Message Boards

Topic : 08/19 Caught in the System

Number of Replies: 75
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, May 21, 2009, 05:57:56 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/25/09) Over half a million kids live in foster care, and many are neglected, unloved and viewed as a paycheck by their new family. Dr. Phil takes a hard look at the harsh realities these forgotten kids face and sends an urgent message about the need to repair this ailing system. Jessica, 24, aged out of foster care six years ago, but before foster care, she says her childhood was horrific. She says she experienced things a child never should, including witnessing the murder of her 5-year-old sister … by her mother and stepfather. Will Jessica find the strength to overcome her abusive past? Don’t miss Dr. Phil’s surprise for her! And, Dr. Phil and Robin are the national spokespersons for Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA), which trains volunteers to watch over and advocate for abused and neglected children. Find out how Robin laid down the law at a recent CASA graduation. Then, Juan is 18 and has lived in 25 foster homes during his childhood. Now that he's been emancipated, he has no job, no identification and jumps from couch to couch. Can the young man get the tools he needs to turn his life around? Plus, find out how the New Orleans Saints head coach, Sean Payton, his wife, Beth, and The Dr. Phil Foundation scored a touchdown together! Join the discussion.

Ten years after the Columbine shootings, Anne Marie found a way to give back. She became a CASA volunteer. Read Anne Marie’s Blog.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 22, 2009, 10:47 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

Caught Doctor In Phil System The. Are you kidding me? What are you trying to poll? A Fast trick on me?-----

Donot do that again. Day Happy Memorial. See you on May Monday 25th, 2009. Sincerley You. Russell Vla-

anderen.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
May 25, 2009, 6:24 am CDT

Foster Care

I am a Child Protective Services Investigator.  The story of Jessica is horrible.  However in my job you see these things everyday! There are so many things about our "system" that annoys me.  But I do want to make a correction.  You are not kicked out of foster care at age 18.  You have the option to stay in and get assistance until 21.  IF you want to go to college, the state pays it.  IF you want to get an apartment and job, the state helps get this.  HOwever the child decides what to do at 18.  Alot of them decide to go out on their own.  If they decide to do that they have 1 year to decide to get back in foster care.  I just thought that needed to be addressed because so far in the show it has not.  IF a child leave at 18 that is their decision!

 
May 25, 2009, 7:16 am CDT

CASA =GAL

I am so glad this topic was discussed.  I am a Guardian ad Litem, which falls under the CASA unbrella.  I take my job very seriously.  I currently have two active cases.  These kids need a voice that will be objective.  Thank you Dr. Phil.  The sad thing is that in my communitee we have lost some volunteers because the mileage stipend has been suspended. I live in a very rural area and sometimes to do a visit, the drive may be 30 minutes to an hour.  Since the suspension, I see who is really committed to the kids.   
 
May 25, 2009, 7:22 am CDT

True

Quote From: chsmith23

I am a Child Protective Services Investigator.  The story of Jessica is horrible.  However in my job you see these things everyday! There are so many things about our "system" that annoys me.  But I do want to make a correction.  You are not kicked out of foster care at age 18.  You have the option to stay in and get assistance until 21.  IF you want to go to college, the state pays it.  IF you want to get an apartment and job, the state helps get this.  HOwever the child decides what to do at 18.  Alot of them decide to go out on their own.  If they decide to do that they have 1 year to decide to get back in foster care.  I just thought that needed to be addressed because so far in the show it has not.  IF a child leave at 18 that is their decision!

My comment to you is why would they want to stay in a system for even a day longer that has let them down already? I was in your system over 35 years ago and nothing has changed!! I was adopted when I was 12 years old which is unheard and I thank god for my parents. Now all people want are babies.. I really need to be on this show also to share some other views.. I am so pissed off anyone that would defend anything that works or that would even try to defend this type treatment and mental abuse!!
 
May 25, 2009, 7:59 am CDT

the foster care sytem

Hello dr. Phil,

 

I was watching your show on Mon. 5/25/2009 concerning children lost in the foster care system.  I am from the state of illinois.  I have worked in this system as a case worker, a child care worker (residential) and as a teacher for special needs children that were in the system or about to enter the system.  One of the problems with the system is all the red tape that is involved.  We have the lives of the children in the palm of our hands and it seems to me that red tape should NEVER be involed.  The court process is to long also.  What I really wanted to throw out to you is this.  I have seen many children removed from their homes for no reason at all.  I do know and believe that there is child abuse daily!!!!  Why can't more resources be used or re-distributed to facilitate keeping children in their homes and helping parents and children in the that environment to become resourceful and effective.  some parents need housekeeping skills, structuring days for their children, finding a job etc.  Maybe if we diminish the unwanted removal of children from homes due to having a dirty house, dirty clothes etc.  This may allow caseworkers time and effort to better help children that should really be removed from their homes.  Having worked with these children for years and seeing the fear, dispair and hopelessness in their faces, I believe that removing a child from their parents is a hurt We will never be able to repair.  Just throwing this out there.  What do you think.

 
May 25, 2009, 8:03 am CDT

foster care

I am a foster parent and the system is truly does not work. I have learned more about the system in the past 9 months then I needed to know. Most of the social workers have a job on getting the children back with their parents. The judge is another issue.! We will not go there right now. The people appointed by the courts to help these children either do or do not. Some social workers even feel that this program has no power to change things. The only ones who see, hear and live the good, bad and the ugly with the foster children is the foster parent and we ARE NOT HEARD most of the time. It is a job. A job to love, support, encourage, protect them and grow with the children as long as they are with us.  That is our job. It is not the same as the social worker and some let you know that. Being a foster parent I hope is a good thing for the children, but sometimes I wonder. When the children leave our home it is always with tears and sometimes doubt. It should not be this way. Being a foster parent is one of the hardest jobs. It is not a high paying job with the hours and time you put in. It is being a parent to children with many issues and then dealing with the birth parents.  It is a never ending story of life.
 
May 25, 2009, 8:11 am CDT

Caught in the system

I was so disheartened with the whole foster care episode. My mother was a foster parent. I am an only child, and I became the "big sister" to a lot of foster children who otherwise had none. By me having 4 young children of my own it made a less traumatic situation for them when they had to be taken from their homes and relocated. They had peers from "a different world" to talk to and interact with. My children would encourage them.  Even though some have left the system we still consider them a part of our family and have a relationship with them.  We thank God for the the techer that intervened and the advocate that made a difference. I praise God that the two young adults on your show did not become a "fatality statistic" to the system that we so often hear of in the news. But one thing grasp my heart as I sat and watched both of the young adults speak of their experiences. They were so empty, numb, and emotionless. They couldn't even celebrate with a smile when they we Blessed with the gifts from the different organization. No tears of joy or hugs. I am sure they appreciated it, but the bare utterance of the words "thank you" was all they said. The things that come natural from being nutured they couldn't manifest.  Even the young lady in speaking of her going around and telling her story to other youth still sound that she is full of hurt and pain. She still haven't had her breakthrough with her traumatic experiences. The foster childcare investigator on the message board enlightened us to the options of continuing education available and the housing that is available and we thank God for all that is done in an over burdened system, however what about the emotional and mental support. Just by seeing the two guest on the show this aspect of the foster care system is failing. Have steps been taken to help them deal with all the trauma that they went through. I'm not talking about a mental health visit that is part of a checklist. I'm speaking of endept counseling to help undo what has been done. We all know that professional counseling is expensive , but it is a small price to pay in contrast to the price we pay if even one fall into our prison system. Maybe getting the system itself more involved with faith-based orgaizations that will instill Biblical Principles that would give them a sound foundation towards forgiven what was done to them and who did it to them. CASA should be in every state.  Just to help our children. So that they can just smile again. Even celebrate in the smaller things! God  Bless you Dr. Phil and Mrs. Robin for all that you do!
 
May 25, 2009, 12:42 pm CDT

Thanks

Dr. Phil,

 

Thank you for exposing this topic, I am a GAL who has represented hundreds of abused and neglected children, only two of which made the news. This topic needs to come to the attention of the public eye to ensure the safety and well being of these worthwhile but extremely needy members of our society. The agencies are overworked and underfunded, and no longer keep the child's best interest paramount. I hope you keep encouraging your viewers to get involved with this problem, whether it be through CASA, fostering, writing letters to legislature or just a simple donation to not for profit agencies who are dedicated to improve the lives of foster children.

 

Thanks, again.

 
May 25, 2009, 1:29 pm CDT

Fighting for Children

Here in Indiana we are fighting to keep the Indiana Soldiers' and Sailors' Children's Home open. Having lived in this Home for five years as a child (more than 30 years ago), I can tell you it is a wonderful place for children who need a loving, stable environment where they receive an education and many other opportunities as well. The State has determined that these kids can be better served in their communities and save money. This Home has been in existance for more than 140 years. All children living at the Home have a military connection. Most of the children do not want to leave the Home. Many parents do not want their children back and are the ones who placed their childen there in the first place. We could reduce the cost per child significantly by increasing enrollment. We have had 138 inquiries since the announcement in January, but are not allowed to accept any applications. The courts could have sent children to the Home, but are required to consider the most economical placement of a child. That placement is usually foster care. Department of Child Services says our model of care for children is no longer the trend and therefore no longer needed. We say one size does not fit all when caring for children at risk! The battle continues and we are hopeful that we will be allowed to continue to serve at risk youth for many years to come. Please pray for the children!

 
May 25, 2009, 1:49 pm CDT

Unfair representation of foster homes!

Dr. Phil,

 

I watched your show on the foster care system today and was disheartened at your representaiton of the system.  My mother was a foster care provider for over 25 years in New York. I grew up with numorous number of children in my home and gained alot of insight and overall strength from interacting and living with them. We eventually adopted one foster child and also raised another (who I currently have legal custody over).

 

I felt that your show categorized all foster caare providers as been greedy people who mistreat and abuse the children who are places in their homes.  Having grown up directly in the path of the foster care system, I too often grew fustrated at  how the system is flawed and doesnt always work as it should.  However, it would have been a more accurate representation to also have a foster care child who grew up in a wonderful foster care fammily (like my home) and the issues that this child still has to face as a foster child.  I believe that ALL foster children experience difficult situations because of their status in society.  They have feeling of being unwanted, unloved by their birth parents, and still yearn to be accepted by their birth families.

 

I was glad that your show did seek volunteers to work for CASA and help shed light to those foster parents who do abuse the system and abuse the children in their home.  However, I felt your show categorized foster care providers and evil, money hungry, and greedy individuals.  Yes, there are some families that the foster care system has allowed to continue to abuse the children in their homes, but there are thousands of foster care providers that are loving, caring providers like my family.  

 
First Page | Previous Page | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last