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Topic : 07/06 A Teen's Pregnancy

Number of Replies: 160
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Created on : Wednesday, July 01, 2009, 05:14:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Imagine your 15-year-old daughter announces that she's pregnant. As a parent, you would have to make tough decisions. This is the reality for Dale and Kelly. Dale says they had the all-American family until their teenaged daughter, Brittney, revealed she was pregnant. How did this honor roll student and star soccer player end up in this predicament? Dr. Phil sits down with the teen and asks her some hard questions. Is she confronting reality or living in her own world? Brittney has not decided if her future involves her being a parent. What do her parents hope she chooses? Dr. Lisa Masterson, OB/GYN and co-host of The Doctors, meets with Brittney and three other young women who found themselves in similar situations as teens. Will their stories help the mom-to-be make one of the biggest decisions of her life? And, Brittney and her mom accompany Jody as she travels across the country to pick up her adopted child. Emotions escalate and Brittney ends up in tears. Follow the drama as this family struggles through this tense time that will dramatically change the course of their lives. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 6, 2009, 9:06 am CDT

tough decisions

I was pregnant at 15, gave birth at 16. I thought this would bring something good to my life, so much was missing. I was totally clueless as to what to expect with a baby. I remember when I was in the hospital after he was born, the reality hit me right away. The first time they brought him to me to hold, I was watching the tv show Bewitched. I looked down at that crying, redfaced infant and wished I could wiggle my nose like the witch on tv and make him go away. I would see all the happy parents together looking in the nursery window and just turn away and go back to my room alone. Needless to say, I didn't have the support this girl has. I wish I could say this story has a happy ending, but it doesn't.  I was in no way ready to be a mother, nor did I know how to start. It didn't "come naturally" as some might say. The baby ended up being tossed around between different grandparents, myself and the father. His life has been very difficult and now as a man he definitely shows the damage that was done by not having a healthy, stable environment at a young age. It is very difficult for me to tell this story, I know people will think what a terrible, irresponsible girl I was, and they will be right to a certain extent. Sometimes we follow in our parents mistakes; my mother got pregnant with me at 14 and was unable to care for me. I was adopted by my paternal grandparents. I always caution young girls who are wanting a baby that it isn't all cute clothes and cuddly baby wrapped in a pretty blanket. It's long, hard days and nights. I loved my baby very much but that wasn't enough to make everything right. I wish I had been counseled on other options.
 
July 6, 2009, 10:14 am CDT

Frustrated with the parents

I think Brittany's parents are only interested in what they want and how they feel. They do care about their daughter, but they are only escalating the situation. I was 17 when I had my daughter, my parents were 100% supportive and I still did everything for that baby.that same daughter is now 13. I am SCARED TO DEATH of her getting pregnant, but if it did happen I would be supportive and we would come up with a plan together. It is possible to help her without enabling her.
I also think Brittany's parents are equating help with compliance or rewarding her behavior. Believe me, the hardship that comes with a child, should she keep it, will be punishment enough!
 
July 6, 2009, 11:20 am CDT

07/06 A Teen's Pregnancy

Quote From: milo44

This young girl needs a reality check big time....what a spoiled brat....and a selfish one too....
Glad I'm not the only one who sees what a selfish, spoiled rotten brat this gal is! Of course, she didn't get this way all by herself. It was her parents who spoiled her rotten. And, now they're reaping the consequences of their over-indulgence. As for them asking her if she was having sex, they shouldn't have believed her when she said she wasn't. If you have to ask  them if they're having sex, and they say they aren't, they're probably lying. As for her having the right to make her own decisions about abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby, it's because pregnancy makes a girl even that young an emancipated minor. So, not only are her parents not responsible for her child, I suspect they are no longer responsible for her  either, as an emancipated minor. I think Dr Phil is trying to make her realize, if she keeps her baby, her parents can "kick" them both out. And, he seems to be stressing adoption.
 
July 6, 2009, 11:26 am CDT

07/06 A Teen's Pregnancy

I am seventeen and a half and i anm now 12weeks and 6days pregnant.I didnt do it on purpose and i dont regret it one bit..some days i wish i had waited longer but things happen for a reason and god doesnt give u more then u can handle. Like i said we didnt do it on purpose.yes we were havin sex without a condom and no i wanst on birth control and no my mom didnt know i was sexual active. But me and my bf had had sex many of times without a condom and nuthin ever happened.And i can admit that at one time we was tryin to get pregnant and when we notcied it wasnt goin to happen we stopped tryin but no we werent using condoms. But we ddint do anything bout it and we do not regret anything that we did or didnt do..u can judge me all u want but there is some things that u dont know bout me.I do have money to raise my child and my bf the father of the baby is goin to help raise his baby as well,and we are very happy and cant wait till the baby is here.by then we will both be 18 and yes trust me we both will finish high skool no matter what happens..Its goin to be hard dont get me wrong but everything happens for a reason.my mom will help me through this and is very supportive and no she is not goin to raise my baby so if thats what u think u are wrong.she works first shift and i have to go to skool then to.we will figure it out and we have so many ppl that are willing to help me out with the baby bc they know how i feel about the baby and know that i want this baby and support me the whole way.And i couldnt ask for anything more,stp judging girls that get pregnant yung.every girl is different and each girls life is different so they will decide wat is goin to be best for them.INCLUDIN ME!
 
July 6, 2009, 11:31 am CDT

07/06 A Teen's Pregnancy

Quote From: missie2877

I am honestly very dissapointed in today's show. Many people watch Dr. Phil, and utilize the program as a guidepost for values, and decisions in regard to their parenting and life choices. I could not believe it today as I watched Dr.Phil absolutely chastize a young girl for what he and her parents percieved to be a "planned" pregnancy. Yet, the only thing that was ever said about the Father of this baby, is that "he does not want" her. Well, I hate to break it to you, but he also chose to have unprotected sex, not just Brittany alone. He also has partial responsibility in this, and I doubt anyone is waking him up in the middle of the night to tell him what a "spoiled brat" he is. I could not believe that Dr. Phil said nothing about the behavior of her parents in this issue, or that her Mother has "no idea who she is". As if that palyed no part at all in her daughters poor decision? The bottom line is, if we continue to blame the girls in these situations, yet place little or no responsibility on our young men, these situations will continue to occur at alarming rates. Pregnacy prevention is not only the responsibility of young, or grown women, and we must realize that it takes two to tango. Dr. Phil, please recognize that this is the year 2009, not 1955. Women are not the only ones who make irresponisble, uniformed decisions in regard to sex. That young man chose to have sex without a condom as well, and there can be no "decption" on her part when he was also involved in that decision. As you said, he probably has taken Biology as well. I in no way condone or support a young couple having a child, as it is not a good situation for them, or the child, yet we can't just blame and hope this problem will go away. It will not, until we all as parents hold ourselves to higher standards, and live them out. Children learn more from what we show them, but never tell them. If you have "no idea" who you are, most likely, your children will not either. And then we wonder why Brittany, and millions of others like her, choose sex as a form of validation. She certainly isn't getting it at home. "Never wanting for anything" is not the same as knowing you are valued for who you are.
This gal chose to have sex because she wasn't getting validation at home? Give those of us who actually watched the show a break! This gal got nothing but validation at home. Her parents did nothing but brag about how "great" she was all the time. Too much, if you ask me. Gave her a big head and even bigger entitlement mentality.
 
July 6, 2009, 12:37 pm CDT

07/06 A Teen's Pregnancy

This is a really sad story. It does not whether or not she did it on purpose, or not, this girl is pregnant with a little boy or girl. I was 18 years old when I got pregnant with my first son. The father left and I was alone and scared. However, what I did know was that I had to be a mother to my baby no matter what because it was my responsibility to do so. I am pro-life and do not believ the in abortion. Every child deserves to live because they did not ask for the mistakes that the biological parents made. If this girl cannot take care of this baby then she should consider adoption NOT abortion. I admit, it was hard at the beginning but i got through it. All women can be wonderful mothers. I had to mature fast and cannot do the things a normal 21 year old should be doing. However, I cannot imagine my life any different, nor can I imagine my life without my kids! My children are my world and I'd do anything for them.
 
July 6, 2009, 12:43 pm CDT

A Teen's Pregancy

Quote From: missie2877

I am honestly very dissapointed in today's show. Many people watch Dr. Phil, and utilize the program as a guidepost for values, and decisions in regard to their parenting and life choices. I could not believe it today as I watched Dr.Phil absolutely chastize a young girl for what he and her parents percieved to be a "planned" pregnancy. Yet, the only thing that was ever said about the Father of this baby, is that "he does not want" her. Well, I hate to break it to you, but he also chose to have unprotected sex, not just Brittany alone. He also has partial responsibility in this, and I doubt anyone is waking him up in the middle of the night to tell him what a "spoiled brat" he is. I could not believe that Dr. Phil said nothing about the behavior of her parents in this issue, or that her Mother has "no idea who she is". As if that palyed no part at all in her daughters poor decision? The bottom line is, if we continue to blame the girls in these situations, yet place little or no responsibility on our young men, these situations will continue to occur at alarming rates. Pregnacy prevention is not only the responsibility of young, or grown women, and we must realize that it takes two to tango. Dr. Phil, please recognize that this is the year 2009, not 1955. Women are not the only ones who make irresponisble, uniformed decisions in regard to sex. That young man chose to have sex without a condom as well, and there can be no "decption" on her part when he was also involved in that decision. As you said, he probably has taken Biology as well. I in no way condone or support a young couple having a child, as it is not a good situation for them, or the child, yet we can't just blame and hope this problem will go away. It will not, until we all as parents hold ourselves to higher standards, and live them out. Children learn more from what we show them, but never tell them. If you have "no idea" who you are, most likely, your children will not either. And then we wonder why Brittany, and millions of others like her, choose sex as a form of validation. She certainly isn't getting it at home. "Never wanting for anything" is not the same as knowing you are valued for who you are.
While a teenager getting pregnant is a very sad thing I have to agree with what this poster has said...all the focus has been on the girl with just a passing side note on the dad...in some ways it almost seems as if Dr Phil was joining the parents in pushing her to get an abortion, and siding with the parents completely on this.

Sometimes I think that Dr Phil might do well to have a reality check himself. I know it's easy for someone that's older to try to have everyone follow their morals but backing someone into a corner as it seems to be happening on this episode is a sure way for things to go seriously wrong...so as stated this is 2009 Dr Phil, Not 1955.  Try to have a more balanced program next time.

Seriously Disapointed.
 
July 6, 2009, 12:44 pm CDT

Whoa there, Missie!

I believe you're the one who's stuck in the past, if you think young girls who get pregnant are the innocent victims of smooth operators with two-toned shoes and twirling mustaches.

 

Today's young woman, even teens, know all about how babies are made and, unlike the 1950's girls, they have a dozen good choices of birth control -- most of them much more reliable than the condoms men have. 

 

 It does take two to tango but it only takes one smart girl to go to a clinic and get a shot that will keep her from getting pregnant for 3 years.  It only takes one (the girl) to decide on abortion.  It only takes one (the girl) to decide on adoption.  It only takes one (the girl) to decide to keep the child.  Men do not have equal rights or equal responsiblilities in these situations, so you might as well quit trying to blame them for everything.

 
July 6, 2009, 1:06 pm CDT

If my children got pregnant as teenagers......

If my children got pregnant as teenagers I would take on my responsibilities as a grandparent and help my child raise their baby (help them, not take on all the responsibilities myself). They would not abort my grandchild or give it up for adoption. I would adopt my grand baby before they gave it away. As a teen parent they will need help with the baby to get through school and go to college. There are many resources out there for teen parents to get to college.
 
July 6, 2009, 1:08 pm CDT

Wow, she needs a reality check!!!

I have dealt with this issue several times with my own students and I have yet to see a selfish, spoiled brat like this young lady. Her dad was dead on about her sense of self entitlement and unfortunately they have created that. She is rude and flippant and completely unprepared to deal with the realities of her own situation. I think one can "expose her" to the realities of the situation all they want but you can see with her little smirk she thinks that her experience will be different. It's a very sad situation because the ones paying for her lack of common sense will be the child and the parents.
 
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