Message Boards

Topic : 09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Number of Replies: 63
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, August 25, 2005, 04:29:48 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Women often say, "I wish I was skinny," or "Do I look fat?" But what does it mean for their daughters? Michelle says her 13-year-old, Megan, spends most of her time looking in the mirror and picking herself apart. Her self-hatred is starting to take its toll on their family. Then, Tisha has struggled with her weight and low self-esteem all of her life. Now she fears that she's passing those issues down to her 8-year-old who weighs herself every day and calls herself fat. Plus, 19-year-old Irene lost 80 pounds, but says she's still unhappy. Along with supermodel Daisy Fuentes, Dr. Phil offer tools to help raise your daughter's self-esteem. Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More September 2005 Show Boards.


As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

September 3, 2005, 3:54 pm CDT

Megan's horrible mom

I was appalled to watch Megan's mom Michelle on the tape of them at home.  How dare she say those things to her daughter.  It is her fault for what Megan is feeling.  How in the world can you look at your own young daughter and ask her when is the baby due?  Michelle also told her to keep her stomach sucked in and then it won't be so bad.  Michelle told Dr. Phil she tells her daughter she is beautiful, I didn't hear her once say that on the tape.  So who's fault is it that Megan has fatty foods to eat, he mother said if you think your fat, cut out the fatty foods.  What kind of food does Michelle buy and keep at the house, how does Michelle try and teach her daughter to eat better.  Michelle had a lot of nerve to sit there and start to cry about her daughter when she had the nerve to say that crap to her daughter.  

Dr. Phil, you usually pin down what type of person someone is and you tell them the truth, but you really missed it with this mom.  If this mom was protective of her daughter then she never would of asked her when the baby is due.  I am so disappointed that you didn't let this mom have it, you should of ripped her up one side and down the other.  I would love the chance to let this mom have it and tell her how it really is.  

 
September 3, 2005, 4:02 pm CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Quote From: bonmac

I agree with you.   I'm not buying that the first mother was "protective"; asking when the baby is due is absolute ridicule and very immature.  I was surprised that Dr. Phil tried to make excuses for the mother by having her appear sympathetic, like she was well meaning.  Maybe I'm being judgmental, but the mother resembled a hard, unsympathetic woman whom I, even as an adult, wouldn't want to show any weakness around for fear of being stomped on.   It has to be difficult for a daughter suffering from low self-esteem to have a mother who is little more than just another bully.   That daughter would have a lot of undiscovered talents but I remembered thinking when I saw her playing basketball that she'll never have the confidence to try to find her talent in front of a mother who puts her down.   Our family had a 23-year-old woman relative die from anorexia earlier this year, so I just flinched when I heard that mother's remarks.
I was also surprised at Dr. Phil on this one.  I really thought he was going to lay into her and he told her she was protective, that was a joke.  If she is protective I would hate to see her unprotective towards her daughter.
 
September 5, 2005, 10:54 pm CDT

We are all to blame

I think it is very easy to say that the Mom's on the show are completely to blame for their childrens depression, however there is a lot more to it.  As parents, we have a responsibility to teach our children to love themselves and, as I am sure most parents would agree, we see our children as flawless.  However, we cannot go to school with them and stop the teasing and abuse, or sit with our children on the bus to ensure that our kids are not being mistreated...(trust me, if I could I would).  Sure our kids occasionally hear us say negative things, but it is the peers and the supermodels and the need for a boy/girl friend that fuels the desire the look perfect.  I have a 5 year old little girl who recently started school.  Until the day she started I never heard anything about kids making fun of her, but now she is very concerned about it.  They learn quickly that there is a lot of pressure not to be noticed...to be normal by societies standards. 

  

I always had low self-esteem and trust me my mother did not.  She has always been very confident about her appearance, so I never remember her standing in front of a mirror obsessing about how bad she looked.  However, that didn't change the fact that I came home crying from school more times than I like to admit.  Sure she would tell me I was beautiful, but your mom is supposed to say that...right?   

  

I think Tisha is doing a wonderful job with Kayla.  Sure there are issues to deal with about self-esteem, but I do not know many families that do not have the same issues.  Tisha encourages Kayla and loves Kayla.  Not to mention, that Tisha looked beautiful and should not worry about her looks. 

  

I guess what I am saying is that maybe we should stop bashing the mothers trying to help their kids deal with depression and start bashing the parents that do nothing when they know their kids are the bully at school and do nothing.  Let's stop putting so much importance on looking like a supermodel.  Our girls need to learn that they have more to offer this world than eye candy for men.     

 
September 6, 2005, 8:02 am CDT

You can't blame Michelle

Quote From: jbmarcus

I was appalled to watch Megan's mom Michelle on the tape of them at home.  How dare she say those things to her daughter.  It is her fault for what Megan is feeling.  How in the world can you look at your own young daughter and ask her when is the baby due?  Michelle also told her to keep her stomach sucked in and then it won't be so bad.  Michelle told Dr. Phil she tells her daughter she is beautiful, I didn't hear her once say that on the tape.  So who's fault is it that Megan has fatty foods to eat, he mother said if you think your fat, cut out the fatty foods.  What kind of food does Michelle buy and keep at the house, how does Michelle try and teach her daughter to eat better.  Michelle had a lot of nerve to sit there and start to cry about her daughter when she had the nerve to say that crap to her daughter.  

Dr. Phil, you usually pin down what type of person someone is and you tell them the truth, but you really missed it with this mom.  If this mom was protective of her daughter then she never would of asked her when the baby is due.  I am so disappointed that you didn't let this mom have it, you should of ripped her up one side and down the other.  I would love the chance to let this mom have it and tell her how it really is.  

You can not completely blame Michelle.  The tape for the show is editted.  She obviously cares about her daughter or she would not be sitting on the Dr. Phil stage.  Her daughter was more upset about what the kids were saying.  I agree that she should watch what she says but I don't think that she deserves all the blame.  Dr. Phil seemed to have felt the same way. 

  

Besides, Meagan is not overweight.  It is hard for a parent to know what goes on inside a child's head.  She looks at her daughter and sees a beautiful, healthy girl.  Why should she worry about eating habits when Meagan is not overweight? 

 
September 7, 2005, 3:54 am CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

I SAW A DR.PHIL COMMERCIAL ABOUT A GIRL WHO HAD A SKIN DISEASE AND HER MOTHER WAS SAYING HOW EMBARRASSED SHE WAS TO BE HER MOM. I HAVE CHECKED ONLINE AND I CANT SEEM TO FIND THE STORY. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN THAT SHOW AIRED OR WHEN IT IS GOING TO??
 
September 7, 2005, 7:19 pm CDT

Anorexia Signs Continue.....

Quote From: missjane2

She is 14 and 5' 4''.  We have a reasonably peaceful relationship.  She is a quiet girl.  She is very messy though, messier than her 3 little brothers put together.  This confuses me because she gets good grades.  But this weight thing is all about a boy.  I mean in her note she had a list of all the things she had to do if she ate something she shouldn't like do 100 sit ups or 10 laps around the track.  And a list of all the reasons she wanted to lose this weight including this boy who really doesn't know she exists because she doesn't talk to him.  And probably has no clue she is busy losing weight for him.  Thanks.
Ok Ducchess 1.  I took my little girl out shopping for school clothes this week..... AND She was trying on clothes.  She tried on a size 0 and a size 1.... AND ALL I SAID was:  "Why don't you try on a size 2, those other two are a little snug."  And she broke down into tears and said She needs to lose weight.  You know I don't know what to do with her.  I have been trying to talk to her, but I don't know if I should get her involved in anything else.... or if this is just teenage normal and she will grow out of it..... NOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH A SIZE 2?  And it is SIZE 2 JUNIORS at that?
 
September 9, 2005, 12:45 pm CDT

Beauty

I just wanted to let megan know that I think she is extremely brave as well as beautiful! To go on TV and address these issues was very coragous of her. I was also teased as a child but because I was too SKINY and very short. (as an adult I am only 4'9) However don't ever let anyone else determine who are what you are. If they call you names and make fun of you that only shows what kind of a person they are NOT you. Surround yourself with things and people who are positive and love you for who you are. I know how it is to want to be part of the popular crowd but always be looking on from the outside. I made my own popular group and led a very happy school life even though I was teased up till the day I graduated. My friends stood up for me and helped me stand up for myself. Always hold your head up high and live your dreams!!! 

  

Angela 

a*k*a 

shortie, shortstuff, midge, midget, dwarf, nerd, bookworm, stick, stickbug 

 
September 9, 2005, 4:58 pm CDT

09/02 "I Hate Myself"

Quote From: rebelgirl

Lately i've been growing a strong hate for people that make clothes.
One of my biggest problems is trying to find pants that fit.  Being 4'9" it is very hard to find pants that are short enough, and having more round legs than most short people do, it just makes it that much harder to find pants, either the waist is to big or they are to long, or the pants are way to much money that could be spend better in something else. I've given up trying to find female pants that fit.     My father being a shorter man has always had the same problem as i do, all the pants he owns he has to either roll them up or hem them.   I do know that there is a Mens big and tall, but why don't they have a Mens big and short? And why isn't there a store for females that really have bodies and you don't have to spend your whole paycheck on getting one pair of pants? It seems that alot of people making clothes think that everyone female is rich, 5'5" and weigh 100, i just don't understand how this can be done and be getting away with it so easy.

From a small town in michigan
Sincerely
a perturbed farm girl

I'm short too! I've grown an inch in like 3 years! I'm 4'11. It's hard to find pants to fit me also. My mom has to hem a lot of them. I know at American Eagle they have petite sizes. And at Aeropostale they have short sizes. The AE petites fit me great, but the Aero short, are still too long.  

  

I think there should be a few stores, JUST for short people. That would be awesome!  

 
September 10, 2005, 11:18 am CDT

distorted self body image

Quote From: missjane2

Earlier this year I accidentally found what I call an Anorexia "note" in my teenage daughter's bedroom. It was her written plan of how she was going to lose weight from 95 pounds to her goal weight of 78 pounds.  We went out and had a big talk about this and 2 weeks later she changed her goal weight to 80 pounds which we had another huge talk about this.  It was all about a boy.  The sister of the boy she liked weighed 78 pounds.  My daughter looks good and I told her someday when she is older she is going to wish she could be the size she is right now.  But she doesn't even talk to this boy, but admires him from a distance.  I told her the reason he doesn't like her is because she doesn't talk to him, not because of her weight.   He has had a few girlfriends other than her, but she blames it on her weight.  I also told her she needed to work on cleaning her room, because if she wants a boyfriend with a future these are the important things:  communication and cleanliness......

If she is activley doing things to lose weight like excesive exercise, vomitting, not eating, taking laxatives etc it is time for medical help while she is still at a healthy weight and before the anoerxia sets in and becomes full blown. SOunds like she has self-seteem issues. 

  

I would find a psychologist who deals with eating disorders. They have great programs out there. 

Also she needs to see someone regarding her self-esteem issues so she can begin to look at herself and love herself. 

  

My daughter was losing weight at 14 5'4" her lowest was under 100 pounds close to 90. 

But through counseling and working with these people she is better now. 

  

JMO 

Tammy 

 
September 10, 2005, 12:22 pm CDT

Thanks

Quote From: tammyo1973

If she is activley doing things to lose weight like excesive exercise, vomitting, not eating, taking laxatives etc it is time for medical help while she is still at a healthy weight and before the anoerxia sets in and becomes full blown. SOunds like she has self-seteem issues. 

  

I would find a psychologist who deals with eating disorders. They have great programs out there. 

Also she needs to see someone regarding her self-esteem issues so she can begin to look at herself and love herself. 

  

My daughter was losing weight at 14 5'4" her lowest was under 100 pounds close to 90. 

But through counseling and working with these people she is better now. 

  

JMO 

Tammy 

Yeah... just watching and waiting.  Right now her new goal weight is 88 pounds.  So we have moved up 10 pounds.  It just took 3 months......  I saw in the previews next week there is an anorexia show on Weds which I think I will tape record for her because she will be in school.  She just wants to be a size 0 or size 1 like all the rest of the girls at school.  Do the boys at school care if she is a size 1?  No.  But Thankyou for your suggestions.
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Next | Last