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Topic : 09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Number of Replies: 63
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, August 25, 2005, 04:29:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Women often say, "I wish I was skinny," or "Do I look fat?" But what does it mean for their daughters? Michelle says her 13-year-old, Megan, spends most of her time looking in the mirror and picking herself apart. Her self-hatred is starting to take its toll on their family. Then, Tisha has struggled with her weight and low self-esteem all of her life. Now she fears that she's passing those issues down to her 8-year-old who weighs herself every day and calls herself fat. Plus, 19-year-old Irene lost 80 pounds, but says she's still unhappy. Along with supermodel Daisy Fuentes, Dr. Phil offer tools to help raise your daughter's self-esteem. Talk about the show here.

 

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September 2, 2005, 7:10 am CDT

It's all Michelle's fault!

 What was that "when's the baby due" crack for?  Michelle has completely destroyed her daughter's self-esteem, whether she owns up to it or not, and now shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know what to do!"  You started it, YOU have to fix it!  Get off your butt and DO something!  NOBODY has the right to abuse their child the way you have.  That child is perfect, just the way she is.  CELEBRATE THAT, don't criticize it!
 
September 2, 2005, 8:03 am CDT

What have we done to our children?

How incredibly sad to see these precious children suffering so much, seeing themselves simply as their bodies rather than their minds and hearts.  What is society DOING to our children?  

   

Parents:  

1.  STOP talking negatively about your own bodies!  If you can't say something nice about your body then don't say anything at all.  

2.  Don't allow your children to say negative things about their bodies!  Simply say, "Stop talking like that right now."  You're doing them a favor.  Mean what you say.    

3.  If you have to, take down or conver the mirrors in your house to make the point that you CAN live without constantly self-analyzing your appearance.  It frees up the time for REAL self improvement and growth.  

4.  Start slowly, following your child's lead, and find a way to fit exercise into your days.  

5.  Seek out inspirational people of all sorts and appearances and focus on their accomplishments, completely downplaying their appearances.  This gives children the insight that many people are successful and serve the world in spite of their appearances!  Celebrate the true contributors to our world, rather than the celebrities. 

6.  Ladies - take a cue from the opposite sex.  Men/boys do not sit around talking about and obsessing about how they look.  They tend to accept what is and they use their time to do things that bring them pleasure in the here and now; girls should strive to do the same.  

   

 
September 2, 2005, 9:15 am CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

I am 23 years old and I struggle with my weight everyday. I have 2 younger brothers who are 13 and 10 and everytime i see them they tease and toment me. I am 5'4 and weight 221pounds. I also have had 4 children, with my oldest being 4. I can just imagine the hurt and pain that these younger children go through, if it hurts me this much as an adult.  

I would never talk down to my children. I am full of praise to them and never tell them that they are bad. I can't imagine how some parents can be crule to thier children. They didn't ask to be brought into this world.  

                         

 
September 2, 2005, 10:27 am CDT

Weight

Earlier this year I accidentally found what I call an Anorexia "note" in my teenage daughter's bedroom. It was her written plan of how she was going to lose weight from 95 pounds to her goal weight of 78 pounds.  We went out and had a big talk about this and 2 weeks later she changed her goal weight to 80 pounds which we had another huge talk about this.  It was all about a boy.  The sister of the boy she liked weighed 78 pounds.  My daughter looks good and I told her someday when she is older she is going to wish she could be the size she is right now.  But she doesn't even talk to this boy, but admires him from a distance.  I told her the reason he doesn't like her is because she doesn't talk to him, not because of her weight.   He has had a few girlfriends other than her, but she blames it on her weight.  I also told her she needed to work on cleaning her room, because if she wants a boyfriend with a future these are the important things:  communication and cleanliness......
 
September 2, 2005, 10:44 am CDT

Weight issues.......

Quote From: fuzzytiger

I am 23 years old and I struggle with my weight everyday. I have 2 younger brothers who are 13 and 10 and everytime i see them they tease and toment me. I am 5'4 and weight 221pounds. I also have had 4 children, with my oldest being 4. I can just imagine the hurt and pain that these younger children go through, if it hurts me this much as an adult.  

I would never talk down to my children. I am full of praise to them and never tell them that they are bad. I can't imagine how some parents can be crule to thier children. They didn't ask to be brought into this world.  

                         

Mary, 

Its a shame that your younger brothers torment you every time they see you- where is their mother/guardian, and why doesn't someone teach them manners?! Sometimes family can be even more cruel then strangers. 

You've got your hands full with 4 children, it sounds like you never want them to suffer what you have and you are doing the right thing for them. The mothers on this show today are so self centered and totaly self absorbed. Its unbelievable. I'm so glad that Dr. Phil did a show on this topic because its more widespread then we know. 

  

 
September 2, 2005, 11:31 am CDT

weight problems

I'am so sorry to hear that young girls has these problems, most of the girls are so nice to see, but "everybody" is talking about weight, and what is wrong on there body.  

Here in Holland many girls doesn't eat any more because they want to be "skinny"  

I think that dr Phil and other programs can learn these girls and woman how to manage with this problem.  

Here in every magazine they are talking about a new way to get a super weight, how to lose weight etc. and I think that, that is the problem...the girls only hear stories about how to lose weight and that has to stop  

  

 
September 2, 2005, 11:54 am CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Quote From: jenoc99

Mary, 

Its a shame that your younger brothers torment you every time they see you- where is their mother/guardian, and why doesn't someone teach them manners?! Sometimes family can be even more cruel then strangers. 

You've got your hands full with 4 children, it sounds like you never want them to suffer what you have and you are doing the right thing for them. The mothers on this show today are so self centered and totaly self absorbed. Its unbelievable. I'm so glad that Dr. Phil did a show on this topic because its more widespread then we know. 

  

Beleve you me, they got in some deep trouble. My father got very very upset with them and said it was not nice to play with emotions of someone else.  

I want the best for my children and my 3 stepchildren. I want them to be themselves. Not have to worry about how they look or what people say. It is funnie how my 8 year old stepdaughter can talk back to me and her father and express her feelings yet when it comes to her friends she comes home crying and telling on them.  

People now adays worry so much about what everyone thinks. Who cares. What is that going to solve besides a war within yourself.  

                         Steph 

 
September 2, 2005, 12:20 pm CDT

only human

I have stood in front of the mirror  many times and said that I look like crap, or I was too fat. It wasn't until my daughter said to me "no you don't mommy,you look like me" that I realized that not only was I harming myself but my daughters self image too!! Needless to say, I am very careful about how I criticize myself in front of my children now. It is, I believe only human to look at ourselves and be critical of what we see, but that is not necessarily what our children see. 

 
September 2, 2005, 12:32 pm CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Everyday I hear it at least 5 times, my fiance say to me "hi sexy, your ok" I say I am fat and he gets upset with me.  He says that I am to hard on myself. Everyone has their own demon that they have to battle and I guess that mine is with my weight. We just have to think positive.
 
September 2, 2005, 12:53 pm CDT

I hate myself

Quote From: fuzzytiger

Everyday I hear it at least 5 times, my fiance say to me "hi sexy, your ok" I say I am fat and he gets upset with me.  He says that I am to hard on myself. Everyone has their own demon that they have to battle and I guess that mine is with my weight. We just have to think positive.
you must be very happy with a fiance like him, my husband always told me too that he loved me, I was overweight and that was never  a problem for him,
 
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