Topic : 08/25 Alcohol and Abuse

i am a 43 years old woman with 1 child, living in Israel. 

I was drunk a few time in front of my 13 years old son and he is the reason why I now dont drink for over 6 months, go to therapist taking peels going regularily to AA meetings and try to do everything in power to help myself. 

B u t  while I was inside my addiction I could not realize or recognize what I was dooing and I wish I could have spared my son the ordeals he went through. 

B u t I cant. 

At least with us the horrible experiences serve us now to be very close and loving. We love each other very much and are very close to each other as mother and son and I never tried to hide the horrible mental places I have been in. 

At the end of the day it was my son's call I was hearing thru the glass bell I was behind and I thank him for saving me. 

but at the same time I cannot change was happened. I can only change the will that we shall come out stronger than we were before. 

THanks 

Nuty Israeli single mother 

I did not see this show when it aired before, I just caught today's airing.   

I am a wife of a recovering alcoholic, and I have attended Alanon for many years.  I want to thank Dr. Phil for his handling of this show.  I read some of the previous posts in the archives about it and I was shocked at the simple minded responses of some of the viewers.  Alcoholism is cunning, baffling and powerful.  If it could have been fixed and cured, it would have been-  as many intelligent and motivated people have tried over the years and have failed.  You can't "just leave", and you can't "just quit".  It takes a lot of work in accepting your present place, how you got there and making healthy choices about the future to improve the situation.  That applies to the drinker and the spouse. 

I like to compare the family experience in alcoholism to a frog in a pot of water.  If you tossed him into boiling water he'd jump right out and say "no way, I'm not staying in there".  If you put him in lukewarm water, and slowly turn the heat up, he'll accept the slowing changing conditions and be amazed to find himself boiling when that point comes.   

I applaud Dr. Phil because this show is not just about the couple shown, but it reaches out to many, many people across the airwaves who still suffer.  That couple could have been my husband and I had I not been in counselling to deal with my anger and to be appropriately supportive when he did finally seek to change.  Alcoholism thrives in secrecy in isolation - and I thank Dr. Phil for putting it on tv where it can break through to someone who might also need his message. 

Dawn in PA 

all I can say is WOW!!!!  I saw this show the last time it was on, I can't believe how ignorant these people are!!!!!  Especially the wife!   

I would like to know if Dr. Phil is going to have an updated show on this couple or not?   

I'd love to see what has happened since this show originally aired.  While I don't condone drinking I think some how the idea that drinking becomes a diesease kind of makes it explainable.  It's not that it's right but I think I can intellegently understand this is a problem that needs treatment.  But this woman beating him up in front of her kids is just beyond my comprehenion.  How can she not know her kids are there?  And when she says she doesn't stop to see the kids are there all I can think is she needs to stop & look where the kids are!  With the picture of all those bruises she "didn't know?"  How can she not know and exactly where did she think the kids were?   

Of course now I'm 1/2 way through the show & it's clear because Dr. Phil has said she comes from this past & she's punishing her hubby because of her father, but still I'd think as a nurse she'd have access to so much help & she'd have knowledge of some of this stuff herself.  Frankly I don't think the kids should be allowed to remain in the house at all until these 2 get their lives straightened out.  The kids should go to family or friends until at least their mother has her anger issues under control.  Just my 2 cents.    

I watched the show before too .And as far as i'm concerned Sheila should have her nursing licience revoked.She says she was abused at a young age well why continue to abuse if she knows the kids are there.You would think that she would realize the effect thats having on the kids.She says she never sees the kids standing there when she is beating steve and yet she says her house is small she can't get away from him when he's drunk.Well duh! go out of the house leave if you have a temper and god knows she has one.And then she has the gall to say she never saw the kids standing there.I can imagine the abuse those kids saw.I remember one of Sheilas sisters saying here on the old boards that sheila loves those kids and would never hurt them.Hello!!!! the abuse they are seeing is abuse for sure.Those poor kids will need therapy for a long while.I remember also that one had said that Sheila when she goes to work she tunes out what has happened at home and goes to work like nothing ever happened.Thats bull ! i'm sure if she beat the husband and went to work shortly after ,that she would still have anger issues .Who can turn the switch off like that?If she is able to turn it off so easlily well its probably because she is so hard core that it doesn't bother her.Well so much for love for the kids.I know i wouldn't want to be in that hospital when she is there.Please someone let me know where she works ,so that i'll know not to go there if i can help it. 

Steve needs help but not help to the grave and thats where he will end up if sheila don't kill him the alcohol will eventually. they both need some serious counciling.I wonder if they are back together someone also posted that they are seperated and the kids are with her pitty help them if they piss her off and there is no Steve to beat on what she going to do start on them.kids need to be out of there as well as steve.He is by no means inoscent but still don't deserve to be beat on either. 

I just got done watching this show on my tv with my 11 year old daughter by my side.I am so worried about both of those on this show.It is unbleievable that this happens everyday in someone's home.I don't give a damn what he said or she said but I think Dr.Phil was 100% right when he said that she is doing to her husband what she always wanted to do to her father for what she seen as a child.But she has to know that she is letting her daughters see this on a daily basis.I have been a drunk before and haven't had a drink in almost 3 years.I will not say that this has been easy and I cannot say that there isn't a day that goes by that I wouldn't like to have a drink but I have come to relaize that I don't need it,my family and my husband of less then 1 year is more important to me then any bottle ever will be.I love them too much to pick up that bottle.My son who is 9 years old lives with his father because I was such a drunk.I know the feeling of having someone taken from you when you think a bottle is better then they are.My mother was nice enough to have taken my daughter in for those 3 year out of my life and my daugter has told me many times that if I do drink again she will go with her nannie forever.I see my son on a regular basis and my daughter is living with me and my husband which is great with me because I know they still love me no matter what.But I also know that I could've lost everything I have.I went with an abusive man for the 3 years I drank but I beat him as much as he beat me(which I am not proud of) but my children were not there to see it.Only once but I knew after that that I had to get rid of him and not subject my kids to such a thing.When I seen these two on that tv while she was beating him seeing her daughters running out of the room crying and then seeing them walk over their father lying on the floor like it was everyday life was beyond HEART BREAKING I reach out to these kids with my heart and so does my daughter who cried through most of the show not being able to grasp what she was watching.Sometimes live is too hard to deal with but I am hoping that these two adults can get the help they need and with all my heart hope that these 2 little girls can live a normal life.