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Topic : 12/22 Little Mean Girls

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Created on : Friday, September 16, 2005, 04:29:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 09/20/05) They kick, they spit, they punch, they even cuss. Parents say their precious daughters have turned into "little mean girls." Mark and Heather are divorced and can't agree on how to parent their 6-year-old daughter, Montanna. Is Mark's macho personality making Montanna more aggressive? Or is it because Heather doesn't believe in spanking? Then, Jana and Cory are worn out by their 4-year-old daughter, Alyssa, and her bullying behavior. She bullies, name calls and screams at the top of her lungs. What are they doing wrong, and how can they make her behave? And Michelle says she has created a spoiled brat and giving in has become easier than fighting her "princess." Do you have any advice for these guests? Tell us.

 

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September 20, 2005, 7:29 am CDT

Little mean girls

 Talk about giving this child mixed messages !  The parents obviously  have no concearn for thier child's mental state. They would rather argue than focus their attention to their daughter. Please don't put this child through a tougher time than she is already going through. It is bad enough for her to have her parents divorced let alone all the dissagreements. You must come togeather as a family for the childs sake. The parents can have their own problems, have their own feelings, but don't make the daughter suffer because of them.  She should only see happiness.   Sorrow is okay in the right circumstances. ( funeral ).   But to put a child in the middle is wrong and selffish.   Plesae stop thinking about yourselves and think of what your daughter is learning. 

  

  

  EF 

 
September 20, 2005, 8:05 am CDT

Children mimic what they see

Many times children tend to mimic what they see their parents doing. I think one of the reasons the first little girl on the show was so aggressive and hit people is because she has seen her father in the ring and many times they watch fights on TV or play violent games. I hope they all take Dr. Phi's advice. Another thing when the mother put her little girl in time out in the living room in the recliner that wasn't time out. I had a cousin who tended to an aggressive boy of school age, and when she put him in time out he sat in the hallway and stayed there until he behaved throughout the whole time out. Like Dr. Phil advised when parents take away certain priviliges from the children the children will eventually learn to behave.
 
September 20, 2005, 8:16 am CDT

Experienced Parents Out There?

Dr. Phil has done several shows now with out of control kids and kids that throw tantrums, and he has given pretty much the same advice to all of the parents. I was wondering if there are any posters out there that have tried his suggestions on their own kids. Has anyone stripped their kids rooms and had success/failure? I know for a lot of parents it is hard to break the habit of yelling. It is hard to stay calm with a tantrum is going on. Anyone have a success story to share, on how Dr. Phil helped them change their parenting style? 

  


Rachel 

 
September 20, 2005, 8:18 am CDT

little bullies

my 6 yr old son gets tormented at his after school program by an older boy. i have talked to the director of the program, come to find out he has been complained about before....the kid was not allowed to come back.  i was unsure how to explain to my boy that not everyone in the world is nice, and not to hate the bully, since he probably has a bad home life.   i think the parents of the bullies dont understand how their kids effect others, and sending them to school when they act like that is irresponcible.  i hope these parents on the show stick to dr phils advice, since it is our kids that will pay the bill when they dont.
 
September 20, 2005, 8:36 am CDT

09/20 Little Mean Girls

I have 4 kids and 3 of them boys.  Boys are different than girls.  I don't consider my boys to have ever been mean, but more:  DESTRUCTIVE.  I don't think it's necessarily the parents fault if the kids are like that.  I mean they have more than one child and each are different.  I think it is something within their internal make up.  My youngest cried 10 hours per day for the first year of his life.  He was collicky.  I couldn't go anywhere.  No one could hold him but me.  Now that he is 8, it has changed forms:  He call my cell phone 10 times per day and leaves messages.  I have a strong bond with him, probably more than the rest of the kids.  But things he has done include:  Push the screen out of his window and throw every stuffed animal on it to get a suntan, Get a fishing pole from the basement and cast it into the driveway to hook my 6 week puppy who had to be rushed to vet ER, He stands on his head in time out on a chair and kicks his foot against it because it is too boring for him, if I am gone for too long:  He takes the lace off my dining room table and puts 300 soldiers on it and lego towers that reach the ceiling and marbles as cannon balls and IRAQ war takes places on my nice dining room table.  I have SO MANY STORIES with him that the other kids don't have and I know it is something in his make up.  And he has answers for his behavior:  WHY ARE YOU GIVING THE DOG YOUR ICE CREAM CONE?   Duh Mom Just Cuz he's hungry.  Do I take the blame for this?  NOPE.
 
September 20, 2005, 8:53 am CDT

best advice

Quote From: rjbuckeye

Dr. Phil has done several shows now with out of control kids and kids that throw tantrums, and he has given pretty much the same advice to all of the parents. I was wondering if there are any posters out there that have tried his suggestions on their own kids. Has anyone stripped their kids rooms and had success/failure? I know for a lot of parents it is hard to break the habit of yelling. It is hard to stay calm with a tantrum is going on. Anyone have a success story to share, on how Dr. Phil helped them change their parenting style? 

  


Rachel 

dr. phil always says it takes 1000 thata girl to take away 1 bad comment.  I think, i know cause it has worked on my youngest son, he was a temper tantrum taker, big time, along with all that involves.  don't forget, one on one, draw picture sing songs play video games(non violent). do what ever gives you that good loving quality time with your child as much as possibe, and your child will learn to be just as kind to the other people in his\her life, because you showed them how.
 
September 20, 2005, 9:02 am CDT

Little mean girls

Quote From: missjane2

I have 4 kids and 3 of them boys.  Boys are different than girls.  I don't consider my boys to have ever been mean, but more:  DESTRUCTIVE.  I don't think it's necessarily the parents fault if the kids are like that.  I mean they have more than one child and each are different.  I think it is something within their internal make up.  My youngest cried 10 hours per day for the first year of his life.  He was collicky.  I couldn't go anywhere.  No one could hold him but me.  Now that he is 8, it has changed forms:  He call my cell phone 10 times per day and leaves messages.  I have a strong bond with him, probably more than the rest of the kids.  But things he has done include:  Push the screen out of his window and throw every stuffed animal on it to get a suntan, Get a fishing pole from the basement and cast it into the driveway to hook my 6 week puppy who had to be rushed to vet ER, He stands on his head in time out on a chair and kicks his foot against it because it is too boring for him, if I am gone for too long:  He takes the lace off my dining room table and puts 300 soldiers on it and lego towers that reach the ceiling and marbles as cannon balls and IRAQ war takes places on my nice dining room table.  I have SO MANY STORIES with him that the other kids don't have and I know it is something in his make up.  And he has answers for his behavior:  WHY ARE YOU GIVING THE DOG YOUR ICE CREAM CONE?   Duh Mom Just Cuz he's hungry.  Do I take the blame for this?  NOPE.

 You sound in total denial.  You make it sound as if, kids will be kids. Not true !  Parents have a much bigger role in how they turn out.  Most people, when they grow up, realize that you pick up on your parents behavior more than you sould think. there are somethings that I swore I would never do, but you know....I do them.   The parents are the ones who raise, support and give love no matter what.  So don't think that you have no influence and that, kids will be kids. The percentage of children who have behavior problems are from parents behaviors problems. Wake up ! 

  

  

  

  Lona 

 
September 20, 2005, 9:33 am CDT

09/20 Little Mean Girls

Quote From: lonalea200

 You sound in total denial.  You make it sound as if, kids will be kids. Not true !  Parents have a much bigger role in how they turn out.  Most people, when they grow up, realize that you pick up on your parents behavior more than you sould think. there are somethings that I swore I would never do, but you know....I do them.   The parents are the ones who raise, support and give love no matter what.  So don't think that you have no influence and that, kids will be kids. The percentage of children who have behavior problems are from parents behaviors problems. Wake up ! 

  

  

  

  Lona 

Well if you want this little boy to come stay with you for a week to see if you can do a better job?......  It's maybe what they  call the STRONG WILLED CHILD.  At 10:30 at night he comes to me with 5 board games and says "I want to play a game before I go to bed."  I say it's time to go to bed you have school tomorrow.  He says "I want to play some games."  I say "You are going to bed."  He says, "We are going to play some games and that's final!"   And let me tell you it's cute at first and almost funny.  But when a kid like this lives with you 24/7.  It WEARS on you and makes you tired.  You somehow  compromise and do give in.  He has brought 100 ants in a box into my nice kitchen because he thought I wanted to see them.  He has had 2 spiders in a jar living in my basement for a month that I only found out about when he ran to get them to show a visitor.  He collects bees nests.  When I screamed when I saw them in our garage, He said"  "Oh, don't worry mom I killed them all." 
 
September 20, 2005, 9:56 am CDT

09/20 Little Mean Girls

Quote From: missjane2

Well if you want this little boy to come stay with you for a week to see if you can do a better job?......  It's maybe what they  call the STRONG WILLED CHILD.  At 10:30 at night he comes to me with 5 board games and says "I want to play a game before I go to bed."  I say it's time to go to bed you have school tomorrow.  He says "I want to play some games."  I say "You are going to bed."  He says, "We are going to play some games and that's final!"   And let me tell you it's cute at first and almost funny.  But when a kid like this lives with you 24/7.  It WEARS on you and makes you tired.  You somehow  compromise and do give in.  He has brought 100 ants in a box into my nice kitchen because he thought I wanted to see them.  He has had 2 spiders in a jar living in my basement for a month that I only found out about when he ran to get them to show a visitor.  He collects bees nests.  When I screamed when I saw them in our garage, He said"  "Oh, don't worry mom I killed them all." 
Missjane, that is ridiculous!!  I have 3 kids myself, 14, 13 and 8 and even though I think EVERYTHING the little one does is cute and adorable, I would NEVER allow him to say "we're going to play some games and that's final"  HOLY CRAP!!  That's crazy!!  How on earth could you reward that kind of mouth?  You can bet  your bottom dollar that this child will speak like that to his teacher / principal / child care worker, etc. and is going to have his little heart broken when someone actually stands up to him.  I'll never understand how parents like you set your children up to fail in society.  Do you actually think that anyone other than you is going to put up w/that?  Why would let him go around thinking that acting that way is OK?  You're supposed to teach him the proper way to act, not set him up to fail.  And acting like that, he WILL fail.
 
September 20, 2005, 9:58 am CDT

09/20 Little Mean Girls

Quote From: missjane2

Well if you want this little boy to come stay with you for a week to see if you can do a better job?......  It's maybe what they  call the STRONG WILLED CHILD.  At 10:30 at night he comes to me with 5 board games and says "I want to play a game before I go to bed."  I say it's time to go to bed you have school tomorrow.  He says "I want to play some games."  I say "You are going to bed."  He says, "We are going to play some games and that's final!"   And let me tell you it's cute at first and almost funny.  But when a kid like this lives with you 24/7.  It WEARS on you and makes you tired.  You somehow  compromise and do give in.  He has brought 100 ants in a box into my nice kitchen because he thought I wanted to see them.  He has had 2 spiders in a jar living in my basement for a month that I only found out about when he ran to get them to show a visitor.  He collects bees nests.  When I screamed when I saw them in our garage, He said"  "Oh, don't worry mom I killed them all." 
  you  have got to be joking.  You decided to get pregnant.  And even if you did not choose to be pregnant , yoou are still responsable for that child.  Yes he is a kid. He brought you ants for God's sake .  lol    But as for the game, you have a duty as a parent to not give in.   I know it is tough but if you can't handle it you shouldn't have gotten pg.  this shild will grow up with your values and morels.  do you want your child to give in ?  So society gives him a hard time, but when this happenes he needs to know that he should not give in and put up with what society says.  He should be his own person not a person who gives in.
 
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