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Topic : 05/26 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 4

Number of Replies: 62
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, May 21, 2009, 06:00:17 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Moms and Dads: Do you feel like you’re at war with your children? Do you wish the screaming, yelling, nagging and bitter confrontations would just stop? It’s time to learn a new way of parenting. Dr. Phil continues his work with four frustrated families in The Dr. Phil House. You’ll recognize patterns in yourself and your children when watching these families. Learn how to make changes, take back control and live in peace! Dr. Phil talks with the parents about how to stop the momentum of their dysfunctional patterns and start putting their children’s interests ahead of their own. Tammie and Tiffiny both say they have resentment toward their children. Can they learn to let it go and parent with effectiveness? Janice admits she sends her 11-year-old son mixed signals by telling him to grow up but still treating him like her baby. Why does Dr. Phil say her situation is a ticking time bomb? And, the parents and kids sit down to write contracts to address their dreams and goals as a family. Watch how it’s done because you too can try this at home. Plus, see the big surprise Dr. Phil has for Laureen and her daughter, and don’t miss an update on these families since they returned home!

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 27, 2009, 10:29 am CDT

I'm afraid the ball is about to be dropped

Some viewers have raised questions about whether the Dr. Phil show reported Jim and Karen to the authorities after the taping of this show. Other viewers have expressed surprise that Karen and Jim's children were allowed to go home with them after the show.

Please be assured that immediately following the taping of "A Mother's Rage," the Dr. Phil show did make a report to local child protection authorities. As a mental health professional, Dr. Phil is required by law to make such a report if he has concerns about the safety, welfare or well being of a child. However, Dr. Phil does not himself have the authority to remove children from their parents' home.

Remember that a lot happens after the taping of a show that TV viewers never get to see.  Dr. Phil's staff draws on a vast network of experts and mental health professionals to help Dr. Phil guests. Karen's family is just one of many to have received this assistance.

 

You guys are going to get so sick of me if you haven't already.  HA HA! Does anyone remember Karen, the mother who verbally abused and brutally beat her oldest son and daughter? I just noticed, typed in red it states that Dr. Phil is required to report this behavior to CPS and he did so, immediately following the show, "A Mother's Rage."  Why hasn't this been posted on the "How to Be a Better Parent Series" (with Tammie in  mind?)  Even if there is the slightest inkling of ANY KIND of abuse, the authorities need to be notified.  I am confident that millions of you agree with me.

 

 

 
May 27, 2009, 10:33 am CDT

Davia I have an extra bedroom for you!

Wow~ I can't believe that Tammie is so self centered and MEAN!  I would take Davia into my home in a heartbeat & treat her as my own in a second without pause. Tammie  pauses on the thought  of giving her own daughter a hug! She litterally shot down every idea Davia had, that had anything to do with spending time with her mother. Davia was even willing to do something like homework with her mom just to be able to spend some time and she just can't make the time. How unfortunate. I can only imagine that if she is this woman's verbal punching bag how she is feeling.

Davia is a beautiful, smart, articulate, talented& fun, young girl. I hope that she sees it before her mother sucks every bit of confidence out of her. Hopefully there will be an intervention before her mom breaks her down & pushes her into certain social groups of  or boys  who will show her love & attention that will could seriously harm her. I will pray for Davia every day, I will pray that she will get out of the enviroment  that she is in and into a loving home where she will be the shining star that she is.

I would do everything in my power to protect my 3 daughters and never in a million years shatter them. I could not imagine how a mother could possibly discard a little girl. FYI TAMMIE::: Davie looks like you!! Enough of the excuses own up and admit YOU are the problem! Grow up and stop throwing tantrums!

Sorry for the rambling I just watched it on Tivo and am FURIOUS at that woman.

DR PHIL, be the advocate that you say you are for kids and get that girl somewhere safe. Don't let this little girl internalize this and do something rash to herself that she will not ever be able to take back.

 
May 27, 2009, 12:02 pm CDT

05/26 How to be a Better Parent, Part 4 Davia

Quote From: jaws54

Thank you for saying that!!! Where are the other people in this childs life?? Family---school--ANYONE??? CPS surely needs to be contacted!!!!!

 

 

Don't be so sure it hasn't been reported to CPS, by more than one person as a matter of fact.  The community DOES care.  Once reported, our hands are tied until given further instructions.  Welcome to the cracks and loopholes in our great American system (to be fair, they are doing the best they can considering limited resources and manpower, overworked and underappreciated staff, a thankless job).  Until then, better to offer loving thoughts and prayers...for BOTH of them...it's more productive than spewing anger, even if I do believe the anger is justified. 

 
May 27, 2009, 2:09 pm CDT

Has it or hasn't been reported? That's the million dollar question.

Quote From: caringcitizen

 

 

Don't be so sure it hasn't been reported to CPS, by more than one person as a matter of fact.  The community DOES care.  Once reported, our hands are tied until given further instructions.  Welcome to the cracks and loopholes in our great American system (to be fair, they are doing the best they can considering limited resources and manpower, overworked and underappreciated staff, a thankless job).  Until then, better to offer loving thoughts and prayers...for BOTH of them...it's more productive than spewing anger, even if I do believe the anger is justified. 

With all due respect, there hasn't been any eveidence leading the viewers to believe that CPS has been contacted.  Usually Dr. Phil will mention it on his message boards or on the show itself, but so far he hasn't. 

 

Don't take this personally, it isn't meant to attack you.  But I am so sick of kids like Davia falling through the cracks because someone has to "wait for further instruction!"  Why do we even call it "justice" system?    I sincerely apologize if I sound rude or direct, I just get frustrated when the system doesn't protect defensless children.   

 
May 27, 2009, 2:18 pm CDT

05/26 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 4

Quote From: gbutto

I have never signed up, much less written into a message board before; however, when the welfare of a child is at stake, how can I not. Dr. Phil states that he is a mandatory reporter; however, since he has given up his license to practice, this is not exactly true. He DOES have a RESPONSIBILITY to contact CPS when he believes that abuse has occurred and especially if he reasonably believes that it will continue. He not only recognized the abuse and called the mother on it, he has the documented abuse on film. I am not a professional therapist and even I could see from the footage that Tammy was no where near ready to leave the Dr. Phil house. Even she knew that she was not ready to do what was necessary for her daughter. The only positive that I saw in regards to this family is that Tammy was willing to be honest in her update to Dr. Phil, letting him know that the abuse of her daughter continues. DR. PHIL, IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CALL CPS! If I knew where this family lived, I would make the call myself. Maybe someone from her school or community who recognizes Davia would be brave enough to make the call to CPS for her. The call could be done anonymously and could be referred to the show, transcripts, and message boards. DR. PHIL IF YOU DON'T GET THIS CHILD IMMEDIATE PROTECTION, SOME ELSE SHOULD!!!!
I wish I knew where they live, as well.  I would make that call to CPS in a heartbeat!   And I might have to struggle to provide for but I'd adopt Davia, too.  She has such an angelic look about her.  I bet she gets it from HER DAD!
 
May 27, 2009, 6:36 pm CDT

Biological father

Quote From: shelly_80

Just as I suspected, Tammie is still the pig-headed witch she was in part 1.  If I'm not mistaken, I think it was part 3 that Tammie took Davia into the timeout room to texplain to Davia that none of it was her fault and Tammie needed to change hersself.  I wanted to believe she was sincere but now I know it was just for show.  She's trying  to convince everyone that she's "trying," but all I see is her going-through-the-motions.  

 

The more I watch, the madder I get!  When "Mommy Dearest" and Davia where wrinting their contracts, it is so plain to see Davia is starving for just the smallest amount of attention from that ridiculous excuse for a mother, a human for that matter.  Davia couldn't even get her to agree to "sometimes."  It's sad when a child has to walk on eggshells just to get attention and affection from her mother.  It's even more pathetic on the mother's part!   

 

Back to the contracts, Davia couldn't get her mom to agree to any of her requests.  Is Tammie that much of a coward that she would have to ask her daughter if they could "leave that one out?"  I don't think it's that she doesn't love Davia, it's that she's afraid she might actually start loving the child to whom she gave birth.  She despises her because "that man" is Davia's father, but that isn't Davia's fault.  Like I've said before, Davia didn't ask to be conceived; that was a decision Tammie and Davia's dad made that fateful night.  I've never seen someone quite like Tammie!  She was so close to Davia reqest for getting help with homework, then she quickly realized what she'd don't and said,  "Oh. I've got to work ."  She is using work as her excuse to be away from Davia.  Dr. Phil you better hold Tammie's feet to fire.  She's being let off too easy and I'm fed up with this woman!  She needs to WOMAN UP! 

I ALMOST understand where Tammie is coming from.  She's made a few comments about Davias biological father and I think thats what her problem is.  I have a 4 year old (Jasmine) and I cannot stand her father (Chad) and jasmine....the older she gets the more she looks like chad  BUT  is it Jasmines fault that she looks like him? is it jasmine's fault that I chose to sleep with a loser? NO!!!  I love Jasmine so much and no matter how much I can't stand Chad i would never take it out on Jasmine. jasmine is a precious little girl and so is Davia and Tammie needs to get the f over her issues with "that man" and love davia for who she is.  If she is incapable of loving her daughter then she needs to be sent to somebody that can love her.....grandparents, aunts.....?  Surely there is somebody else Davia can live with.
 
May 27, 2009, 8:51 pm CDT

05/26 How to Be a Better Parent, Part 4

Quote From: dynym021

I ALMOST understand where Tammie is coming from.  She's made a few comments about Davias biological father and I think thats what her problem is.  I have a 4 year old (Jasmine) and I cannot stand her father (Chad) and jasmine....the older she gets the more she looks like chad  BUT  is it Jasmines fault that she looks like him? is it jasmine's fault that I chose to sleep with a loser? NO!!!  I love Jasmine so much and no matter how much I can't stand Chad i would never take it out on Jasmine. jasmine is a precious little girl and so is Davia and Tammie needs to get the f over her issues with "that man" and love davia for who she is.  If she is incapable of loving her daughter then she needs to be sent to somebody that can love her.....grandparents, aunts.....?  Surely there is somebody else Davia can live with.

You're so right!  Anyone has the right to fall out of love just as easy as the fell in love.  But what they don't have a right to do is take their hatred for their childs father out on the child.  People split up and get divorced all the time.  It happened to a friend of mine and she's now 5 months pregnant with her 3rd by her soon-to-be ex-hubby.  Ironically enough, my friends oldest daughter is almost 11 and she's carbon copy of her father.  My friend is like you, she resents her soon-to-be ex for what he did but she adores her kids.  I am so happy you don't lay the blame on Jasmine just because Chad is her father.  I bet she's an absolute angel. 

 

 

 
May 27, 2009, 10:20 pm CDT

divorce

Quote From: shelly_80

You're so right!  Anyone has the right to fall out of love just as easy as the fell in love.  But what they don't have a right to do is take their hatred for their childs father out on the child.  People split up and get divorced all the time.  It happened to a friend of mine and she's now 5 months pregnant with her 3rd by her soon-to-be ex-hubby.  Ironically enough, my friends oldest daughter is almost 11 and she's carbon copy of her father.  My friend is like you, she resents her soon-to-be ex for what he did but she adores her kids.  I am so happy you don't lay the blame on Jasmine just because Chad is her father.  I bet she's an absolute angel. 

 

 

Well, I hope your friend makes it through these hard times ok.  Being a single mom can be hard.  Yeah Jasmines a sweetheart.....that's another thing I don't understand....if a child's father is really that horrible wouldn't you want to give all of your love and affection to the child so that the child doesn't turn out to be like the father? Do you see what I'm saying? Oh, by the way I like that "I'm not perfect but parts of me are pretty awesome"  lol 
 
May 28, 2009, 7:12 am CDT

Get on it Dr. Phil

Quote From: lissie36

You don't deserve the title of "mother".  Please give this girl to someone that is ABLE to Love her. You obviously aren't capable of loving anyone other than yourself. You are pathetic.

Dr. Phil, please look out for Davia. Especially when the camera's go away
I think Dr. Phil knows that Tammy will never be a mother to this child. Tammy is one of those people that is so selfish that she will never grow up and care for her own child. She even admits it isn't who she is. This poor child says her mom is a great mom, but inside she knows that isn't the truth. She says that to get her mom's approval. She'll never get it and it will take her years to figure that out. I had a mom just like Tammy and now I hate her. She isn't in my life and she may as well be dead. Hopefully Davia will grow up and do like I did--write her mom out of her life. I really feel she is being abused and needs to be taken out of the home.

Dr. Phil... you can't turn your back on this girl. The mother isn't fixable--she just isn't.
 
May 28, 2009, 1:11 pm CDT

Davia Needs to be Protected!!!!

I watched these serious of shows and found myself SOOOOO angry with Tammie I am hard pressed to find words that describe the cruel and heartless person she is.  Davia needs protection!  I want to know why child protective services has not stepped in yet!  If you are mandated to report this what actions have been taken?  This is blatant abuse.  Given how Tammie acted on the video she recorded herself I shutter to think what would happen when no one is watching.  My blood boiled to hear the way she talked to this angel of a child.  "I will hug you everyday, even if it kills me."  " I have started to show her affection and now I think she is taking advantage"  To see how this child looked at her mother wanting only love and to be accepted and to be shut down again and again is just heart wrenching.  There are people in this world who would die to have a child to hold and to love and Tammie pushes her aside like unwanted garbage because she looks like her father.  I am sure I am only one of many mothers out there who were horrified with this show.  Please Dr. Phil, this child needs help!  I just cannot even understand why she was allowed to go home with her mother. I just don't know how you could have let this go without protecting her.
 
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