Topic : 12/22 Little Mean Girls

I am happy that so many teachers are here writing about experiences and witnessing the show and the parents who wrought the behaviors of these kids.  We all know kids don't come with a manual attached to their little toes. Unfortunately so many of today's parents rely on books written by others - so many others.  Therein lie the problems - there are too many books by too many experts - each one espousing different techniques of raising children.  Once again too many choices.  I agree that there should be a speicfied set of rules that should be followed to the letter by all.  If not in all homes, than certainly in the public arena beginning with public school. 

  

As for the public school where I work I have found that the specific rules are frequently waved for specific people - you know those annoited to be above the rules.  For example:  affluent families or kids of important community leaders.  Sometimes the rules are overlooked for fear of retaliation by a parent.  What a world, huh?  And don't we all want to feel that special that we feel it's okay to bend and stretch the system to suit our needs?  Oh and by the way - these are the very same families you can see at church or temple - or lest I be cosidered biased - mosque.  No matter the religious affiliation - a bratty kid is a bratty kid. 

  

Choices, choices!  I agree with yours in choosing the good book - the big one - the Bible.  I was raised with certain verses as well and do everything I can to live by them and saw to it that my child do the same.  We miss the mark from time to time, but we put in the effort and try. 

  

I would like to say that choosing a book and following its well intended instructions is another story.  A lot of people will go from book to book till they find the one that suits their needs or should I say the one that substantiates their choices.  Then they can say,  "see I am doing it right." 

  

UGH!  That's it - I'm done.   

If you want children to learn violence, teach them violence.  Spanking is violence. 

I would like to beat the tar out of you, then calmly explain to you that had you not been so ignorant, I would not have had to punish you for it! 

In your adult life, do you settle arguments with hitting? 

If you make a bad decision at work, does your boss spank you? 

I would venture to guess, NO! 

If this does not work as an adult, why on earth would you think it works for children?! 

You make it sound so easy and peaceful to hit a child. 

No matter how calm you are, or how much you explain or how consistent you are, if you hit a child- you are teaching that child violence and that violence is OK. 

I hope noone takes your advice and I hope you take a long look at yourself to understand how wrong you actually are! 

My child is older now and I never applied this method.  I do know a handful of parents who have tried it and said it works.  The child has to earn back all the stuff taken away.   

  

Interesting. 

I have 2 boys plus I work at a public school.sometimes no matter what the parent does the kids are out of control.it is not as easy as some parents think it is.sometimes undiagnosed problems are there such as adhd/add or bipolar then again some kids are just mean cause they are spoiled.even the greatest parents in the world can have a kid that is out of control. 

Keep up the good work Dr. Phil..by the way 1 of my boys has adhd,we control him not him controling us cause we are the parents,no it is not easy but it is our job as parents. 

How the heck does any child act like that?  I am a single mom of two boys - 11 mos apart!  I am a NO tolerant mom - NO misbehavior....it is not acceptable.....I was raised as an air force brat - I didn't like how I was raised but it turned out to be awesome!!  My boys do not do drugs, drink, smoke, etc.  They are awesome!  AGAIN why would anyone put up with misbehavior??? 

My 4 yr old was kicked out of preschool for her behavior.  She would not do as the teacher instructed and always tried to do or take part in the other childrens work. She is extremely social and very intelligent.  This behavior just started one day and has escalated into a major family problem.  We have been seeing a Psychologist and followed all the advice and after 5 mos- still no improvement. Actually, things have gotten worse.  Has anyone taken their child to a Psychiatrist and had them evaluated?  I feel that may be my next step.  The thought of medicating her makes me sad and makes me feel as if I have failed her as a parent.   

She has slapped me in the face , spit at me in public, ran from me, hit me, scratched me, etc...  I am open to any suggestions.    

 Today's show really opens up our eyes and shows us where a lot of parents are at right now. All of those mom's up there wanted to be friends with their kids first and foremost which is a NO NO. If they would have set strict rules and followed through with their punishments rather than get suckered in again, they would have a far different outcome than they do now. Toughen up parents! It's your job to make sure your kids obey the rules/regulations you set forth so they can go on and obey the law when they are older.

These "parents" are codependent, weak, and a danger to civilized communities everywhere.  They are hiding behind their children's antisocial behavior.  The fact is they are too lazy to be effective role models for our younger generation.  The ability to procreate does not a parent make.  If these parents would show a little backbone and stick up for their own values, their children might begin to respect them.  As it is, these children see people as door mats at best, at worst, something to spit on because the adults who raise them are cowards.  Wake up!  If your own children spit on you, why shouldn't other people?  I am ashamed to share the same species with these individuals.

  

That is exactly why kids today have no respect for their parents. They feel as if they should be treated as an equal. Bull crap, I don't need to earn my kids trust or respect. I brought them into this world. I don't care if they like it or lump it they can deal with it until they turn 18. Parenting is a job and it's not your job to be their friend until they are grown with children of their own. It might not seem like it at the moment but in the end they will thank you for your tough love. I know I thanked my parents. 

My son is 10yrs old and we have been struggling with the same behaviors that you are going through. He started around the age of 6, and it got worse from there. Now he has never went as far as to hit me or spit on me, but definately does this to others. He has been diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiant dissorder) ADD(attention defficate) He does take 2 medications to help with these dissorders. He also sees a psyciatrist and she has been a wonderful intervention. He is far from being cured believe me, but she has given me hope that i have not had for along time. You have not failed as a mother, it shows how much you love here by wanting help. Make sure the first thing you do id to have her evaluated and then from there you can start getting help. you are more than welcome to E-mail me anytime that you want to talk. Its always comforting to know that you are not the only one going through this. (BonhamBunch@aol.com)