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Topic : 08/06 Classic Dr. Phil: Is Flirting Good, Clean Fun, Or Can There Be Consequences?

Number of Replies: 39
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Created on : Friday, July 31, 2009, 05:44:45 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/25/02) Dr. Phil takes on incurable flirts! Meet two flirtatious women who admit that they enjoy enticing men, and another woman who’ll give you the lowdown on her “Kissing Bandit Game,” in which she and her friends score points based on how many and what types of men they kiss during a night out. Be there when Dr. Phil’s audience — both wives and girlfriends — express their anger with flirts. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 6, 2009, 3:04 pm CDT

flirting is ok!

I am a flirt, a huge flirt and there is nothing wrong with that. The only time it becomes "rude" or "obnoxious" to flirt is if the person flirting, is doing so with someone who is taken and they know it. That is crossing the line, and that person has no class and no consideration for others. If the flirting is done with someone who's single (and that person is single as well), who's to say it's wrong or inappropriate?

 

I believe there is a fine line between flirting however, and coming onto someone. I think as soon as it becomes physical, that line is being crossed - again nothing wrong with that. Women that hate on other women simply because they are flirtacious and promiscuous, need to get a serious reality check. If you have a man, and he's cheated on you or acted inappropriately with another woman, why on earth would you pin that on the other woman??!!! HE is dating/married to you, not her and it is completely up to him to not flirt in the first place!! Why are women forever blaming eachother and not putting any of it on the guy?? It's truly mind boggling how rediculous some women really are. It is however extremely out of line for a woman to come onto a man if she knows he is dating/married, then I understand the frustration towards the other woman, but don't go yelling at her; HE is to blame!!!!

 
August 6, 2009, 3:20 pm CDT

Right On!

Quote From: mickey310

There is something called boundaries.  The man has boundaries.  The woman has boundaries. These boundaries are formed during our growing years.  When we are old enough to make choices, we then choose what we want for our boundaries.   

   

If you do not like the boundaries you see in the man, do not marry him.  If you do not like the boundaries you see in a woman, do not marry her.  It is pretty simple.  Wouldnt you rather be single and wish you were married than be married and wish you were single?  The emotions of feeling good because you are around a man or a woman or you finally got your partner or whatever emotions you may feel certainly pale against the emotions you will feel if you have been betrayed.   

   

If you choose to marry, talk about the third boundary beforeyou marry.   This third boundary surrounds the married couple.  It is called exclusivity. If either party does not agree on the parameters of the third boundary, then do not marry.   If I remember correctly, there is something in the Jewish culture/religion that says a man should not touch a woman who is not his wife nor should a woman touch a man who is not her husband.   Makes sense to me.  Kind of hard to have sex with someone who you do not touch. Nothing gets started.   If you have that boundary, do not cross over that boundary.  It is so hard to come back.  Should one partner cross that boundary, the other partner has every right to step up and remind the other of the mutual agreement of exclusivity.  Should an outsider step over that boundary into the married couple territory, either party and/or both parties has every right to confront the intruder and send said intruder to the other side of the boundary.   

   

Go to the end result of what you want to happen in your life.  Where do you want to end up?  When something comes along, regardless of howgood it may feel, check it out, rationally.  Ignore the emotions because emotions are subjective, therefore they are untrustworthy as gauges for what is good or bad.   See if it fits, if it will bring about the end result you want in your life.  There are always consequences to every decision you make in your life, whether good or bad.    

   

If it does not fit your plan, then do not do it.  If you do, there is always a price.  You might want to check the price of youraction before you do that action.  If it fits, go for it.  Then you can enjoy thegood emotions that follow without any regret.  

You said it, lady! It's NOT that complicated. And it's totally about boundaries.
 
August 6, 2009, 3:20 pm CDT

kissing game

I think the girl should be educated about diseases. 
 
August 6, 2009, 3:21 pm CDT

08/06 Classic Dr. Phil: Is Flirting Good, Clean Fun, Or Can There Be Consequences?

Quote From: christine0214

Bottom line, if you have a healthy, mature relationship with your man-  no gorgeous, flirty, even aggressive woman can take him away from you. I agree it's tacky and disrespectful for a woman to put her hands (or lips) on another woman's man, but it's no reason to get bent. Don't get caught up in being catty and hateful because that's exactly what these types of people want your reaction to be, it gives them a sense of control and power. DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR POWER to some headcase blonde (or brunette) with exposed cleavage!  Your man is with you because of the way you make (or made) him feel, so if a beautiful stranger makes him feel good for a few seconds by flirting with him...and he's THAT impressed, you're not making him feel wanted regularly enough. There will always be a younger, prettier, bustier, blonder girl around the corner, and your man might even look and elbow his buddy (they're not blind, they're human), it means nothing if you're really taking care of each other and your relationship.

A starving dog on a short leash only wants to find food and run free.....a dog that's well fed and well-loved is the happiest dog in the world.   How's that for a Dr. Phil-ism? :)

 

With some men no matter what you do its never enough  Even if you give him so much to eat that he burst.
 
August 6, 2009, 4:19 pm CDT

Heather the flirt...

Sorry this type of woman PRETENDS to be surprised when women are catty to her. But, she loves it all because she sees it as a part of the conquest.  She cares nothing about the women's feelings no matter how much she denies that.  I've seen so many just like her.  They are a dime a dozen and even my husband is wise to her type.  Even if she marries, she'll continue to crave that kind of attention.  I pity the man she marries and the wives/girlfriends of his friends.  She's also probably a tease which is dangerous. It must be saddening to think the only way you can get attention is to poach on someone else's territory because she can.
 
August 6, 2009, 4:46 pm CDT

Heather the Flirt

Quote From: stevesgirl1986

Sorry this type of woman PRETENDS to be surprised when women are catty to her. But, she loves it all because she sees it as a part of the conquest.  She cares nothing about the women's feelings no matter how much she denies that.  I've seen so many just like her.  They are a dime a dozen and even my husband is wise to her type.  Even if she marries, she'll continue to crave that kind of attention.  I pity the man she marries and the wives/girlfriends of his friends.  She's also probably a tease which is dangerous. It must be saddening to think the only way you can get attention is to poach on someone else's territory because she can.
I agree wholeheartedly! These shallow "Valley-Girl" bimbos are just over-blown teasers/HOs! Their alleged minds are at the lowest levels possible. If they wind up getting sexually abused, I have no sympathy at all! 85% of all women have been sexually abused before the age of 18! It comes out in varying behaviors. Could this be a way of GETTING EVEN????
 
August 6, 2009, 5:13 pm CDT

Flirting

Personally I dont see a huge issue in flirting IF: You are currently single, if the person you are flirting with ISN't standing with another woman, and you don't plan to take them home at the end of the night.  I think there are diffrent levels of flirting. If you are simply having a conversation with someone, and you or him, place a hand on yours, or on your back, thats fine. But if its taken to the next level where you are making out with them or furthur after not knowing the person for very long thats an issue. Not only are you embarrassing your self, them and the people around you but you are giving your self a bad image, that your easy and willing to do everything and anything with anyone.

If a woman was to flirt with my fience and I was standing beside him I wouldnt think twice about saying something to her, and I hope all other women would too, stick up for your self! If a woman flirted with my fience and I wasnt around, I would hope that he would have enough respect for me and our relationship to let her know he's involved with someone.... if  not that would be an issue.

But simpy flirting, I dont think is that big of a problem!!

 
August 6, 2009, 5:33 pm CDT

CO-DEPENDENT?

Quote From: marebear09

I was watching this classic episode and I saw myself in some of the women.  I am also a very good flirt.  Tho I havent had a sexual encounter in over a year.  I am a 29 year old very energetic social person and I am great with all people not just men.  But the attention i get from men I flirt with makes me feel confident.  I used to walk around feeling inadequate about myself.  Not pretty enough not sexy enough always jealous of the women who went for what they wanted.  Not anymore.  I dont think flirting is bad at all.  I think you should definitely keep it to a minimal with married or men in relationships.  But part of being in a relationship is to trust your partner right?  So why do us women get blamed by the girlfriends of these men.  Maybe if they flirted with their man more they wouldnt have to come to me.  Cause face it...men like the attention just as much as we do.
marebear, if all your "confidence" comes from being accepted for being pretty enough or sexy enough, it is a SAD state of affairs! This is the agenda to DIS-EMPOWER co-dependent males, and females, while they are trapped at this instant gratification,materialistic/meat-market mentality. Why do you think most marriages FAIL nowadays? Can you not rise above your "root-chakra" and use some higher forms of LOVE-energies, for virtuous endeavors? Yes V.I.R.T.U.E. !!!! Does anyone know what the term means anymore? The sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, ....... agenda reduces us to less than animals!
 
August 6, 2009, 5:37 pm CDT

Hey Y'all. Dr. Phil is LIVE on his blog and twitter. Hope to see ya there too.



LIFT OFF:
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Cyber flight plans straight from the heart.
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August 6, 2009, 6:37 pm CDT

Flirting

First of all, the woman in the audience who spoke against the redhead's behaviour is NOT jealous.  She is intelligent and can see right through the redhead's game.  So can Dr. Phil for that matter.  The redhead is a classic narcissist (pardon my spelling if that's wrong!) and even the act of appearing on the show feeds her pathetic need for attention.

Secondly, the trashy blond, Hillary, who plays that stupid Kissing  Bandit game (what is she, in grade 7??) should be a little more selective about who she is kissing.  I know she is blonde but you'd think at her age, cuz she's no spring chicken, she would have heard about sexually transmitted diseases and there are some that can be transmitted through saliva/mouth/mucus membranes....

The moral of the story is:  You get what you give.  If you're acting trashy, you're going to get trash in return and should not be surprised when you're treated like trash. 

Don't even get me started on that loser husband who claimed if he couldn't "flirt" anymore, he may as well be dead....I say if he wanted to continue to make out with other women, he never should have gotten married....but like a lot of men, he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

And RIGHT ON, Dr. Phil, for saying that if a women came up out of the blue and kissed you, that Robin would deck her.  You go, Robin!  I'd do the same thing.

 
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