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Topic : 09/05 Phobias

Number of Replies: 117

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Created on : Friday, September 02, 2005, 11:04:09 am

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Imagine having an overwhelming, irrational fear that dominates your day-to-day life. Monica is petrified of leaving her house and being separated from her husband, who actually quit his job to stay home with her. For Michelle, it's small pieces of paper that leave her physically ill, while Pam is so terrified of birds that she'll only leave the house at night. Find out what Carey is deathly afraid of and if it even prevented her from getting on the plane to come see Dr. Phil! How can these guests get on with their lives and learn to control their phobias? Share your stories and talk about the show here.

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mommyash

Message Emote
confused

September 20, 2005, 5:09 pm PDT

emetophobia

I know im a little late, but i hope people are still reading this. I am 21 years old and have been living with this for as long as I can remember. I also thought I was the only person in the world with this phobia. I feel like im crazy. I would love to talk with anyone who can help or share with me their stories and ways they are dealing with this problem. PLEASE HELP!!!!! Thanks, Ashley Ashyfernandez@yahoo.com

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amychelle1

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Stressed

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September 23, 2005, 6:39 pm PDT

i know my phobia is out of contrtol

Quote From: hnybz25

What a relief to find out I'm not the only one!! I have been afraid of throw up (someone else doing it or myself) for as long as I can remember and for years I have hidden it because of the shame and embarrasment. My entire social life in grammar school was destroyed because of this fear. I would prop books up all over the group table because I was afraid that someone would get sick. I remember the teacher talking to my mom about it because I was hurting other kids' feelings. I have quit daycare jobs because of my fear and I put off having children because of it. This is something I never admitted to anyone until recently for fear that people would laugh at me or think I'm terrible. It does help to talk to good friends and Prozac is great. When I was medicated my daughter got sick and my heart actually didn't feel like it was going to leap out of my chest! It is easier now that she's older because I hand her a bowl. She's very good about getting it in the bowl and it eases my loss of control feelings a little. Now, however, I am pregnant and stopped taking the medicine for fear of harming the baby. I am doing fine so far, but am dreading the winter season. I refuse to share drinks with my family and I keep the sanitary gel and antibacterial wipes in business. I will keep checking this message board, it helps greatly with my anxiety!

I know mine is out of control. When my oldest son was in daycare i went to pick him up and found out another child had gotten sick in the room earlier that day, when we got home i made him stand outside with a towel on his face and sprayed him with lysol and then had him strip and then put him in the bath tub, thinking i could spray and wash all those germs off of him. To me it worked he did not get sick but it did not stop me from going into a panic for the next 3 days. I know i was wrong but could not stop thinking that i was going to be the next one to get it. It has gotten so bad that the kids are afraid to tell me when they don't feel well. I have slept out in our garage to get away from the germs. I have had to have friends come over and help me while my husband was gone. My heart races, I pace and cry and act like a complete idiot. I am terrified to be around my family or anyone else for that matter. When i finally realized it was getting more and more out of control was when i lost so much weight. In less than a year i went from 122 pounds down to 97 pounds. We had the stomach bug going around bad, and like she said "if I on't eat I wont get sick". Everyone else caught it but me, and i think it just feeds my fear more!!!!! I am in fear of the colder months!!!

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jakesmom

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Happy

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hopeful

September 26, 2005, 11:24 am PDT

Been there

Quote From: domoore

Missy,
Thank you for responding to my post.I ended up taking the medications.I was not allergic to them thank god.As for my husband,well he is still gone and says he dont want the same life we had(which honestly we couldnt anyhow after this happened) so we are over.But i do love him with all my heart.I didnt like him going out with his friends only because he was like my security.He is now going out with his friends and trying to be happy .Me on the other hand have made more progress than ever since he left,the doc thinks it was because of my husband that i stayed like this,he might be rite.But i have decided my children and I must come first before hubby.Its like that saying if you love something set it free.I have been going further and further each passing day.I have made goals and stuck to them.I mentally already feel better about myself,and i actually have been driving without the meds ,thats even better for me.Everyone has always told me that i am the strongest person they know and a fighter which i think i am.anyhow just wanted to give u an update and to say thank you very much..
Lisa

Hi Lisa -

I just joined the boards and just wanted to say that I suffered from Panic Attacks and agoraphobia for many years before I got help. You definitely want to get on an anti-depressant first because you can't face your fears if you're constantly down. Zoloft worked for me. I then found a behaviour therapist and worked really hard for a long time to get around our city on my own. To this day, I don't drive but I can pretty much face everything else.

I know how hard it can be for people to understand - my husband didn't understand how the outgoing fearless woman he had married became scared of going to the corner store. It put a big strain on our relationship but so far, we've made it through. Take care of yourself and your children and know that this can be beaten. You have to stop "what if" thinking and really understand the nature of this illness and how it can change your thought process. There are some great books on the subject if you don't have access to/or can afford a behaviour therapist.

Good luck, hang in there and know that you are from alone.

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workingk9

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September 27, 2005, 7:14 am PDT

It's Carey

Quote From: hunny7784

I am a 21 year old emetophobic, and have been this way since I was in 2nd grade. I am not sure what exactly triggered this fear but I do remember a time before that when I was not afraid of vomit. I am relieved in a sense, to know that there is someone out there who also experiences what I experience. It completely takes over my life, and I do not go a day without thinking about whether I'm going to be sick or not. My fear definitely accelerates in more foreign surroundings and that is when more anxiety takes flight. The worst time is when a family member gets sick however. It completely consumes every breath of me. My habits take a turn for the worst so as to avoid the contagious germs. I also have this immense sense of guilt for people who vomit because to me, it is the worst feeling in the world. I have no idea how to go about curing this phobia because it doesn't seem like there are specialists out there who know how I am feeling. You really don't know what a phobia is like until you have to constatnly deal with one...I'm sure all of you can relate to that.

Hi there,

I can't beleive the response that the show has gotten on this site. This is Carey-- the emetophobe from the show. It was only 8 years ago that I thought I was the only person in the world with this phobia.....now, thanks to the internet, I found that not only does my phobia have a name, but I have made many friends all over the world on the various emet message boards & support groups I have joined. My biggest goal when I decided to do the show was to reach out to the other emets who didn't even know that this terrible phobia has a name and that you aren't alone.

An update on myself: I got pregnant a few short weeks after we taped the show last October and on August 10th, 2005 I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The pregnancy was horrible-- much worse than with my 1st son. I had all day sickness for about 4-5 months, and then I still had nausea off & on the remainder of the pregnancy.

I hope someday to be able to fly to LA and do an update show.

There are some famous faces to emetophobia: Denise Richards, Matt Lauer & Joan Baez are all emetophobes.

Take care,

Carey

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workingk9

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September 27, 2005, 7:18 am PDT

You're not alone

Quote From: paula1267

I'm a 37 yr. old female who's lived with this same phobia pretty much my entire life and i'm not sure what triggered it. I'm sure most people hate vomiting but what makes it that we are so deathly afraid of it??? I literally runs my life! It definitely keeps me from living (what i feel is) a normal life. I have passed on many vacation trips due to it...sadly, i will not have children because of it, for fear of morning sickness, let alone the fact that small children vomit quite frequently, and what kind of mother would i be when i would want to run away when the poor child gets sick? :-( I even become fearful of going to church now because once a poor man suffered what i believe was a heart attack and started vomiting and eventually was taken away by ambulance. That event replays in my mind each time in church and at times it brings on horrible anxiety attacks to the point where i want to just run out of there, but the thought of people seeing me leave brings on another fear, that of embarrassing myself. So i can surely relate to your situation, hunny!! I feel too, like certain therapies that cure most phobics, just could not cure one like ours! Such as the desensitization terapy...what do they think they're going to do...make us vomit until we're desensitized??? I THINK NOT!! It's a bummer that you and I, along with others who share our specific phobia cannot get together whenever we want to, although it's sure comforting to know we are not alone in this. May God bless you, and may He one day grant us a miracle, which is freedom of this paralyzing fear!!

Hi Paula,

This is Carey from the show. I totally relate to your fear! Probably the biggest thing this phobia holds me back from doing is traveling. My husband travels frequently for work and always wants me to come along. He flies to beautiful places like Vegas, California, Florida & New England. All places I would love to go but can't at this time due to my phobia. As I'm sure you saw on the show, I don't fear flying, I fear getting airsick or seeing others around me airsick. Someday I WILL overcome this phobia, or at least learn how to manage it so I am able to travel and see the world!

I agree that desensitization and exposure therapy do not work for emetophobia-- it's an internal phobia, as opposed to an external phobia, and one that is not easily treated. Dr Phil sent me to a hypnotherapist. I was only able to go a few times before I got pregnant and had to stop going because I felt sick and wouldn't leave the house. Now that I have had my baby, I am going to contact the DR again and hope that he will still treat me, as I believe it was helping. I no longer freak out at the thought of flying-- in fact, it excites me, now I just have to start out slow-- maybe go for a 45 minute plane ride, then work my way up to longer and longer ones...

take care,
Carey

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workingk9

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September 27, 2005, 7:22 am PDT

I'm proud of you!

Quote From: michou

I too understand what living with emetophobia is like. I am a 28 year old emetophobe wo has lived in fear every single solitary day for the last 22 years of my life with my anxiety at its worst for the last 2 years. Like the rest of us, I am embarrased to share this with people unless absolutely necessary and I was thrilled to know that I am not alone. I see myself as a "freak" and as "crazy" and I know only too well how irrational this phobia is. I am a junior high teacher and have to be a teacher at this level because I feel that my students have enough of an understanding of their bodies to leave the room if they are sick. I love my job, but now I even fear field trips with my students because I had a student get motion sick on a bus last year. I identify with Carey completely because I just returned from my honeymoon to Europe for three weeks on which I thought about people being sick on the plane the whole time(of course it never happened!). I am tired of living like this and I won't take it anymore. I have begun to seek help and have been going to a cognitive behavioural therapist since January. I don't notice any major changes yet because of course because it takes a long time to unravel 22 years of avoidance behaviours, but I am learning to look at the positives in a perceived "threatening" situation, to reduce the anticipation of worrying that someone will throw up that causes 97% percent of my anxiety (think about it, how many times do we worry and how many times is it actually warranted?) and to reinforce myself for the chances I do take. For example, I did get on the plane for my honeymoon, I did survive my student getting sick on the bus and this summer, I was able to teach summer school to 6 and 7 year olds for a month (this was a very threatening situation for me), and most recently I started some exposure therapy; that is, I have been able to look at some pictures of people actually throwing up and have been able to keep my anxiety level down. This phobia is all about the fear of not being in control for me and I'm hoping that one day soon I will be in control of my anxiety and will be able to cope. I don't expect miracles, just a chance at a normal life. It would be nice to think "Ew, gross!" and not "Danger! Danger! Danger!" when someone gets sick.

Hang in there all of you, I'm trying!

this is Carey from the show. I am so happy to read that you have overcome emet in some ways and allowed yourself to do some great things-- like your honeymoon! Someday I hope to be able to fly to Europe and even Australia! Keep up the great job!

Carey

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workingk9

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September 27, 2005, 7:29 am PDT

Happy for you

Quote From: drbobbi

I am absolutely disgusted to hear that that lady is on disability and welfare because of this phobia of not being able to go outside. It is absolutely ridiculous. If she was living in another country where other people wouldnt baby her, and support this stupid reason for attention.

I think the rest of these people have phobias because they can. They have nothing better to do. If they were busy with something else, they wouldnt have time to make up these ridiculous phobias.

DrBobbi,

I am so sad happy that you have never had to experience the crippling fear of a debilitating phobia. I sure wish that what you say is the case-- that I have my phobia "because I can", because I "have nothing better to do"......that couldn't be further from the truth, but I understand your frustration-- it is very, very difficult to understand that which we cannot see or feel. Trust me, though, I believe every single one of us with phobias would GLADLY give them up if only we could.

I have plenty to keep me busy: 2 young sons, a husband, going to college, showing my dogs, etc, etc......yet this phobia (emetophobia) dominates my life at every turn. Hopefully someday, I will conquer it.

Carey

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workingk9

Message Emote

September 27, 2005, 7:39 am PDT

Emet support

Quote From: artist

I would love to stay in touch. I haven't known anyone with this phobia and it's a relief to hear of others with the same problem. I don't know if you are interested but praying has helped a lot. I had an opportunity to go on a trip oversees once and I was terrified. I prayed for months and when the time came I had the thought that I wanted to have fun like everyone else and to go ahead and take the risk. On the most part I had peace during that trip. To cover up my fear while flying or eating strange things I made jokes about it. I've come a long way. In my 20's I couldn't have done that!!!!! My 20's was the worse time of my life with this and as I said, I still have it, it's just I run to God and plead for help now. But I need to find a good therapist that specializes in this disorder.

For those who are interested, there are many emetophobia support groups on the internet. Just go to google or yahoogroups and type in emetophobia. I'm a member of several.

Carey from the show

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workingk9

Message Emote
hopeful

September 27, 2005, 7:47 am PDT

Support groups

Quote From: manthy

I was so "comforted" to know that there are other people who have this phobia. I had never heard of it and even though I have been to more than one therapist, none of them had ever told me there is actually a name for it. This phobia is destroying my sanity and I am afraid. I don't want to live like this another day. I want help and I'm willing to do whatever I can to overcome it. It interferes with absolutely every thing I do 24 hours a day. Sometimes I even dream about it in my sleep. It's all-encompassing. It rules my life. It scares me. It's horrible. I would like to know what others have done to survive it and more importantly, overcome it. Please share with me. Is anyone aware of a support group for this or would you be interested in starting one via email. Please write. I need to stay in touch with those of you who really understand what I'm talking about and feeling. Help!

If the message boards allow, I will post my email address for anyone interested in joining an emet support group. My email is IveyLeagueKennel@aol.com

If this post doesn't go through, I'm assuming they don't want you to be able to access me directly, although I don't know why....

Carey

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pinetree

User Mood
Peaceful

Message Emote
hopeful

November 13, 2005, 12:41 pm PST

Free CBT course offered on line

Hi everyone,

I have been offer Free CBT on line for 9 weeks, and presently have 25 people registered. It is going extremely well, and because the need is so great I have decided to offer the course to anyone suffering from any form of anxiety. For more information e-mail me at: rowdens@shaw.ca

Anxiety disorders can be beaten. My son suffered from GAD and Agoraphobia for over 43 years and has overcome it. If he can so can you.

Pat

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