Topic : 05/30 Pretty/Ugly

What else can I say? I have made it clear how people treat me. It is all true, and much worse things have happened. I don't even have the heart to tell of some of the harsher things that have been done. 

  

  

I find in the job market that age and looks matter, at least I am convinced of it after trying to find a job for two years now.  

  

I am an experienced and skilled worker, having longevity in two jobs spanning 27 years, having lost both jobs through no fault of my own - both closed down due to financial instability. 

  

Now that I am looking for a job, I am certain that I haven't been able to find a job because I am an older worker and not so young and pretty.   

  

I think the ultimate hiring decision in today's business world is based on (1) looks and youth, and then (2) qualifications and experience).   

  

When first looking for a job, my resume included dates so the prospective employer could figure out my age by looking at employment dates, so I never got contacted for interviews.  Now that I updated my resume to leave out dates so they could not tell how old I am, I am getting bites for interviews, but that is where success in finding a job ends.  Once they see me, overweight, and not so young (middle-aged), my chances of getting the job pretty much fly out the window.  Is there anyone in a position of hiring that ever considers experience, skills, and qualifications in their search for a prospective employee as a priority.  It is depressing, frustrating, and makes me very angry.   

  

If I owned a company, I would want older workers because first of all, I'd want someone qualified for the job, secondly, I would want a middle-age to older worker who isn't going to use the job as a stepping stone to something better or higher paying (older workers are more dependable and don't jump from job to job).  Thirdly, I wouldn't want someone who is going to be having babies and have to take time off for maternity leave and all the time after that they take off for their kids being sick, taking days off when schools are closed due to weather, etc.  I just can't believe more employers don't realize the pros of hiring older workers.  Looks and youth shouldn't have any bearing on anything as long as the prospective employee is neat, well-groomed, articulate, and qualified for the job.  I am thoroughly disgusted with the job search and have lost faith in prospective employers who don't consider the pros of hiring an older worker.   Is there anyone in Human Resources who uses common sense when hiring? 

  

By the way, I seemingly am over the hill in the business world at 48 years of age.   

A great deal of people judge  based on appearances often times it is a quiet thing. Yet there are a great deal of people that do so knowinly and willingly. Almost every day I see people teashing thier children to base peoples worth on thier appearances.  They pride beauty more than they do intelegance.   I grew up in a home with three girls Beauty was not really releveant We are all stunning in our own way.  (too bad the rest of the world did not think so) I hate the fact that I was turned down Jobs because "Your not the right type to work here"  I saw people get promoted above me that were very striking but oh my stupid. I have gotten called "Good sturdy stock"  "robust woman"  "a little OX"  "a whale"  "hey fat chick"  and have gotten questions and comments that really infuriate me. "do you like the way you look"  "Dont worry about the belt being to short gravity will hold you down in the ride"  No we do not carry clothes in your size But we can special order you some"  "yes we do sell size 18 20 its over there in the mature woman section"  Any one that does not think beauty and size does not matter should be a plus size woman for a day.

Speaking of christians, and yes I am one, they can be the worst! They will sometimes lower themselves to speak to you in church. More or less, just a simple greeting. They give you a beatific smile, as if they know they are doing God's will by condescending to speak to Homely-What's Her Name?-Sister-so-in-so. Well, christian charity is a beautiful thing!  

  

AMEN! 

No burn scars. You know, I guess you would have to be me for a while to get how people act and react. Wearing a disguise like Jay did just doesn't get it. We only got to see him around strangers-that was bad enough.  What I was trying to point out in my earlier messages, is people that I see all the time-like the people at church. I think they're afraid that I might want to be friends-I don't. That's one reason they act that way. 

  

I also said that I looked retarded. OK, can't you use your imagination? Can you see yourself making love to a homely retarded man? Being friends? Do you have any retarded friends? That has a lot to do with it. 

I was horrified by the mother of little Victoria.  Can she possibly be for real?  That poor child.  I wish Dr. Phil would have come down on her mother a little harder, not that he didn't come down on her but wow!  That child deserves a mother figure who will love and respect her regardless.  I feel so bad for that poor child.  No wonder she overeats, it's probably the only pleasure she gets out of life.  I rarely wish people ill, but that mother is such a horrible person I don't think I could wish her anything good.

I was soooo upset over the way Victoria's mother treats her I turned off the TV.  I hope at the end of the show that child was taken from that mother and CPS was called in.  I can tell you first hand that when a parent favors one child over the other it's worse for the favored child.  I was the favored child.  My parents saw the light when they got older and started treating us all the same.  My siblings quickly forgave them, but it's taken 20 years for my brother and sisters to warm up to me because every family gathering led to a fight about me always having it easier.  They had no idea that I was feeling guilty and sad for them.  When they were punished with no dinner when we all did something wrong, I would sneak my food off my plate and take it to them.   

  

If Victoria's mother doesn't love and want her, why doesn't she give her up to a family that will love her? 

   

  I wish Jay would put on dark makeup and go into that same setting as a black man,  doesn't matter if he's a prep or a thug you all might be surprised at what you might see.  

     I'd like to show you all what it's like to be black and what happens to us 8 out of 10 times when we go places to shop, and eat.   The difference is a plain white man can put on an expensive suit and get courtesy and respect, (Donald Trump)  but we can hide our skin color.    

    I'm an attractive black woman and I still might leave my corporate job, and walk into a store and be treated like I'm invisible or a nuisance based solely on my skin color. 

   The way you felt Jay, the no eye contact, no one stopping to hear you out is exactly what my father and brother have learned to live with.  Not saying it happens all the time, but just as you felt that people were discriminating against you because of the way you looked ,and everyone believed it, imagine knowing that you get the same treatment as a black person because of the color of your skin and everyone calling you a liar or saying you're being "too sensitive when you state it?"   Afterall we could all explain away what happened to you in disquise.  We could say the people who ignored and dismissed you were really busy or just not  able to find the application quickly.  You told us differently and we took your word for it without making excuses for the workers.    

    Imagine if you had come on TV and announced your findings and everyone had jumped down your throat with what we usually get, "Well maybe they were busy, or maybe you were dressed inappropriately," surely it couldn't have been looks discrimination. 

    You would have been hopping mad.  That's what we as black people deal with, knowing that the Gucci store clerk was uncorporative or even combative because of our skin color and everyone running to the clerks defense saying she was just probably having a bad day. Or the same thing happened to me when I went in wearing sweats.     

   I remember in college relaying an incident that happened to me at a high end clothing store and all my classmates dismissed my account immediately, in fact cut me off and starting telling stories of going into the same store in their workout clothes with their backpacks, or with a hangover and being treated similarly.  I pointed out, you can change clothes and sober up and go back in and get service. I can't change my skin. LOL 

I GIVE UP ... YOU DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL!!! 

 

:(