Topic : 05/30 Pretty/Ugly

I agree with you about the difference between unkempt and unattractive. Even people who are not innately good looking can make themselves attractive by presenting themselves well (clean, neat and tidy) and by having good posture.   

  

One of my work colleagues is a woman who is obese but she is also a very attractive woman who take pains to present herself in a very positive way. It would be easy to be critical of her and say that she should lose 100 pounds (and she probably should for health reasons) but her heavy weight does not make her an ugly person.  

  

People who complain that they are considered ugly because of excess weight may actually find that they are simply perceived as lacking is self respect because they wear ill fitting clothing and have poor posture because they try to hide their weight. No matter what weight you are it is possible to buy clothing that fits - the only limitation to this is $$$ - and good posture costs nothing. 

  

To me the message is make the best of who you are but don't dog on people who you perceive as not living up to your ideals. 

  

  

  

I am the youngest of four children.  The fat one.  My other siblings grew up normal weights and I was constantly reminded by this by my mom.  I was always told "you have such a pretty face", which made me think that was what kept me going.  I married the first man that asked me because I was afraid of being alone.  We divorced shortly afterwards and I began to be in and out of one bad relationship after another.  Two years ago I was struck with Bells Palsy which has disfigured my face.  Now I am afraid of growing old  and alone and not being able to attract anyone.  My brother who is eight years older than me treated me badly growing up and as an adult due to my weight problem.  I have lived life of being treated differently because of looks, believe me.  When I was married I weighed around 155 pounds and was trying to get pregnant.  The doctor told me I couldn't get pregnant because I was fat.  There's lots more information as to how this impacted my life, but it gets confusing to read. 

I definatly know the feeling of being judged on your looks.   Throughout my years in both high school and middle school, people have always judged me based on how I dressed, how I did my hair, ect.   I've always been called ugly, creepy and fat along with other things.   I hate how people can just assume so much about someone without even getting to know them first but then again, we live in a society that values beauty.   It scares me a bit that even in the world outside of high school, looks matter.

Im sitting in my house in absolute disgust.  Im a hairstylist and deal with some form of beauty everyday and its sad that most people take the outer package as a first impression before they have even spoken to them.  Now no offense but those 2 women that were so kind (not) to other and their children, did they take a look at themselves?  How would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot!  Everybody is beautiful in his or her own way.  And of course some more than others, our country has become so fixcated with glamour and beauty that they are missing it.  Everybody has something to offer and we could all learn something from someone else.

I think this experiment wasn't truely acurate.  In order for it to show if looks do make a difference, Jay & the lady would have to come across the same people in the stores they went to.  Who knows?  The people they met first could have been completely judgemental, or even just that way with everyone. 

I love Dr. Phil and think he gives and gave great advice, however Dr. Phil  made a coment at the end of the show today the Jay looked  creepy and like a  pervert. What makes someone look like a pervert? Ted Bundy was a very handsome man and killed many. What does a pervert look like? I think it was just a slip but kind of interesting don't you think? 

I agree with you.  It is unfortunate but interesting.    

   

My husband has always dressed nice, worked hard, been responsible etc. but I swear after watching him for over 35 years I believe it's his 6'2" height that let's him always come out 'smelling like a rose'.  Everyone presumes he's smarter, more capable, richer, on and on and on.....  

    I 'm one of those women that is more comfortable in old baggy jeans, tee shirt and old stained sneakers than designer cloths.  I'm 55, 5'8' and 130 lbs.  and I can tell you for a fact that how I dress, even at the dog park, has a dramatic affect on how people react to me.  If I'm dressed nice; people are friendly and regard me with respect  but if I'm dressed in my jeans and sneakers ...I'm invisable.  (women over 40 are impotent, non- persons in our society anyway )  There are some exceptions ( nice people, wise people) but for the most part we live in a very superficial society.    I was shocked by some of your guests.  My mother always said pretty is is pretty does...but maybe their mothers never shared that with them.

WE ARE SURPRISED BY THIS BECAUSE WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A 7 YEAR OLD CHILD. WITH THE ABUSE AND SUFFERING SHE IS GOING THROUGH SHE MAY NEVER BECOME A STRONG WOMAN ABLE TO SAY "LIVE WITH IT AND MOVE ON"

  

Sadly this show opened my eyes, to how my friends, the people I trust with my life treat others.  

  

My best friend Sam even treated me like this today, I was talking to her about guys and for some odd reason, African American guys are supposed to be the most attractive kind, I told her that it was stupid and she reminded me that only the 'cool and pretty' people think this. She puts me down lot and even so, I feel this way. Sam is pretty, she has long hair, shes tiny, has long pretty legs and according to guys, "Eyes and a Butt to drop jaws" and she constantly throws it in my face that she gets more guys liking her than ever, she even had my boyfriend wanting her for a while. 

  

Even so their is this wonderful guy who has the BIGGEST crush on her, he's one of her friends and he's the sweetest guy to her, the only problem is... he's over weight. He's a big lad, but he's actually good looking, although Sam doesn't want to be caught dead with a bit guy, she wants slim, muscly, hot and sexy males. Her opinion is shallow. She even speaks about how 'ugly' one of her friends like Joanna. Joanna is one of her old friends now that she hangs out with a bunch of new people, and she talks about her nose and how she's fat and stuff, I'm disgusted by it and yet... I sadly do nothing. 

  

Even I must admit I've been shallow to some people, but High School is honestly one of the worst places to be if you have low self esteem, it sickens me to a great extent....