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Topic : 09/07 Dark Family Secrets

Number of Replies: 216
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, September 02, 2005, 11:04:45 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1

After years of suffering in silence, a family turns to Dr. Phil for help on a forbidden topic. Their silence stems from years of incest that took place between all five siblings. Becky, the oldest sister, is terrified those years of molestation and pain could cause her younger brother, Kenny, to die on the streets as a homeless drug addict. Find out what happens when Kenny faces his brothers and sisters as they confront their incestuous past. Plus, Alexis wants help with a heart-breaking secret. Her father got her pregnant eight times, beginning when she was just 15. Her children don't know that their grandfather is also their dad. Should Alexis tell them? Talk about the show here.

 

Find out what happened on the show.

 

More September 2005 Show Boards.

 

Chat with others on the Childhood Sexual Abuse Support message board.


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November 15, 2005, 6:36 am CST

The Past

Quote From: luka1978nl

[quoteWhy spend our adulthoods, hacking up our childhoods. Why contstantly talk about someone or something that happened when you were 6,7,8, when you are now 36,37,38. It doesnt effect the other person any. Theres nothing you can do about it now. You cant change the fact it happend. so whats the point of reliving it and reissuing it. Lifes to short  to sit in a negative pool. Do something  for your future, you cant turn back time and go to your past.[/quote 

  

I want to leave my past, but my past doesn't want to leave me... 

There is no coming to consciousness without pain.
Author: 
Carl Jung
 

There is a reason our past stays with us...something needs to be tended to with intention...we need to feel our pain ...we need to ride that wave...we supressed if for a time but that eventually becomes futile as we tire and our pain demands to be "felt".  

  

Fear and all things that come from it ...shame, denial, anger, rage, regret, guilt, etc. needs to be confronted or fear will rule us. 

  

It takes extreme courage to face your past and anyone who is on this message board expressing anything...even a fear to face their past ...is couragous...because they've acknowledged the need ...even if they don't know how to do it yet...healing will come!   Be patient with yourself. 

  

 
November 21, 2005, 8:28 pm CST

new person

Hi all 

  

I am new to the message boards....I just want to introduce myself to everyone. I am a 38 yr old female from Canada. I am single with no children.  I have decided to get help for myself.  I am tired of the same old life patterns. I want a better me......actually what I truly want is to just feel completely happy. This I have found out is not an easy battle to win. I was sexually abused by my father when I was 7 and by my brother when I was 10.  I have recently found out that I have dissassociative emotions....what a coping skill that is!  What is happening is my feelings are starting to come out and I have no idea how to cope.....is there anyone out there that has this too? Can you share your experience with me? Help is what I really want.....thanks for reading talk to you all soon 

  

 
November 22, 2005, 8:11 am CST

annieisme

Quote From: annieisme

Hi all 

  

I am new to the message boards....I just want to introduce myself to everyone. I am a 38 yr old female from Canada. I am single with no children.  I have decided to get help for myself.  I am tired of the same old life patterns. I want a better me......actually what I truly want is to just feel completely happy. This I have found out is not an easy battle to win. I was sexually abused by my father when I was 7 and by my brother when I was 10.  I have recently found out that I have dissassociative emotions....what a coping skill that is!  What is happening is my feelings are starting to come out and I have no idea how to cope.....is there anyone out there that has this too? Can you share your experience with me? Help is what I really want.....thanks for reading talk to you all soon 

  

There are others and if you want you can come to the Sexual Abuse board, it is under support on the main message board (under health, then support). Or just click on the link above the messages that says CHAT WITH OTHERS ON THE SEXUAL ABUSE BOARD. 

Dissociative is quite the coping skill, it actually helped you when you were being abused. The hard part is finding that it is no longer useful and stopping it can be hard sometimes.  

You are right too, it can be hard to keep things hidden, they come out. It seems that we can go so long running/hiding and then it seems impossible to do. Dr. Phil has said that healing from this kind of abuse can not be done by yourself and you need professional help. We can be a good support for you and you will never feel like you are the only one, because we have all been there. 

  

Take care!! 

  

mj 

 
December 12, 2005, 3:47 pm CST

Name of Book Quoted

In this episode Dr Phil quoted a name of a book towards the end of the show. About a man that was in war prison, a story of how he stayed strong, not letting anybody break his spirit and breaking a visous cycle of torment? Dr phil said it was a must read! Unfortunately I didn't catch the name or author and I have checked the transcripts of the show and it is not there. Does anybody  know the name of this book? 

 
May 22, 2007, 12:59 am CDT

My dark secret

I am a child from incest... My mother  was molested by her father  and  i was conceived.. I was put up for adoption at 3 weeks of age.. I only recently found out of  my incest.. I have lost a lot through knowledge of this.. My partner left me due to him feeling like i was dirty.. Iam trying to come to terms with this but having a rough time.. I have mixed feelings.. My real mother refuses to know me as she looks at me and the abuse is relived... I  have a few health problems from incest but other than that iam fairly normal.. Not mentally though.. Incest is a subject that is not spoken off.. And it needs to be so people can be helped

 
February 21, 2008, 6:53 pm CST

Unbelievable

Quote From: missjane2

To me this show was TMI:  TOO MUCH INFORMATION  I think it is really sad.  I can't remember when stuff like this started coming out of the closet.  There was a time when it wasn't discussed and then all of a sudden was.  I know when I started having kids I was protective of my children and haven't had any incidents.  If I would have caught someone hurting my child in this way I probably would have hit them (although I am not a violent person).  If I had any reservation about my babysitters or the young boys they babysat... I wouldn't let my kids stay there.  Kids should be playing with toys and not having sex.  And this is something I think about this family:  as children they should have been playing with toys.  I feel bad about hearing it.  I don't want to know it.  I think the hard thing is that our society gauks these people which I think PREVENTS their recovery.  And now they did this as children, and are TALKING about it as ADULTS....  I think they should regress and do the things they should have been doing as KIDS like:  Play putt putt golf, swimming or bowling or things like that.... hobbies....  I just hope they don't carry it the rest of their lives.....and can get past it........
You don't want to know it. Are you kidding me? Poor you for having to simply 'hear' about the things these children experienced. As a victim of sexual abuse by a family member I can rightly say that it is people like you that do nothing for the children. I hope there are no vicitms out there wanting to tell and no longer carry this burden that have come across your response. Reading what you wrote it would probably scare them into silence. Of course it's sad, and they will carry it the rest of their lives. These things don't go away. You can heal, don't get me wrong but it will never go away. That is why we as a society should be more understanding and accepting of people who have gone through sexual abuse. If you tell them you wish you didn't know it and that you remember a time when these things weren't discussed you can count on them doing just that. Keeping it all inside. I can personally say it is just like a splinter in your finger. All it does is fester and fester and get more and more painful until you get it out. I'm sorry I have to take this out on you. Possibly it is because my own grandmother told me that I should have just taken it to the grave. Wow. I can never explain to you the amount of pain she inflicted when she told me she would rather not know.
 
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