Topic : 08/15 'Get Off My Back!'

I am writing this to urge Tia to listen to Dr. Phil's advice.  To many it would seem like I had a "perfect" childhood and an almost perfect life of 23 years.  Ever since I can remember I've been told that mediocrity is not acceptable ever.  I was always told that it was the first level of failure and truly believed that.  There are many things on the show that you stated that were alarmingly too close for comfort.  I took all honors courses in high school, received perfect scores on multiple finals, and even received a perfect score on the science part of the ACT's (similar to the SAT's) but never truly felt proud for my achievements. One of the reasons being that those perfect scores paled in comparison to all the attention drawn to a mere score of 90-something on another final.   I had above a 98 average graduating from high school and even took college courses (writing, textual studies, chemistry, and calculus) during my senior year at a "big east" university. I was co-captain of three varsity sports teams and was also vice-president of both National Honor Society and Student Goverment Association, while also being voted onto prom court and homecoming court.  I applied to over fifteen colleges, all of which I was admitted, with the exception of my top choice, Dartmouth.  I chose to attend a very prestigious small new england college with the intent to major in chemistry to pursue a career in biomedical engineering.  My life was all planned out and seemed perfect.  What little knew was that I truly wasn't happy with myself, nor my achievements, always feeling that I wasn't living up to my parents expectations.  I went away to school at the age of eighteen and with the responsibility of being free, I failed miserably.  I drank too much, never studied, and shopped too much.  I was ultimately asked to leave the school.  I then came home and have been in the same rut for the past four years, working as a nanny, living with my parents, and attending school at a local community college where i've only had one successful semester.  It's hard to love yourself when you do well by most standards but feel like you don't make your parents happy but it's even harder to love yourself when you fail.  I have the mentality now that it's better to fail (since you're kind of succeeding in doing poorly) than being mediocre.  I'm writing this to you and to others to stress that you think you're doing the best for your children, urging them to do everything amazingly well, however you're hurting them.  I know my parents raised me the way they did since they love me so much but most of the time that's hard to realize since I hate myself for even tiny things going wrong.  I hope that you can take a step back and look at yourself and realize that your kids are wonderful and that the best they can do is the best for you, that doesn't always mean 100%.  Perfection is all subjective and impossible to achieve.  Two months ago I attempted suicide and am slowly now getting my life back on track.  I have to constantly remind myself that I'm okay the way I am and that I don't have to be perfect.  Please reconsider the way you're parenting so that ten years from now your kids you love so much aren't in my shoes.