Topic : 08/29 Secret Lives of Single Moms

I'm not a single mother, but I'm in a relationship with this man and when he met me this year he 'knew I was a escort. I've been doing it for 12 years all together, now I'm trying to get out and trying to work myself out of it. My life has not been easy, and this is all I know and know how to survive at this time. I started out when I was 18 years old after my drunken father threw me out on the streets with no place to go. It was cold outside and felt lost and all a lone on the streets, I’m lucky I’m here and a live to tell you my story. I worked the streets from the age 18-25 years old, it was rough out there and been through hell and back on the streets. I had to drink and do drugs to numb the pain inside and prostitute from the guilt and shame inside. I’ve been ganged raped on the streets and had pimps who raped me too. Been kidnaped on the streets and had a gun put to my head, chloroformed and tied up and he knocked me out several times. I was lucky he never killed me, he threaten to kill me with a gun and threaten to blow my head off if I did not do what he asked me to do. I could go on about this was raped couple more times also after that, I gave up on life and no hope in this world to live. I got out of it when I was 25 years old, then 9 years later got back into it again. I work through the internet now, and the yellow pages making more money, and now I want to stop running in circles with this kind of life style. I’m trying to work myself out of this, but how? I have no other means to support me and don’t know how to hold a job very long. I’m trying to work myself out of this chaos in my life and this job brings chaos in my life and causes me to become numb and shut down then I rage. And on top of this I have all these illnesses on top of it, trying to deal with 5 mental illnesses.  

I read what she had to say to Dr Phil I know how she feels inside.... 

HI MY NAME IS STACY  AND I AM A 31 YEAR OLD MOTHER OF 2 (5YR & 3YR). I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 4 1/2 YEARS TO A WONDERFUL MAN. I PREVIOUSLY HAD BEEN MARRIED 2 TIMES AND OBVIOUSLY DIVORCED. I KNOW I HAVE NO MORE WORSE PROBLEMS THAN ANYONE ELSE. I WAS 18 WHEN I STARTED TAKING VICODIN FOR ENDOMETRIOSIS. I AM THE YOUNGEST OF 5 AND THE ONLY GIRL WITH THE MOST WONDERFUL PARENTS ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR. I ASK MYSELF EVERYDAY WHY WITH THE LOVING HOUSEHOLD I GREW UP IN AND THE CONSTANT PATS WHAT MAKES ME HAVE SUCH A HUGE VOID. I WAS MOLESTED FROM THE AGE OF 5-11YRS BY MY BROTHER AND IN THE PAST YEAR I HAVE COME TO A POINT WHERE I THINK I FORGIVE HIM AND I'M ABLE TO BE IN A ROOM WITH HIM AND NOT BE PISSED OR SCARED. WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY SECOND DIVORCE I STARTED TAKING THE PILLS FOR PLEASURE RATHER THAN PAIN. EVER SINCE I HAVE BEEN IN THIS WIRLWIND OF A LIVING HELL IN MY OWN MIND. I HAVE BEEN TO A CLINIC FOR 2 WEEKS AND SINCE HAVE FAILED MISERABLY 3 TIMES IN RELAPSING.

IN THE PAST 10 DAYS I HAVE BEEN CLEAN. MY HUSBAND FOUND OUT AND WE ARE UNDERSTANDABLE IN TROUBLE WITH OUR MARRIAGE (OBVIOUSLY DUE TO ME). I NEED LOTS OF HELP UNDERSTANDING WHY ? NOT WHY ME, BECAUSE WHY NOT ME? JUST WHY WITH EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED I INSIST ON DESTROYING IT ALL. I REALLY NEED MORE INSIGHT ON WHY WE DO THE THINGS WE DO TO OURSELVES...

I HOPE I CAN MAKE A FEW FRIENDS IN ALL OF THIS. PLEASE GIVE SOME INSIGHT...

THANK YOU