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Topic : 05/26 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 4

Number of Replies: 62
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, May 21, 2009, 06:00:17 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Moms and Dads: Do you feel like you’re at war with your children? Do you wish the screaming, yelling, nagging and bitter confrontations would just stop? It’s time to learn a new way of parenting. Dr. Phil continues his work with four frustrated families in The Dr. Phil House. You’ll recognize patterns in yourself and your children when watching these families. Learn how to make changes, take back control and live in peace! Dr. Phil talks with the parents about how to stop the momentum of their dysfunctional patterns and start putting their children’s interests ahead of their own. Tammie and Tiffiny both say they have resentment toward their children. Can they learn to let it go and parent with effectiveness? Janice admits she sends her 11-year-old son mixed signals by telling him to grow up but still treating him like her baby. Why does Dr. Phil say her situation is a ticking time bomb? And, the parents and kids sit down to write contracts to address their dreams and goals as a family. Watch how it’s done because you too can try this at home. Plus, see the big surprise Dr. Phil has for Laureen and her daughter, and don’t miss an update on these families since they returned home!

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 26, 2009, 5:48 pm CDT

05/26 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 4

Quote From: shelly_80

Okay, there has to be someone that knows Tammie and Davia personally.  Why hasn't anyone turned it in to CPS? There doesn't have to be physical markings on the child for CPS to do anything, does there? They've been on 4 episodes now and nothing has changed and Tammie has no intentions, either! Dr. Phil has all the proof on video, that the genius herself sent in.
Thank you for saying that!!! Where are the other people in this childs life?? Family---school--ANYONE??? CPS surely needs to be contacted!!!!!
 
May 26, 2009, 7:00 pm CDT

Davia

My heart just aches for this little girl.  I really do not think that the mother loves her.  I can not imagine getting mad at my daughter or son for wanting to give me a hug!!  Please Dr. Phil find her a home where she can be loved!
 
May 26, 2009, 7:27 pm CDT

05/26 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 4

Tammie is such a bad mother I would love to spend time with Davia I would love a have movie night with her.   Davia deserved so much better.  Dr Phil please help her
 
May 26, 2009, 7:38 pm CDT

CPS not an option in this case

Quote From: jaws54

Thank you for saying that!!! Where are the other people in this childs life?? Family---school--ANYONE??? CPS surely needs to be contacted!!!!!
I agree that Davia is being abused, but without physical bruises, CPS won't do anything. Emotional abuse doesn't count.  I've worked with many mothers who abused their children emotionally and I've talked with CPS and it just doesn't matter.  I know Dr. Phil is a staunch defender of CPS but I haven't had the best of experiences with CPS.
 
May 26, 2009, 7:44 pm CDT

I want Davia

I would take Davia in a heartbeat.  Her mom is worse than pathetic; she's a witch with a "b".  I have never had the blessing of having my own children, a desire that I always wanted but was never fulfilled.  I was blessed to marry a man with three daughters with whom I was privileged to help raise.  I love them and always have loved them like my own.  They are now grown with children of their own and I am "grandma". What a loser Davia's mom is. Admit you're a loser and give Davia to someone who will cherish her.  You are not worthy to be her mother.
 
May 26, 2009, 8:10 pm CDT

It doesn't make sense to me

Quote From: thadiva

       I am surprised that nobody in Davias family,grandparents,aunts,uncles have done nothing about the abuse this woman is doing to this child, you cannnot tell me they dont know what is going on? I have 2 kids of my own and I know as well as any parent they have thier days just as we have ours and nothing this woman has done thus far on national TV merits her the title of "MOTHER", she has deep seated mental issues going on and im shocked DrPhil has done nothing more either..Somebody who knows the family needs to report to Childrens Aid ( I know its called something different in the States sorry ) and have her removed or some serious counseling done..I feel sorry for Davia and even more sorry for Tammie for not being able to know the love and joy of having children, lets hope she never has any more !!
It too, shocks me that no one (e.g. friends or relatives) have noticed the resentment for Davia and partiality toward her other two kids.  Tammie isn't one that hides her feelings very well, especially where Davia is concerned.  I would think she would eventually "slip up"  in front of witnesses, if you know what I mean.  Somebody needs to step up and save that girl!
 
May 26, 2009, 8:24 pm CDT

Davia and Tammie

Again it broke my heart to watch this sweet young lady trying to get her mom to spend time with her and her mom copping out, admitting up front that she was afraid things would go back to the way they were before the Dr. Phil show. I was appalled as Tammie started negotiating "movie night" and a "Mom and Daughter night out," agreeing only to the basic "helping with homework." Girls need guidance from their mothers. What they learn at home stays with them their entire lives and ends up spilling into other lives. Then at the end, hearing that this mother became so wickedly angry with her daught that she wouldn't even speak to her for 3 days---I don't care what the daughter did. The mother is acting like she is the one who is 10 or 11.

Dr. Phil, please get some help for Davia. None of the audience wants to see any further harm come to this young girl in these young years of her life. We all want to see her have the love and attention she deserves. If her mom cannot treat her with love and respect, she needs to have her child relinquished to someone who will.

 
May 26, 2009, 8:30 pm CDT

05/26 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 4

Quote From: max113053

I agree that Davia is being abused, but without physical bruises, CPS won't do anything. Emotional abuse doesn't count.  I've worked with many mothers who abused their children emotionally and I've talked with CPS and it just doesn't matter.  I know Dr. Phil is a staunch defender of CPS but I haven't had the best of experiences with CPS.
I think you and I are on the same side as far as Davia's well being goes, but somebody needs to start looking for loopholes for her.  There's got to be a way to get her away from that MONSTER!  I wish so badly I knew who to talk to.  Not that it's my right to know or that I'll ever find out, but I'm sitting here wondering where they call "home?"  Once this message board fades into the past, where does that leave Davia?  I'm so concerned!
 
May 26, 2009, 8:57 pm CDT

Save Davia

I just feel for this poor child. Her mother needs serious help. I just wanted to scream...."Dont let them leave". Davia will have bad self esteem issues later in life. That mother just needs help. I dont know what else to say.

Describing your daughter as "clingy"...are you serious lady??

 
May 26, 2009, 9:13 pm CDT

Dear Davia

Dear Davia,
I am a mother of one son. I would love to have daughter like you. You are not clingy or troubled or selfish or any of the things your poor mom has called you. Your mother is suffering from some kind of past damage, or she has a mental illness to overcome. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you and want to be a better parent, but it's really important that you understand, this is her illness, not your defect. I see in you a very normal, bright, warm child, who simply shuts down and manages the best you can when you are bullied and attacked. I hope you have a grandmother, or a cousin, or a teacher, or someone close to you -- someone you believe in, who can tell you that having "hope" is an act of love, being forgiving and wishing for affection and tenderness makes you sensitive and special. And, while I'm sure you are are not perfect and do not float with a halo and wings (no one is perfect), you have beautiful, lovable qualities. And I hope your mom can get some very serious help, and learn to give back the compassion you have for her. Hang in there. You are worthy of hugs and mother/daughter days, and movie nights - and you're even entitled to be selfish and child-like and wrong sometimes -- it's called, a normal childhood. Much love and prayers to you. I suspect that one day you will make a very good mother. My mother learned what kind of relationship she did NOT want to have from her mother (who also meant well, and struggled but could not give my mother unconditional love and approval). My mother in turn, grew up, and took me with her every Saturday to the hair salon, to lunch, shopping for clothes, to a play, an art gallery --she created the kind of mother daughter relationship she wished she had. AND YOU WILL DO THAT TOO, one day. All things are possible. Be well and know that God loves you - and your mother. Jennifer
 
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