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Topic : 07/09 Is it Over? A Divorce Solution

Number of Replies: 21
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Created on : Wednesday, July 01, 2009, 05:16:35 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you and your spouse fight about the same things over and over? Dr. Phil's guests have threatened divorce and want to know if there's a solution for their constant battles. Deanna and her husband, Jason, argue often and engage in big blowouts that they say are destroying their marriage. They have a 7-year-old son who was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and Deanna wonders if her husband may also suffer from this disorder. Is this couple caught in a never-ending downward spiral, and is ADHD contributing to the problem? Dr. Ned Hallowell, psychiatrist, best-selling author and expert in the field of ADD and ADHD, weighs in. After watching a video of Jason participating in a specific task, what are the therapist's thoughts about Jason's behavior? Then, meet Kevin who has been diagnosed with ADD. His wife, Roseshel, says their marriage is like a roller-coaster ride, and he's impossible to deal with. Can this couple save their union, or is the damage already done? If you wonder whether your spouse may suffer from ADD or ADHD, tune in to find out the signs to watch out for and what you can do to bring peace to your home. Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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July 3, 2009, 10:10 am CDT

Doctor Phil Show.

A Divorce Doctor Is  It Over Phil/Robin Solution? I hope not. At least not now. See you on July 09th, 2009----

Thursday. Sincerley Your. Russell Vlaanderen.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
July 9, 2009, 5:13 am CDT

What if you could see a happy couple LIVE online... You can! Dr. Phil, Robin & Family First LIVE online. SEE BELOW

All the best to all. If needed help be sure to click on Dr. Phil's ADVICE above or search in search box or check Dr. Phil's book: RELATIONSHIP RESCUE. Thank you. Sincerely, SEA

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Cyber flight plans straight from the heart.
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July 4, 2009

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Speaking tweet and you can too friend


 
July 9, 2009, 7:15 am CDT

Good Show

I just saw the show on Adults living with ADD. It put alot of things in prespective- The only thing I think Dr Phil could do better with or a different angle is How about the wife having Adult ADD and how that effects a marraige. I know how tough this can be. I'm a female, wife, and mother living with ? Adult ADD I would like DR Phil to have my husband on and discuss how hard it is opn him to be the spouse of someone with ADD. The show did show me that I should persue the final diagnoses To help not only myself but the happieness of my family.
 
July 9, 2009, 9:01 am CDT

07/09 Is it Over? A Divorce Solution

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 22YRS TO A MAN WITH ADHD.I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WHEN I MARRIED HIM.I DIDN'T KNOW ANYHTING ABOUT ADHD UNTIL OUR OLDEST CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED WITH IT.THEN OUR SECOND CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED ALSO.WITH ALL THE READING I'VE DONE ON THE SUBJECT IT DOES EXPLAIN MY HUSBANDS BEHAVIOR.HE WOULD HAVE SO MANY PROJECTS GOING ON AND NOTHING GETTING DONE AND HIS MEMORY IS TERRIBLE.HE WAS ALSO HYPER.WE HAVE HAD PROBLEMS NOT DIRECTLY WITH ADHD BUT WITH ALOT OF ADHD PEOPLE(MY CHILDRENS PSYCHOLOGIST HAS TOLD ME) ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE ADDICTS.MY HUSBAND IS ADDICTED TO METH.THAT HAS BEEN OUR PROBLEM FOR ALONG TIME.THAT IS WHY I WANT A DIVORCE.I HAVE RECENTLY HAD MY THIRD CHILD AND I REALLY HOPE HE WON'T SUFFER FROM THE SAME THING.

 
July 9, 2009, 9:52 am CDT

ADD doesn't = bad husband

My husband has ADD and is also dyslexic. He is a successful lawyer, businessman, husband, and loyal friend. ADD does not mean lazy, rude, and disorganized.
 
July 9, 2009, 1:22 pm CDT

married 30 year old son w/ADD & dyslexia

My adult son was diagnosed with dyslexia at 7 and ADD in jr. high school. His undergrad is from one of the oldest universities in the States. He has a PhD in particle physics from one of the most distinguished schools in Europe. He is an Eagle Scout. He holds athletic records at his high school. He was involved in student government, band/orchestra and school plays.

 

We handled his diagnosis with medication, nutrition (organic/vegetarian), exercise, routine and LOTS and LOTS of organizational tools (dayplanners, digital planners/calendars/etc, and a great amount of praise for whatever was going well, no matter how small. We never allowed the ADD or dyslexia to be used as an excuse for anything.

 

Fortunately, I was an educator (and a single mother) who willingly structured our lives and household to fit his needs. On Mother's Day 2009, he and his wife of 3 years had a gathering at their home to allow me to meets some of his friends/colleagues at the Big 10 University where he's in a 3 year post-doc. All were PhD physicists with 1 a tenured prof. Over the course of the evening, they began to tell me that my son is their "go-to" scientist for his organizational skills, reliability, and execution when dealing with complicated projects and deadlines, and his wife (a highly educated woman with a graduate degree in her own field of medicine) told me he's organized the budget and pays all the bills because he's good at it and likes to do it. Eureka!! Everything we did paid off!  

 

ADD is not an excuse or a "sentence of doom". With the right tools and a lot of hard work ... anything is possible.

 
July 9, 2009, 1:30 pm CDT

ADHD does not mean the person is broken!

Quote From: younglindsay

My husband has ADD and is also dyslexic. He is a successful lawyer, businessman, husband, and loyal friend. ADD does not mean lazy, rude, and disorganized.

Adhd people have many wonderful qualities. As a matter of fact there are many successful, famous people with Adhd.  I believe that without them many of the innovation and inventions would not be around. They are very intelligent, loyal, creative and sensitive and have a great deal to offer society. I believe that the problem is that most people including some doctors do not understand Adhd themselves. There has been a great deal of new research and individuals with the correct diagnosis can now be successful and thrive  in their lives. It all begins with patience, love, understanding and the correct treatment.  I am an Adhd Coach. If you have any more questions email me at debfromatl@yahoo.com

                                                              Sincerely,

                                                              Debbie

 
July 9, 2009, 1:41 pm CDT

Lacking Understanding of Adhd

Quote From: kcasman

I'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 22YRS TO A MAN WITH ADHD.I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WHEN I MARRIED HIM.I DIDN'T KNOW ANYHTING ABOUT ADHD UNTIL OUR OLDEST CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED WITH IT.THEN OUR SECOND CHILD WAS DIAGNOSED ALSO.WITH ALL THE READING I'VE DONE ON THE SUBJECT IT DOES EXPLAIN MY HUSBANDS BEHAVIOR.HE WOULD HAVE SO MANY PROJECTS GOING ON AND NOTHING GETTING DONE AND HIS MEMORY IS TERRIBLE.HE WAS ALSO HYPER.WE HAVE HAD PROBLEMS NOT DIRECTLY WITH ADHD BUT WITH ALOT OF ADHD PEOPLE(MY CHILDRENS PSYCHOLOGIST HAS TOLD ME) ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE ADDICTS.MY HUSBAND IS ADDICTED TO METH.THAT HAS BEEN OUR PROBLEM FOR ALONG TIME.THAT IS WHY I WANT A DIVORCE.I HAVE RECENTLY HAD MY THIRD CHILD AND I REALLY HOPE HE WON'T SUFFER FROM THE SAME THING.

Hi!  I am an Adhd coach.  I would hate for you to blame all of your problems on Adhd because this is just an excuse. Your doctor is halfway correct, but lacks an understanding of Adhd. People with Adhd can often get addictions because they are trying to self medicate themselves. In this case, the meth has probably gotten out of control. I am surprised that your doctor hasn't suggesting getting the proper diagnosis and treatment. If he is treated properly with medication,therapy, coaching, diet, exercise and love and patience, he can improve tremendously and you may even be surprised! I don't know all the other details in your marriage ,but this is a starting point and only that!  I hope that you will be patient and help him get the help that he greatly needs, but  remember he can only be helped if he wants it. If you have any more questions feel free to email me at debfromatl@yahoo.com.

                                                             Sincerely,

                                                              Debbie

 

 
July 9, 2009, 1:45 pm CDT

Diagnosis of ADHD Changed My Life

I am currently a graduate student in a M.A. of Professional Counseling.  When the process first started with my undergrad degree approximately 7 years ago, I could not successfully complete a class without my creativity saving me.  I knew something was wrong and I was completely invested in finally earning a college degree.  After 7 hours of testing, I was diagnosed Combined-Type ADHD (on the more severe end).  About a year later, after working very hard with my incredible psychiatrist, we were able to hone in on the appropriate combination of medications that made it possible for me not only to complete my school work more successfully but I became a better mother, a better friend, a better woman and a better musician.  I was able to see all that was happening in my 11 year marriage to an addict, I could understand my daughters as they told me about their days.  I filed for divorce after adopting my step-daughters and went from a 1.75 to graduate with a B.S. in Psychology with a 3.15 GPA and currently a 3.66 GPA in my masters program.  I can finally understand the world around me and stepped out from behind the smeared patio door where I lived for the first 43 years of my life.  I will be 50 in September and I could not be happier with my life (except it would be nice to loss some weight).  The only thing that I have learned is that the medication inhibits (but not to a great degree) my ability to write my papers.  So I write them at night once my medication has worn off or I do not take my medication for the time I need to write my papers.  This gentleman on your show today could possibly have his life changed, as I did.  I know sometimes that it doesn't work but then again, whats the cost of not trying?  Continuing to live your life behind a sliding glass door that is locked and no matter what chemical may be used for depression, anxiety, etc. just makes it worse.  I actually just wrote a paper on ADHD and Women.  One of my resources was Delivered from Distraction by your guest expert, Dr. Hallowell.

Thank you so much for airing a program such as this so that more individuals are aware of the symptoms and solutions for a condition that can be very detrimental to many aspects of life.
 
July 9, 2009, 1:47 pm CDT

I know exactly how you feel

Quote From: lauralp

I just saw the show on Adults living with ADD. It put alot of things in prespective- The only thing I think Dr Phil could do better with or a different angle is How about the wife having Adult ADD and how that effects a marraige. I know how tough this can be. I'm a female, wife, and mother living with ? Adult ADD I would like DR Phil to have my husband on and discuss how hard it is opn him to be the spouse of someone with ADD. The show did show me that I should persue the final diagnoses To help not only myself but the happieness of my family.
I am a 50 year old woman who was diagnosed with ADHD at 43 years old.  I agree with you that it would be helpful to have the perspective of a woman with ADHD because there are things that are quite different than adult men with ADHD (though my diagnosis is Combined-Type ADHD).
 
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