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Topic : 12/22 Little Mean Girls

Number of Replies: 161
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Created on : Friday, September 16, 2005, 04:29:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 09/20/05) They kick, they spit, they punch, they even cuss. Parents say their precious daughters have turned into "little mean girls." Mark and Heather are divorced and can't agree on how to parent their 6-year-old daughter, Montanna. Is Mark's macho personality making Montanna more aggressive? Or is it because Heather doesn't believe in spanking? Then, Jana and Cory are worn out by their 4-year-old daughter, Alyssa, and her bullying behavior. She bullies, name calls and screams at the top of her lungs. What are they doing wrong, and how can they make her behave? And Michelle says she has created a spoiled brat and giving in has become easier than fighting her "princess." Do you have any advice for these guests? Tell us.

 

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September 20, 2005, 5:26 pm CDT

General Comment......

Has anyone else noticed that Dr. Phil looks really uncomfortable in these new chairs??  

  

I really cannot comment too much on today's topic. I have one child and he's 7 months old, so who am I to judge? I'll wait to see how my son does in four or five years. Hopefully, the things I learned in Family First and from watching shows like the one today help! 

  

Did Dr. Phil ever do a show on how to deal with children who bully other children?  

  

  

  

 
September 20, 2005, 5:28 pm CDT

09/20 Little Mean Girls

What do these parents expect! They give in to their children and give them whatever they want, they are not consistent in discipline and the parents are divided when it comes to parenting their children, especially that first couple. Children learn what they are taught and all these families on the show today, well, I sure hope Dr. Phil gave them the resources to teach them how to parent and hopefully they follow through with whatever was suggested cause they certainly need all the help they can get but the one thing they certainly need is the back bone to stand up to their children and DISCIPLINE them and NOT GIVE IN to them. Tell those kids NO. By what I read on this show, there is absolutely nothing wrong with these kids as far as mediacally, they are spoiled little kids who get whatever they want and have been ALOUD to throw their little tantrums and being mean to others, Did these kids come out of the womb mean and hateful, NO, they were taught this and it all begins at home. Yes, some kids are harder then others but when parents do not parent as these particular parents have not parented, then yes, things are going to go wrong and end up in chaois. Will be interesting to see a follow up on these families. Would be amazing to see the difference if they actually start discipling their kids instead of letting them rule.
 
September 20, 2005, 5:42 pm CDT

Daycare Provider?

 
September 20, 2005, 5:51 pm CDT

Daycare provider?

Is Alissa's mom a daycare provider?  There are a lot of kids there, more than her three.  I myself was in a daycare situation where the child of the provider was a "brat" and I and the other kids felt like second class.   

  

I had a stepson that was maniputative and hard to handle.  He was bigger than the other 3yr olds.It was harder to stay at home with him that it was to go to work and have a daycare provider deal with him.  At pre-school he was placed in a class of of children that were older than him.  This kept him "beat down" (by no way was he abused) but couldnt get to the smaller children and it was easier to handle him even at home.   

  

I hope that the parents know what they are doing by letting that "bratty child" be with the daycare children at her house.  These kids will always feel the way I did. 

  

  

  

 
September 20, 2005, 6:11 pm CDT

Been there

Quote From: missjane2

I have 4 kids and 3 of them boys.  Boys are different than girls.  I don't consider my boys to have ever been mean, but more:  DESTRUCTIVE.  I don't think it's necessarily the parents fault if the kids are like that.  I mean they have more than one child and each are different.  I think it is something within their internal make up.  My youngest cried 10 hours per day for the first year of his life.  He was collicky.  I couldn't go anywhere.  No one could hold him but me.  Now that he is 8, it has changed forms:  He call my cell phone 10 times per day and leaves messages.  I have a strong bond with him, probably more than the rest of the kids.  But things he has done include:  Push the screen out of his window and throw every stuffed animal on it to get a suntan, Get a fishing pole from the basement and cast it into the driveway to hook my 6 week puppy who had to be rushed to vet ER, He stands on his head in time out on a chair and kicks his foot against it because it is too boring for him, if I am gone for too long:  He takes the lace off my dining room table and puts 300 soldiers on it and lego towers that reach the ceiling and marbles as cannon balls and IRAQ war takes places on my nice dining room table.  I have SO MANY STORIES with him that the other kids don't have and I know it is something in his make up.  And he has answers for his behavior:  WHY ARE YOU GIVING THE DOG YOUR ICE CREAM CONE?   Duh Mom Just Cuz he's hungry.  Do I take the blame for this?  NOPE.

  

  

I worked with behaviorally challenged kids for twenty years.  Have you had him seen by a specialist?  He sounds like he may have brain damage.  A lot (most) of the kids I cared for had Alcohol related Brain Injury but some of them had problems from early childhood illnesses or strokes.  The fact that he 'had colic" for so long maybe he had headaches or what ever.  These kids have normal intelligence but they cannot quite figure out consequences.  They will do things over and over, or variations of the same scenerio and can't connect the dots. 

  

They have trouble understanding that TV is pretend, that people, animals etc. all hurt.  Most were hyperactive..I didn't ;know until one child taught me that some kids don't sleep.  He could go for days.  Burn out.  If it was just me I would have thought he was out to get me but he had a history. 

  

It starts with social problems but when others reject them they reject back.  They are emotional immature, can't focus, have no impulse control.  They are so confused after a while.  They get distracted, they're hypersensitive, a label rubbing on their skin is excrusiatingly painful but they will burn themselves (badly) and not notice. 

  

I've been retired for awhile but there must be programs etc. to support mothers with high end kids cause they need lots of support, both the child and the mother. 

 
September 20, 2005, 6:31 pm CDT

Little Mean Girls

I am so tired of little brats being given everything they want & throwing temper tantrums when they don't get it. I'm also tired of hearing people say "Don't spank the little darlings. You'll hurt their ego". That's exactly what these girls need is a good spanking.  

  

My father was WWII Army and didn't tolerate any misbehavior or disrespect from us kids, either at home or at school. Breaking the rules resulted in a leather belt being applied to our bare bottoms,  then we had to face the corner for at least an hour & depending on the "crime", we were grounded for at least a weekend. There were 6 of us kids and none of us became an ax murderer or has low self esteem because our parents cared enough to punish us when we needed it. We also were not given everything we wanted. We had a good home, clothes to wear, food to eat and yes, we had toys that we had to share with each other. When we wanted something & it wasn't Christmas or our birthday, we had to earn that item.  

  

Due to medical reasons, I am the only one of the 6 who does not have any children, but my nieces and nephews are all very well behaved and very polite. That is due to the fact that their parents don't give them everything they want and are not afraid to discipline them when it is necessary.  

  

These 3 little girls are badly in need of discipline and a few minutes in time out isn't going to solve the problem. The parents also need to learn how to be parents and stop giving the kids everything they want. A little old fashioned discipline will do wonders for how those 3 little brats behave.  

 
September 20, 2005, 6:35 pm CDT

more about mark

  

I think it is too easy to just blame the father. being parents is a 50/50 job   the mother needs to step up and  be a mom run the house and be a parent. stop being run my your kids  you run there lifes not the other way around.    

I also think that mark is a great cute guy and dont beleave as everyone else on this  message board that it was his falt  and that the child  picked up the way she is from him.  If the mother was tuff like him the kid would have no problems and would be a normal little girl. 

did i say that i think mark is a big cute guy yet.......LOL     well he is.      

 
September 20, 2005, 6:46 pm CDT

Dr. Phil's Advice

I just wanted to say, in case the parents of these beautiful little girls are reading these boards, that Dr. Phil's Advice to close the door (leave them in their room) for a time out REALLY works.  My son used to give me the hardest time and I was on the verge of losing it, and I did it... I closed the door.  I made sure there was nothing he could hurt himself with and I closed that door and let me SCREAM and kick and pound the floor.  It was the hardest thing to do.  I sat there outside the door so I could hear him and I was crying, but I wasn't going to let him treat me the way he was (he loved the word "stupid").  So even though it is a hard thing to do, don't get me wrong - it can be heart breaking or liberating I guess depending on your mood, but it does work.  They learn to come around and they learn that you can take away just as quickly as you give.  So please have strength and don't give up!
 
September 20, 2005, 7:05 pm CDT

09/20 Little Mean Girls

Quote From: kirbyfla

  

I think it is too easy to just blame the father. being parents is a 50/50 job   the mother needs to step up and  be a mom run the house and be a parent. stop being run my your kids  you run there lifes not the other way around.    

I also think that mark is a great cute guy and dont beleave as everyone else on this  message board that it was his falt  and that the child  picked up the way she is from him.  If the mother was tuff like him the kid would have no problems and would be a normal little girl. 

did i say that i think mark is a big cute guy yet.......LOL     well he is.      

So in your opinion what is a good father? one who fights with the mother in front of his kids? One who plays fighting games with his young daughter? One who calls the mother names in front of the children? One who is away most of the time, spends, what was it? maybe once amonth or so with the kids? Well this is the criteria of this cute guy that you are sticking up for. Being cute has absolutely nothing to do with it and parenting takes 100% on BOTH parents part and yes, he is partly to blame as he is also the parent of this child. They both need to take parenting classes and become a parent to this child. If this guy was so tough, he would be standing up to this kid and not alowong her to disrespect her mother like this. Yep, it's his fault too. So everything that you saw about this man was nothing but Good? If he is such a wonderful father, then why doesn't he have the kids living with him? He may be somewhat cute, but of what I read, he isn't a good father! I sure the heck wouldn't want him to be the father of my children. Maybe you need to watch the show again.
 
September 20, 2005, 8:58 pm CDT

yes and no

Quote From: jettav

So in your opinion what is a good father? one who fights with the mother in front of his kids? One who plays fighting games with his young daughter? One who calls the mother names in front of the children? One who is away most of the time, spends, what was it? maybe once amonth or so with the kids? Well this is the criteria of this cute guy that you are sticking up for. Being cute has absolutely nothing to do with it and parenting takes 100% on BOTH parents part and yes, he is partly to blame as he is also the parent of this child. They both need to take parenting classes and become a parent to this child. If this guy was so tough, he would be standing up to this kid and not alowong her to disrespect her mother like this. Yep, it's his fault too. So everything that you saw about this man was nothing but Good? If he is such a wonderful father, then why doesn't he have the kids living with him? He may be somewhat cute, but of what I read, he isn't a good father! I sure the heck wouldn't want him to be the father of my children. Maybe you need to watch the show again.

  

watching the show i can see that every one was walking over the wife. she needs to take command a little.  yes mark shouldnt have called her names in front of the kids. but  seeing there home where were they to go to have there fight  where the kids were not. and dose any one plann a fight or do they just happen...hummm  i think that there cant be a fight unles both side are involed.    

Doc Phil is 100 % right  take everything away from the kid until she learns respect,  and learns her boundries. then over time slowly when she earns them, give stuff back.  if you only have one parent that inforce, punish , is stricked,  it is like driving a car wiht only 2 full tiers. i am just saying that if the wife was more strick wiht the kids and not give in so much and be upfront and forceful with this kid there wouldnt be an issue.  

 
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