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Topic : 08/18 'Fighting for My Children'

Number of Replies: 106
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Created on : Friday, August 12, 2005, 06:24:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original air date 05/17/05) Dr. Phil sheds light on two custody battles cases that have captured national attention and left the children caught in the crossfire. Michael, Linda and their two kids seemed to be the typical American family, but when the marriage started to crumble, the fight for custody ended up on Court TV. Why did Linda lose her kids to a man who's not their biological father, and is Michael an unfit parent because he used to be a woman? Then, model Bridget Marks made headlines when she was forced to hand over her twin daughters to their father. Tune in for her dramatic update and join the discussion.

 

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August 19, 2005, 3:41 pm CDT

Catfight

One thing too is that this is a CATFIGHT.  It is 2 Women fighting.  True he wants to be dad and appears to be dad.  But biologically since he is a Woman, he is FIGHTING like a woman. 
He still has the emotional make up of a woman and has that maternal instinct.  If he was truly a man this show would perhaps be about trying to get child support from him or trying to get him more involved.  But although he tries to be a man, he still has female emotions.  Yes a CATFIGHT.
 
August 19, 2005, 4:39 pm CDT

Men and Women

Quote From: genderbend

I take issue with you that Michael is a woman.  Aside from basic biology, which Michael has clearly changed, how do you define a woman?  The Supreme Courts of most states haven't been able to define what a woman and a man is, aside from reproduction, so how did you come into this knowledge?  How do you define intersex people, who are born as both sexes in one form or another?  I think you really need to think through these questions of "What is a man?" and "What is a woman?"  Seems simple, but it is anything but...
I don't believ this exuse "I've always felt I was born in the wrong body".   If you are born male, you're male. Your brain is not female or male, it's a general brain and the way you're raised dictates how you see things.  As to intersexed people, that is a medical disability and should be rectified as soon as possible.  But I dont' believe that a brain can be a different gender than a body...it's just an excuse for a person who likes cross dressing or who thinks the other sex is a better choice.
 
August 19, 2005, 4:44 pm CDT

Slander?

Quote From: chicomich

I logged on here because I just finished watching this Tivo-d episode, and was curious to see what others thought. Perhaps I'm naive, but I was so shocked to see so many people focusing on the fact that Michael was born female.   

   

Those kids have been his for 16 years. He adopted them, so obviously Linda has considered him their father. More importantly, THEY consider him their father. Regardless of whether or not you approve of his lifestyle, he is the father they know and love, and to have him denounced as their father after so many years would be cruel.  

   

If they are 16 and 13, as someone on the forums stated, I believe they do have a right to be heard in court. They are more than old enough to have an opinion about what is to happen to them.  

   

Given the limited view of the situation we have been given, it appears to me that they are living with the better caregiver. Their mother seems entirely to bent on proving that her ex-husband is a sinner, and not too inclined to do what is best for her children. The slander she focuses towards Michael must be so hurtful for her children to hear.   

   

Michael, on the other hand, seems to be a good parent. He and his new wife seem to have a very healthy relationship with the children. The children themselves seemed so much more relaxed and happy when they were with Michael. While he has been heard slandering Linda as well, it seemed much more mild (while still wrong!). I appreciated the fact that he seemed abashed at some of the things he had said, while Linda just denied it all.  

   

The children are not going to be winners at all here. If Michael retains custody, Linda will be vindictive, and the children will not only have to put up with their mother's over-the-top religious views, they will also suffer her spite at being the 'loser.' If Linda regains custody, the children will lose the father they seem to love greatly.  

   

On a side note, it must be hard for the children to live with Linda with her new-found religion. They were not raised that way. To have a mother you know and love suddenly become an entirely different person must be very difficult.  I can't imagine she was always righteous, or she would not have married Michael.  

   

Anyway, best of luck to all involved. I hope you all, especially the children, have happy lives.  

   

-Michelle  

   

What slander?  That Michael is a liar?  That's true. She lies about HER gender. When cornered about the so called "slander" her ex-wife used against her, all Michael has to say is that Linda called her "her and She" instead of his and He. That's not slander...that's TRUTH 
 
August 19, 2005, 4:53 pm CDT

Bull

Quote From: chicomich

I logged on here because I just finished watching this Tivo-d episode, and was curious to see what others thought. Perhaps I'm naive, but I was so shocked to see so many people focusing on the fact that Michael was born female.   

   

Those kids have been his for 16 years. He adopted them, so obviously Linda has considered him their father. More importantly, THEY consider him their father. Regardless of whether or not you approve of his lifestyle, he is the father they know and love, and to have him denounced as their father after so many years would be cruel.  

   

If they are 16 and 13, as someone on the forums stated, I believe they do have a right to be heard in court. They are more than old enough to have an opinion about what is to happen to them.  

   

Given the limited view of the situation we have been given, it appears to me that they are living with the better caregiver. Their mother seems entirely to bent on proving that her ex-husband is a sinner, and not too inclined to do what is best for her children. The slander she focuses towards Michael must be so hurtful for her children to hear.   

   

Michael, on the other hand, seems to be a good parent. He and his new wife seem to have a very healthy relationship with the children. The children themselves seemed so much more relaxed and happy when they were with Michael. While he has been heard slandering Linda as well, it seemed much more mild (while still wrong!). I appreciated the fact that he seemed abashed at some of the things he had said, while Linda just denied it all.  

   

The children are not going to be winners at all here. If Michael retains custody, Linda will be vindictive, and the children will not only have to put up with their mother's over-the-top religious views, they will also suffer her spite at being the 'loser.' If Linda regains custody, the children will lose the father they seem to love greatly.  

   

On a side note, it must be hard for the children to live with Linda with her new-found religion. They were not raised that way. To have a mother you know and love suddenly become an entirely different person must be very difficult.  I can't imagine she was always righteous, or she would not have married Michael.  

   

Anyway, best of luck to all involved. I hope you all, especially the children, have happy lives.  

   

-Michelle  

   

Michael denied that she did ANYTHING wrong. Linda at least admitted that she  had made wrong decisions nad done things that she admitted were wrong. All Michael did was demand to bhe called a woman adn try and slander the children's ONLY parent. their mother 

  

 
August 19, 2005, 5:50 pm CDT

I think Linda should have a Baby

I think Linda should have another baby.  I don't know how old you are Linda, but this may be a solution to your very difficult situation.  If you are not married than get sperm from a sperm bank if you don't want to do it the nonChristian way.  This sperm will not have any custody rights.  I am not saying forget your kids.  Soon they will be adults and allowed to make their own decisions.  You are going to fight with Michael about them the rest of your life.  Stop fighting with Michael and have a baby.  This sweet little baby without his DNA or court interferring placement and  will be yours to raise and rear as you please.  And it will draw your other kids back to your too.   And you won't have to fight with Michael or anyone else about your new baby.
 
August 19, 2005, 5:59 pm CDT

Good luck!!!!

Quote From: stokedrave

Anger!!! That makes me so angry. The courts should void that marriage and the adoption because "Michael" is a woman. She is sick and her family is sick get those children away from that nut! She needs serious counseling. How can any court place those children to be raised by someone who isn't sure about their own identity. "Michael" is very sick!  

  

Eight years ago my 4-month-old daughter was kidnapped from me and handed over to her birth father who at the time was 15 years old. I was 18 years old. When I contacted police they informed me that there was no such thing as parental kidnapping in the state of NC. I was forced to hire an attorney; I paid her $750.00. When the court date came around my attorney did not even show up for court and since then has been dis-barred and is nowhere to be found. However, I lost my court case due to lack of proper representation, a then 16 year old boy was awarded custody of my baby girl. He lived with his parents of course, one of which was a convicted felon on multiple charges including trafficking drugs and had spent time in prison on more than one occasion. I was awarded visitation every other weekend from 6:00pm Friday until 6:00pm Sunday. Everytime I attempted to exercise my visitation I was assaulted, threatened, and sometimes not even given the chance to see my daughter. On one such occasion I received a death threat that frightened me into moving out of state.  

To make a very long story short I stayed away from this man for very good reason. I recently learned that he had a crack-cocaine addiction, hit his best-friend in the head with a claw hammer, shot someone, went to prison, was committed to detox, assaulted many people including his own mother, attempted suicide, and one of his more recent actions was to rob the First Citizens Bank on March 16, 2005. Shortly after that he was involved in a shoot-out with the  Police Department in which an officer was forced to shoot and kill him.  

As soon as I learned that he was dead, I felt safe enough to go back and get my daughter who is now almost 8 years old. However, it just wasn't that simple. When he went to detox in 2002 he signed custody over to his parents also a convicted felon and a woman who never even learned to drive a car. Now the grandfather is deceased from heart failure and the grandmother who never even learned to drive a car has custody of my daughter. Now I don't understand how they were able to do this since my parental rights were never terminated and they did not even attempt to locate me to claim my daughter.  

Just to give you a little info about me. I am a full-time college student with two Associate Degrees, and enrolled in an undergraduate program at a private University. I currently maintain a 4.0 GPA and was elected by my student body to serve as the President of the Student Government Association. I also served on the Board of Trustees for the college, am a member of Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society, Who's Who among students in American Junior Colleges, The National Dean's List, and served as a delegate for the North Carolina Comprehensive Community College Student Government Association. I am also a mother of another child who is 3 years old. I am pursuing a Bachelors in Political Science and will eventually attend law school. This insane custody battle over my daughter has inspired a high school drop out to finish high school go to a community college, then a university, and one day a law school. I am determined to practice family law and help families. I am determined to make sure that nothing like happens to anyone else. 

I am an upstanding member of society. All these years my poor little girl has had to endure the wrath of that horrible monster, and even after he is dead I still cannot get my daughter back because the grandmother is fighting me.  It isn't right. 

I can sympathise with you and I hope you and your daughter are reunited very quickly. God bless you :-)
 
August 19, 2005, 7:37 pm CDT

Getting Back Your Daughter

Quote From: stokedrave

Anger!!! That makes me so angry. The courts should void that marriage and the adoption because "Michael" is a woman. She is sick and her family is sick get those children away from that nut! She needs serious counseling. How can any court place those children to be raised by someone who isn't sure about their own identity. "Michael" is very sick!  

  

Eight years ago my 4-month-old daughter was kidnapped from me and handed over to her birth father who at the time was 15 years old. I was 18 years old. When I contacted police they informed me that there was no such thing as parental kidnapping in the state of NC. I was forced to hire an attorney; I paid her $750.00. When the court date came around my attorney did not even show up for court and since then has been dis-barred and is nowhere to be found. However, I lost my court case due to lack of proper representation, a then 16 year old boy was awarded custody of my baby girl. He lived with his parents of course, one of which was a convicted felon on multiple charges including trafficking drugs and had spent time in prison on more than one occasion. I was awarded visitation every other weekend from 6:00pm Friday until 6:00pm Sunday. Everytime I attempted to exercise my visitation I was assaulted, threatened, and sometimes not even given the chance to see my daughter. On one such occasion I received a death threat that frightened me into moving out of state.  

To make a very long story short I stayed away from this man for very good reason. I recently learned that he had a crack-cocaine addiction, hit his best-friend in the head with a claw hammer, shot someone, went to prison, was committed to detox, assaulted many people including his own mother, attempted suicide, and one of his more recent actions was to rob the First Citizens Bank on March 16, 2005. Shortly after that he was involved in a shoot-out with the  Police Department in which an officer was forced to shoot and kill him.  

As soon as I learned that he was dead, I felt safe enough to go back and get my daughter who is now almost 8 years old. However, it just wasn't that simple. When he went to detox in 2002 he signed custody over to his parents also a convicted felon and a woman who never even learned to drive a car. Now the grandfather is deceased from heart failure and the grandmother who never even learned to drive a car has custody of my daughter. Now I don't understand how they were able to do this since my parental rights were never terminated and they did not even attempt to locate me to claim my daughter.  

Just to give you a little info about me. I am a full-time college student with two Associate Degrees, and enrolled in an undergraduate program at a private University. I currently maintain a 4.0 GPA and was elected by my student body to serve as the President of the Student Government Association. I also served on the Board of Trustees for the college, am a member of Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society, Who's Who among students in American Junior Colleges, The National Dean's List, and served as a delegate for the North Carolina Comprehensive Community College Student Government Association. I am also a mother of another child who is 3 years old. I am pursuing a Bachelors in Political Science and will eventually attend law school. This insane custody battle over my daughter has inspired a high school drop out to finish high school go to a community college, then a university, and one day a law school. I am determined to practice family law and help families. I am determined to make sure that nothing like happens to anyone else. 

I am an upstanding member of society. All these years my poor little girl has had to endure the wrath of that horrible monster, and even after he is dead I still cannot get my daughter back because the grandmother is fighting me.  It isn't right. 

I agree that is really sad.  I understand you though.  This is the thing with criminal people:  They know how to talk to the cops and GET AWAY with stuff.  Where honest people just know how to be honest and don't know how to talk to the cops.  They just tell the truth.  Where criminal people lie and don't flinch.   You know one thing I noticed is you said:  You were 18yrs and he was 15yrs.  Although you didn't mention it in your little story.... Have they accused you of child molesting because of the age difference and thus withheld parental rights?  I hate to say it that way because I don't think you are a child molester ok.  That is just how the current courts in their 1950's roots think.  Hello? teenagers have sex.   But in our society if you have a relationship with a minor this is how it is.  Hollywood pumps sex media into our generation and then wonders why kids have voluntary sex.  I think kids over 13 yrs should be held accountable for their sexual actions whereas 8 year olds shouldn't and are mislead.  13 year olds have a mind of their own and will do what ever they want.   Teenagers could go to Alabama and get legally married at age 14 yrs, but if they have a relationship in another state it is criminal.   Perhaps you should use your case and go higher up the courts to set a precidence.
 
August 19, 2005, 7:44 pm CDT

Clarifying I think....

Quote From: jadaok

I guess I'm the only viewer who thinks that a model who sleeps with a married man, and then is found to have lied about the married man molesting their twins, deserves to be on supervised visits.  We're applauding a woman who sleeps with married men, and then gets rich off child support.  Why would anyone think a woman who stands in front of her children making a scene for the cameras calling the kids father right in front of the twins an evil man, deserves custody of the children?  When she was with this married man being irresponsible was he an evil man?  She doesn't deserve custody of her children.  Making the false allegation of sexual abuse is horrible and is considered child abuse.  I'm sure she only got the kids because the millionaire and his wife really didn't want them, but probably just wanted to teach her a lesson about lies and extortion. 
I think the thing is that he wasn't involved at all for a long time or years.  And then he shows up out of the blue and wants custody.  And cold turkey the kids don't know him at all. And then he gets the kids and has nanny's babysit them and doesn't spend any time with them.
 
August 20, 2005, 5:56 am CDT

08/18 'Fighting for My Children'

Quote From: cindy_asch

I cannot believe something like this can happen because a person is a Christian.  Who in their right mind could rule against a mother because of her faith?  This makes me just want to be sick.  And what kind of monster would seek to separate a mother from her children to validate their abnormal life?  Do what you want with your life.  Change your sex through surgury.  Sleep with dogs and cats and sheep, if you want.  Make a huge flag to advertise your choices.   BUT LEAVE A MOTHER AND HER CHILDREN ALONE ! ! !   

wow! good point.Yes you are right on all counts.thanks
 
August 20, 2005, 6:02 am CDT

missjane

Quote From: missjane2

I think Linda should have another baby.  I don't know how old you are Linda, but this may be a solution to your very difficult situation.  If you are not married than get sperm from a sperm bank if you don't want to do it the nonChristian way.  This sperm will not have any custody rights.  I am not saying forget your kids.  Soon they will be adults and allowed to make their own decisions.  You are going to fight with Michael about them the rest of your life.  Stop fighting with Michael and have a baby.  This sweet little baby without his DNA or court interferring placement and  will be yours to raise and rear as you please.  And it will draw your other kids back to your too.   And you won't have to fight with Michael or anyone else about your new baby.
sorry if i misspelled your name.You had better be careful now about the sperm bank and a donor for linda's baby,because now its shown that men go after women for for custody.The show on called "the view"had this topic on not long ago and now fathers of these babies are now coming forward and wanting to share custody because of change of heart.and apparently they can .So why be a donor if you want kids right?go get a woman and have a baby right? well not so because there are men that want to share custody but don't want the woman .Then what?wouldn't suggest a sperm donor to quick.thanks.
 
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