy, and I love my wife, I want her to be happy.  How can this be resolved without her thinking that I am attacking her and I don’t love her?

 
May 21, 2009, 8:20 am CDT

05/20 How to Fix a Broken Family

I don't understand why the first couple is even on. They both have many personal issues that they need to work on individually before they come to a relationship. Who knows why these two got married. Dr Phil gives hope that maybe they can save their marriage. Well, they've never had a marriage; neither one knows what it means to love another person that way. I have absolutely NO sympathy for this woman...she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. The only one I feel sorry for is their poor child...he has a violent, brutish father, and an idiot for a mother. It's frightening that these 2 are responsible for making decisions for an innocent child when they have the emotions and coping skills of 2 thirteen year olds, and are unable to make responsible decisions for themselves.

 
May 21, 2009, 12:52 pm CDT

05/20 How to Fix a Broken Family

Quote From: kiki2820

If I were this man's wife, I would have filed for divorce a LONG time ago! I wouldn't have put up with all this crap. (1st couple's story). Now there is a child involved....... what a mess! Scott says it was the biggest mistake of his life to get married. So why did he?? And she didn't get pregnant ON HER OWN. Please people!! I get so tired of all the CRAP men say.

 

Scott needs to GROW UP and take responsibility for his child, at least!! If he doesn't want this marriage, then he needs to file for divorce and quit making excuses for his behavior.

Agreeing with you 100 percent. I thought the dude in the first story was a world class jerk! If he didn't like his wife why even get with her in the first place. He placed all the blame on her rather then take his share of the blame. this guy doesn't deserve to have a family. If the wife was smart she'd take the kid and run fast!!!!!!!!!
 
May 22, 2009, 7:27 pm CDT

05/20 How to Fix a Broken Family

Quote From: leogorky

I don't understand why the first couple is even on. They both have many personal issues that they need to work on individually before they come to a relationship. Who knows why these two got married. Dr Phil gives hope that maybe they can save their marriage. Well, they've never had a marriage; neither one knows what it means to love another person that way. I have absolutely NO sympathy for this woman...she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. The only one I feel sorry for is their poor child...he has a violent, brutish father, and an idiot for a mother. It's frightening that these 2 are responsible for making decisions for an innocent child when they have the emotions and coping skills of 2 thirteen year olds, and are unable to make responsible decisions for themselves.

I agree. They are both at fault. She was already spoiled rotten by her father. And not willing to support herself. So she married a successful older man.
 
May 23, 2009, 8:14 am CDT

05/20 How to Fix a Broken Family

Quote From: leogorky

I don't understand why the first couple is even on. They both have many personal issues that they need to work on individually before they come to a relationship. Who knows why these two got married. Dr Phil gives hope that maybe they can save their marriage. Well, they've never had a marriage; neither one knows what it means to love another person that way. I have absolutely NO sympathy for this woman...she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. The only one I feel sorry for is their poor child...he has a violent, brutish father, and an idiot for a mother. It's frightening that these 2 are responsible for making decisions for an innocent child when they have the emotions and coping skills of 2 thirteen year olds, and are unable to make responsible decisions for themselves.

You are a breath of fresh air. You are not of the all too common throw the man under the bus and absolve the woman of all responsibility mentality that seems to pervade these boards. They both have faults. Do not know why he married a woman he did not suffiently love. Did she love hhm that way? Doubt it. I think she wanted a sugar daddy.
 
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