Message Boards

Topic : 07/07 A Teen's Pregnancy: Brittney's Decision

Number of Replies: 60
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Wednesday, July 01, 2009, 05:15:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his in-depth look at a family that struggles with a decision that will affect the rest of their lives. Dale and Kelly's 15-year-old daughter, Brittney, an honor roll student and star athlete, recently shared she is pregnant, and the family has been turned upside down. To help Brittney learn more about adoption, Dr. Phil arranges for her to meet with two agencies. Will the visit be more emotional for the teen or her mom? Now six-and-a-half months pregnant, Brittney reveals her intentions for her unborn baby. See how her parents react to her choice. Do they think she'll stick with her decision? Has Brittney come to terms with her situation? Find out why Dr. Phil thinks she's acting detached from the baby growing in her belly. Then, hear what the baby's father and his parents have to say about the situation. Be there with this family as they encounter struggles, fears and doubts, and consider how you would react as a parent in the same situation. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 7, 2009, 2:44 pm CDT

make teenpregnancies illegal!!!

i think there are to many girls (and boys!), getting themselves into this a situation!
i was 18 after i was told i was three months pregnant. cause i was to far along i didn´t have the choice of abortion, but i knew i didn´t want to raise a child!
i went to my city´s adoptioncenter and started looking for a future for the child i would be having. the father left me & really, i never blamed him. at least it gave me total controll to be able to make the right choises!
i had a perfect pregnancy from then on, cause i felt so safe & confidant with the whole situation!
it´s been 13 years & it´s been the best thing i´ve ever done, or ever will do!!! it makes me feel very special!!!
but... why do girls get into these situations? like dr. phil says: "brains aren´t fully developed at that age!"
reason why we´re not allowed to drink, buy a house, drive a car, or go to war... (at least in germany!)
why do we allow kids to have kids? why not make it illegal!
there should be fines for parents!!!motherschool & jobs for the teenmoms, insted of college!!! or giving the baby up & having a future!!! NO FINANCIAL HELP FROM THE STATE!!! parents should not have to raise another child! HAVING CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE A MEALTICKET!!!
having baby´s has been made to easy for teens!!!
WE HAVE TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO HAVE CHILDREN BEFORE 18!!! cause god doesn´t controll the situation, we do!!!

n.c.s.
 
July 7, 2009, 2:44 pm CDT

Teen's Pregnancy

Dr. Phil my daugther was a teen having a baby she was 14 and it was the hardest thing to accept, yes my husband was so upset that he was going to have her get an abortion,we sat down and talked about it, she kept it and we stood by her she is the greatest mom ever and he is now 14 and a great grandson honor student, it was hard for her but she did it, we are so proud of her.
 
July 7, 2009, 3:13 pm CDT

17 and pregnant

I could so relate to this show. I am a 53 year old woman that got pregnant when I was 17 years old. I initially planned on giving my baby up for adoption and there was much pressure on my siblings to do so. My parents were supportive right from the beginning because my mother had given up a baby when she was a teenager too. I immediately connected and felt an understanding with my own Mother because of the pain she had dealt with all these years of giving up her baby girl all those years ago. My story is two fold which you will see later on. I ended up keeping my son and I have no regrets. I was counseled during the pregnancy because I was planning on giving him up. While in this process after feeling life inside me I just could not deal with the emotional part of it and at the time made a commitment to be a responsible parent. That is the key I believe. I grew up in that very short time and gave up my teen years to take care of my son. I had plenty of help from my parents so that I could go to work and help with the finances of his care. If it had not been for my parents support I could not have done this. Even thinking about what my parents did for me is very emotional for me to this day. My son is 35 years old and an incredible husband and father to his 3 children, my grandchildren. I am so proud of him.

 

The second part of this story is that when I was 42 years old my beautiful sister that was adopted out all those years ago found us. I believe she was 50 at the time. I can't even begin to tell you the connection I have with her. We communicate on the internet almost every day. She calls me her baby sister. I have been to her house many times and she recently attended the funeral of my Dad's twin brother. She is a very real part of our family. Our Mother had my sister all those years ago in a home for unwed mothers. She had to walk away and leave her baby there after holding her in her arms. I know Mom was affected all those years with the pain of never knowing where she was and feel that her finding us began a healing for her.

 

I feel that adoption is a personal choice, but that if you do decide to keep your baby you need to realize that YOU are the Mother and to set in your mind that you are going to parent this child not the grandparents. Yes you need the support of family, but be the responsible parent of this little one that did not ask to come into this world.

 
July 7, 2009, 3:42 pm CDT

Adoption



I only saw the show yesterday then I read on Dr. Phil website about what happened today.  I feel like Brittany made a courageous decision.  I am adopted and I feel that if someone goes through with carrying a child and giving birth to the child and being able to give it to another family who could provide it with a better life is a decision of love.  I am a little sad for Brittney of how her parents wanted her to have an abortion at the beginning.  There are so many people who want and are not able to get pregnant and have a biological baby.  I hope Brittney and her mom and dad can become close again and maybe to forgive each other and accept each other.  We all make mistakes and Brittney is still a young and bright person with her whole life ahead of her.        
 
July 7, 2009, 3:49 pm CDT

Open Adoption is Wonderful

My husband and I started trying to conceive shortly after we got married and after four years of trying and going to fertility doctor and doing everything possible to conceive it just was not work for us, so we knew we were not going to except the fact that we was not going to have children. So we started the adoption process and seventeen months to the day that we finished all of our paper work for our adoption our son was born. My husband and I adopted our son at birth we were in the delivery room, cut the umbilical cord and was the first to hold him!  His birth mother and birth father was only 20 years old at the time of his birth and somehow made the mature decision to make an adoption plan for their child.  We have had an open adoption with the birth parents (they are engaged to be married). We think it is the greatest thing in the world to have an open adoption with our son's birth parents. Even though he is only two years old he still knows them when he sees them.  We get to see them about every other month and they get to see how well he is getting taken care of and how he is growing. We have also sent them every single picture that we have taken of him. We would not want to have it any other way. We want him to grow up knowing his birth parents and the reason they put him up for adoption and it was not because they did not love him it was because they could not give him what he would need in life and the life that he deserved to have. They tell us often how happy that they are that they get to see him and how well he is doing. WE THINK THAT OPEN ADOPTION IS AWSOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
July 7, 2009, 4:31 pm CDT

Adoption is Great!

I think it's great that Brittney chose an adoption, especially and open one. 

All of the studies done on Open Adoptions show that these children, and their birthparents, benefit immensely from the open relationship. 

I don't think Amy's comments one Open Adoption were accurate, especially because she did not experience one. 

I do not believe in Teen Pregnancy or Single-Parent homes, and believe that society is too accepting of such, and even promotes same.  Children need to be raised in a stable environment.  Stability in finances, emotions, et al is key to raising a well-adjusted child.  Trying to parent a child, while you are still a child, is a selfish choice.

I don't want my tax dollars going to support a "Parent" who shouldn't be a parent.  Perfect Example: Octo-Mom.

Too bad you didn't need a license to have sex.  What a difference that would make.

 

 
July 7, 2009, 5:09 pm CDT

Teen's pregnancy

I have watched both shows about Brittany and have mixed feelings about what I think she should do.  Being the grandmother of 5 grandsons and 2 granddaughters I can feel for Brittany's mom.  It would really be a hard thing to watch your child give up your grandchild.  On the other hand, choosing to place her child for adoption is probably the best thing she could do for the baby and for herself.  I have three daughters and they made it through their teen years, higher education, married, and self supporting without an unplanned pregnancy.  BUT!, my youngest daughter went through a divorce after seven years and a year later announced that she was pregnant.  She is a hair stylist and had one son five years old.  She continued to work full time and support herself and her son.  She is now a single mom with two little boys.  My husband and I were disappointed, to say the least, but we supported her.  I take the boys for a weekend once a month, to give her a break, but I'm not going to raise them.

 

  I love all my grandchildren with all my heart, but as I've told my daughters, I've raised my family, they are responsible for theirs. 

 

My mother, who was widowed at 36 when my dad was killed in a mining accident, was left with nine children between 4 and 16 years old to raise, 5 girls and 4 boys.  She took a totally different approach to unwanted preganancies.  She told all five of us girls if we got pregnant we could come in the front door, get our clothes, and go out the back door.  We had no pregnancies, to say the least. 

 

As far as Brittany goes, I get the feeling she has little or no compassion, thinks only of herself, and has no real concept of what she has put her family through.  She appears spoiled and appears not to have ever had any type of responsibility or been held accountable for her actions in the past.

c.

 
July 7, 2009, 5:28 pm CDT

Personal: I was 15

Teen pregnancy is something that is never going to go away, unless you plan on making teens wear a chastity belt until they're twenty.

 

I felt bad for Brittney. Her parents behaved as if she had committed a crime, as if it was a person attack on them. Dr. Phil asked her if she got pregnant on purpose. I don't believe she did. This a teenager. They make mistakes and bad decisions, that's why they're teenagers. She's not the first teen to lie to her parents and she won't be the last. Having been there myself, a pregnant 15 year old, I tell you it wasn't something I did on purpose. It was something that I just didn't think could happen to me.

 

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy a month before I turned 16. I kept my son. I never even considered adoption or abortion. Abortion seemed to be what her father thought was best. That cold heartless man made me grateful for my uninvolved, never paid a dime of child support, in and out of prison father who was in prison when I got pregnant and had my son. He made me grateful for my father who never invested any real time or money in me when I was growing up.

 

I really don't feel they made her feel like she could really keep her baby if she wanted to. I felt like she was browbeaten into giving her baby up for adoption. Her father wouldn't even acknowledge that was his grandchild, said he wanted nothing to do with it. I think adoption is a wonderful thing. But I don't think she felt like her baby would be welcome in her home. The hostility was palpable.

 

Her pregnancy did not have to be a bad thing and Dr. Phil did not have to choose to treat it like a bad thing. It could have been used as an opportunity to make their family stronger, better, more united. Now, if she doesn't get pregnant again within the next year. She may end up a drug addict from the guilt her family made her feel. I've seen it happen to others before.

 

I am one of the lucky ones. Brittney's situation showed me that my whacked out mother was loving and supportive. Yes, she took care of my son while I went to school and earned my high school diploma. She also baby sat him when I started college before he qualified to attend the day care there. With my mother's love and support, I was able to earn a Bachelor's Degree.

 

Is my life perfect? Of course not. Would it be better if I had given my son up for adoption? No. I worked harder because I had him and because I didn't want him to grow up to be ashamed of me.

 

They complained about their economic hardship, but they still lived in a very nice home, not a two bedroom basement apartment like me and my daughter, my second child that was born while I was attending college. I saw very nice vehicles, not one beat up old '81 Chevy Camaro that's been sitting in the shop since January.

 

I think Brittney's family needs to learn to count their blessings. Their daughter got pregnant. She wasn't stealing money from them for drugs. She had a baby. She did not commit felony one murder. A baby is a blessing not a crime. And that's how I see it.

 

PS. My mother forgot me in a grocery store once.

 
July 7, 2009, 5:49 pm CDT

07/07 A Teen's Pregnancy: Brittney's Decision

Quote From: fashionvic

i think there are to many girls (and boys!), getting themselves into this a situation!
i was 18 after i was told i was three months pregnant. cause i was to far along i didn´t have the choice of abortion, but i knew i didn´t want to raise a child!
i went to my city´s adoptioncenter and started looking for a future for the child i would be having. the father left me & really, i never blamed him. at least it gave me total controll to be able to make the right choises!
i had a perfect pregnancy from then on, cause i felt so safe & confidant with the whole situation!
it´s been 13 years & it´s been the best thing i´ve ever done, or ever will do!!! it makes me feel very special!!!
but... why do girls get into these situations? like dr. phil says: "brains aren´t fully developed at that age!"
reason why we´re not allowed to drink, buy a house, drive a car, or go to war... (at least in germany!)
why do we allow kids to have kids? why not make it illegal!
there should be fines for parents!!!motherschool & jobs for the teenmoms, insted of college!!! or giving the baby up & having a future!!! NO FINANCIAL HELP FROM THE STATE!!! parents should not have to raise another child! HAVING CHILDREN SHOULD NOT BE A MEALTICKET!!!
having baby´s has been made to easy for teens!!!
WE HAVE TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO HAVE CHILDREN BEFORE 18!!! cause god doesn´t controll the situation, we do!!!

n.c.s.

Oh honey, I beg to differ!  See, I believe God does control the situation.  Who do you think hands the control over to us, then gives us the option to right our wrongs? God is in control of us who are in control of our own lives.  Even after teen pregnancy God still forgives, and believe it or not, He forgives those who have had abortions.  I would hate to think I was never forgiven for my wrong doing.  I've never been pregnant so, the abortion issue is a no-brainer.  But I know for fact that anyone and everyone who asks for forgivesness no matter the reason, is forgiven.

 

Making teen pregnancy illegal, would be like impeaching Obama before he has a chance to turn his presidency into a dictatorship.  Never gonna happen! Let's be realistic, it would do absolutely no good to make teen pregnancy illegal, what need to happen is girls and boys need for someone to educate them on how their life will drasticly change once they get pregnant/get someone pregnant.  I feel this needs to be taught at home and reinforced in schools. They need to be taught, emotional responsibilty, physical responsibility and financial responsibility; hopefully, in an attempt to encourage prevention.  Prevention is the key to anything that could possibly have a negative effect on one's life.   If you know you're not ready for a baby, by all means don't have sex until you're emotionally and financially set!  Not even "safe sex." Birth control pills and condoms are not guarenteed-abstinance is!  Something needs to be done in America to reverse this growing epidemic.

 
July 7, 2009, 5:55 pm CDT

Teen Pregnancy

I usually stay clear of teen pregnancy discussions as it hits so close to home. I had my first child two weeks after I turned 16. I married her father and had my second child 4 days before I turned 18. We divorced when I was 19. I graduated from high school with a 22 month old baby and 8 months pregnant. Yes, I graduated...yes I graduated on time with my senior class. I graduated from college four years later. I did not live with my parents. I worked full time and attended college full time. It was the hardest 4 years of our lives. I always scheduled my classes so they ended before 4 pm and then I worked the night shift 12-4 as a waitress. I HATE how so many people treat teen pregnancy like a death sentence. I truly appreciate how you showed brittany ALL her choices, which included keeping her child. Ultimately, I admire Brittany's decision. On occasion, I have questioned whether or not keeping my oldest daughter was a selfish decision. She and I have had to grow up together. While her presence has enhanced my life and guided me toward a path of success and prosperity, she has had to deal with many difficult times. Then, I remind myself that all families go through difficult times. Now my daughters are 19 and 17. My oldest is starting her 2nd year of college with a 3.9 GPA, majoring in climitoligy. My second daughter is a senior in high school. She is an honor student, dancer, and cheerleader. What I want people to understand is that ALL parents struggle. Teen parents have more challenges to overcome, but they can overcome these challenges and raise beautiful well adjusted children. It is all a matter of choices and always striving to do the best with the choices you have made. My road has not been easy, but I am so proud of my children and myself. One thing that has been a bit of a shock to me and something teen parents need to consider...You never really out grow being a teen parent. I am now 35 years old and I am still the youngest parent at all my children's events. People still do the math as soon as they hear my girls ages and their mouths drop. I often think...will I ever get out from under this stigma?
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Next | Last