Topic : 08/10 OCD Nightmares

My 4 yr old grandson lives in a pigstyle.  His mother is OCD and hoards to a degree of squalor that someone on an OCD forum defined as 3rd degree.  This is the stage where in addition to the house being totally full of useless garbage an no access to any horizontal surface, the floors are impossible to clean,  there is also rotting food and perhaps wose, there is an overpowering stench of cat feeces and urine.   With the total clutter, the cats become disoriented and go behind boxes, etc.  (In case anyone is interested, the 4th stage includes human feeces in the living area)  

Currently, she has been warned twice by her landlord of possible eviction. With eviction nearing, she plans to move into a trailer which I believe is being provided by some charity.   I have spoken to the landlord and he will provide information to the courts if requested. 

My son is separated from her and has joint temporary custody.   He lives with us, so for at least part of the time, the little guy gets to see what a clean envirormnent is like.  

This situation is not new.  In 7 yrs of marraige to her, every household they lived in joints was similar to the one she lives in now by herself.   Countless arguments generally ended with her threatening to take the boy and leave him.  Admittedly, he doesn't have much of a backbone. A prior marraige with previous children (now on their own) and documented divorce papers cite similar circumstance for many years.   For years the former husband fought her for custody, but lost a battle to diabetes, giving her a free reign and SS survivor income.  With one child still a minor, she uses this money to pay her own rent.   This is where she went following separation from my son. 

My problem is with the Michigan Child Protective Services.  There is a history (I have no proof)  that there have been numerous referals to protective services for much the same reasons.  Most recent intervention with CPS yieled that there was "no danger to the child".   I find this hard to believe, but they would provide my son no other information. 

There are other issues relative to her mental state including a reference to a diagnosis of Munchuesen's by proxy.  Again, all I have is a reference from a previous divorce document including a letter from a long time friend and councelor who indicated the diagnosis.  This long time associate also referenced multiple referals to CPS, including her own.  While my grandson appears clean and healthy, he uses way too many medical terms for a 4 yr old.  She also takes him to the doctor at the drop of a hat and had insisted (may still do) that he is lactose intolerant.  This dispite the fact that macaronni and chees is the main staple she provides him. 

Somehow, through multiple inspections, she manages to fool CPS or manage to make it marginally clean to "pass".    I cannot even get anyone at CPS to discuss the situation with me.  His lawyer will probably bring all this up in a motion for custody, but I worry about him in the meantime.   I wish there was someway to publicly show the conditions she is subjecting my grandson to. 

If anyone has any suggestions, please don't be shy. 

I live in Michigan too. 

May I ask what county you live in? 

I don't have any answers now, only suggestions. Document EVERYTHING.  

Everytime you try and call CPS to get answers. document who you talk to and what is said. Have you been able to ask the person who went to the home any questions? I think  your son should be allowed certain information. Not sure if you would be but he for sure should be able to get some kind of answers.  

As far as the munchuesen syndrome, that is another case where you may have to have your son get medical records of everytime your son was taken to the hospital and what for. That should be easy to do if you know where she takes him. And again keep documents. If he tells you anything, like he didn't feel good and she took him to the doctor make sure you document what he says regarding that. 

Hopefully your attorney will be able to get you some of the these answers that you are looking for.  

Can thr landlord go into the home and take pictures for you? I mean he has talked about evictiung her maybe he would be willing to get you some photos to show what kind of condition the home is in. 

I will think of some other things that may or may not help. 

Good luck, 

Tammy 

I just found out about this episode from a friend of mine, I did not watch it. Is there a way I could see it either on this site or somewhere else?

My 10 year old son has OCD and Anxiety Disorder. The Neurologist also suspects mild Autism and possible Tourette's Syndrome. We are getting a Neuro-Psych Eval. within the next month. My son has a big fear of germs, and it has gotten to the point where we have a hard time going anywhere. He is too scared to go anywhere and has meltdowns quite a bit. He is even scared of family member's germs.

We have tried herbal remedies and therapy, and so far nothing has worked. We now have him on Prozac, which helps take the edge off a little, but not much. But he is on a very low dosage right now. He is seeing a Pscyhiatrist for the first time next week, and then the Neuro-Psychologist the next day.

I was just wondering if any of u have found a way to help a child overcome their fear? I have been really depressed and frustrated because I don't know what to do! This has been going for awhile now, and I just want him to get better! I am praying that the Psychiatrist and Neuro-Psychologist will be able to give us some answers and help. I just want my son to be able to function in life.

Thanks!
Jenn