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Topic : 08/19 Ask Dr. Phil About Sex

Number of Replies: 43
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Created on : Friday, August 12, 2005, 06:27:39 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original air date 02/14/05) Imagine if your own mother were dating someone younger than you! What would Dr. Phil say? And, meet a couple on the verge of retirement who fear they may also be retiring their sex life. How can they reconnect in the bedroom? Plus, Cliff and Kim may look like an ordinary all-American couple, but as soon as they put their daughter to bed, they head downstairs to swing with strangers! Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

 

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August 20, 2005, 8:05 pm CDT

08/19 Ask Dr. Phil About Sex

Quote From: puptent

and be responsible like her son.  I don't begrudge anyone of dating -- no matter what the age.  That is each individual's choice but I think she is being to free with herself.  Not only isn't that safe in this day and age but also she should have higher self esteem that to have sex with so many boys err I mean men. (just kidding about the age reference. 

  

Secondly, Kim needs to stop being so selfish and rude to her husband.  She told him he doesn't turn her on...isn't the child that was shown theirs so they must have had sex.... I personally think she isn't satisfied with herself and is looking elsewhere to find that satisfaction.  I also think it is a shame that her husband doesn't just say no but rather is doing something he doesn't feel comfortable doing.   

  

Thirdly, the retired couple was so cute together!  He needs to do things he used to before the kids (I.e ran bathes for her etc.) and she needs to feel better about herself and her body.  As Dr. Phil said "they need to find out who other is all over again."  I think he is 100% right.  You start your relationship as the two of you and if you have kids the relationship shifts to become parents and sometimes you lose site of the relationship between the two of you.  That is why at least once a month, my hubby and I have date night -- we go out and leave our two and four year olds with his daughter who is 16 years old.  We find that sometimes we wend up talking about the kids but it helps us to focus on us and where this family unit came from.  It helps us to remember what it is about each other that we love and why we choose not only to spend our lives together but also why we choose to have a family together. 

  

  

I don't have a problem with two responsible adults dating and being married regardless of their age but I do believe maturity needs to play a part in a good healthy relationship. This older lady definetly needs to look at her self as some one worthy to be loved and accepted for who her true person really is. I think she has some real deep issues that she needs to get beyond as she is stooping to such a low level and ruining her reputation. Maybe by watching herself on the show and the concerns that her son has for her, she will see how she really does disrespect herself and will get the help that she needs to be true to herself and to those around her, Sleeping around definetly is not a way to boost ones ego and self esteem and she needs to realize this and start looking at herself with pride and accept herself as a worthwhile woman born with a purpose and it isn't to satisfy manipulating lustful men out there who will stop at nothing to get what they want.
 
August 20, 2005, 8:11 pm CDT

08/19 Ask Dr. Phil About Sex

Quote From: missjane2

When you come from a Christian or religious background, those who  believe in the Bible verse that says something to the effect of (not quote/and I'm too lazy to go get my Bible right now):  You shouldn't get a divorce EXCEPT for adultery.  Now I don't want to undermine the Word of God in anyway because I believe and respect it.   But if you look at the time that it was written:  2000 years ago versus today.  2000 years ago you didn't have the adultery GREY areas like you do today.  It was black or white.  You were or you weren't.   Now adays..... the GREY areas meaning:  Isn't pornography a form of adultery?  Isn't  telling someone of the opposite sex other than your spouse all the problems about your spouse a form of emotional adultery?  (Didn't they have something called honor 2000 years ago?  My grandparents had it.)  Isn't child molesting adultery?  Isn't practicing gay lifestyle when you are committed to a heterosexual relationship adultery... cheating if your spouse doesn't know?  Isn't Swinging adultery?  Isn't all the places in America you can go and become infatuated with someone other than your spouse adultery?  I know I could list more....    

     

BUT if you or your spouse does any of these or gets addicted and not just the simplest adultery definition of 2 married people having a cheating relationship, Aren't your feelings just as hurt or life as devastated as had they run off?  BUT the Church has CONFUSION on how to counsel these GREY situations.  WHEN THE TRUTH IS NOWADAYS WE LIVE IN AN ADULTEROUS GENERATION.  And honestly I think it is in innocense for some people because you don't have to look very far to find any of these situations.   

   

And this is one reason I like this show because Pastors all over America are approached with these problems that people approach Dr. Phil with and they don't know what to say and often make the situations worse by their advice.   

Yes, the bible was written a long time ago. It was also written by MEN who were fallible, who were politically-motivated, and who considered women property. Additionally, the bible has been revised and translated several times from and into languages that were not always compatible. Finally, there was a politically-motivated editing process that took place over the course of hundreds of years by which various books and writings were left out of the bible because they were considered too inflammatory, most notable perhaps a book believed to be written by Mary Magdalen who, if you pay attention to recent scholarship, is no longer believed to have been a prostitute at all but Jesus' most-trusted confidante and companion and perhaps his wife. We need to live lives of integrity regardless of our religious affiliations. Religions are human constucts anyway, and are flawed systems because of this. A truly moral person doesn't need any man-made notion of "God" to know right from wrong where adultery or anything else is concerned.
 
August 21, 2005, 4:40 am CDT

Replies to those who Replied to My Adultery comment

When I listen to alot of these Dr. Phil shows and all these Crazy situations WHICH ARE MANY, it is EASY to judge things and say they should have and shouldn't have and if it was me I wouldn't have... yada yada  One word I forgot to use in that last post was GUILT.  And with RELIGION if you or your spouse break any of the rules YOU ARE THE GUILTY PARTY REGARDLESS. People judge you, shun you, talk about you without asking you the truth.... I think you should feel GUILTY about what you do.  You shouldn't feel GUILTY about what your spouse does.  Although if your spouse is doing anything rotten:  YOU FEEL BAD and YOU CARRY THE GUILT.  All I know is that when there is a CRAZY situation and people making wrong choices, I know that there are other close people in their life putting a bandaid on their stuff and pressuring them to live up to their standards.  So in front of them they keep there trap shut so as not to offend them even though perhaps they haven't the first clue how to get out of this mess.   Cliff doesn't want to swing.  He shouldn't have to.  His wife wants to.  He shouldn't feel guilty that she wants to.  He should find someone else who won't swing and babysit his kid in a safe home while his soon to be ex wife is out swinging.
 
August 21, 2005, 5:21 am CDT

If this Problem was taken to Church for An Answer

If Cliff went to Church and went to a Pastor or Good, Well meaning church people for an answer.....  And told them everything that was said here on the Dr. Phil show.  They would say something to the effect of Oh no don't get a divorce.  Divorce is adultery.  You must be doing something to have caused your wife to want to swing.  She is swinging because you are not the husband you should be.   When really what Cliff should do is say Look I'm not putting up with this #$%^&.  It's me  or you go do your thing in so many words.  Because isn't he ENABLING her by saying ok, she is really pretty, we have a kid together.... if I do what she wants me to do it will some how get better..... she will love me more.  And She is learning she can get away with this.  And the old saying if he leaves and she comes back then she really loved him and if she doesn't then she never loved you in the first place and you're better off.   And ultimately in the churches eyes he has to COMMIT ADULTERY to GET OUT OF an Adulterous situation and have a monagamous relationship with someone.  And the church will make him feel bad in the process.  So it is being torn.   One Person's Trash is another person's Treasure...   So No technically you shouldn't get a Divorce, BUT you have all these CRAZY situations that need like a big tangled ball of yarn to be untangled.  But sometimes Divorce is the best thing.....
 
August 21, 2005, 2:28 pm CDT

Lori

I really think Lori had no idea how silly , imature and empty headed she appeared on the Show.  The giddy little girl attitude she had may have been thought of as cute when she was 12 or 13.  it appeared that her maturity was arrested there and she never grew up.  The turkey neck and the attitude that she was just a bad girl now was so sickening that I felt like her son would have gladly curled up and slithered off the stage.  We put people in prison who lurk after children that much younger than themselves and all of the sudden this  woman is thinking it is cute to go after young men that are her son's age.  I think we have reached a new low.  I hope Lori will look at the tape of the show and weep.
 
August 21, 2005, 4:30 pm CDT

Cliff and Kim

I hope Cliff and Kim realize that participating in the swingers lifestyle in their home is very endangering to their daugter and not teaching her any morals and values.  I cannot believe they are irresponsible parents. I don't care if they live the swingers lifestyle if they didn't have a daughter at HOME but they do. They do not know these couples and if something happens to their daughter their responsible. Cliff and Kim need to sit down and think their lifestyle choice thru before their daughter gets hurt and endangered further. Cliff and Kim are role models to their daughter and this lifestyle is not teaching their daughter any morals or values. 

  

 
August 22, 2005, 9:07 am CDT

08/19 Ask Dr. Phil About Sex

Quote From: queentween

Why is everyone so upset about a red dress? I love red and wear it a lot, and purple and pink and turquoise and lime green- its color- enjoy it! I will be damned if I will start wearing boring colors because I'm over 40- maybe I won't be picking up younger men, but I don't want to look like the walking dead in black and brown...... 
It isn't the wearing of the red dress. It's the motive behind the wearing if it. And, Lori stated her motive. She'd gone to the wedding wearing the red dress in hopes of finding her next one night stand.
 
August 22, 2005, 11:02 am CDT

Age

Everyone is picking on Lori.  Well I don't think much of the age thing because she is fooling around and not getting married.  I think it is more having things in common and being compatible.  BUT a good idea would be to go to an amusement park and go to one of those little booths that guess your age to win a prize.  And whatever AGE they guess is a pretty good indication of how old everyone else thinks you are too.  I think Lori does look older than her boyfriend; whereas you could have a couple of the same age and the 26 year old looks older than the 52 year old because of genetics or how they take care of themselves.
 
August 22, 2005, 11:19 am CDT

08/19 Ask Dr. Phil About Sex

Quote From: missjane2

Everyone is picking on Lori.  Well I don't think much of the age thing because she is fooling around and not getting married.  I think it is more having things in common and being compatible.  BUT a good idea would be to go to an amusement park and go to one of those little booths that guess your age to win a prize.  And whatever AGE they guess is a pretty good indication of how old everyone else thinks you are too.  I think Lori does look older than her boyfriend; whereas you could have a couple of the same age and the 26 year old looks older than the 52 year old because of genetics or how they take care of themselves.
 Lori's boyfriend? She doesn't have one. She's too busy going to bars and having one night stands to  have a boyfriend. Surely you don't think the young man sitting next to her is her boyfriend! That's her son. And, he's quite disgusted with her extreme sexual promiscuity.
 
August 22, 2005, 2:43 pm CDT

Age

Quote From: ramair

 Lori's boyfriend? She doesn't have one. She's too busy going to bars and having one night stands to  have a boyfriend. Surely you don't think the young man sitting next to her is her boyfriend! That's her son. And, he's quite disgusted with her extreme sexual promiscuity.
But Ramair you are missing my point.  The Point I was trying to make was that you shouldn't base your age on what government records say your age is, but Your Age should be based on what the guy at Disney Land says it is.  Do you get it?
 
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