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Topic : 09/05 Phobias

Number of Replies: 117
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Created on : Friday, September 02, 2005, 11:04:09 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Imagine having an overwhelming, irrational fear that dominates your day-to-day life. Monica is petrified of leaving her house and being separated from her husband, who actually quit his job to stay home with her. For Michelle, it's small pieces of paper that leave her physically ill, while Pam is so terrified of birds that she'll only leave the house at night. Find out what Carey is deathly afraid of and if it even prevented her from getting on the plane to come see Dr. Phil! How can these guests get on with their lives and learn to control their phobias? Share your stories and talk about the show here.

 

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September 9, 2005, 9:50 am CDT

So sorry for you, Help is out there!

Quote From: domoore

 I just wanted to say that I myself am in the same situation.I am an agoraphobic.My husband just left me one week ago.We also have 3 children.He said i was always angry.We were together for 14 1/2 years and he said says he is done with me but i am trying my hardest to get out more and take medication I want to get better for my self.I know its not going to happen over nite but i have lost my world and I want it back.I think i was hitting rock bottom and i needed a wake up call,which i got one but he also left me at the same time.I know the biggest thing he said was he did'nt have freedom to do things with his friends and have a real life he said he was just used to this kind of life and enough was enough.I have only been agoraphobic for 8 yrs now,but i do drive a little bit.I know how i got my illness and it was due to having an allergic reaction to some medications and now i am so petrified to take any kind of meds,but i have to if i want to get mylife and husband back,if there still is a chance.I myself rite now is a basket case I have reached out for help for many years and there is noone to help you for this kind of a illness,and i think that is partly why i hit rock bottom.But i have had enough i want my life back i am still young enough to enjoy my kids and be happy again..I know i have been very depressed and now of course it is even worse for me rite now.well i hope some one reads this and has a idea for me or some kind of medical treatment..
Thank you,
Lisa

Lisa,  

First of all, I want to encourage you to hang in there. Husbands who take vows" for better or worse  

and in sickness and in health," do not leave their wives, if they love them.. Have you ever taken your husband to therapy with you for one session? This could have helped him to understand it more. he should have a life and be with his friends, even if you can't always go, until you are better.  

My advice is go to a good professional Doctor who can give you therapy and medication. Sometimes it takes a while to get the medication right and adjusted, please be patient and try.. Let your husband go with you for your first visit, if it is not too late with him.Some states have professionals  

that help you and adjust payment as to what you can afford to pay.  

Also, I read someone say that faith will cure this, well you can use that but you can't wish this problem away. This problem affects all kinds of people, usually those very gifted and outgoing even can experience this, so do not think you are the only one. Stress sometimes brings this on, after a  

period of many years of stress due to being left alone, worrying or things you don't even know that can cause it. It can run in families also. So please know there is help out there and God helps those who help themselves, true! So YOU make this effort to start doing things your Dr tells you and take the medication. I am convinced you can do this! Good Luck and God Bless You! You are not alone in this.  

 
September 9, 2005, 10:06 am CDT

Tammy , so sorry,,,,

Quote From: tammyo1973

My phobia's are real and I do try everyday to go out into public and I think you are ridiculous. My phobia is the result of verbal and emotional abuse. I grew up believing I was no good, would not be liked by anybody, couldn't do anything right. 

  

Hearing those words and much worse than I put in this post are the ONLY reason I have phobias and have a hard time trying anything new, even going to a store without someone to go with me is hard. 

  

I feel every look my way is a judgment and feel most people think I am doing something wrong. 


So try and have a little more understanding of where these phobias come from. People do not just make these things up. 

Tammy 

Tammy,  

There is help out there for you. Don't let what others say bother you. Go to a real professional Doctor who can give you therapy and medications that you may need. you can't wish this problem away. It doesn't matter what the cause is now, it can run in families. The main thing is to know there is help out there! Your real friends will understand, those that don't, you don't need their advice anyway..a good thing to do until therapy, is to divert your attention, when you feel panic...listen to some music etc.. relax more..Know that the feelings are REAL, but it wont kill you. Relax when you feel panic and breathe deep tummy breaths.. I wish you good luckj and success.. you can do this  

with help.. Your feelings are real, it's just that some people do not understand this problem.  

It's not lack of faith either. Don't let anyone put that on you. Seek Therapy and medication if need be, and good luck and God Bless you Tammy!  

 
September 9, 2005, 4:10 pm CDT

someone wants to help

Quote From: evamarion

I am 60 years old and have had agaraphobia for the last i years. I panic everytime I get dressed to go anywhere. I will make a million excused why I can wait and do it another day until my back is against the wall and I have no choice. I have anxiety so bad that I run from it by telling myself, I don't need things but I know thats just a lie. I was very active before this, and it  makes me so angry because I'm a people person and I've shut out the world trying to cope with this on my own. I went to therapy for years but it didn't seem to help much. I would love to be able to share with someone about how I can get my life back. I didn't get to be this old to deserve nothing more than just stay in and not live.  It' like I'm just existing and I would love to be able to be with people and laugh and dance the way I used to before this anxiety and panic struck me.
I read your posting and wanted to let you know that there is someone here who wrote about their son's generalized anxiety disorder and wants to start a support group.  I have emailed him to participate myself (a fellow agorophobic) and can't wait for the group to get to 10 people so we can get things rolling.  the email address is rowdens@shaw.ca - give it a try and let's all hope that life can get back to the way it was.
 
September 11, 2005, 12:33 pm CDT

my husband

my name is Angela, I'm 19 and have a 4 month old daughter and a 5 year old step son and my husband is agoraphobic. when we met i knew he couldn't leave the small town of of Ohio that we live in, but he promised me that he would work at getting better. well we've been together for a year and 9 months and been married for 9 months and things are worse than they wore when we got together. you see i work 30 hours a week so that we can have a place of our own to live and he can finish college through the mail and take care of our daughter and since he's home all the time his agoraphobia has gotten worse. He has a panic attack going to his doctor which is a two minute drive or less. His doctor has changed his medicine and that doesn't seem to be helping at all... He doesn't get to see his son anymore because his mother says that she's afraid that he'll have a panic attack while his son's here and he won't be able to take care of him. he missed his son's first day of school, his missed almost every doctors appointment for his daughter and he has missed most of his family functions because of this... i don't know what to do about this problem because he won't try and he does seem like he wants to get any better... i don't want him to miss anymore of his son's life and i don't want him to miss his daughter's life and I'm afraid that if things keep going like they have been I'm going to go crazy!    

 
September 11, 2005, 9:28 pm CDT

Thanks for the website

Quote From: manthy

Thank you so much for the website.  I have registered.  I hope we can stay in touch through this.  I will comb through the website and pray for help.  I have to rely on my Higher Power to help me through this and thank  you for your help as well.  I want to get over it. 
I was amazed last week when i saw someone else had this issue. i truly thought I was the only one. I think my fear might be a little different, because I fear that when I see someone getting sick or has been sick that I am going to catch whatever they have. And I HATE throwing up so much I will do just about anything to stop it.

With three children it is extremely hard to deal with. I feel like such an unloving mother when they are sick with a stomach bug. I immediately start to feel sick myself and panic that I am going to catch whatever they have. I have struggled with this for years and find it very hard now with children. I am to look at the website and hopefully will find support and hints for dealing with this, because it really is out of control.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your illness. It has made me feel a little less crazy.
 
September 12, 2005, 1:43 pm CDT

i'm not the only one!!!

Quote From: tfulton

I was amazed last week when i saw someone else had this issue. i truly thought I was the only one. I think my fear might be a little different, because I fear that when I see someone getting sick or has been sick that I am going to catch whatever they have. And I HATE throwing up so much I will do just about anything to stop it.

With three children it is extremely hard to deal with. I feel like such an unloving mother when they are sick with a stomach bug. I immediately start to feel sick myself and panic that I am going to catch whatever they have. I have struggled with this for years and find it very hard now with children. I am to look at the website and hopefully will find support and hints for dealing with this, because it really is out of control.

Thanks to all of you for sharing your illness. It has made me feel a little less crazy.
What a relief to find out I'm not the only one!!  I have been afraid of throw up (someone else doing it or myself) for as long as I can remember and for years I have hidden it because of the shame and embarrasment.  My entire social life in grammar school was destroyed because of this fear.  I would prop books up all over the group table because I was afraid that someone would get sick.  I remember the teacher talking to my mom about it because I was hurting other kids' feelings.  I have quit daycare jobs because of my fear and I put off having children because of it.  This is something I never admitted to anyone until recently for fear that people would laugh at me or think I'm terrible.  It does help to talk to good friends and Prozac is great.  When I was medicated my daughter got sick and my heart actually didn't feel like it was going to leap out of my chest!  It is easier now that she's older because I hand her a bowl.  She's very good about getting it in the bowl and it eases my loss of control feelings a little.  Now, however, I am pregnant and stopped taking the medicine for fear of harming the baby.  I am doing fine so far, but am dreading the winter season.  I refuse to share drinks with my family and I keep the sanitary gel and antibacterial wipes in business.  I will keep checking this message board, it helps greatly with my anxiety!
 
September 12, 2005, 1:52 pm CDT

09/05 Phobias

Quote From: anxious

I did not see the show but my mother had told me about it and I wanted to read to see if I could find someone with the same phobia.  I am 32 now and can remember being petrified of frogs and toads since I was 14yrs old.  I remember playing with them when I was young, and I remember the boys playing around and flinging them at the girls.  I have a near panic attack when I encounter one... sometimes I freeze other times I run like there is no tomorrow.  I know they cannot hurt me, and its hard for people to understand.  It causes anxiety when I go to pool partys, or outdoor events.  I think its even harder now with the kids.. because I cannot run away from them.  I tried Zoloft.. a couple of therapy sessions but stopped out of embarrassment.  There is no possible way I could do exposure therapy.  Does anyone out there have this phobia and know why????
my husband hates frogs, he jumps when he sees one.  he does take antidepressant, so maybe that helps a little.  so don't think your'e the only one.  i know how that feels, i'm afraid of barf, how weird is that?
 
September 13, 2005, 9:05 pm CDT

why phobias aren't you?

When someone is often aware of and affected by the personal differences or the outstanding or unique qualities of their current state of being like phobias or allergies which are specific to themselves and unusually and obsessively attention taking must they inform everyone nearby of their difficulty so that a sensitive caring empathetic person is drained to be so concerned when the problem (which may or may not be treatable) is just a statement about I AM ME? Celebrating the event "out loud" might be a statement of " this is a part of my identity" and if those affected would take an interest in things other than themselves the symptoms may subside, I guess. I've noticed that allergies might be real not brought on by some concious thinking but phobias seem to be a bit of a "put on" to me.
 
September 17, 2005, 9:28 am CDT

thank you

Quote From: missymamaw

Lisa,  

First of all, I want to encourage you to hang in there. Husbands who take vows" for better or worse  

and in sickness and in health," do not leave their wives, if they love them.. Have you ever taken your husband to therapy with you for one session? This could have helped him to understand it more. he should have a life and be with his friends, even if you can't always go, until you are better.  

My advice is go to a good professional Doctor who can give you therapy and medication. Sometimes it takes a while to get the medication right and adjusted, please be patient and try.. Let your husband go with you for your first visit, if it is not too late with him.Some states have professionals  

that help you and adjust payment as to what you can afford to pay.  

Also, I read someone say that faith will cure this, well you can use that but you can't wish this problem away. This problem affects all kinds of people, usually those very gifted and outgoing even can experience this, so do not think you are the only one. Stress sometimes brings this on, after a  

period of many years of stress due to being left alone, worrying or things you don't even know that can cause it. It can run in families also. So please know there is help out there and God helps those who help themselves, true! So YOU make this effort to start doing things your Dr tells you and take the medication. I am convinced you can do this! Good Luck and God Bless You! You are not alone in this.  

 Missy,
Thank you for responding to my post.I ended up taking the medications.I was not allergic to them thank god.As for my husband,well he is still gone and says he dont want the same life we had(which honestly we couldnt anyhow after this happened) so we are over.But i do love him with all my heart.I didnt like him going out with his friends only because he was like my security.He is now going out with his friends and trying to be happy .Me on the other hand have made more progress than ever since he left,the doc thinks it was because of my husband that i stayed like this,he might be rite.But i have decided my children and I must come first before hubby.Its like that saying if you love something set it free.I have been going further and further each passing day.I have made goals and stuck to them.I mentally already feel better about myself,and i actually have been driving without the meds ,thats even better for me.Everyone has always told me that i am the strongest person they know and a fighter which i think i am.anyhow just wanted to give u an update and to say thank you very much..
Lisa
 
September 18, 2005, 11:37 pm CDT

09/05 Phobias

Water I am terrified of a large pools of water. several years ago a girl was laying in the bottom of a 4 ft pool she fell off a raft no one saw her go down.   I was not thinking when I went in to the pool. Oh my God shes gonna die was the only thing that went through my head. I was terrified for her safety. After she was safe I was freaking out because I was still in the pool. I do not think I will ever over come my fears. But in a time of crisis I can control them for a bit
 
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