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Topic : 09/22 Are You a Racist?

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Created on : Friday, September 16, 2005, 04:33:40 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Dr. Phil's first guest, Charlie, admits that he's a racist and it's tearing apart his family. He has stopped speaking with his daughter, Virginia, because she's pregnant with a biracial child. With the baby due any minute, will Charlie miss out on the joy that comes with a grandchild?  Then, Rujon says he's prejudiced against his own race because he "acts white." Should he be concerned about what other people think? Plus, Marla's daughter, Daphne, has been missing for six years, and her photo was never shown on the news. Marla is angry and says missing African-Americans are ignored by the media. Dr. Phil attempts to even the coverage by putting photos of missing women of color front and center. Join the discussion.

 

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October 15, 2005, 8:24 am CDT

09/22 Are You a Racist?

Quote From: nicole984

i can also relate. growing up, i couldnt be-friend a single black girl, because i was too "white." i never understood what that ment. i was called everyhting in the book. i dont speak ebonics, and i cant understand it when other people do. nobody believes me when i say im born and raised in florida, b/c i dont have a southern drawl.  the thing that bothered me the most, is that i got made fun of by other black woman more than anything. i wasnt to light skinned, but i wasnt really dark either. im half indian and half jamaican, so they said im not really black.(explain that to me). and i had my hair pulled on all the time, b/c they wanted to know if its a weave. i didnt experiance any racism except from the black girls in school. so, b/c i didnt talk to them, i was labled a snob. i dont understand why some balck woman are turning against others, just b/c they're different, when we should be supporting each other. 

  

I hope you don't seriously think "ebonics" is a language. 

It's a ridiculous way of excusing an ignorant way of speaking. 

 
December 29, 2005, 9:55 am CST

You Can't Judge a Book by It's Cover

Quote From: motivator

I understand exactly what Rujon's friend meant when he said Rujon was acting white.  Rujon took the 'Bill O'Reilly" approach to responding by focusing on being articulate.  When Blacks speak of other Blacks "acting white", it has nothing to do with being articulate, educated or successful.  No one has ever accused Dr. Cornell West, Atty./talk show host Tavis Smiley or Dr. Maya Angelou of sounding white and they are each articulate and educated.  What we are referring to is not restricted to Blacks and is something that is a phenomenon among Jews, Asians, Hispanics and American Indians. 

  

I know Blacks who have not Black friends, date only people who are not Black, attend churches with a white congregation and have no Black professional service people: doctor, attorney, accountant, dry cleaner or auto mechanic. 

  

These Blacks also never go to see plays or movies by or about Blacks.  They don't listen to music by Blacks. 

  

These Blacks do everything they can not to be associated with their Blackness.  The pictures of Rujon showed him with white friends.  I bet he dates white.  His friend is probably his only Black friend.  Does he like Nascar because its white?  Does he watch football or basketball or does he avoid that because its "too Black".  So Dr. Phil there is some legitimacy.  Like Jews or Hispanics who change their name to Anglo and disassociated themselves from anyone or anything that reflects their heritage. 

For those of you that saw the segment on the show about Rujon, it seems you have formed many opinions about him  and Ty without getting to know them.  Some of you have even proven what Rujon has said all along.  Just because he associates with a certain group doesn't mean he doesn't  associate with other races of people.  Rujon loves people!  It doesn't matter to him what your skin color is or what your religion is.  If you treat him with respect, care and compassion he gives that back to you as well.  He and Ty even though it seems they have different views often work for the same goals when it comes to community things and call on each other for support.  They are definetly good friends and they choose to respect each others differences.  If it weren't for the differences of this world, it sure would be a boring place.  Differences are good.   It's how we choose to accept the differences of others that can cause a problem.  Rujon is my husband and I see how he deals with all types of people.  They geniuely love him and care for him.  In this town that we live in he is respected by all races.   Yes, I can identify with him on being said  to "act to white",  but like him,  I don't understand what that means.  We both know our heritage and understand and embrace it, and we teach our children about it as well.  However, we also know that people are people and should be judged on their own merit and standards.  We can no longer go around and put everyone into categories, for the simple reason that based on each individuals experiences and beliefs they may not fit into those categories. 

  

As far as Ty being Rujon's only black friend, that's not true he has many others.  As far as dating white  he has, but he married me a black woman.   As far as liking Nascar, he loves cars and collects them, not because it's"white".   And to answer your last question about whether or not he watches football or basketball he loves football and he watches basketball from time to time.  But the last time I checked football and basketball had other races of people playing as well not just blacks.     So,  as you see there is more to Rujon than what you saw in that short segment.  There is more to this man than what you see on the outside.  He's a very loving, caring, compassionate, hardworking, dedicated son, father and husband who believes that we all should look past the skin color and look for what really and truly makes a person.  That would be "character".   To know Rujon is to love him as I do. 

 
December 29, 2005, 10:02 am CST

You Can't Judge a Book by It's Cover

Quote From: motivator

I understand exactly what Rujon's friend meant when he said Rujon was acting white.  Rujon took the 'Bill O'Reilly" approach to responding by focusing on being articulate.  When Blacks speak of other Blacks "acting white", it has nothing to do with being articulate, educated or successful.  No one has ever accused Dr. Cornell West, Atty./talk show host Tavis Smiley or Dr. Maya Angelou of sounding white and they are each articulate and educated.  What we are referring to is not restricted to Blacks and is something that is a phenomenon among Jews, Asians, Hispanics and American Indians. 

  

I know Blacks who have not Black friends, date only people who are not Black, attend churches with a white congregation and have no Black professional service people: doctor, attorney, accountant, dry cleaner or auto mechanic. 

  

These Blacks also never go to see plays or movies by or about Blacks.  They don't listen to music by Blacks. 

  

These Blacks do everything they can not to be associated with their Blackness.  The pictures of Rujon showed him with white friends.  I bet he dates white.  His friend is probably his only Black friend.  Does he like Nascar because its white?  Does he watch football or basketball or does he avoid that because its "too Black".  So Dr. Phil there is some legitimacy.  Like Jews or Hispanics who change their name to Anglo and disassociated themselves from anyone or anything that reflects their heritage. 

For those of you that saw the segment on the show about Rujon, it seems you have formed many opinions about him  and Ty without getting to know them.  Some of you have even proven what Rujon has said all along.  Just because he associates with a certain group doesn't mean he doesn't  associate with other races of people.  Rujon loves people!  It doesn't matter to him what your skin color is or what your religion is.  If you treat him with respect, care and compassion he gives that back to you as well.  He and Ty even though it seems they have different views often work for the same goals when it comes to community things and call on each other for support.  They are definetly good friends and they choose to respect each others differences.  If it weren't for the differences of this world, it sure would be a boring place.  Differences are good.   It's how we choose to accept the differences of others that can cause a problem.  Rujon is my husband and I see how he deals with all types of people.  They geniuely love him and care for him.  In this town that we live in he is respected by all races.   Yes, I can identify with him on being said  to "act to white",  but like him,  I don't understand what that means.  We both know our heritage and understand and embrace it, and we teach our children about it as well.  However, we also know that people are people and should be judged on their own merit and standards.  We can no longer go around and put everyone into categories, for the simple reason that based on each individuals experiences and beliefs they may not fit into those categories. 

  

As far as Ty being Rujon's only black friend, that's not true he has many others.  As far as dating white  he has, but he married me a black woman.   As far as liking Nascar, he loves cars and collects them, not because it's"white".   And to answer your last question about whether or not he watches football or basketball he loves football and he watches basketball from time to time.  But the last time I checked football and basketball had other races of people playing as well not just blacks.     So,  as you see there is more to Rujon than what you saw in that short segment.  There is more to this man than what you see on the outside.  He's a very loving, caring, compassionate, hardworking, dedicated son, father and husband who believes that we all should look past the skin color and look for what really and truly makes a person.  That would be "character".   To know Rujon is to love him as I do. 

 
September 12, 2008, 3:09 pm CDT

PAUL IS A RACIST...

My goodness today I was sad watching the show...why do we have to be in a war with this generation when these things happened so many years ago.  I see the pain of the africian american people but they are living in the past somewhat.  Its the same here in Canada with Native Indian groups...we are still paying for what our forefathers did hundreds of years ago.  I think when both sides - all races come together things will improve...even on  the show...this lady on the panel said - when asked by the white gentleman...would you say the word if you were pasionate with me???  She says...no way that would ever happen...never happen...!!!  I say that is racist.  I was in an inerracional marriage and wow, I was shocked to fine out how racist the other side is. 

 

Paul - the guy on the show...wow, he has issues - I thought he would have a stroke...He was dishing it out faster then anyone I have seen in a long time.  He needs to check the video of the show and maybe he will see that for himself.

The guy from CSI - wow, what a gentle man...he made his points in a kind and sensitive way...I like him.

I come from a family of 15 children and yes, I have issues - but I don't push them on others like Paul...wow,

 

Come on this is the 21st century...grow up.  Yes there are racist people out there - but they are 'now' in the minority...don't make us pay for what others did.

 

I even think Oprah is racist...I love her but at times she makes see that and it concerns me that even she is that way....

 

I may be sensitive but I know there is so much work to be done with every race...we can always improve...that is a good thing...keeps us grounded ...just like in a marriage.

 

Wish I was better expressing how I feel.

 

 

 
September 12, 2008, 4:15 pm CDT

am i a racist?

How can anyone tell if we are racist or not. It seems that no matter what we say or don't say about anyone we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. I am in canada. So we deal with the "north american natives" issue. So for how long are we supposed to pay for what happened to their ancestors. For how long do we give them everything while we pay for everything for us AND for them. What about the decendents of those people that are so far removed and yet expect treaty cards and special treatment. a good example is a relative that married someone who's grandmother was 1/2 indian.  now  this relative has started going to treaty meetings to get their cards so their children and their grandchildren can get their treaty cards, which they were successful in geting. that means subsidised college education, free dental and medical and many other things. these grandchildren on this relative are blonder and more blue eyed than you can imagine. they are so far removed from their 1/2 indian greatgreat grandmother. So you tell me what promotes racial problems when things like this go on. When these indians didn't live here forever before us. They walked here when there was no ocean to stop them from crossing over. They were starving here when the white people came. but regardless, they are constantly wanting more and our governments keep giving them more....out of guilt? who knows. i certainly don't feel guilty. i didn't do anything to them or their ancestors. so how long does this have to go on. how far down the line will the government keep handing out freebies and welfare while the rest of us work so hard for what we have.

So while you have to deal with racial problems with blacks in the states we deal with racial problems with the indians in canada. it is world wide. sad. they are canadian just like me. they have the same opportunities just like us. can go to school can work but they have a chip on their shoulders a mile wide and if things don't go their way they cry about how sad their life is and "i am a treaty indian".

 
September 12, 2008, 6:02 pm CDT

some experience

I would first like to start off by saying I am not a racist, however I have been accused of being one.  You see I work as a hostess and a waitress at a breakfast place.  People of all different races come in and eat there.  I do not show any of them any special privileges.  We have a counter where people may eat at that is first come first serve, HOWEVER if we are on a wait and someone is waiting for a seat at the counter another person cant come in and just sit down.  This is explained to the guests when they come in to our store.  I suppose I should tell you that I am a white woman.  Now on with the story.  I can remember an instance where there happened to be a white man that had his name on the list for the counter and a black woman came in and asked to sit at the counter.  I informed her that the gentleman had been waiting for the counter and that she could sit at the counter when another seat was open.  She then turned it in to some kind of racist act.  When it clearly was not.  Having clearly explained the seating situation to her there was no reason for her to call me a racist.  I feel that when people do what that woman did that it continues racism.  If this situation were reversed and I had been that woman and she was the host I would have understood.  I think that some people white, black, asian, hispanic or whatever they may be are so set in their ways that no talk show will change their views on other races.  I have friends that are black. friends that are chinese. friends that are fillipino. friends that are hindu.  I think that every culture is so wonderful and interesting.  I just think that it is a shame that people of today that had nothing to do with issues of the past are still being blamed.  Example: slavery.  It was a horrible and terrible thing that should not have happened but it did.  I was not born in the age of slavery, so why should I be punished? and why is it still an issue? Another example: 9/11.  After 9/11 a lot of middle eastern people were attacked because people thought that they had something to do with the attacks simply because they were middle eastern.  That is simply absurd.  I just think that racism will never end if people continue to stereotype people.  My family still uses derogatory words against black people and other races.  I HATE that.  It makes me sick.  Everyone deserves to be treated with the same respect.  They should be judged based on the kind of person they are, like whether they are kind to others and take of their family . . etc. etc.  If people continue to place blame on certain races for certain acts then nothing will change. and honestly.. i do not think it will change because there are still people out there that say so and so is a racist simply because they did not get what they wanted.  They pull the race card.  I have even had black people that I work with say that they would pull the race card on someone if they would get something out of it.  I could not believe it.  And another thing; people say that we should not be letting people immigrate here and live and work.  I will never understand that.  If it were not for immigration NO ONE would be here.  People dont think about that though.  Where does this nonsense stop?
 
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