Quote From: pwilli1Tia, you ARE my Mother!! I was always expected to be perfect. And Lord knows, I wasn't! I was not allowed to decorate my room in a "teen- age style" - it didn't look like House and Gardens. I was not allowed to make any choices - my Mom picked what I was to wear until I was in high school. If my Mom didn't like my friends, I was not allowed to see them. (One of them grew up to be governor of the state) If I did not make all "A's" my Mom would cry - I felt like a worm.
You know what I did? Because I could not live up to her expectations, I said, "what the heck...." I quit school at 17 and got married - to a man that took over where my Mom left off - assurring me that I was never good enough.
It has been a hard lesson to learn -- I always said said I did not grow up until I was 30 - But I am now a nurse manager - married to a wonderful man.
My Mom is now 80 and I love her very much and we have talked about how controling she was and she said, "I just wanted the best for you. I was just doing what I thought was right."
Tia, you are a very intelligent woman - I know you will do the right thing. You have a beautiful family.
Dr. Phil,
I was watching the update today 8/15, and Im a young woman who was married several years ago, to a man very similiar to the one who was shown today, and shown previously on your show with his wife. I lived the way she did for many years. She defended him and his ways, out of complete fear. Even on your previous show, she backed him, and you told her so. I was there once. I was so afraid to speak up and defend myself for fear of what could happen to me afterwards. Im glad to hear that they seperated for a few weeks, and to have him work on himself. My concern for her is that I was so manipulated (as I was going through counseling with many pastors) as he was saying he was going to change and he did alot of what this man was saying and doing in order to gain his wife back, and to look good again, after being confronted in love, and by so many others. He felt his image was bruised and that bothered him so much, that he looked as if he wanted to change, and presented a picture that really made so many believe in him and took a chance with him that he was on his way from changing, and being the "man" that he wanted to be to his wife. The whole act, was to make himself "shine" again, and then make the women the person who was the problem after he looked good for a temporary period of time to get the spotlight off of him.
I am a daughter of a pastor, and I endured so much just like the woman on your show. After periods of counseling, and seperation, he wanted back, and he made so many believe he was on the beginning of a wonderful changed person. We were all manipulated. Deep down inside he was ashamed and angry for being examined and confronted and I was the one who took the brunt of his anger.
Unfortunately, we were divorced after experiencing such mental and verbal abuse, and physical. Pastors came forward, and said how manipulated they were by the act that was portrayed by the man who claimed to be on his way to changing, and wanting to be less of a control freak, and wanting to be this incredibly and wonderful husband. Just like described on your show.
My concern is for her. I pray with all hope, that he is for "real". She seems to be a wonderful person, im sure with her own set of flaws, but my concern comes in with, what happens after the lights of tv, and confrontation are over, who will know what is really happening behind close doors.
Is he in counseling? Men like these don't change, until they are truly broken inside, and really are desperate for healing, and are willing to stay seperated until there is truly a period of timely change.
Who is concerned enough to keep tabs on updates re: this situation? I know he probobly loves his wife and his little boy, but is it genuine? Has it been proven over time? Is she living in any kind of fear? Is he manipulating even those to prove he is a changed man? Men who are confronted in love, sometimes, are out to make themselves look better again, and begin the slow process of degrading the soul of their mate again, and put so much fear in them, that they are afraid ever again to speak the truth.
I lived that way. But through years of healing and counseling, Im learning to use my voice, and speak my heart in love, and I hope thats what Im doing now.
(Original air date 05/18/05) Dr. Phil talks to controlling, combative, outspoken guests whose loved ones want them off their back! First up, Tia demands perfection from her kids in school, music and sports. She's even picked out the perfect bride for her 14-year-old son! Her husband thinks she needs to lighten up, but will Tia ever change her ways? Then, Dr. Phil follows up with the guest who was called "the worst husband in Dr. Phil history!" Is he still yelling at his wife to shut her "suckhole" ... or did she tell him to get lost? Talk about the show here.
