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September 30, 2005, 6:17 am PDT
Dont be helpless
Quote From: falucchi You wrote "the meds will NOT work if the child doesn't have the problem. " But what if the problem is NOT the kid?
You know what.... I don't mean to come off sounding pissy, but I guess I'm really angry. I'll tell you why. My nephew will be 7 years old next month. His mother put him on drugs last year, swearing her doctor said he had ADD. In my mind, I think the kid's on his way to becoming a speed freak (Adderall is pure amphetamine-- will he be on street meth or speed as a teenager because he'll be addicted to it?.)
I'm angry because:
She feeds him a diet of 90% packaged foods, soda pop, candy, Slurpees, and junk.
She has no real "bed time" and lets him fall asleep "whenever" - on the sofa to the sounds of CSI-Miami!
She has a HUGE anger issue and is constantly yelling, screaming and beating on her husband (my brother) The house is usually in an uproar 99% of the time.
My brother leaves the house when the fights "get bad" so the kid sees his mom screaming and his dad walking out the door ALL THE TIME. This is what he's learning.
She's "nice" when she gets her way, so the kid sees that acting insane WORKS.
His parents sit on their butts and yell at him, rather than get up and TEACH him, so he's learned to totally tune them out. No, he doesn't "listen." I wouldn't listen to a couple of loud-mouths either!
He acts like a zombie when he's on drugs and SHE PREFERS IT that way because it's easier!!!!! She can sit undisturbed around the house smoking, playing internet computer games and drinking Coke.
And now I get angry when people say DRUGS will help this kid, as you say, "live a NORMAL life." He doesn't HAVE a normal life, and the reason why he can't focus or sit still, or "listen" is because his entire LIFE IS CHAOS. This is what gets me very worked up about drugging kids. And I doubt this situation is unusual. I'm pretty sure many many families live in chaos due to divorce, remarriages, step/half siblings, moving, anger issues, etc. etc. etc.
Meanwhile.... when he's at grandma's house for 2-3 days and his body/mind become clear, he eats no sugar, sleeps in a bed at 8pm, swims, exercises, learns, plays, helps grandma, has loads of fruits and vegetables, does VERY WELL in his Karate class, sits and reads, loves to do "big boy" stuff (like yard work!) and is a completely different kid.
(Side Note: His mother and doctor decided to also put him on an ADULT DOSAGE of Singulair --don't forget the boy is 6 years old-- because the boy "has allergies". Well.... the mother smokes a pack of Marlboros a day, never opens a window in the house, and they have THREE cats using litter boxes and a hamster living in a cage of shredded "mulch." The boy has "allergies" like he has "ADD")
This is why I get so ticked off and call it "overmedicating." Because I see the harm it's doing to my little nephew, I'm helpless to do anything, his mother is an uneducated slob who takes the easy road every time, and I'm angry about that. You arent helpless in trying to do anything. You do have avenues you can explore. There is chidrens social services, there is communication with your borther, there is therapy, there are many things you can do to try and help your nephew.
Please dont take the "im helpless to do anything" road. Instead, take a stand and fight for your nephew. Someone needs to. Get your family together and ACT. Whatever it takes, for as long as needs be, to help this child.
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When Tom Cruise gave his opinion about the drugging of America, he created a firestorm of controversy. Are we an overmedicated nation? Dave and Jill feel as if their 7-year-old son is holding them hostage in their own home. He's on three medications, but his uncontrollable fits of rage are destroying their marriage. Is this a real medical issue or a parenting problem? Then, two women with powerful personal stories debate the "Cruise controversy." They both think their opinion is right, but what does Dr. Phil think? Plus, an outraged father confronts his ex-wife and demands that she stop medicating their 9-year-old son. Talk about the show here.
