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Topic : 07/07 A Teen's Pregnancy: Brittney's Decision

Number of Replies: 60
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Wednesday, July 01, 2009, 05:15:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his in-depth look at a family that struggles with a decision that will affect the rest of their lives. Dale and Kelly's 15-year-old daughter, Brittney, an honor roll student and star athlete, recently shared she is pregnant, and the family has been turned upside down. To help Brittney learn more about adoption, Dr. Phil arranges for her to meet with two agencies. Will the visit be more emotional for the teen or her mom? Now six-and-a-half months pregnant, Brittney reveals her intentions for her unborn baby. See how her parents react to her choice. Do they think she'll stick with her decision? Has Brittney come to terms with her situation? Find out why Dr. Phil thinks she's acting detached from the baby growing in her belly. Then, hear what the baby's father and his parents have to say about the situation. Be there with this family as they encounter struggles, fears and doubts, and consider how you would react as a parent in the same situation. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 7, 2009, 5:57 pm CDT

pregnancy, i can handle but...

Quote From: cnetta

Teen pregnancy is something that is never going to go away, unless you plan on making teens wear a chastity belt until they're twenty.

 

I felt bad for Brittney. Her parents behaved as if she had committed a crime, as if it was a person attack on them. Dr. Phil asked her if she got pregnant on purpose. I don't believe she did. This a teenager. They make mistakes and bad decisions, that's why they're teenagers. She's not the first teen to lie to her parents and she won't be the last. Having been there myself, a pregnant 15 year old, I tell you it wasn't something I did on purpose. It was something that I just didn't think could happen to me.

 

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy a month before I turned 16. I kept my son. I never even considered adoption or abortion. Abortion seemed to be what her father thought was best. That cold heartless man made me grateful for my uninvolved, never paid a dime of child support, in and out of prison father who was in prison when I got pregnant and had my son. He made me grateful for my father who never invested any real time or money in me when I was growing up.

 

I really don't feel they made her feel like she could really keep her baby if she wanted to. I felt like she was browbeaten into giving her baby up for adoption. Her father wouldn't even acknowledge that was his grandchild, said he wanted nothing to do with it. I think adoption is a wonderful thing. But I don't think she felt like her baby would be welcome in her home. The hostility was palpable.

 

Her pregnancy did not have to be a bad thing and Dr. Phil did not have to choose to treat it like a bad thing. It could have been used as an opportunity to make their family stronger, better, more united. Now, if she doesn't get pregnant again within the next year. She may end up a drug addict from the guilt her family made her feel. I've seen it happen to others before.

 

I am one of the lucky ones. Brittney's situation showed me that my whacked out mother was loving and supportive. Yes, she took care of my son while I went to school and earned my high school diploma. She also baby sat him when I started college before he qualified to attend the day care there. With my mother's love and support, I was able to earn a Bachelor's Degree.

 

Is my life perfect? Of course not. Would it be better if I had given my son up for adoption? No. I worked harder because I had him and because I didn't want him to grow up to be ashamed of me.

 

They complained about their economic hardship, but they still lived in a very nice home, not a two bedroom basement apartment like me and my daughter, my second child that was born while I was attending college. I saw very nice vehicles, not one beat up old '81 Chevy Camaro that's been sitting in the shop since January.

 

I think Brittney's family needs to learn to count their blessings. Their daughter got pregnant. She wasn't stealing money from them for drugs. She had a baby. She did not commit felony one murder. A baby is a blessing not a crime. And that's how I see it.

 

PS. My mother forgot me in a grocery store once.

Dr. Phil:

 

After watching this show, I felt that Brittany and her parents have it soooo easy compared to us.  We are in the same situation with our 17 year old daughter BUT... the difference is, she doesn't want to come home, she wants to stay living in her 'rooming house' and with her b/f and his parents.  She is still doing drugs, and her b/f was doing meth and coke when they got pregnant and now they ONLY do pot, this is the answer we get, ONLY pot.  And they both smoke.  The kid is the biggest loser I've ever met in my life and our daugher is losing weight I'm sure while pregnant.  She looks sick and tired and boney.  Our concern is this, what do we do?  we have tried to talk her into an abortion, especially considering the boy is 'a bit slow' and addicted to pot and has many emotional problems including depression and bipolar.  Neither of them have jobs and neither of them are in school.  She is 14 weeks pregnant now.  I have written to your show 9 times now, hoping we could get to you before it was too late for an abortion, which by the way, she will not hear of.  We have never had anything like this is in our family, we are mortified and can not imagine where she is coming from.  Please help!!!!!!! She HAD everything going for her, like Brittany, and she CHOSE this guy.  She was an honor student, bilingual and now can't hold a job and quit school.  WE have more than loved this child, and put her on a pedistal.  She only texts us every few days with 'hi' and says she loves us sometimes, but that's all we get.  The chip on the shoulder is a BOULDER and we are not to question her about anything or she just gets up and leaves.  I have no doubt that the baby will have something wrong with it, it has to with the drugs and now she's going to raise a baby??  When asked if she has a plan, there's nothing.  Just love they say. They have only known each other for maybe 4 months, met on a one night stand i'm sure (if it's even his).  HIs parents are lovely but naiive and don't want to raise this baby but is afraid to send them out to raise it on their own, they have nothing.  I would give anything for some advice or even a phone call with 3 words of wisdom to get us through the day.  If she decided she made a mistake and wanted to move in with us, we would CHERISH the idea, but we don't even have THAT!!!  This poor baby is going to be the beginning generation of a loser life (because of drugs).  If they're doing them while she's pregnant, can you imagine what they'll do when she's not?  He's all peirced and tattooed and scratches his skin and picks his scabs and shakes and she is the most beautiful, overly intelligent, rational, respectful, kind, empathetic girl you will ever meet.  The parents of the boy love her, of course.  What do we do???

 
July 7, 2009, 6:30 pm CDT

07/07 A Teen's Pregnancy: Brittney's Decision

Quote From: shelly_80

Oh honey, I beg to differ!  See, I believe God does control the situation.  Who do you think hands the control over to us, then gives us the option to right our wrongs? God is in control of us who are in control of our own lives.  Even after teen pregnancy God still forgives, and believe it or not, He forgives those who have had abortions.  I would hate to think I was never forgiven for my wrong doing.  I've never been pregnant so, the abortion issue is a no-brainer.  But I know for fact that anyone and everyone who asks for forgivesness no matter the reason, is forgiven.

 

Making teen pregnancy illegal, would be like impeaching Obama before he has a chance to turn his presidency into a dictatorship.  Never gonna happen! Let's be realistic, it would do absolutely no good to make teen pregnancy illegal, what need to happen is girls and boys need for someone to educate them on how their life will drasticly change once they get pregnant/get someone pregnant.  I feel this needs to be taught at home and reinforced in schools. They need to be taught, emotional responsibilty, physical responsibility and financial responsibility; hopefully, in an attempt to encourage prevention.  Prevention is the key to anything that could possibly have a negative effect on one's life.   If you know you're not ready for a baby, by all means don't have sex until you're emotionally and financially set!  Not even "safe sex." Birth control pills and condoms are not guarenteed-abstinance is!  Something needs to be done in America to reverse this growing epidemic.

 

First of all, don't make this a religious thing, it is ONLY your opinion what god does or does not do.  Until you can prove it, please don't preach.  Secondly, we are the only ones responsible for ourselves and these children are not going to abstain from sex , you know why??  because they alllllllll feel that they are soooo responsible and educated and ENTITLED to do what they want.  Don't assume that it's not taught in homes, I am one that has re iterated and discussed and instilled for many many years and here we are, with baby. It is a decision that these kids make in the blink of an eye, meanwhile their life can be ruined, our life can be ruined and the worst of all, we get a human life out of your stupid decision that you made.  These kids think they're invincible and I think girls should be made to wear something so they can NOT get pregnant until they are secure in all areas, such as financially, mentally, physically and emotionally.  Or, like the last lady said, it should be illegal but then what, they all go sit in a jail cell, pregnant??  And yes something DOES need to be done, not only in America!!!

 
July 7, 2009, 7:08 pm CDT

Just a testimony

My sister, was pregnant when she was 14 years old, she choose to keep her baby, baby that now she is 22 years old, was not easy for her.. but she manage to give birth to her, taking care of her, i give everything she possible can give her...

 

Now, Gaby (her name) she is a succefull worker, she finished her University.. and now she is very independant.. sometimes, these "problemes" can become a blessing in your life, thank God because you decide to give birth and not to abort, i will pray for you, and i know that if you have faith in God he will help you and give you the right decision

 

May God Bless you

 

Dulce Marie

 
July 7, 2009, 8:31 pm CDT

Brittanys story

Confused is one emotion I try not to express it's just a lack of understanding!! So I lack understanding about my post to the message boards about yesterdays show!!!!!
 
July 7, 2009, 8:32 pm CDT

Where is the baby's father????

Where is the child's father?

Does anyone know why he was not there if he has been so supportive  and so engaged in everything?

Where is his family?

I do not think it is fair just to talk about Brittney,she sure made a mistake but she did not do it ALONE.

 
July 7, 2009, 9:05 pm CDT

Brittney

Doctor Phil:  I watched the show with Brittney 16 and pregnant.  I became pregnant at the age of 15 years old.  I had three children by the time I was 21 years old.  My youngest child Eric I signed temporary custody to his father.  I did this due to the fact that at 21 with 3 children and the oldest two only had me due to the fact that I was divorced when my second child was 5 months due to the fact their father was beating me. 

 

I just want Brittney to know that even with the young age that I was I kept all my babies and with the  help of my mother I was able to finish high with my class and then I went to the local junior college to get an accounting degree however was forced to drop out after 1 year.  I then went to a technical college and graduate with a 4.0 average and received a drafting degree.  The school then help place me in a drafting job.  This drafting provided me a way to make a great life for me and the kids.  I remarried and for 17 years I was providing the kids with a father and mother.  My two oldest children changed their last name in high school due to the fact this was the only real father they knew.  We divorced due to fact he cheated one to many times. 

 

I remarried a few years later to my current husband.  All 3 of my children are the best friends I have.  WE grew up together and NOTHING will pull us apart. Not that sometimes life choices might get in the way so we work thru the hard times only to know that the 4 of us are very important in each others lives.

 

My youngest son and I had a couple of falling outs and even thou it might have taken a couple of years we worked thru the problems.

 

So Britteny if you choose to keep this baby and he or she is really important to you and you love them enough you will not us them as an reason not to finish high school and then do what it takes to get an educate to provide for them.  Children are the best gift God blesses us with.  They will give you unconditional love and can grow to be the best friends you will every know.

 

My youngest one came back to live with me when he was a freshman in high school.  This was after I had made several attempts to help to fix the problems Eric was having with his dad and family.  Eric visited every summer and some holidays.  when he was being treated wrongly at home I was forced to make the family go to counseling and when this failed I brought him home.  Remember even at 21 I knew enough to get an attorney and give only temporary custody.

 

My children and I live closed to each other.  I also help to raise my brothers and sisters.  When mom had the twins I was in Jr high however due to the fact we lived on welfare and mom did the best she could.  The twins are only 3 years older then my first born.  Mother and I were very close so we helped each other. I moved away from mom and my sisters when my children were 6 and 5 years old.  We moved from Michigan to Texas.

 

I am the Matriarch in are family.  So Brittney your child can bring you so much joy over the years if you let them.

 

Thanks for letting me share

 
July 7, 2009, 10:05 pm CDT

07/07 A Teen's Pregnancy: Brittney's Decision

Quote From: chaopescao

Dr. Phil:

 

After watching this show, I felt that Brittany and her parents have it soooo easy compared to us.  We are in the same situation with our 17 year old daughter BUT... the difference is, she doesn't want to come home, she wants to stay living in her 'rooming house' and with her b/f and his parents.  She is still doing drugs, and her b/f was doing meth and coke when they got pregnant and now they ONLY do pot, this is the answer we get, ONLY pot.  And they both smoke.  The kid is the biggest loser I've ever met in my life and our daugher is losing weight I'm sure while pregnant.  She looks sick and tired and boney.  Our concern is this, what do we do?  we have tried to talk her into an abortion, especially considering the boy is 'a bit slow' and addicted to pot and has many emotional problems including depression and bipolar.  Neither of them have jobs and neither of them are in school.  She is 14 weeks pregnant now.  I have written to your show 9 times now, hoping we could get to you before it was too late for an abortion, which by the way, she will not hear of.  We have never had anything like this is in our family, we are mortified and can not imagine where she is coming from.  Please help!!!!!!! She HAD everything going for her, like Brittany, and she CHOSE this guy.  She was an honor student, bilingual and now can't hold a job and quit school.  WE have more than loved this child, and put her on a pedistal.  She only texts us every few days with 'hi' and says she loves us sometimes, but that's all we get.  The chip on the shoulder is a BOULDER and we are not to question her about anything or she just gets up and leaves.  I have no doubt that the baby will have something wrong with it, it has to with the drugs and now she's going to raise a baby??  When asked if she has a plan, there's nothing.  Just love they say. They have only known each other for maybe 4 months, met on a one night stand i'm sure (if it's even his).  HIs parents are lovely but naiive and don't want to raise this baby but is afraid to send them out to raise it on their own, they have nothing.  I would give anything for some advice or even a phone call with 3 words of wisdom to get us through the day.  If she decided she made a mistake and wanted to move in with us, we would CHERISH the idea, but we don't even have THAT!!!  This poor baby is going to be the beginning generation of a loser life (because of drugs).  If they're doing them while she's pregnant, can you imagine what they'll do when she's not?  He's all peirced and tattooed and scratches his skin and picks his scabs and shakes and she is the most beautiful, overly intelligent, rational, respectful, kind, empathetic girl you will ever meet.  The parents of the boy love her, of course.  What do we do???

Do you really want to know what you can do?  Support your daughter's decision to keep her baby or put it up for adoption.  You can't hammer abortion into her head.  She's the mother of this baby and she gets to make executive decisions now.  Look on the bright side, maybe she'll mis-carry, which would still be a horrible thing, but atleast it wouldn't be legally MURDERED.  I would rather see someone mis-carry than have an abortion. 

 
July 7, 2009, 10:34 pm CDT

Profound

Quote From: bbartlett1055

I could so relate to this show. I am a 53 year old woman that got pregnant when I was 17 years old. I initially planned on giving my baby up for adoption and there was much pressure on my siblings to do so. My parents were supportive right from the beginning because my mother had given up a baby when she was a teenager too. I immediately connected and felt an understanding with my own Mother because of the pain she had dealt with all these years of giving up her baby girl all those years ago. My story is two fold which you will see later on. I ended up keeping my son and I have no regrets. I was counseled during the pregnancy because I was planning on giving him up. While in this process after feeling life inside me I just could not deal with the emotional part of it and at the time made a commitment to be a responsible parent. That is the key I believe. I grew up in that very short time and gave up my teen years to take care of my son. I had plenty of help from my parents so that I could go to work and help with the finances of his care. If it had not been for my parents support I could not have done this. Even thinking about what my parents did for me is very emotional for me to this day. My son is 35 years old and an incredible husband and father to his 3 children, my grandchildren. I am so proud of him.

 

The second part of this story is that when I was 42 years old my beautiful sister that was adopted out all those years ago found us. I believe she was 50 at the time. I can't even begin to tell you the connection I have with her. We communicate on the internet almost every day. She calls me her baby sister. I have been to her house many times and she recently attended the funeral of my Dad's twin brother. She is a very real part of our family. Our Mother had my sister all those years ago in a home for unwed mothers. She had to walk away and leave her baby there after holding her in her arms. I know Mom was affected all those years with the pain of never knowing where she was and feel that her finding us began a healing for her.

 

I feel that adoption is a personal choice, but that if you do decide to keep your baby you need to realize that YOU are the Mother and to set in your mind that you are going to parent this child not the grandparents. Yes you need the support of family, but be the responsible parent of this little one that did not ask to come into this world.

That was so profound.  I've never been in this situation, so my opinion is completely irrelevant in the matter.  I've said before that children need to be taught THE 100 proof preventative measure (a.k.a abstinance).  The truth of the matter is, like it or not, kids will do whatever they choose these days. 

 

You said you and your sister spend a lot of time talking and emailing.  Has your mom and the rest of the family gotten to meet her?  It is so awesome that you were afforded the opportunity to meet her after all these years!  I think adoption is a wonderful thing, but I love to see adults who were adopted at some point in their childhood be reunited with thier biological family.  Do you ever watch that show The Locater?  I just sit and cry when I watch it. Congrats to a "two-fold" happy ending!

 
July 8, 2009, 3:08 am CDT

It is a good choice

I just wanted everyone to know that 12 years ago i gave my daughter up for adoption.  It was an open adoption.  I purposly had no contact until the child contacted me about 5 years ago.  Now we are great.  I see her, she comes over and spends the night, she writes me letters, we have a great relationship.  It was the best decision i have ever made in my life.  My daughter is happy, her family is happy, I am happy, and my family is happy.  She has one big giant family.  She knows I am her birth mother and she is very proud of it and is quick to tell people her story.  I am sure that not every story turns out as great as mine, but I have absolutely not one regret.  I say go for it, it is your choice and your choice only.  Don't let family and friends talk you into something you dont want to do.  If you would like to talk to me about my story my email is spliffers@roadrunner.com.   Laura
 
July 8, 2009, 10:14 am CDT

07/07 A Teen's Pregnancy: Brittney's Decision

I live in New York.  My fiancee and I were planning to watch this episode since we saw the last one.  It never came on there because of the Michael Jackson memorial.  Could this episode please be re-aired?  Or is it available to watch from this site?  Thanks!
 
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