Quote From: mekm31Why is that the parents of these students (and the schools too) who are bullying are not being held responsible for their children's actions? It starts at home...all of it. It is their responsibility to teach their child what is right and wrong and by allowing and even advocating for their child to have the right to treat others this way, they are telling their children that its OK to tear someone else down so they can feel built up. Maybe if we held the parents and schools criminally responsible these things would stop. Either way something has to happen soon...it is not OK to loose even one more child over this issue.
As for you Tess...keep your head up and know that every-time one of those small minded, insecure girls writes something bad about you on the Internet that you are better than that. Ignoring a bully can sometimes be the most effective route. If they aren't getting the response that they want, and obviously need, they will move on. You are an intelligent, funny and beautiful young lady and should be proud of what you accomplished on this show. You have spoken for millions of other young adults in this country who could not speak for themselves. Way to go!!!
Almost every school district I know of has some kind of bullying policy - ours is called "Aim to be Bully-Free" - and like someone on one of these messages said, they are just words on paper to appease some school board somewhere. Almost everyone you talk to has a story and not much ever changes.
As for holding parents and children accountable - here is my story - I am 49 years old and worked as a coach in our school district for 17 years. At the end of the 2004 school year, I was made aware by an anonymous tip about an internet sight called "Xanga" - it is a journal type thing and you do not need a password or need to be a member to read the entries. People create their own sites and if you know their site name, you can read their journal. Like I said, I received an anonymous email directing me to one of these websites and what I read was shocking to me. A student I had coached for years was posting some very disturbing things about me and my family. She was also involved in some sort of feud with another girl at the school and was using some of the foulest language I had ever read in these posts and was threatening physical violence against this other girl.
Shocked is a mild way to describe what I felt, I think.
I went to school with this girl's mother and left her a phone message and sent her an email saying I needed to speak with her. When I hadn't heard from the mother by the 4th or 5th day, I sent an email to the student - confronting her about what I had read and telling her how upset I was to learn how she really felt about me. Well, guess who was found to be in the wrong by the school board?
That's right - the father called me when his daughter got my email and told me his child, at 15, is not responsible for anything she writes, says, or does. He also told me that I was just as responsible as she was for what she wrote because my rules are too strict. He said he would rather she not use such foul language, but they all talk that way. Unbelievable, right? He told me he had every intention of using this against me and he, his wife and daughter wrote letters and contacted the school board - the result? I resigned from a position I loved and excelled at even though parents and students in our community circulated petitions and appeared at school board meetings on my behalf to ask the school board not to accept my resignation. It was all pointless - they sided with this student and her parents - oh, and the student erased my phone message and deleted my email to her mother.
(Original air date 04/19/05) They're not just lurking on the schoolgrounds. Now, bullies can come into your home and torture your children over e-mail, instant messages and other Web forums. It's an epidemic that has kids withdrawing socially, dropping out of school, and in some cases, tragically taking their own lives. Dr. Phil and his son Jay talk to two teens who can't escape the intimidation and abuse. Then, pop star Clay Aiken, who was picked on as a child, shares how he got the bullying to stop. Share your thoughts here.
