Topic : 05/30 Pretty/Ugly

Dr. Phil,  

I loved 98.8% of your show about appearance.  I agree that beauty is only skin deep, but unfortunately in our society the 'beautiful' ones seem to gain more economically.   

I did have to post a message though, because I'm sure you'll read it. ;)  I was so mad at you when you said your son did look a little perverted when he had the 'ugly' body image.   

Your entire point of the "Pretty/Ugly" episode was to get superficial people to look past looks: to not judge books  by their covers.  You made a judgement that because your son's 'costume' was of a fat, hairy, pimple induced gentleman shopping in a bathing suit store (for his girlfriend?) made him look perverted. 

You made yourself look very superficial in the last 5 minutes of the show.  The fact that you said what you said about your son's 'other' appearance really miffed me and made me look at you the same way I looked at Victoria's superficial mother. 

In no way will I ever stop watching you because I love what you do, but I had to let you know that I was not very happy with your 'perverted' comment. 

Sincerely, 

Sarah Elizabeth 

You asked me to define homely. Well...that's sort of hard to do. I guess I could give you a detailed description of myself. Or I could tell you what I think makes another person homely. All of which would be a waste of time. I think we all, if we are truly honest, know what an ugly person looks like.  

Really, I would like the people that mistreat, reject or ignore me to give what their definition of homely is. That would make more sense. I will tell you what being homely can mean: 

It means never in  all your life being asked out on a date.  

Never invited to a party, wedding, baby shower or really any social gathering-even by family members or "friends". 

If you say something super intelligent to an aquaintance, they will probably give you a look like they might have if their dog went to the piano one day and played Mozart. 

Out shopping and seeing someone that attends your church. You speak a friendly "hello" and not only do they not do the same, but they look like they wish the ground would open beneath their feet, and then they "scurry off". 

Speaking of christians, and yes I am one, they can be the worst! They will sometimes lower themselves to speak to you in church. More or less, just a simple greeting. They give you a beatific smile, as if they know they are doing God's will by condescending to speak to Homely-What's Her Name?-Sister-so-in-so. Well, christian charity is a beautiful thing! 

Seriously, I really believe that by being homely I have gained insight into people that others probably don't have. Speaking from an intellectual point of view, some of the behavior I encounter is sort of interesting. 

And if I look at the way they act in a spiritual light, as  I often do, it just brings me closer to the Lord Jesus. He actually loves and accepts us no matter what we look like.  

I can't judge those people that don't accept me. I have to say that if I were in their shoes I would probably do the same thing. The big thing for me, and really anyone in a similar situation, is learning how to deal with it all. 

The mother that discriminated against her daughter INFURIATED me! I was LITERALLY sobbing for that little girl! This story totally broke my heart. I am a mother and I would NEVER EVER treat my son differently because of his appearance. Nothing hurts more than when a parent betrays or treats you differently. I think I would use food for comfort too if my mom treated me that way!! This woman needs serious help! 

It is so true that attractiveness plays a HUGE role in how we are treated. I have always been told I was a pretty girl and I have the most amazing eyes. People have always been generally nice to me and I never had a problem getting a boyfriend. In fact it annoyes me whenever I walk into a store  the clerk keeps hounding me and asking if I need help! However after high school I got majorly depressed and put on 20 lbs. from ages 18-21. Since I am only 5'4", 20 extra lbs is devastating. I didn't get "fat" I just looked a little chubby. Guys still liked me but I noticed I got hit on way more after I dropped 30 lbs in 9 months after deciding I hated the 20 lbs I gained over the course of 3 years. A friend of mine also confessed to me that she felt "ugly" and "fat" whenever she was around me. This made me sad cause I thought she was pretty. And I have always had a hard time making friends with other women.I also know how it feels to be some guys arm candy. It's too bad society puts such a huge emphasis on beauty. I will teach my son to always place value on the persons soul and not their looks...those fade anyways!! 

I would have to agree with Jay on this one.  It's certainly true that some "good looking" people open their mouths and you get turned off, but it is also true that if someone is ugly, dirty looking and disheveled, people definitely tend to treat them differently.  A good example of this is the elephant man.   

THE WAY YOU LAY IT OUT, IT SOUNDS AS THOUGH YOU'RE A MONSTER ... 

AND I DOUBT THAT!