Topic : 07/09 Is it Over? A Divorce Solution

A Divorce Doctor Is  It Over Phil/Robin Solution? I hope not. At least not now. See you on July 09th, 2009----

Thursday. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 22YRS TO A MAN WITH ADHD.I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WHEN I MARRIED HIM.I DIDN'T KNOW ANYHTING ABOUT ADHD UNTIL OUR OLDEST CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED WITH IT.THEN OUR SECOND CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED ALSO.WITH ALL THE READING I'VE DONE ON THE SUBJECT IT DOES EXPLAIN MY HUSBANDS BEHAVIOR.HE WOULD HAVE SO MANY PROJECTS GOING ON AND NOTHING GETTING DONE AND HIS MEMORY IS TERRIBLE.HE WAS ALSO HYPER.WE HAVE HAD PROBLEMS NOT DIRECTLY WITH ADHD BUT WITH ALOT OF ADHD PEOPLE(MY CHILDRENS PSYCHOLOGIST HAS TOLD ME) ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE ADDICTS.MY HUSBAND IS ADDICTED TO METH.THAT HAS BEEN OUR PROBLEM FOR ALONG TIME.THAT IS WHY I WANT A DIVORCE.I HAVE RECENTLY HAD MY THIRD CHILD AND I REALLY HOPE HE WON'T SUFFER FROM THE SAME THING.

My adult son was diagnosed with dyslexia at 7 and ADD in jr. high school. His undergrad is from one of the oldest universities in the States. He has a PhD in particle physics from one of the most distinguished schools in Europe. He is an Eagle Scout. He holds athletic records at his high school. He was involved in student government, band/orchestra and school plays.

We handled his diagnosis with medication, nutrition (organic/vegetarian), exercise, routine and LOTS and LOTS of organizational tools (dayplanners, digital planners/calendars/etc, and a great amount of praise for whatever was going well, no matter how small. We never allowed the ADD or dyslexia to be used as an excuse for anything.

Fortunately, I was an educator (and a single mother) who willingly structured our lives and household to fit his needs. On Mother's Day 2009, he and his wife of 3 years had a gathering at their home to allow me to meets some of his friends/colleagues at the Big 10 University where he's in a 3 year post-doc. All were PhD physicists with 1 a tenured prof. Over the course of the evening, they began to tell me that my son is their "go-to" scientist for his organizational skills, reliability, and execution when dealing with complicated projects and deadlines, and his wife (a highly educated woman with a graduate degree in her own field of medicine) told me he's organized the budget and pays all the bills because he's good at it and likes to do it. Eureka!! Everything we did paid off!  

ADD is not an excuse or a "sentence of doom". With the right tools and a lot of hard work ... anything is possible.

Adhd people have many wonderful qualities. As a matter of fact there are many successful, famous people with Adhd.  I believe that without them many of the innovation and inventions would not be around. They are very intelligent, loyal, creative and sensitive and have a great deal to offer society. I believe that the problem is that most people including some doctors do not understand Adhd themselves. There has been a great deal of new research and individuals with the correct diagnosis can now be successful and thrive  in their lives. It all begins with patience, love, understanding and the correct treatment.  I am an Adhd Coach. If you have any more questions email me at debfromatl@yahoo.com

                                                              Sincerely,

                                                              Debbie

Hi!  I am an Adhd coach.  I would hate for you to blame all of your problems on Adhd because this is just an excuse. Your doctor is halfway correct, but lacks an understanding of Adhd. People with Adhd can often get addictions because they are trying to self medicate themselves. In this case, the meth has probably gotten out of control. I am surprised that your doctor hasn't suggesting getting the proper diagnosis and treatment. If he is treated properly with medication,therapy, coaching, diet, exercise and love and patience, he can improve tremendously and you may even be surprised! I don't know all the other details in your marriage ,but this is a starting point and only that!  I hope that you will be patient and help him get the help that he greatly needs, but  remember he can only be helped if he wants it. If you have any more questions feel free to email me at debfromatl@yahoo.com.

                                                             Sincerely,

                                                              Debbie