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Topic : 08/16 Bullies

Number of Replies: 127

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Created on : Friday, August 12, 2005, 06:18:21 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original air date 04/19/05) They're not just lurking on the schoolgrounds. Now, bullies can come into your home and torture your children over e-mail, instant messages and other Web forums. It's an epidemic that has kids withdrawing socially, dropping out of school, and in some cases, tragically taking their own lives. Dr. Phil and his son Jay talk to two teens who can't escape the intimidation and abuse. Then, pop star Clay Aiken, who was picked on as a child, shares how he got the bullying to stop. Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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wolfgirl

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August 16, 2005, 3:48 pm PDT

Be The Change

Hi Everyone,

This message is for Dr.Phil, teachers, parents and children. There is an organization called Be The Change that deals with bullies and bullied children in school. They have a workshop called Challenge Day where they go to schools and work with both bullies and the children they're bullying, by the end of the workshop the bullies are hugging the children they bullied the day before. It's a very powerful event for everyone involved and it has proven to be very effective. Although this program is only available in certain states (and some provinces in Canada), it is something that should be implemented in all schools. If more people know about this program hopefully it will be available everywhere and we can really gain control over bullying. Here are the links to this program:

http://www.challengeday.org/

Canadian link:

http://www.challengeday.org/btc_canada/btchome.html

I really hope that this helps some children out there!

Take care everyone and remember to love who you are and don't let anyone take that away from you.

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roxanne33

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angry

August 16, 2005, 3:56 pm PDT

Bullies

I am amazed that the parents of these bullies have taken absolutely ZERO accountibility for thierchildren's behavior. To hear that thier excuses were "kid's will be kid's" or "They have the freedom of free speech" boggles the mind. Those parents need a SERIOUS wake-up call. They are telling thier child that it is OK to treat other people like that. The behavior of these children is a DIRECT reflection of the parent(s). If my child was bullying some other child I would NEVER stand for it. My child WILL know that this is 100% unacceptable behvior and that there are consequences for his actions/choices.

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slim92jlee

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August 16, 2005, 3:57 pm PDT

HOW CAN WE STOP BULLING ON R KEDS

I HAVE HAD TO GO THOUGHT THIS BULLING AT MY GRANDDAUGHTERS SCHOOL AN I HAVE WATCH OTHER KIDS AN MY GRANDAUGHTER SEE IT EVERY DAY NOT TO HER ANY MORE I PUT MY FOOT DOWN IF IT COME UP AGAIN I WELL PRESS CHANGES ON THE GIRLS AN HOLD THE SCHOOL AN PARENTS LABEL FOR LASUIT AN PUT THE SCHOOL UNDER A MICASCOPE AN LET THEM KNOW I AM A SINGLE DISABLE GRANDMOTHER WHO IS BLESS IN RAISING MY GRANDAUGHTER BUT I WELL NOT PUT UP WITH THIS I SEEND HER TO SCHOOL TO LEARN AN TRUST MY SCHOOL TO PERTECK HER NOT SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG AN THAN MAKE IT AS IT WAS HER FOUGHT I WONT TAKE IT NO WAY I CAN BE THERE WORST NIGHTMARE MY CHILD COMES FRIST IN MY LIFE AN THATS MY JOB WE ALL NEED TO PUT OUR FOOT DONW GO TO YOUR LOCAL NEWS PRSS CHARGES DO SOMETHING BEFORE ITS TO LATE BUT MOST OF ALL MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS TO KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN YOUR CHILDS LIFE THEY COME FRIST NOTHING SHOULD BE MORE IMPORTANT I MEAN NOTHING THERE IS NO RESON NOT TO THATS YOUR PRESET LIFE THERE AN IT NEEDS TOSTOP I WANT TO HELP OTHERS ANB SO DOES MY GRANDAUGHTER LETS WORK TOGETHER THIS IS OUR CHILDRED FURTURE SO LET STAND UP AN BY OUR CHILDRED THANK YOU A OLD BUT SINGLE DISABLE GRANDMOTHER RAISNG A CHILD [NICKI]

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snowy332

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August 16, 2005, 4:02 pm PDT

More Work Needs to Be Done

Quote From: can_girl

I'm sorry, but I do believe that self esteem and self confidence are huge in eliminating bullying. I've seen it first hand with friends. When you realize who you are, what people say doesn't matter. Yes, parents need to get more involved and other steps do need to be taken, but first and foremost, kids need to realize who they are.

Bullying IS an epidemic in most of our schools and continues to be ignored by teachers, students and parents. There needs to be more done with this issue. It would have been more helpful to have some answers of what to do in these types of situations. As with the D.A.R.E. programs and such, it would be an enormous support to lots of children to have a school/state run program to put an end to bullying for good.

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leesha

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August 16, 2005, 4:15 pm PDT

Tess

Tess

I can't image how hard it is/was to deal with these bullies... But let me tell you something, you are beautiful, you are special and it's bad you have to go thru this but someday you will be the one helping others get thru it ---- because YOU WILL come out of this okay!!! You have a very supportive family, and great foundation... I feel sorry for all the kids that don't have it... You are awesome... And I hope Dr. Phil does a followup with you in 10 years...

Leesha :-)

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amberita05

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Weird

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August 16, 2005, 4:18 pm PDT

08/16 Bullies

I would like to add, although it may upset some people, that Tess had to have said/did something in the first place. I understand the bullying she is recieving now has gone way too far, but what is pushing these kids to say such mean things about her. I believe that Dr. Phil made Tess out to be an INNOSCENT victim. I don't think she is. From experience, I know she had to have contributed some. Does it deserve all that bullying, NO. But, Tess shouldn't have been made out to be an innoscent victim. I think we only saw half the story.

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dopey757

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angry

August 16, 2005, 4:23 pm PDT

I just don't understand

I don't understand how these parents of the bullies can just sit there and quote the "freedom of speech" crap! There is a definite line between freedom of speech and harassment, these bullies have crossed it. When someone is tracked down over the internet just to give them crap is harassment! I think that these bullies and their parents should have to attend counseling sessions. A child should not have to be pulled out of school because the school district doesn't want to get involved. And that is why my children (when I have them) will not be in public school. If any of these things happened in a private school I can guarantee you that the bullies would be suspended and possibly even expelled!

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bc9701

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August 16, 2005, 4:36 pm PDT

A Word From the Wise...

I sat there today and watched that little boy, and it literally brought tears to my eyes. That little boy was me, 26 years ago. The only difference is that my parents always said "I must be doing something to deserve what I got."

I could go on for hours telling horror stories of my experiences. Instead I'm going to talk about how they stopped.

The day they stopped, I got beat up just like any other day. Except this day I fought back. I fought back until a Vice Principal of my school came and pulled me off the kid.

It was then I realized that bullies don't like being hurt any more than I did.

Now that I'm a parent, AND have been a horrible victim of bullying, I am teaching my daughter to be nice and respectful to everybody. To her everybody is an equal - UNTIL she gets bullied. If she gets pushed, she's allowed to push back harder. If she's hit, she's allowed to hit the kid until that kid doesn't get up. Period.

We as parents can instill all kinds of great advice and "you're a good person, so believe in yourself" dogma into our children, but the reality is that when kids are sitting on your child's chest, having a spitting contest on your child's face, it's pretty hard to reinforce that type of teaching.

All you can do is give them the tools to be able to fight back, and teach them the ability to judge when the right time is to use the tools. That is the ONLY way to stop bullies.

I c

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pepp67

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August 16, 2005, 5:00 pm PDT

for tess

hey tess my name is jimmy im 15 and i saw the dr phill show that was beign aired on bullies. and i herd your story and its just wrong wut kids do in your school. that happens quite a bit in my school over stupid things . if u ever need any body to talk to heres my screen name for aol its jdhjj5 and my email adress is jpepdog10@yahoo.com it would be awesome if we could get together and chat sumtime. im looking forward to chat with you hopefully soon teen from new york

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melaniens

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hopeful

August 16, 2005, 5:06 pm PDT

This sounds like my school life

Quote From: dumbhunkie

Yes--it's an old show -- and an even older problem --and there is no universal solution. My youngest daughter age 16 -- has been attacked at school so often that she will no longer attend---she was forced out of class after class by students who, knowing that she was severely allergic, deliberately sprayed her with fragrance --and all the teachers did was to send her (the victim) to the health odffice--and I got a call that she has had an asthma attack and needed to go home. ---This was nearly every day--so you can imagine how her grades were--to say nothing fo her feelings of insecurity. After contacting everyone I could think of in an effort to get the school's help, I finally was advised to allow the system to give her homebound schooling --my last conversation with the principal centered around the last "attack" she suffered at school ---and his idea of "fixing" the problem was to tell the girls (perps) that they shouldn't do that --and if they did uit again, they would be sent home---yeah right--so my daughter has to stop breathing andthey get to go home --she goes to the hospital ---not a solution. The School Board has r4ecenttly banned the use of aerosol fragrance in the school building --starting this school year---but they banned cekll phones a few years ago --and all the kids carry them anyway--so I have no reason to believe she'll be any safer this year --and that doesn't even consider the emotional impact that being deliberately and repeatedly attacked has done ---she is terrified --and rightly so since it involves her ability to breath

The girl who sent me to the hospital for the last time now has two children and never graduated from high school. I on the other hand am 22 graduated from college and just bought a house on my own. I spent 6th-8th grade crying and hiding from my classmates. I left in 9th grade went to a private school and returned to the public school for the remaining high school years. When I returned I made up my mind to be proud of myself and know that at the end of the day if God was pleased with me that was all that mattered.
I now have to fight my feelings of pride when i go home. All the people who made fun of me and did horrible things are still in our small town and not happy with their lives. I on the other hand am so happy and thankful that this made me stronger.
My mom told me every morning "this to shall pass" and it did.

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