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Topic : 12/19 The Honeymoon's Over!

Number of Replies: 244
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, September 23, 2005, 04:41:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Airdate: 09/26/05) One in 12 couples call it quits within 24 months of tying the knot. Dr. Phil's guests haven't even been married a year, and they already want to pull off their wedding bands and end their marriage! Did they know each other well enough before they said "I do"? Shamika says she wants to be treated like a southern belle, but her husband, Marlon, says she needs to get off her pedestal. Is Shamika asking too much? Plus, Miranda and Donny say the honeymoon was over before their suitcases were unpacked. So why is Miranda desperate to get pregnant, and should they have gotten married in the first place? Tune in for what you need to consider before making a lifetime commitment. Share your thoughts here.

 

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September 24, 2005, 7:58 pm CDT

Hello..Your singing my song!

I have been with my Husband for 10 years but we just celebrated our 1st wedding aniversary.  In retrospect (we) should have not gotten married like we did.  Sept 1, 04 we went and applied for our marriage lic.  Sept 2, 04 My father died.  On Sept 17, 04 we were eloping anyway and we just actually went away to the Poconos for the weekend because that is all we could afford with our friends on our Honeymoon.  This honeymoon was over long before it began and boy is that sad.  I love my husband but I am Very sad over alot of thing to intricate to get into here it would take up too  much space really.  I should of had enough courage to listen to my little voice inside me.  I should not bring any pain on him for "me being" mentally Ill which actually I think that is somewhat phantom because continually I find myself dumming myself down to his level of comprehension which frustrates me never being recognized for ANYTHING and in life if I should have been a cook or a gee great cleaner well that would be it...But folks he married the wrong girl!  I am a dreamer a conciever a believer...I know this is a man's world  I didnt ask anyone to burn there bra for me but PLEASE let me play in the sandbox and NEVER say I am stupid  or my brain energy or I cannot understand...It is the HUS that is limited  that is clueless and I am 3/4 out the door.  He needs to wake up quick!  How's that for adding to the disussion?
 
September 25, 2005, 10:02 am CDT

Mikai

I thought Mikai was going to be on Fridays up date show I watched so I could see what is happening with him. Where was he dis my vcr miss somethin? Does anyone know when we'll hear from him agein>
 
September 25, 2005, 10:36 am CDT

Looking forward to this show

I too am looking forward to this show. I have been married for less than one year and it has been the rockiest time of my life.
 
September 25, 2005, 4:32 pm CDT

The First Year is the Hardest

Quote From: auburnjenn

I too am looking forward to this show. I have been married for less than one year and it has been the rockiest time of my life.

  

  Hey...first off I am by no means trying to give marital advice.  I have been married for almost 3 years.  My husband and I dated for 5 years before we got married and our whole relationship was horrible.  About 9 months before we finally got married I had our first kid.  I know that our marriage was rushed.  Lets see..."getting married was the right thing to do", my dad was dying from cancer, and our relationship was still on the rocks.  Needless to say we were engaged Sept '02 and married Jan 4, 2003.  The first year was absolutely horrible.  We didn't really get a honeymoon cuz we had to come home to get the baby and my new grandfather-in-law was having surgery.  Lets say I was a little bitter about all that.  But after the first year things just seem to get better.  We actually learned more about eachother in that year then we had in the five that we dated.  We were already living together so that wasn't a surprise.  I know that there were times that I wanted to throw in the towel and say..this was a HUGE mistake.  I'm sooo happy that I decided to stick it out.  I have never been happier in my life then I am right now.  I hope that you will try just a lil longer.  I don't know ur whole situation, but if things are not abusive then I say it's worth the try.  U obviously married this man for a reason...lets see if that reason can outstand the things that are making your marriage rocky.  Best wishes and Good luck 

  

 
September 25, 2005, 4:49 pm CDT

Thought so too...

Quote From: christa575

I thought Mikai was going to be on Fridays up date show I watched so I could see what is happening with him. Where was he dis my vcr miss somethin? Does anyone know when we'll hear from him agein>
I thought so too - I honestly believe I saw an ad for that show that mentioned Michai's family,  and the cheating doctor and his wife. I am baffled as to why I think this.
I would love to have an update - did you think you saw some kind of promotion for that show too?
 
September 25, 2005, 5:03 pm CDT

hello, doesn't anyone believe in trying anymore!

 My husband and i have been together for nearly 11 years, married for 2 years and you know what i can't even imagine being with anyone else. We have three beautiful children, with their ages being 9 years, 5 years and 1 years our relationship is trying at the best of times, but believe it or not we both try very hard in our marriage. Our marriage is not perfect, we still argue (face it, who doesn't?) but we are open and honest with each other, we sit down after the children go to bed and work everything out, we never go to bed angry as you only wake up angry, and the cycle continue's.
You know what forget what's happened in the past and start a new!!!!
Sit down, both of you and think of what you both want from the marriage and each other (and be honest, nothing comes good from with holding things from your partner)
Now you can sit down face each other and tell each other what you have on your list, swap lists and compromise, it's not all about getting, you've got to give as well.
Romance each other Take each other out start again
it's not all about romancing woman either as man really like to be romanced, looked after
I love when my kids go to bed, then i'll put some candles on in the bedroom and give my husband a massage (loves it) and then i'll get one in return(love it)
just little things we both love!
Because my kids & myself have sport all week my husband comes home from work brings in the washing, folds and makes dinner( i don't ask him to do it, he just does, and to me this is the best thing he could do )
Don't jump to the extreme just try, you'll find it's all worth it in the end.
What's a couple of years out of your life (nothing, when you could end up with what i have A beautiful and caring husband and 3 beautiful children.)

I couldn't ask for my life to be any different

Hope this helps all you struggling couples!

 
September 25, 2005, 5:50 pm CDT

Life wasn't meant to be easy.

I apologize if I sound sanctimonious, but why is this even up for discussion. 

RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK

MY QUESTION IS ...ARE AMERICANS INCREDIBLY NAIVE OR ARE THEY SPOILT BEYOND RECOGNITION.  IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT THEN WORK HARDER, TRY DIFFERENT THINGS BUT QUITTING SHOULDN'T BE THE FIRST OPTION YOU THINK OF.
 

 

 

IS THIS MENTALITY A PRODUCT OF THE NEW INSTANT LIFESTYLE,  

TELEVISION'S 30 SECOND ADVERTISING BITE, 

 FAST FOOD, 

 FAST CARS, 

 FAST TRACKING CAREERS, 

 INSTANT MESSAGING, 

 FAST BANKING.   

 

 

YOU GIVE THE REST OF THE WORLD THE IMPRESSION, THAT YOU HAVE NO PATIENCE AND WILL NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHOICES. 

 

 

IS MATURITY AND DEVELOPMENT OF ETHICS, INTEGRITY AND COMMITMENT NOW BEYOND YOUR REACH IN YOUR NEW MTV SOCIETY? 

 

 

IT IS A SAD INDICTMENT ON A NATION WITH AN IMPRESSIVE HISTORY OF STRUGGLE AGAINST THE ODDS AT YOUR INCEPTION THAT YOU NOW HAVE THE WORST DIVORCE RATE. 

  

 

CONFUSED AUSTRALIAN.   

 
September 25, 2005, 7:54 pm CDT

some advice

Quote From: auburnjenn

I too am looking forward to this show. I have been married for less than one year and it has been the rockiest time of my life.
While I dont know what exactly is causing your marriage to be rocky I thought I would suggest a really good book.  I'm usually skeptical of books but this book is extremely insightful for us girls.  It is called "For Women Only- what you need to know about the inner lives of men".  by Shaunti Feldhahn.  This book was given to me by my mother in law.  My husband and I have been married since July 2nd of this year and things can get a little confusing sometimes.  He just deployed to Iraq yesterday and we had to make sure we had a strong foundation for our marriage before he is going to be gone for a year.   After reading this book I confirmed a lot of the things it said with my husband and he gained some insight into what is going on in my head.  Hope this helps.
 
September 25, 2005, 9:42 pm CDT

Thank you

Quote From: angiepangi

While I dont know what exactly is causing your marriage to be rocky I thought I would suggest a really good book.  I'm usually skeptical of books but this book is extremely insightful for us girls.  It is called "For Women Only- what you need to know about the inner lives of men".  by Shaunti Feldhahn.  This book was given to me by my mother in law.  My husband and I have been married since July 2nd of this year and things can get a little confusing sometimes.  He just deployed to Iraq yesterday and we had to make sure we had a strong foundation for our marriage before he is going to be gone for a year.   After reading this book I confirmed a lot of the things it said with my husband and he gained some insight into what is going on in my head.  Hope this helps.
Thanks - I have heard of this book in the past week actually, and am interested in getting it. I have read "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" - is this like that (if you've read that)?
We have just been through some crazy times for newlyweds. He got transferred across the country; we get there and he then travels for work non-stop and I am left alone for weeks at a time in a strange state. Three months into it, he gets laid off. We used all our savings to move back "home" and have been unable to find decent jobs since then. It truly has just been one thing after another - NOTHING like I thought it would be! Thanks for the reply - I appreciate it -
 
September 25, 2005, 9:46 pm CDT

Response...

Quote From: tasquith

I apologize if I sound sanctimonious, but why is this even up for discussion. 

RELATIONSHIPS TAKE WORK

MY QUESTION IS ...ARE AMERICANS INCREDIBLY NAIVE OR ARE THEY SPOILT BEYOND RECOGNITION.  IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT THEN WORK HARDER, TRY DIFFERENT THINGS BUT QUITTING SHOULDN'T BE THE FIRST OPTION YOU THINK OF.
 

 

 

IS THIS MENTALITY A PRODUCT OF THE NEW INSTANT LIFESTYLE,  

TELEVISION'S 30 SECOND ADVERTISING BITE, 

 FAST FOOD, 

 FAST CARS, 

 FAST TRACKING CAREERS, 

 INSTANT MESSAGING, 

 FAST BANKING.   

 

 

YOU GIVE THE REST OF THE WORLD THE IMPRESSION, THAT YOU HAVE NO PATIENCE AND WILL NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR CHOICES. 

 

 

IS MATURITY AND DEVELOPMENT OF ETHICS, INTEGRITY AND COMMITMENT NOW BEYOND YOUR REACH IN YOUR NEW MTV SOCIETY? 

 

 

IT IS A SAD INDICTMENT ON A NATION WITH AN IMPRESSIVE HISTORY OF STRUGGLE AGAINST THE ODDS AT YOUR INCEPTION THAT YOU NOW HAVE THE WORST DIVORCE RATE. 

  

 

CONFUSED AUSTRALIAN.   

I appreciate your interest, and it's not sanctimonious at all. I do believe that the whole American lifestyle is so fast-paced with such instant gratification that it is difficult to "wait" for anything! How do I know? Because I am in a new marriage and there are several times I've already thought, "well, I could just get a divorce and it would be easier." This is coming from a girl who never believed in divorce ever! I can't give you a straight answer, but I do think it is a generational/lifestyle thing in which when people are dissatisfied, they just "switch" - if that makes any sense. Looking forward to the show to see what he says....
 
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