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Topic : 09/19 "Afraid of My Mom"

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Created on : Friday, September 16, 2005, 03:59:15 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil intervenes with a woman who's anger is out of control. Michelle calls herself a "raging lunatic,"  and says her family is falling apart because of it. When something sets her off, Michelle will go to the extreme: Following drivers on the road, screaming obscenities at her husband until he flees the house, and yelling at her daughters until they are physically sick and cowering in the closet. Michelle reveals her worst fear and Dr. Phil steps in to save this family. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

 

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September 18, 2005, 5:16 pm CDT

09/19 "Afraid of My Mom"

Quote From: musicman

First of all, i'm neither supporting nor witch hunting the show in question.  But I will play devils advocate here. I'm guessing that no one here has ever had rough times,  A possible medical condition, Or even a loss of control over a given situation.  Why would they go on the show one would ask?  To get help that could not be found else where?  To be publicly ridiculed?  To lose all family and friends that they may of had?  Who knows what they are going through at this time.  But you DO need to ask your self is what did Dr. Phil do for them?  Is the problem being fixed?  Are the kids ok now?  Yes it is a bad situation, but is it being fixed?  Are you all of such little faith that you think he did this for ratings?  Come on lets get real here this is not the springer show.  That is a real problem with real people and children who obviously needed help and went there to get it.  And they will, i'm sure of that.  But if it make you all feel better about yourselves, please feel free to be judgemental, ridicule, persicute and even scorn those you don't know to make yourselves feel better.  I'm real sure that is the way we all should live our perfect lives. 

"But if it make you all feel better about yourselves, please feel free to be judgemental, ridicule, persicute and even scorn those you don't know to make yourselves feel better" 

 

How is your post any different? You are judging people you don't even know based on a paragraph or two that they wrote on the Dr. Phil message board. Which post are you even responding to? Did I miss part of someones post where they said Dr Phil was doing this for ratings?  

 
September 18, 2005, 5:58 pm CDT

I UNDERSTAND!!!

Quote From: missnapa

I really don't need to be on here! I have problems myself and no time to get angry over people like you. How can you possibly excuse it with a medical condition? My mother had one and I had to live with it even when she threatend to kill my sister and I during her rage! Almost driving off a dead end, chasing us including friends into safer places like the bathroom while she had the fireplace poker in her hands! And you might say "why didn't your father do anything?" Well, then, things were a secret with most, behind closed doors, embarresement, title held in a communtiy, and most of all, then, we would have ended up with our mother if he tried to divorce her, he couldn't commit her as his mother was in and out of hospitals. DOES ANYONE OTHER THAN US SURVIVERS UNDERSTAND THE DAMAGE????????????  I DON'T WANT TO EXPAND ON YOUR COMMENTS............. 

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm   What is the definition of child abuse?

Child abuse consists of any act or failure to act that endangers a child's physical or emotional health and development. A person caring for a child is abusive if he or she fails to nurture the child, physically injures the child, or relates sexually to the child. 

What are the types of child abuse?

The four major types of child abuse are: 

  • Physical abuse
  • Sexual abuse
  • Emotional abuse
  • Neglect

Another type of abuse is child exploitation (distinct from sexual exploitation). This is the use of a child in work or other activities for the benefit of others. Child labor is an example of child exploitation for commercial reasons. Using a child in this way detracts from their own physical, mental, and social development. 

  What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is any attitude, behavior, or failure to act on the part of the caregiver that interferes with a child's mental health or social development. 

Other names for emotional abuse are: 

  • verbal abuse
  • mental abuse
  • psychological maltreatment or abuse

Emotional abuse can range from a simple verbal insult to an extreme form of punishment. The following are examples of emotional abuse: 

  • ignoring, withdrawal of attention, or rejection
  • lack of physical affection such as hugs
  • lack of praise, positive reinforcement, or saying "I love you"
  • yelling or screaming
  • threatening or frightening
  • negative comparisons to others
  • belittling; telling the child he or she is "no good," "worthless," "bad," or "a mistake"
  • using derogatory terms to describe the child, name-calling
  • shaming or humiliating
  • habitual scapegoating or blaming
  • using extreme or bizarre forms of punishment, such as confinement to a closet or dark room, tying to a chair for long periods of time, or terrorizing a child
  • parental child abduction

Emotional abuse is almost always present when another form of abuse is found. Some overlap exists between the definitions of emotional abuse and emotional neglect; regardless, they are both child abuse. 

Emotional abuse of children can come from adults or from other children: 

  • parents or caregivers
  • teachers or athletic coaches
  • siblings
  • bullies at school
  • middle- and high-school girls in social cliques

  

What are the results of child abuse?

Child abuse can have the following dire consequences:  

  • Your child may become someone who lies, resents, fears, and retaliates, rather than loves, trusts, and listens.
  • Your child may become reclusive, and alienated from you and from the rest of your family.
  • Your child will have low self-esteem, and is likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors.
  • Your child's psychological development and social behavior will be impaired.
  • As an adult, your child may abuse his or her own children, who are your grandchildren.
  • As an adult, your child may exclude you, including from celebrations and family gatherings. You may not be permitted to spend time with your grandchildren.

The results of being abused as a child vary according to the severity of the abuse and the surrounding environment of the child. If the social environment of the family or school is nurturing and supportive, the child will probably have a better outcome. 

  

Results of emotional abuse 

Emotional abuse can result in serious behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders 

  

repeating what I pointed out on the incest and child sexual abuse message board for those who understand $$$$$$$$$...according to  

  

http://www.preventchildabuse.org/learn_more/cap_2002/cost_of_child_abuse_and_neglect.pdf  

  

Cost of Child Abuse &

   

   

 

  

Neglect in U.S. Estimated

   

   

 

  

at $258 Million Per Day  

 
September 18, 2005, 6:32 pm CDT

Something to think about.........

Quote From: missnapa

I really don't need to be on here! I have problems myself and no time to get angry over people like you. How can you possibly excuse it with a medical condition? My mother had one and I had to live with it even when she threatend to kill my sister and I during her rage! Almost driving off a dead end, chasing us including friends into safer places like the bathroom while she had the fireplace poker in her hands! And you might say "why didn't your father do anything?" Well, then, things were a secret with most, behind closed doors, embarresement, title held in a communtiy, and most of all, then, we would have ended up with our mother if he tried to divorce her, he couldn't commit her as his mother was in and out of hospitals. DOES ANYONE OTHER THAN US SURVIVERS UNDERSTAND THE DAMAGE????????????  I DON'T WANT TO EXPAND ON YOUR COMMENTS............. 

I understand that you do not need to be on here.  But I have seen your posts on this subject 2 times now and posts on other subjects before, so you have plenty of time.  This is not a personal attack nor is it a defence of them but all I was trying to do is put another point of view on the subject.  I definatly see the scars you have from your childhood, but what did your parents do about it?  Atleast these people are getting help, from what I can see.  As for a medical condition........you are extremely nieve to think that may have no roll in  this.  Autisim, turrets, bi-polar disorder and many more things like these are all curable with over the counter medications right?  Please stop and think.  NONE of us know what truly happened in this situation, and odds are that we will never know,  so at this point all we can do is guess and make assumptions.  So good luck with your problems. And just my opinion for you, if you have that many problems stop worring about others and handle your buisness.  The only other option is to maybe see Dr. Phil and see what he can do for you on the other side of the camera.
 
September 18, 2005, 6:52 pm CDT

Answers to your questions .........

Quote From: katielilie

"But if it make you all feel better about yourselves, please feel free to be judgemental, ridicule, persicute and even scorn those you don't know to make yourselves feel better" 

 

How is your post any different? You are judging people you don't even know based on a paragraph or two that they wrote on the Dr. Phil message board. Which post are you even responding to? Did I miss part of someones post where they said Dr Phil was doing this for ratings?  

The only reason I chose to post my comments is to maybe get others to see another side of the coin.  Forsure the situation, I feel, was wrong.  But, everyones posts that i've seen just want to persicute them.  I try my best not to judge anyone but i'll be the first one to admit i'm far from perfect.  I just feel people need to see both sides of the story.  I'm just trying to make other possibilities known.  As for which posts i'm responding to...... none of them imparticular.  As for the ratings comment, that was made for the simple fact that people need to see that the reason people go on these shows are to get help.  NOT to be slammed by every person that feels like it.  Certainly I have opinions about some of the shows i've seen but check the archives, i've not posted one time until now.  If there were not other people like this out there would the show even be worth putting on?  That is why I put the word ratings on there.  To prove that this is not for shock value.  It is a problem that happens, unfortunatly. 
 
September 19, 2005, 12:05 am CDT

What a mess!

I don't have words for this woman.  She needs some serious help.  Her pride, her pride, respect, respect....PLEASE!  You earn respect lady, you don't demand it!  And that husband is spineless! Stand up to her!! These are your children!!  PROTECT THEM!   

  

I just love when Dr Phil gets back in their faces and knocks them down a few levels.  Not so big bad and tough now are ya lady? :)  I hope he fixes/helps this family!  

 
September 19, 2005, 12:49 am CDT

09/19 "Afraid of My Mom"

All bullies are lowly cowards and a bulling parents is the lowest  of them all. There are not two sides in any abusive situation, where kids are involved. The only question is how did the parent get to be who they are, most of the time we can guess what the cause is.  However using ones own treatment as the excuse to ones own bad behavior is a cop out, its the COWARDS way out . I spent 15 yrs being singled out by my mother for crimes committed to her. Whatever they were, they were not caused by me.
 
September 19, 2005, 4:04 am CDT

09/19 "Afraid of My Mom"

Dear. Dr. Phil,  

  

Finally, a show that everyone can sink their teeth into!  It's about high time that all parents in the U.S. know the difference between "discipline" and "child abuse".  

  

I come from family of 5, and experienced abuse (like these kids) from both parents. This woman is teaching her children to get their way by bullying others. I'd be more than happy to go on stage and tell people like her what happens to kids who are raised in these situations.  

  

At the age of 14, I fought back like a vigilante--physically, verbally, and with the Word of God at my side. My sisters joked about me being like Joan of Arc, but it was enough to scare these people down. Eventually with the help of my grandparents and sisters, the violent, "Bonnie and Clyde" marriage ended in 1998.  I know that my case was a lucky one because I didn't see the jail. Other kids living in these types of situations are much more violent. I heard about a case on the East Coast, where a boy axed his abusive father to death. Others shoot, strangle, or poison the abusers. Heck, when the Menendez brothers killed their parents, they told the world about how they had been abused. Having come from such a situation, it's very hard not to believe it. 

  

Furthermore, there needs to be a federal law that says that all abusive parents should be banned from adopting kids or having babies. All Abusive parents should be forced by law to have hysterectomies and vasectomies. There also need to be an Abusive Parents Registry, just like what the sex offenders are subjected to. I think these measures would get parents to think about the differences between child abuse and discipline. It's a bit extreme, but there are too many parents doing the same thing and claiming they're just "diciplining" the child. This type of thing is an EPIDEMIC.  

  

Child Protective Services (CPS), medical professionals, and authorities can't handle the number of abuse cases that come in every week.  

  

As Pastor Casey Treat once said, "You abuse your power, you lose your power." If parents know there are consequences for their actions (other than kids getting violent), they would be least likely to commit abuse in their homes. As Americans, we should not tolerate this. 

  

--KS Randall 

  

NOTE TO ALL FLAMERS:  Don't like this?  Skip the message and don't respond. Don't even think about posting a message like "Well, you put this on the message board" because you aren't going to get a response. I'm entitled to my own opinion by U.S. law (and this is a U.S. site) and you ain't going to be changing anything real soon. I refuse to talk to anyone who just wants to start flame wars. If you need to flame someone, go to http://www.blogger.com OR http://www.livejournal.com . Peace. 

 
September 19, 2005, 5:14 am CDT

Musicman

Quote From: musicman

First of all, i'm neither supporting nor witch hunting the show in question.  But I will play devils advocate here. I'm guessing that no one here has ever had rough times,  A possible medical condition, Or even a loss of control over a given situation.  Why would they go on the show one would ask?  To get help that could not be found else where?  To be publicly ridiculed?  To lose all family and friends that they may of had?  Who knows what they are going through at this time.  But you DO need to ask your self is what did Dr. Phil do for them?  Is the problem being fixed?  Are the kids ok now?  Yes it is a bad situation, but is it being fixed?  Are you all of such little faith that you think he did this for ratings?  Come on lets get real here this is not the springer show.  That is a real problem with real people and children who obviously needed help and went there to get it.  And they will, i'm sure of that.  But if it make you all feel better about yourselves, please feel free to be judgemental, ridicule, persicute and even scorn those you don't know to make yourselves feel better.  I'm real sure that is the way we all should live our perfect lives. 

I find it humorous that while pontificating about the horrors of placing judgements you do the exact same thing in your post. 

  

  

"But if it make you all feel better about yourselves, please feel free to be judgemental, ridicule, persicute and even scorn those you don't know to make yourselves feel better.  I'm real sure that is the way we all should live our perfect lives.

  

There are many instances in which people do need to place judgements.  A child being abused is not the least of them.  Shall everyone close their eyes and plug their ears under the guise of not being judgemental?  What would that acomplish?  A whole lot of nothing!     

  

"Are you all of such little faith that you think he did this for ratings?"  Oooops!  There are those judgements of yours creeping back in!  Better be careful.  You dont want to come off as a hypocrite. 

 
September 19, 2005, 5:31 am CDT

Miss napa

Quote From: missnapa

I really don't need to be on here! I have problems myself and no time to get angry over people like you. How can you possibly excuse it with a medical condition? My mother had one and I had to live with it even when she threatend to kill my sister and I during her rage! Almost driving off a dead end, chasing us including friends into safer places like the bathroom while she had the fireplace poker in her hands! And you might say "why didn't your father do anything?" Well, then, things were a secret with most, behind closed doors, embarresement, title held in a communtiy, and most of all, then, we would have ended up with our mother if he tried to divorce her, he couldn't commit her as his mother was in and out of hospitals. DOES ANYONE OTHER THAN US SURVIVERS UNDERSTAND THE DAMAGE????????????  I DON'T WANT TO EXPAND ON YOUR COMMENTS............. 

I dont think you can fully grasp the damage unless you have been through the same.  So to answer your question, in my opinion, no I dont think anyone other then survivors can truley completley understand the life long effects. 

   

  

Im sorry you felt the need to defend yourself to this particular poster.  Im even sorrier for the abuse you suffered as a child!    Please know there are many on this board who do understand your anger at seeing/hearing of such things and feel the exact same as  you.  I do not think anger over hearing of an abusive parent is wrong.  Imo, it is far more wrong to not be angered!  That is when it becomes acceptable and that is a much worse stance to take.  I often think people throw around those "We shouldnt judge" comments because its far easier to take that stance then to bother taking any sort of action.  After all, for one to act, you must first make a judgement that there is innapropriate behavior warranting action.    If no one was willing to step down off their pedestals and become the "judgemental" type, then there would never be any chance of protecting innocents. 

  

So as far as im concerened, you have the right idea! 

  

 
September 19, 2005, 6:22 am CDT

what kind of mother

this whole family needs help and i cannot believe that her husband stands there and does practically nothing about his wife, why doesn't he take the kids and leave. what that woman does to her children is down right child abuse , she does not deserve to be their mother or a mother to anyone. if those kids do not get out of that situation now and get some counseling they are going to have problems all their lives because of their mother.!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think the authorities need to step in and take charge of the situation. those kids are going to grow up hating their mother and possibly their father for not doing something about the situation.
 
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