Topic : 08/19 Ask Dr. Phil About Sex

Once again you dropped the ball (although I still love your usual no nonsense, get real advice). This time you let Lori (the older woman) off the hook. Who cares how young two consenting ADULTS are?! That's not the issue.  

  

The issue is this woman is jumping from bed-to-bed! She's not much different than someone who is paid to do so and that goes the same for men who sleep around! You slammed the "swingers" on your past shows, but you went "easy" (no pun intended) on Lori.  

  

Whether we like it or not in this secular society, God had a plan and we know it worked; when people stray from it we see all the dysfunction, disease, abortions, unwanted pregnancies, adultry, divorce and the like.  

  

Yes, Dr. Phil, it's OK to expect people to have great morals and values; it's what makes both people and society better. I pity Lori's son; he is more mature than she. My wish for her is that she sets her ego aside and starts loving herself enough to expect better of her own behavior...and she meets a wonderful, fun, committed man (regardless of his age).  

Having sex with any one other then your spouse is called adultery regardless of how one tries to justify it, it is wrong, it is a sin in God's eyes and it is just plain disgusting and disrespectful to one's partner as well as to themselves. If my husband ever came home and suggested swinging with othr couples, I would not stick around, He would definetly have to make a choice between me and them, would never happen in my home. And even if both were ok with it, still doesn't make it right and mature. Hopping from bed to bed is nothing but a sin, a disgrace and a sign of dissastisfaction in the marriage and the couple needs to communicate and get to the core of the problem. A marriage is about two people, not more and not less, swinging is nothing but a big fat excuse to hop into bed with some one else with out feeling accountability, it is a sluttish (not sure if that is a word or not but there it is) lifestyle and not any better then the prostitute or whore. There is no way of justifying this sin, there is nothing right or mature about it, no wonder the divorce rate is so high and teen pregnancy is such an issue, where is the committment and respect in a marriage and sex is looked upon as "game", not as a blessing and privelege for the marriaed couple. I thank God for a husband who loves and respects me as his wife to keep our relations in the right bedroom and I feel the same, we are committed to each other and no one else. Whatever happened to love, respect, committment and keeping of vows and what is this society teaching our kids? It sure the heck isn't about staying true to your partners..........................................

 Lori doesn't approach the young men, they approach her? Well, duh. She dresses provocatively and goes into "target rich" environments, places where horny young men gather, looking for a one night stand. And, it's obvious the them she's looking for the same thing. Of course, they're going to approach her, wrinkled neck and all. After all, when the lights are off...

I have to agree with flthomcat with a slightly different view.  

   

Simply stated, the son has a problem with his mother dressing and acting like an easy woman.  (Which, sadly, she just about came out and admitted.)  

   

Being with guys his age doesn't seem to be the issue as much as the fact that he grew more mature when he had children, but his mother regressed.  He became the adult of the family trying to reign in a dangerous act or attitude.  

   

Ah well.  I hope that the mother has enough skills of observation to realize that the "Britney Spears" approach doesn't empower her (or any woman of any age!), it takes all respect that others might have for her away.  If she continues, no one will want to be with her because they will think that she is cheap.  She is obviously not, but she looks like she is trying to be.  

   

   

 The reason you don't wear a revealing red dress to a wedding is because the bride is supposed to be the center of attention.  You had your day to be the bride, don't try to steal her thunder.  Any 50 year old should know that piece of ettiquette.

I think that this is disgusting.  How as a mother can Lori live? How hypocritical can a person get.....she raised her son, who even said he was raised well, and it was her responsibility as a mother to teach him to not have sex unless he was married. (That is my personal view--maybe she doesn't believe in sexual morals).  It's disgusting to me that she is sleeping around and casually having one night stands, I don't even care how old her partners are. Bottom line is that it's morally wrong, it's hurting her son, and there are so many dangers that she is casually putting herself and other at risk of. i.e. STD's

We just found out that a relitive that is 70y/o is going out with a 32 y/o man.  I don't think he knows her real age. She could pass for late 50's .  we are more concerned about what motivates the young man. We don't wont her to get hurt. She would not interduce him to us. Another thing that bothers her son and I is the pictures we have seen of him , he looks alot like one of her sons. Is there anything we sound be checking or should we just let her do her thing.

This is true I agree.  Lori: there are rules of ettiquette, that don't have to be wriiten down to follow. There are so many, however, there are two main ones...ironically they have to do with dress code. First of all, you absolutely should never wear white to a wedding, the bride is supposed to be the "pure" being and no one else should take that away. and the number two rule is no one should ever wear BRIGHT RED! red is a symbol of a very unpure person, and not in a good way. some people would use the a different term but I am trying to be nice.

I don't recall in the conversation on the show why Lori is single.  I was divorced at 45 yo and was constantly hit on by MUCH younger 'boys', most of them friends of my son.  Even though it was kind of flattering to me, the last thing I needed was some young kid's problems on top of my own.  I dated several men my age and decided to live the single life because I couldn't find someone who seemed like Mr. right.  However, I did think about the ramifications of not having that guy next to me in bed, holding me, and being there during good and bad times.  To make a long story short, Mr. right came along and I am so happy (emotionally and sexually) that I can't stand it.  Lori comes across as a very agresstive, self confident individual, but I really think she's extremely insecure and needs the younger guys to make her feel like someone 'special'.  Lori, there are SO many FABULOUS guys out there, around your age, who could make you SO happy.  what's gonna happen when you're 62 or 72, not attractive, and alone?????  GET REAL LORI - no man's going to ask you out if you continue to seek out these one night stands with boys.

I just wanted to say that I have seen several of your shows about older woman and younger men and my husband and I always sit and grin when watching them. I am 45 and my husband is 32 and we have been married 10 years. We dated for a year before we married. My mother in law was very against our relationship in the beginning, but I am pleased to say her and I have a wonderful relationship now. My husband and I have 2 children together and my other 3 children from my previous marriage have lived with us since we got married. The oldest being 23. We have a wonderful marriage based on communication and love. I must admit ,we met while we were both in the same profession but not for the same company. So we share the same interest in careers, music, food and hobbies. Maybe we are an exception to the rule but we are very happy to be the exception.