Message Boards

Topic : 07/07 A Teen's Pregnancy: Brittney's Decision

Number of Replies: 60
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Wednesday, July 01, 2009, 05:15:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his in-depth look at a family that struggles with a decision that will affect the rest of their lives. Dale and Kelly's 15-year-old daughter, Brittney, an honor roll student and star athlete, recently shared she is pregnant, and the family has been turned upside down. To help Brittney learn more about adoption, Dr. Phil arranges for her to meet with two agencies. Will the visit be more emotional for the teen or her mom? Now six-and-a-half months pregnant, Brittney reveals her intentions for her unborn baby. See how her parents react to her choice. Do they think she'll stick with her decision? Has Brittney come to terms with her situation? Find out why Dr. Phil thinks she's acting detached from the baby growing in her belly. Then, hear what the baby's father and his parents have to say about the situation. Be there with this family as they encounter struggles, fears and doubts, and consider how you would react as a parent in the same situation. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 7, 2009, 1:03 pm CDT

I totally agree..

Quote From: bheuer

At age 35 I became pregnant out of wedlock and had to make this huge decision.  I decided that adoption was the best choice for both my and my baby's future.  There is no way I could have provided what I would have wanted for that child's life.  It was an open adoption, and the parents kept in touch with me over the years, loving me as well as my child.

 

Brittany is way too immature to care for this baby.  I can almost guarantee she will put the responsibility on her parents to raise the child.  They do not want that.  I think it would be in the unborn child's best interest to give it to parents who can provide the best future for the child.  It would be selfish for Brittany to keep the child.  If she relinquishes, she can go on with her life and have the kind of life she would really want, not saddled down with a kid.  It's really what would be best for all.  I hope she chooses adoption, but I also realize most kids today let their emotions rule and do not make the best decision for the child.

I agree that kids today do not think things through.  I honestly think they feel life is like a video game and when you make a wrong move you can hit reset and it all goes away.  There are consequences that she is too young to face.  Adoption is the best option.
 
July 7, 2009, 1:18 pm CDT

Following in my footsteps

I was pregnant out of wedlock at the age of 18 the father (my husband of 25 years now) married me after the baby was 29 days old. Our relationship was strong then and is strong now. We did have the help of our parents who even though they disagreed with our decision to get pg so soon they supported us and helped us emotionally and financially when needed. I now have a son who is going to be a father at the age of 19 . I will stand up and support them to raise this gift just as my parents did.

Even though parents dont plan for there children to be parents at such a young age. We as parents can not dictate what our children do. We can only guide them and pray they make the right decision. But when the wrong one is made it is our responsiblity as parents to unconditionally love and support them .Even when we really dont agree with there choices.

My hubby to this day has learned to be an awesome father thanks to my father teaching him.I have raised 3 great boys with the help and patience of my mother.I know everyone is not as lucky as i am with such merciful parents. but i could not ever see not having my children now. God gives us children as a gift to teach us to love and to give of ourselves unconditionally. I pray that any parent that finds themselves in the same situation will see that that grandbaby is a gift and that they should feel blessed to be a part of that babies life.

 
July 7, 2009, 1:37 pm CDT

My choice

When i was 19 I was pregnant for the second time. I had my first at 18 and chose to parent. The second time i knew i could not parent. I chose to place her for adoption. It is the hardest decision i ever had to make. I is a wonderful and loving decision. I was watching the show and the girl seemed detached from the baby. That can be a good thing because if you get attached and fell that the baby is yours you have a higher chance of not going through with the adoption. You have to thing of the ababy as someone elses baby. I have worked with girls placing since my adoption and the more attached they get the harder it is. I did not have counseling. I had my mind made up and didn't need it. I have never regreted my decision.
 
July 7, 2009, 1:38 pm CDT

open adoption works 16 years later

My husband and I were blessed with a son thru open adoption 16 years ago,  It works and Jen is still a part of our lives to this day.  She and her other sons were here for his 16th bday party.

 

There are awesome relationships thru open adoption.........hope Britt gets what she is looking for in a great family that she cxan be a part of for years to come.  As far as her parents it is open to the extended families also..........atleast in our case it has been...............Aunts,Uncles,Gparents,cousins, etc.

 

Anyone want to talk to me about it contact me at livelaflove@live.com

 

Deb

 
July 7, 2009, 1:42 pm CDT

Brittany go with your heart

Brittany go with what your heart tells you pray about it and you will do the right thing, If you choose to keep it things will be rough no doubt but hard work and a good family will make you proud someday and if you choose to give it up know you are giving the greatest gift to a couple you ever could so many couples want babies and can not have them and your gift will make them very happy and  will be a treasure like no other. So either way you will look back someday and be proud of your decision. Follow your heart and let the Lord guide your decision listen and you shall hear. God bless learn from your decisions and go out and follow your dreams no matter what you decide.
 
July 7, 2009, 1:57 pm CDT

britney pregancy

I gave my son up over thirty years ago though Catholic Charities. It was a closed adoption.I wannted the best for him. I cryed and grieved for a long while, But it was the best choice for me. I hope he doenot feel the need to find me. I know in my heart his parents did a great job. He will not have the desire to locate me. I still think of him on his birthday and especially Dr Phils Show I would have never chosen open adoption
 
July 7, 2009, 2:04 pm CDT

Britney and her dilemma

It took so long to register that I just heard that the baby has been placed with the adoptive parents so I have no further comment about any of that.  Please get Britney's mom some professional help,  B said even before B got pregnant her mom just cries.  That before this ever happened B's mom felt  lost.  This family was really an interesting show and in return I think it would be great if you got B's mom some help.  If B's mom keeps doing what she is doing, this can happen again.  She is the mom, not her best friend.  B's mom needs help.

 
July 7, 2009, 2:04 pm CDT

RUDE? Let's really think for a sec.

Quote From: mommahann

Brittney May have got pregnant as a teenager but that does not make her unable to care for the baby. Her parents over reacted and should have supported her in everyway possible. There are lots of support out there that would of helped brittney succeed as a teenage mother. Just because she didnt cry and throw a fit because she was pregnant doesnt mean she got pregnant on purpose. Accidents happen and people make mistakes, but sometimes a mistake could turn out to be the best in life. I got pregnant At 16 and by 17 had my son, i was young, scared and embarrassed but with the support my family and friends gave me i was able to succeed as a teen mother. [No my mother did not raise my son, She just supported me like a parent should support there children. Now im 20 and on My Second Child, Cant Wait.


 I just think that People make being a "teen mom" a big problem, when its totally reality. How rude.

Wow unbelievable.  First, her parents did not overreact.  Children should not be having children. Any NORMAL parent, who has high expectations of their daugthers would not approve of this situaion.  What support are you talking about exactly?  Are you talking about emotionally support or financial support? Those are two very different things.  The stress comes from having to deal with mostly the financial support.  Her parents are worried about where she will find the time and money to support this child.  I have a big issue with this.  People like you think that they can have chidren and expect the government to financially help.  Now where do you think the government gets this money?  It's not from his personal bank account.  Your burden becomes EVERYONE's business.  That's the irresponsible part in your decission.  You don't seem to grasp this issue.  How about when it's time to send them to college.  Will you be able to have job that will pay at least 30,000 dollars a year for their tuition???  Did you get a chance to finish college and get a job that will allow you to do so?  That is your responsibility as a parent: TO PROVIDE.  Love isn't enough to keep a child in this world. Your love can't set them up to be stable and recieve the fair opportunities of life.  You're 20 years old and expecting a second child.   I wonder who's watching you kid when you're working or if you even work.  Do you make enough to pay for daycare? When you said that your mother does not raise your son, does that mean you did not recieve financial support from her?  I will be very suprise if you said that you take care of all the finances yourself.  So don't sit there and say that being a teen mom is not a problem.  It's a big problem and it becomes EVERYONE's problems. 

 
July 7, 2009, 2:05 pm CDT

THE OPEN ADOPTION OPTION

I wholeheartedly endorse Brittney's decision to place her child with a family in an open adoption situation.  I adopted my son at birth -- was in the delivery room, cut the umbilical cord and was the first to hold him!  His birth mother was only 14 years old at the time of his birth and somehow made the mature decision to make an adoption plan for her child.  We have had an open adoption with her and her extended family for almost 15 years now and it has worked out beautifully.  My attitude at the time I decided to pursue open adoption was that having a relationship with my son's birth family only meant more people to love him.  What could be wrong with that?!  While I understand that there can be pitfalls (as one of the interviews during the show pointed out), I cannot imagine having it any other way.

 
July 7, 2009, 2:33 pm CDT

Not enough coverage on openness

I thought Dr. Phil was wonderful with Brittany at helping her look at all aspects and also trying to get her to see the benefits of counseling.  However, I was disappointed that "Openness" was kind of tacked on at the end of the show and the representative of this topic was Amy who was not active in an open adoption as she grew up. Her thoughts and feelings are important with respect to meeting birth parents later in life but not really relevant to Openness from the beginning of an adoption.  I am a birth mother who has been active in an open adoption for about 21 years. I am now a social worker and work in the area of infant adoptions.  Open adoption can be a positive aspect in adoption and for people that may have been looking at adoption I am concerned that this was not a good view of this process. Thanks for hearing my side!
Debbi
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last