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Topic : 08/19 Caught in the System

Number of Replies: 75
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, May 21, 2009, 05:57:56 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/25/09) Over half a million kids live in foster care, and many are neglected, unloved and viewed as a paycheck by their new family. Dr. Phil takes a hard look at the harsh realities these forgotten kids face and sends an urgent message about the need to repair this ailing system. Jessica, 24, aged out of foster care six years ago, but before foster care, she says her childhood was horrific. She says she experienced things a child never should, including witnessing the murder of her 5-year-old sister … by her mother and stepfather. Will Jessica find the strength to overcome her abusive past? Don’t miss Dr. Phil’s surprise for her! And, Dr. Phil and Robin are the national spokespersons for Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA), which trains volunteers to watch over and advocate for abused and neglected children. Find out how Robin laid down the law at a recent CASA graduation. Then, Juan is 18 and has lived in 25 foster homes during his childhood. Now that he's been emancipated, he has no job, no identification and jumps from couch to couch. Can the young man get the tools he needs to turn his life around? Plus, find out how the New Orleans Saints head coach, Sean Payton, his wife, Beth, and The Dr. Phil Foundation scored a touchdown together! Join the discussion.

Ten years after the Columbine shootings, Anne Marie found a way to give back. She became a CASA volunteer. Read Anne Marie’s Blog.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 25, 2009, 1:50 pm CDT

SAd that in 53 year this show proves that nothing has changed in the foster care system

I am 53 years old and I was in foster care at the  age of 8 because of family abuse in my home.

 

 
May 25, 2009, 1:57 pm CDT

Caught In the System

Thanks Dr. Phil for doing a show on kids caught in the foster care system. Unfortunately there are thousands of children “aging out” of the system with similar or worst stories.  I suggest that you do a follow-up show on what resources are available for these young people before and after they leave the system. There are services and programs that are available to help. One good resource is Foster Care Alumni of America.  http://fostercarealumni.org/

 
May 25, 2009, 1:58 pm CDT

THE OTHER SIDE-BIO FAMILIES

First, I want to thank shelove2 for her response;  What Dr. Phil refuses to do a show on about the corrupt system, is the fact that FAR TOO MANY children are removed from their loving biological families FOR NO REASON!!  A lot of times, it is one of the parents that should have been removed by the police, yet they leave the "danger" there, and remove the innocent!  Does the system EVER bother to find out what the REAL STORY is?  NO THEY DO NOT!  Do they try to find out the TRUTH?  NO, THEY DO NOT...in fact, I do not believe they even know the meaning of the word!!  DR. PHIL.....maybe you need to do a show on PARENTAL ALIENATION!  THAT fact also plays a big part in why the system does not work!  Take a child(ren) that have been VERY CLOSE to their entire bio family; they see them one day, expecting to see them the next day or in a few days, but then, overnight, are told they CAN NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!!  Can you even IMAGINE how devastating that is to a child?  Sometimes, the mental and emotional abuse INFLICTED BY THE "SYSTEM" is far worse than anything they have experienced at home!  There are also SOME, not all, foster families that TOTALLY DISREGARD the law also;  such as, ignoring the childs/bio parents religious preferences; the parents right to be involved in the child's school conferences, etc.  The courts, judges, GALS, etc are also guilty as sin of this!  I BEG YOU ALL.....just do your research, your own investigations on this; read all the FACTUAL EVIDENCE, DOCUMENTS that wronged biological parents have put out there for people to read!  IT WILL SHOCK AND ASTOUND YOU!!  AND DR. PHIL.....YOU REALLY NEED TO LET MS. KATHLEEN DEARINGER BE A GUEST ON YOUR SHOW.....She is one of the best persons I know that could EXPOSE the corruptness of the system, and have the documentation to back it up!  (That is something even DHS/DCFS/CPS cannot seem to come up with when requested!)  I will remain DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, DR. PHIL, UNTIL YOU WAKE UP!
 
May 25, 2009, 2:06 pm CDT

OUR BABY HAS NO VOICE!!!

Truth be told, CASA workers are poeple who volunteer their time but do NOT always do the right thing. My understanding is that they are to provide unbiased facts and statements in court. As foster parents...we have all the responsibilities, but absolutely NO RIGHTS! We currently are fostering a beautiful baby girl. We've had her since she was 3 days old. (she's 10 months now). Her mother is 16 (15 when she gave birth) and is a CPS child as well, and baby's dad is currently 16, not in school, no GED, history of drug use, alcohol use, had just finished a 1 year probation term before baby was born for an assult charge for causing serious bodily injury on a family member. His ONLY support system is his mother who has stated she's willing to provide food and shelter for the baby but cannot provide day to day care for her. Knowing all of this...the CASA worker is still recomending placement of the baby w her dad, who by the way in his post parenting test showed that he is prone to using corporal punishment . Also durring this whole process, although he's completed his service plan and held a job for 9 months...he was commended in court for being employee of the month in March, but no one mentioned the fact that he got arrested for stealing that month as well!!! And as for the baby's attorney!!! What a joke!!! He has yet to speak to us other than to ask us to verify our phone numbers, and that was without introducing himself to us. We asked who he was, and he just turned his back to us and walked away. This was at the very 1st court hearing. He hasn't spoke to us since. It's so frustrating to hear that CASA reports are the main info read by the judge. It's also hard when as foster parents, we love this baby as our own and we cannot even voice our own concerns to the judge. It's as though OUR BABY HAS NO VOICE!!!

 
May 25, 2009, 2:35 pm CDT

Caught in the System

Quote From: shelove2

Hello dr. Phil,

 

I was watching your show on Mon. 5/25/2009 concerning children lost in the foster care system.  I am from the state of illinois.  I have worked in this system as a case worker, a child care worker (residential) and as a teacher for special needs children that were in the system or about to enter the system.  One of the problems with the system is all the red tape that is involved.  We have the lives of the children in the palm of our hands and it seems to me that red tape should NEVER be involed.  The court process is to long also.  What I really wanted to throw out to you is this.  I have seen many children removed from their homes for no reason at all.  I do know and believe that there is child abuse daily!!!!  Why can't more resources be used or re-distributed to facilitate keeping children in their homes and helping parents and children in the that environment to become resourceful and effective.  some parents need housekeeping skills, structuring days for their children, finding a job etc.  Maybe if we diminish the unwanted removal of children from homes due to having a dirty house, dirty clothes etc.  This may allow caseworkers time and effort to better help children that should really be removed from their homes.  Having worked with these children for years and seeing the fear, dispair and hopelessness in their faces, I believe that removing a child from their parents is a hurt We will never be able to repair.  Just throwing this out there.  What do you think.

I live in Indiana, I have had 2 grandchildren removed from their homes....my grandson's case is the one that bothers me the most.......I feel that Casa/GAL/DCS  all act too impulsively on reports made to them.  False allegations were made in regards to the maternal grandparents, where my grandson was placed by them......then BAM!!!  they feel it's in the best interest of the child to up and remove him from there, solely based on the allegations made by his aunt,.....who is a Cross-Addicted  Alcoholic, Bi-polar, ...I better stop there...No one has been able to see him, no word from him for over a month......I know he muist be feeling that we don't love him anymore or care about him anymore.....but THAT IS NOT TRUE.......I am always thinking about him and how he must be feeling and it KILLS ME DEEP INSIDE....I am about to lose my own sanity just thinking about it....THE POINT IS there should have been no reason for him to be removed from the home....he was not abused, mistreated, neglected in any way shape or form.  He was well taken care of....never wanted for anything....THE SADDEST PART IS THAT HE IS ONLY 7 YEARS OLD AND HAD TO BE  REMOVED FROM THE HOME BY THE COUNTY SHERIFF DEPT......I SAY THEY NEED TO INVESTIGATE THE CALLERS TO DCS FIRST AND FOREMOST....THIS PERSON EVEN STOPPED BY MY HOME AND IN SO MANY WORDS SAID WHAT SHE PLANNED TO DO.....I OF COURSE THOUGHT IT WAS JUST HER DRUNK TALK AGAIN....HAD I KNOWN SHE WAS GOING TO GO THRU WITH WHAT SHE SAID THAT NIGHT,,,,SHE WOULD NOW BE IN JAIL FOR HER FOURTH DUI......JUST PRAY FOR MY GRANDSON, HE NEEDS TO BE HOME WITH US THAT DO CARE AND LOVE HIM.....WE DO NOT ABUSE AND NEGLECT OUR CHILDREN OR GRANDCHILDREN........POLITICS IS ALL I CAN SAY....MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
 
May 25, 2009, 2:40 pm CDT

not all foster parents are bad

My name is Denise and I am a foster parent... a good foster parent. My children have their own room, privacy, beautiful clothes, access to activities, a great school, vacations... you name it!! They are loved and enjoyed. I know there are some real horror stories within the system, but some of us really do love the children that come through our doors. My husband and I have helped numerous children and are very proud of the work we do. I would really love it if you highlighted some of the foster parents who are doing right by the children in their care. I  really hate that I have to defend our family when people discover that we are a foster family and immediately make huge assumptions about us. We love our children and trust me they know it!! Please let people know that not all of us see our children as "paycheques." My children have a home and a family that loves them. We may be a foster family but the keyword is "family." I am proud to say that I am a foster mom to three pretty amazing children who are loved, treasured and well cared for.

 

One of the Good Ones,

Denise 

 
May 25, 2009, 2:57 pm CDT

05/25 Caught in the System

dr. phil's  show touced my heart, i have just finished filling out paperwork to be a foster parent, i cant have children of my own and i want to make a difference in a childs life, i now wrote to dr. phil for information and help on how to adopt, so that a child will perm. have a home instead of gettng a child for a short time and then that child going from home to home. i want to give a child a perm loving home so they know they are safe and i am there fr the long haul. you get lot of people that foster for a paycheck and that is not the case with me,  i would like to adopt and am hoping dr. phil can guide me in the right direction. they make it so expensive that people like myself cant afford to adopt. i cant have children of my own and would love to adopt. wish me luck. 
 
May 25, 2009, 3:10 pm CDT

SERIOUSLY-Caught in the System

I have a young cousin by the name of Ashley Jones. When you were talking about the young guy name Juan, forgive me if I get the name wrong, it seemed as though you were talking about a male version of my younger cousin Ashley. First of all, to be abandoned by both parents is devastating in itself. Second, to have someone tell you that you don't exist, when you are standing right before them, because there is NO record to validate your existence it has got to be crushing. Don't get me wrong, Ashley nor her sisters and brother were put into the faucster system which was a Blessing. My Grandmother stepped in, sacrificed and raised them the best she could in the situation she was left with. Grandma recently had a stroke and I am the primary caregiver for her since August 2008, but that's another story for another day. Because of the actions taken or not taken by Ashley's mom, my aunt, and Grandma she is barely hanging on by a thread. Ashley was doing well at one point, but since hitting the brick wall she constantly finds herself slamming her head against she is reverting and I don't see anything good coming from that situation.

 

I can only imagine her lost feelings of despair. She completed either her GED and / or a training course that she felt could have elevated her and her daughter from the situation she currently finds herself in, but with no ID, birth certificate or social security card she is stuck in the same spot with no success in sight. She has become quite dysfunctional and hostile and I find myself not wanting to be in her company, BUT I love her and she is or was trying so hard to better her situation, which made me want to do what I could to help her. Her dream of a successful future is rapidly declining and I don't know how soon it will be before she hits rock bottom. PLEASE HELP HER!!!

 

Ashley's Big Cousin

Venus E. Williams

 
May 25, 2009, 3:30 pm CDT

response

Quote From: fawxfyre

First, I want to thank shelove2 for her response;  What Dr. Phil refuses to do a show on about the corrupt system, is the fact that FAR TOO MANY children are removed from their loving biological families FOR NO REASON!!  A lot of times, it is one of the parents that should have been removed by the police, yet they leave the "danger" there, and remove the innocent!  Does the system EVER bother to find out what the REAL STORY is?  NO THEY DO NOT!  Do they try to find out the TRUTH?  NO, THEY DO NOT...in fact, I do not believe they even know the meaning of the word!!  DR. PHIL.....maybe you need to do a show on PARENTAL ALIENATION!  THAT fact also plays a big part in why the system does not work!  Take a child(ren) that have been VERY CLOSE to their entire bio family; they see them one day, expecting to see them the next day or in a few days, but then, overnight, are told they CAN NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!!  Can you even IMAGINE how devastating that is to a child?  Sometimes, the mental and emotional abuse INFLICTED BY THE "SYSTEM" is far worse than anything they have experienced at home!  There are also SOME, not all, foster families that TOTALLY DISREGARD the law also;  such as, ignoring the childs/bio parents religious preferences; the parents right to be involved in the child's school conferences, etc.  The courts, judges, GALS, etc are also guilty as sin of this!  I BEG YOU ALL.....just do your research, your own investigations on this; read all the FACTUAL EVIDENCE, DOCUMENTS that wronged biological parents have put out there for people to read!  IT WILL SHOCK AND ASTOUND YOU!!  AND DR. PHIL.....YOU REALLY NEED TO LET MS. KATHLEEN DEARINGER BE A GUEST ON YOUR SHOW.....She is one of the best persons I know that could EXPOSE the corruptness of the system, and have the documentation to back it up!  (That is something even DHS/DCFS/CPS cannot seem to come up with when requested!)  I will remain DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, DR. PHIL, UNTIL YOU WAKE UP!
I am the biological mother of a child that was in foster care for an unknown reason. They told the child it was because I was too protective...they told me that it was because I took him to the doctor too much,,,then not enough. HMM! Which is it? I never found out. Yet I remain on the child abuse register as a level 3(which is the worst) for 18 years. Me and my child will tell you horror stories and every law that has basically been broke. They wouldnt place the child with my mother nor relatives. He was not allowed to contact me by phone all of our letters were opened and read, the computer was not even used to contact. I was not even informed of what school my child was attending. The real abuse happened to my child after he was taken from my home. He was subjected to heavy cigarette smoke and a 16 year old that was on house arrest that bruised and burned my child. Who sends a child camping in December anyway? My child was locked outside one night and left to sleep under porch steps. I was not allowed to attend appointments with my child...in fact when he had to go in to get his first fillings...they changed the appointments and I do not think that he got the fillings until he was returned to me. These people are evil and get away with all of this because no one has the guts to bust them wide open. The local media here is an even  bigger joke. I have proof that they planned to take my child earlier in the day and when I didnt show for a meeting...they decided that they would do it then. The emergency removal order was full of lies and third party hearsay. The police came to remove my child yet no one ever filed charges against me. I was accused of drug use...I went that very night and had blood work and a mental evaluation and was found normal and no drugs...however my blood pressure was 210 over 180.
 
May 25, 2009, 3:34 pm CDT

foster care

Dr. Phil,

 

This is a silent epidemic. Case workers are overloaded, but also idiotic decisions are made everyday with out excuse. We had 2 kids in our care, who were essentially  returned to a pedifile, and we spent thousands to try and prevent it. Our hearts are broken, It seems NOBODY cared enough to do anything. I would love to tell our story to someone who has the courage to say what, why did the courts and the state return these children. I will tell  you the name of the man, his alias, and how a chilren we cared for for 2 years were ripped from our care to return to a mom who knowingly turned her children over to the very man with founded alligations of sexual abuse against her and her brother. Is there any body that cares about these two boys enough to do something?

 
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