Topic : 09/02 "I Hate Myself"

How incredibly sad to see these precious children suffering so much, seeing themselves simply as their bodies rather than their minds and hearts.  What is society DOING to our children?  

Parents:  

1.  STOP talking negatively about your own bodies!  If you can't say something nice about your body then don't say anything at all.  

2.  Don't allow your children to say negative things about their bodies!  Simply say, "Stop talking like that right now."  You're doing them a favor.  Mean what you say.    

3.  If you have to, take down or conver the mirrors in your house to make the point that you CAN live without constantly self-analyzing your appearance.  It frees up the time for REAL self improvement and growth.  

4.  Start slowly, following your child's lead, and find a way to fit exercise into your days.  

5.  Seek out inspirational people of all sorts and appearances and focus on their accomplishments, completely downplaying their appearances.  This gives children the insight that many people are successful and serve the world in spite of their appearances!  Celebrate the true contributors to our world, rather than the celebrities. 

6.  Ladies - take a cue from the opposite sex.  Men/boys do not sit around talking about and obsessing about how they look.  They tend to accept what is and they use their time to do things that bring them pleasure in the here and now; girls should strive to do the same.  

I am 23 years old and I struggle with my weight everyday. I have 2 younger brothers who are 13 and 10 and everytime i see them they tease and toment me. I am 5'4 and weight 221pounds. I also have had 4 children, with my oldest being 4. I can just imagine the hurt and pain that these younger children go through, if it hurts me this much as an adult.  

I would never talk down to my children. I am full of praise to them and never tell them that they are bad. I can't imagine how some parents can be crule to thier children. They didn't ask to be brought into this world.  

Mary, 

Its a shame that your younger brothers torment you every time they see you- where is their mother/guardian, and why doesn't someone teach them manners?! Sometimes family can be even more cruel then strangers. 

You've got your hands full with 4 children, it sounds like you never want them to suffer what you have and you are doing the right thing for them. The mothers on this show today are so self centered and totaly self absorbed. Its unbelievable. I'm so glad that Dr. Phil did a show on this topic because its more widespread then we know. 

I'am so sorry to hear that young girls has these problems, most of the girls are so nice to see, but "everybody" is talking about weight, and what is wrong on there body.  

Here in Holland many girls doesn't eat any more because they want to be "skinny"  

I think that dr Phil and other programs can learn these girls and woman how to manage with this problem.  

Here in every magazine they are talking about a new way to get a super weight, how to lose weight etc. and I think that, that is the problem...the girls only hear stories about how to lose weight and that has to stop  

Beleve you me, they got in some deep trouble. My father got very very upset with them and said it was not nice to play with emotions of someone else.  

I want the best for my children and my 3 stepchildren. I want them to be themselves. Not have to worry about how they look or what people say. It is funnie how my 8 year old stepdaughter can talk back to me and her father and express her feelings yet when it comes to her friends she comes home crying and telling on them.  

People now adays worry so much about what everyone thinks. Who cares. What is that going to solve besides a war within yourself.  

                         Steph 

I have stood in front of the mirror  many times and said that I look like crap, or I was too fat. It wasn't until my daughter said to me "no you don't mommy,you look like me" that I realized that not only was I harming myself but my daughters self image too!! Needless to say, I am very careful about how I criticize myself in front of my children now. It is, I believe only human to look at ourselves and be critical of what we see, but that is not necessarily what our children see.