Dr. Phil.com - Messageboards - 08/10 OCD Nightmares

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
chillin'

August 10, 2005, 6:18 pm PDT

DO I HAVE IT?

I watched the show today and was saddened to watch an 18 year old suffer the way Liz has. I have been in the medical field since I was 16. I'm 26 now. Before watching the show today I would think that I was what they would probably call a borderline OCD. Now I'm not so sure. Can anyone out there please help me and tell me if I have it or if I'm just anal retentive. Here is my story.

I'm a mother of 3. I have been married to my high schol sweetheart for 6 years now. Our eldest child will be 7 at the end of this month. Ever since I have been married and had kids I am constantly walking around my house picking things up. I am constantly cleaning up things. Even if I just wiped the counter down and there is nothing on it I will still wipe it. My husband was not aloud to clean the dishes because he could not put them in the strainer the correct way, he wasn't aloud to fold clothes because in my eyes he could not fold them the correct way. If he tried and did it wrong I would like flip out. These 2 main issues have caused alot of issues in my marriage and thankfully I have a husband who is very understanding. But down the road who knows how long he can deal with my childish or anal retentive actions.

Is this really OCD or somewhat or am I just being childish?

Confused and Concerned in Ohio

Read Replies to this Message

there4youu

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote
chillin'

August 10, 2005, 7:01 pm PDT

replying

Quote From: patti524

My 18 yr old daughter has OCD so I know how awful it can be. My 2 daughters and I all have anxiety related disorders, but my 18 yr old has OCD, social anxiety and panic disorder. She is a perfectionist and the disorders can literally make her think she is going crazy...and the ocd takes hold of that thought and makes her more anxious...and so on. She was unable to graduate high school because of her disorders. She is on medication but it only helps to a point. She was part of a study at the University of Pennsylvania, but that was only helpful to a point as well. Her disorders disable her, though most people don't believe that. Anyone that doesn't know her would think she is perfectly fine, as she can hide her discomfort from anyone for a short period of time. Her father doesn't have a clue! He is in that group that believes that anxiety is not such a big deal. Unfortunately so is the school. They fought us every step of the way and my daughter left without graduating and now is trying to get her GED. She is very bright, that has never been the problem, it's being able to get to the testing or sit in the room full of people...or convince herself that she is as capable as she is... I'm sure alot of people understand how the OCD mind works. It is so hard to find anyone that can help with treatment or even medications. Insurance doesn't cooperate, and in South Jersey there aren't alot of doctors that seem to specialize in anxiety disorders. If they do? You have to have money to see them. I don't have that luxury! It has made it very difficult. I would love for my daughter to talk to some other young people who know how she feels. She wouldn't be able to handle "a group" at this time, but maybe email??? Anyone have any ideas they'd like to share? I'm always open to some fresh ideas.

Well I think you might have read my story and im 21 years of age and I would have no problem at all talking with your daughter about it. Untill todays show I have not told anyone about the extent of whats going on. Im a nice person and I love my babies and I know what its like to be alone. So If you want to I will check this site often and if you want leave me your e-mail or something at first that would be awsome!

Hope to hear from you and God Bless!!

Thank you

Read Replies to this Message

scrappydoo

User Mood
Weird

Message Emote

August 10, 2005, 7:10 pm PDT

Fear that my child will have the disorder or a form of it ,

Watching the show made me a little more relieved that I am not the only one out there, but when Amy came on and was talking about the fear that she gave this to her 3 year old the fear I live with every day became more real. I have a son who is going to be 2 in october and I worry every day that he will be like me and it scares me. I don't want him to grow up this way and I want to make sure that he gets all the help he needs, the help I didn't get til just recently. I have been trying to get him help, but I keep being told that this is normal toddler behavior. I worry constantly, and fear that he may hurt himself or others. He takes part in some self injurous behavior and is extremely tolerant to pain. He does not like when things are not in the right place or if something falls it needs to be fixed. Also if one piece of food falls it all has to. I asked my state infants and toddlers program to evaluate him and the problem being that he was well above average that he couldn't receive services. I am a full time teacher and fear what may happen if I can't help him. I try my best to figure out his needs before tantrums set in, but with my own OCD sometimes I just can't cope and feel like a horrible mother.

Read Replies to this Message

scrappydoo

User Mood
Weird

Message Emote
hopeful

August 10, 2005, 7:28 pm PDT

I understand

Quote From: patti524

My 18 yr old daughter has OCD so I know how awful it can be. My 2 daughters and I all have anxiety related disorders, but my 18 yr old has OCD, social anxiety and panic disorder. She is a perfectionist and the disorders can literally make her think she is going crazy...and the ocd takes hold of that thought and makes her more anxious...and so on. She was unable to graduate high school because of her disorders. She is on medication but it only helps to a point. She was part of a study at the University of Pennsylvania, but that was only helpful to a point as well. Her disorders disable her, though most people don't believe that. Anyone that doesn't know her would think she is perfectly fine, as she can hide her discomfort from anyone for a short period of time. Her father doesn't have a clue! He is in that group that believes that anxiety is not such a big deal. Unfortunately so is the school. They fought us every step of the way and my daughter left without graduating and now is trying to get her GED. She is very bright, that has never been the problem, it's being able to get to the testing or sit in the room full of people...or convince herself that she is as capable as she is... I'm sure alot of people understand how the OCD mind works. It is so hard to find anyone that can help with treatment or even medications. Insurance doesn't cooperate, and in South Jersey there aren't alot of doctors that seem to specialize in anxiety disorders. If they do? You have to have money to see them. I don't have that luxury! It has made it very difficult. I would love for my daughter to talk to some other young people who know how she feels. She wouldn't be able to handle "a group" at this time, but maybe email??? Anyone have any ideas they'd like to share? I'm always open to some fresh ideas.

I have just recently found out that I was OCD about a year and 1/2 ago. Growing up I thought I was just different and tried to hide who I was because I would get made fun of for the things I did. Nobody suspects that I have the disorder and when I tell them they are shocked. I give your daughter a lot of courage to get her GED, I see people every day look at others especially those with OCD and think we should just get over it. It is true that the OCD mind works totally different from any other and even between us who have it. Getting people to understand is so difficult. I just recently started treatment this past novemeber, and have finally got on a medication that seems to help. It takes a lot of understanding from our loved ones to even understand what we go through in a day. The time that is consumed by our daily thoughts and routines can seem endless it is truely hard to balance everything.

As for her education, I am a school teacher and see many kids appear to be developing in ways that others do not recognize the students differences. Maybe online courses will help your daughter, that way she can be in the privacy of her own home and just be interacting with the computer not as much other individuals, the rituals and routines she keeps will be hers. I wouldn't mind talking with your daughter through email, I am always looking to help others in any way I can.

Read Replies to this Message

robin_l

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote

August 11, 2005, 8:07 am PDT

08/10 OCD Nightmares

I am 45 years old and have had OCD for about 37 years ( since about age 8 ) When it first started I knew something was not right. Other kids didn't do strange things. Back then there was no name, no information and no treatment for this disorder. I am sure my family thought it was just a "stage" and that I would outgrow it. It caused a lot of stress for me because I knew I was different. As a child I counted everything from crayons to how many kernals of corn I could eat, how many steps I took, how many times I would touch an object. sometimes I would have to go back and touch it again with the other hand again to make things "even". Homework could be a nightmare because if it didn't look neat enough or didn't feel "just right" I would start over...and over and over until it either looked like I thought it should or I was too exhausted to try again. Teen years were rough, I decided that I was just crazy and that I needed to hide it. I was too imbarrased and too ashamed to talk to my family about it. I would check doors and windows to make sure they were locked, then I would think "maybe I accidently unlocked them the last check" and I knew that if I did and someone got in and hurt my family I would feel responsible so I would check again because I knew I could not live with the guilt if someone was hurt. Even though I knew this thinking was not logical I still could not stop. When my son's were babies I would wake up in the middle of the night to make sure they were breathing. I would unplug the coffee pot and toaster at night because I feared a fire. I am not sure why I would unplug the coffee pot and toaster but not the television and other appliances but thats that way it was. Somethimes when I touch an object in passing I would then have to touch it with ther other hand also...to make it "even". I have gotten a little better over the years but still have all my compulsions and obsessions, Just very good at hiding them. I also suffer from depression for the past several years, Maybe the depression has been there a lot longer then I really know...I guess I just got used to it as being part of my like. I am also a worrier...I worry about anything and everything. I also have high anxiety. I used to take medication but stopped....I am now back on meds and know I really need to be. I know there is no cure, management of the disorder is the key. I have a sister that has Tourettes and a few of my sibling that have signs of both...OCD and Tourettes. I worry about my 4 sons and pray that they will not inherit these disorders.

Robin_L

Read Replies to this Message

emaleea

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

August 11, 2005, 11:07 am PDT

Liz please try meds

I watched this episode when it first aired and I think of it often. I wish that I could reach out and convince Liz to try medication because it truly works!!! I had a bout with obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety and panic three years ago. I refused to try medication (SSRI's) for 6 months and tried desperately to solve the issues myself. I have training in counseling and a lot of education in anxiety disorders, and I knew everything there was to know about behavior modification in dealing with anxiety disorders. I tried desperately to fix my own and I sought couseling, but refused medication. After I hit rock bottom I knew that I needed help and sought two Dr.'s opinions in the matter. Both doctors recommended Celexa (SSRI) and I began taking it. Within two -three weeks I began to feel so much better. I continued to work on cognitive behavioral therapy for over a year, and was able to do this so much more effectively while on medication. I have been off of all medication for a year and a half, and I still work hard to conquer OCD thoughts from time to time, but life is manageable. The anxiety that accompanies OCD never totally leaves because anxiety is a part of who we are. All humans have anxiety from time to time, but people with OCD become fearful of anxiety. Through medication and congnitive behavioral therapy you can learn to live with anxiety and accept it from time to time. As for your thoughts on God helping to cure your OCD, he has provided a way to help you manage OCD and that is through medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. God has allowed people to invent medication to help people like us. If you haven't tried medication yet, please try it!!!! I think of you often and truly hope the best for you.

Read Replies to this Message

patti524

User Mood
Worried

Message Emote

August 11, 2005, 2:42 pm PDT

Thank you!!!

Quote From: scrappydoo

I have just recently found out that I was OCD about a year and 1/2 ago. Growing up I thought I was just different and tried to hide who I was because I would get made fun of for the things I did. Nobody suspects that I have the disorder and when I tell them they are shocked. I give your daughter a lot of courage to get her GED, I see people every day look at others especially those with OCD and think we should just get over it. It is true that the OCD mind works totally different from any other and even between us who have it. Getting people to understand is so difficult. I just recently started treatment this past novemeber, and have finally got on a medication that seems to help. It takes a lot of understanding from our loved ones to even understand what we go through in a day. The time that is consumed by our daily thoughts and routines can seem endless it is truely hard to balance everything.

As for her education, I am a school teacher and see many kids appear to be developing in ways that others do not recognize the students differences. Maybe online courses will help your daughter, that way she can be in the privacy of her own home and just be interacting with the computer not as much other individuals, the rituals and routines she keeps will be hers. I wouldn't mind talking with your daughter through email, I am always looking to help others in any way I can.

I thank you for your reply. I will write later and give you an email address so you can maybe encourage my daughter a little. I'd really appreciate it because she feels really bad about herself alot of the time.

Read Replies to this Message

cobra7

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

August 11, 2005, 5:03 pm PDT

my sons ocd

when my son was 13,his best friend died during a sleepover. It turned out to be a genetic heart problem but it triggered ocd. The thought that a healthy boy fell asleep and never woke up has caused years of anxiety. My son was on at least 6 or more medications and finally his summer year before being a high school senior, he went off all meds,he felt the medication made him feel spacy and was creating a social anxiety. It was a very difficult time, I bought him the book BRAIN LOCK where you learn to help yourself. It took him a long time to read it because it was scary to delve into the material. However he persisted and just graduated this past June with his high school class. It is a miracle that he made it through school. He used to count in his head,wash his hands all the time,as soon as he would conquer one obsession or compulsion another one would rear its ugly head. He lost alot of his friends during these difficult years. We tried every kind of therapy out there. Right now he and four of his friends are in Mrytle Beach for a last fling before college.We feel so lucky. He said it is probably always going to be a struggle, but he seems more empowered by what he can control within himself now. There are no easy answers, but try the book BRAIN LOCK. It might help. Everyone is different though.

Read Replies to this Message

whttyger45

Message Emote
anxious

September 3, 2005, 1:02 pm PDT

OCD/Major Depression

I met my wife almost seven years ago, we have weathered both the good and the bad. I was this fella that could take on the world and help it or fix it in some way, and for the most part I had some success. What I did not understand and knowone educated me on was the seriousness of my wifes illnesss. She has OCD/M> Depression, Boarderline tendancies, Bi-Polar, Schizo-typical. The easy to explain this is a part of her never grew up and may never will. She suffers from a wide range of things and they are not always the same. By the time doctor seemingly gets this episode figured out, the illness has moved on and it has changed itself to compensate for new drugs, and beguins cause all sorts of problems in the present. Her doctor is always one step behind the illness and the way I see it, looks like the illness will win the race. Once upon a time I could hold a job but not anylonger. "My friends" was to take advantage of her condition and seems like there is nothing I can do while at work. Boy when I got home things changed.....got some boys plum scared of me! Since then we moved and held our relationship together complete with 2 kids...Slowly I nudge her toward recovery......using meds and a combination Cognitative behavior therapy...One day we may all lead a normal life!

Read Replies to this Message

detroitmum

User Mood
Depressed

Message Emote

October 11, 2005, 8:04 am PDT

HELP my husand has OCD

My husband must have OCD, and I"m not sure if he even knows it.

I'm starting to loose my mind over it. He is not consistant in his ways, it is so hard to keep up with and compete with that I'm get so frustrated with it.

His germ fears, clean fetishes, people with pets, seems like EVERYTHING. He'll even use Lysol wipes for his hands, not like the rest of us who use hand santitizer.

I'm worried it will effect my daughter and soon to be born child.

I just can't keep up with it anymore!

Read Replies to this Message