Topic : 08/19 Caught in the System

I am 53 years old and I was in foster care at the  age of 8 because of family abuse in my home.

Thanks Dr. Phil for doing a show on kids caught in the foster care system. Unfortunately there are thousands of children “aging out” of the system with similar or worst stories.  I suggest that you do a follow-up show on what resources are available for these young people before and after they leave the system. There are services and programs that are available to help. One good resource is Foster Care Alumni of America.  http://fostercarealumni.org/

Truth be told, CASA workers are poeple who volunteer their time but do NOT always do the right thing. My understanding is that they are to provide unbiased facts and statements in court. As foster parents...we have all the responsibilities, but absolutely NO RIGHTS! We currently are fostering a beautiful baby girl. We've had her since she was 3 days old. (she's 10 months now). Her mother is 16 (15 when she gave birth) and is a CPS child as well, and baby's dad is currently 16, not in school, no GED, history of drug use, alcohol use, had just finished a 1 year probation term before baby was born for an assult charge for causing serious bodily injury on a family member. His ONLY support system is his mother who has stated she's willing to provide food and shelter for the baby but cannot provide day to day care for her. Knowing all of this...the CASA worker is still recomending placement of the baby w her dad, who by the way in his post parenting test showed that he is prone to using corporal punishment . Also durring this whole process, although he's completed his service plan and held a job for 9 months...he was commended in court for being employee of the month in March, but no one mentioned the fact that he got arrested for stealing that month as well!!! And as for the baby's attorney!!! What a joke!!! He has yet to speak to us other than to ask us to verify our phone numbers, and that was without introducing himself to us. We asked who he was, and he just turned his back to us and walked away. This was at the very 1st court hearing. He hasn't spoke to us since. It's so frustrating to hear that CASA reports are the main info read by the judge. It's also hard when as foster parents, we love this baby as our own and we cannot even voice our own concerns to the judge. It's as though OUR BABY HAS NO VOICE!!!

My name is Denise and I am a foster parent... a good foster parent. My children have their own room, privacy, beautiful clothes, access to activities, a great school, vacations... you name it!! They are loved and enjoyed. I know there are some real horror stories within the system, but some of us really do love the children that come through our doors. My husband and I have helped numerous children and are very proud of the work we do. I would really love it if you highlighted some of the foster parents who are doing right by the children in their care. I  really hate that I have to defend our family when people discover that we are a foster family and immediately make huge assumptions about us. We love our children and trust me they know it!! Please let people know that not all of us see our children as "paycheques." My children have a home and a family that loves them. We may be a foster family but the keyword is "family." I am proud to say that I am a foster mom to three pretty amazing children who are loved, treasured and well cared for.

One of the Good Ones,

Denise 

I have a young cousin by the name of Ashley Jones. When you were talking about the young guy name Juan, forgive me if I get the name wrong, it seemed as though you were talking about a male version of my younger cousin Ashley. First of all, to be abandoned by both parents is devastating in itself. Second, to have someone tell you that you don't exist, when you are standing right before them, because there is NO record to validate your existence it has got to be crushing. Don't get me wrong, Ashley nor her sisters and brother were put into the faucster system which was a Blessing. My Grandmother stepped in, sacrificed and raised them the best she could in the situation she was left with. Grandma recently had a stroke and I am the primary caregiver for her since August 2008, but that's another story for another day. Because of the actions taken or not taken by Ashley's mom, my aunt, and Grandma she is barely hanging on by a thread. Ashley was doing well at one point, but since hitting the brick wall she constantly finds herself slamming her head against she is reverting and I don't see anything good coming from that situation.

I can only imagine her lost feelings of despair. She completed either her GED and / or a training course that she felt could have elevated her and her daughter from the situation she currently finds herself in, but with no ID, birth certificate or social security card she is stuck in the same spot with no success in sight. She has become quite dysfunctional and hostile and I find myself not wanting to be in her company, BUT I love her and she is or was trying so hard to better her situation, which made me want to do what I could to help her. Her dream of a successful future is rapidly declining and I don't know how soon it will be before she hits rock bottom. PLEASE HELP HER!!!

Ashley's Big Cousin

Venus E. Williams

Dr. Phil,

This is a silent epidemic. Case workers are overloaded, but also idiotic decisions are made everyday with out excuse. We had 2 kids in our care, who were essentially  returned to a pedifile, and we spent thousands to try and prevent it. Our hearts are broken, It seems NOBODY cared enough to do anything. I would love to tell our story to someone who has the courage to say what, why did the courts and the state return these children. I will tell  you the name of the man, his alias, and how a chilren we cared for for 2 years were ripped from our care to return to a mom who knowingly turned her children over to the very man with founded alligations of sexual abuse against her and her brother. Is there any body that cares about these two boys enough to do something?