Quote From: ach_techThe segment where Jay dressed up as a not so attractive guy reminded me so much of my daily life it was unreal.
With the exeption of the hair style, Jay's appearance when he was dressed up was a lot like mine. I am overweight, I wear the same style of pants and button-up shirts, and have eyeglasses.
The hardest part of the whole thing is that I am going to be 28 and I have yet to find a girl who is interested in me. No one wants to look pat my weight and realize that I am more than just "That big guy".
And it frustrates me even more when I see nice girls dating or matrried to guys that treat them like garbage.
People don't realize how hard it is when you are single. Imagine having no one to be with on the holdiays, no one to come home to and talk about your day, no one to comfort you during the times that you are depressed or sad and no one to share your general every day life and interests.
This is how it is for me, every single day.
All my life I have dreamed of marrying a nice girl, buying a house, having a family and sharing life together. But here I am soon to be 28, and still have yet to find someone who is interested in me because I don't have the looks.
So many people, my own family included keep telling me to stop eating so much and go to a diet center and re-learn how to eat and start losing weight. (Unfortunatly, this is the ONLY reason I'm over weight. If I would get on the stick and eat right, I would probably be at least 125 pounds lighter.)
But if you look at that video of how Jay was treated, and think about what it would be like to live this life every day, what initiative would you have if you were in my shoes? There's nothing to live for, so why bother?
I think it must have taken a lot of courage for you to post your feelings on the subject. I am glad that Dr. Phil's show drew attention to the fact that it is not only women who are judged on looks. I feel for your situation, and can sympathize to some extent. My advice to you would be to encourage you to lose weight- not only because it will increase your chances of meeting someone, but because of the numerous health issues you are going to have as a result of being overweight at such a young age.
Men and women are initially drawn to people based on looks. It is a fact, and anyone who denies it is either in denial or is too attractive to have ever been rejected based on their looks. Once you make the outside look better, you will increase your chances of meeting someone who can then get to know you for everything else you have to offer. I suspect from your post that you are intelligent and quite warm, and would have a lot to offer a girl. Looks are part of the package, though, and you need to come to terms with that. The better you take care of yourself, the better equipped you will be to enter a relationship. Additionally, as you start to lose weight, you will likely develop more confidence which will in turn help you approach women with greater ease. I, too, have been rejected throughout my life based on my looks. I am not facially attractive, but have always tried to maintain myself from the neck down in order to feel better about myself. I don't attract a lot of men, but the few I do attract are not superficial men wrapped up in obtaining "arm candy". My current boyfriend says he fell for me because of my great sense of humor and ability to have intellectually stimulating conversation.
Remember- no one stays beautiful forever. Looks do fade (despite all the modern day surgical conveniences), and the most important part of meeting a mate is having other qualities to offer. Best of luck to you!
(Original Air Date: 09/16/05) How important do you think looks really are? And, do you think attractive people get treated better in society? Dr. Phil's son, Jay, goes out in disguise to see if people really do judge a book by its cover. You won't believe the results, nor the response that surprised him the most! Plus, Debi favors her older daughter because she’s "beautiful" and treats her youngest like "dirt" because she's "fat and unattractive." Can Dr. Phil help her love both girls equally? And, Michelle only lets her daughter play with pretty kids on the playground because she equates beauty with success in life. Will she learn to re-evaluate her standards? Tell us your thoughts on today's show.
