Topic : 09/02 When She's the Breadwinner

Bread Doctor Is Phil/Robin She The When Winner. That is a new one on me but I will get to see it aswell.-

See you on September 02nd, 2009 Wednesday. Sincerley Your.Russell Vlaanderen.-----------------------------

   I just wanted to point out that I have known many women who end up being the main breadwinner, or the sole breadwinner over the years.   I have seen the struggle they have to shift roles.  I have seen them learn to be less emotional in order to tackle that role.  I have seen the guilt that comes from not being the mother who is the one at home with the children....and the resentment that they try so hard to hide about the father of the children NOT having a job that brings in more money.  I have seen the women go from being loving and nurturing toward their men, to being exacting and demanding about the household chores and the particular ways that they themselves would clean or cook or care for the kids.   It is a tough switch.  Men and women are wired differently, and to expect a man to behave like a mother and to do things exactly as she wants them done because now she is at work and he is at home, appears to cause many resentments and hurts on both sides.   I have seen men go from strong and caring and trying to please, to actually walking out on the family  because he cannot make the woman happy any more no matter what he does.  She can push too hard,   There ARE slackers out there, but I have actually seen more men that want to be part of a loving family and who do try to make it all work, but the women change and as they change, they take away the real love and warmth and understanding that they used to have and to display.....it is like getting a different wife sometimes!    I think it is hard on BOTH sides is my point! 

I sometimes feel like that's my plot in life.  I work 3 jobs between a <a href="http://www.getmarried.com/wedding-planning">wedding planning</a> company, a <a href="http://www.audiocake.com">Georgia DJ</a> company and many other offshoots in order to bring a lot of money into the home.  My wife also works, but she went into this strange stage in her life where she just began acting as if she was doing everything and I was doing nothing.  Forget that I have a full time job and that I'm running multiple companies to keep us afloat and to even accommodate the financial improprieties (needless shopping, overspending, etc.), but then I'm preached to constantly about how I don't do enough around the house, that I'm not that affectionate anymore and the list goes on and on. How exactly do you get to be affectionate when you're being yelled at all of the time?  Where do I make time in everything that I'm doing to dust or do windows?  I'm not sharing that she should bear that burden, but the relationship is so lopsided.  Men are no less guilty than women in doing this or assuming that they're not doing enough, but until we remove ourselves from the "me, me, me" attitude and start viewing things through other people's eyes, this kind of thing will never stop.