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Topic : 08/24 The Family Cult

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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:30:22 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

(Original Air Date: 10/03/05) Imagine growing up in a cult where you are forced to have sex with strangers -- when you’re as young as 5. Dr. Phil talks to people who escaped the group known as the Children of God, and need help moving on. Meet a daughter who says she can’t forgive her father for the years of painful abuse she suffered at the hands of this cult. How can she reconnect with her dad and start trusting again? Plus, China and her husband, John, are building a new life after leaving the group, where they were forced to have sex with strangers when they were both underage. They’ve had a difficult time adjusting to the outside world, and China wonders if she should prosecute her parents for abuse. What does Dr. Phil think? Talk about the show here.

 

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October 3, 2005, 8:24 pm PDT

10/03 The Family Cult

Quote From: juliakelly

My name is Julia Kelly, seventeen years old, and I was born and grew up in the Family International. Never once was I ever abused in any way, physically, sexually, emotionally or otherwise. I was home schooled my whole life, and very happy with the results. I feel just as educated, if not more so, than any student fresh out of high school.  Home schooling, by the way, is something done by hundreds of thousands of citizens all over the United States and not at all unusual. 

For the record, though it seems ridiculous to even mention, I have written checks, opened my own bank account, have a high school diploma, am working on my drivers license, and know how to use a vending machine (If you get it, you get it).  

Living in a Family home, I have a life that supplies my every need, I am advancing in my chosen field of work, happy and fulfilled with what I spend my days doing, in a loving, caring, supportive environment. If I had the slightest inkling that any abuse or mistreatment was going on in my house, (where there are eight children under the age of five), I would report it to authorities without delay. 

I have reiterated this statement numerous times, as have hundreds of current second-generation Family members. I live my life for others in a Christian organization that has only ever helped me to be a better person and live a happy life. All I’m asking is that I be able to continue to do so without my way of life being slandered and my organization being made out to be an abusive, unsafe, malicious cult.  

That’s the long and the short of it. I won’t feel guilty because I don’t have time to rebut every accusation and complaint made – the facts are there if you’re looking for them. I have a wonderful life that I’d rather live to the full than spend defending to those who have not moved on with theirs.  

To the general public, check your facts, please. Don’t let it be said of you that you’ll believe the first thing you read and run with it, you’re better than that. Go to www.myconclusion.com and read for yourself what current and former Family members have to say about The Family International. Make up your mind after having heard both sides and see which one holds more water. 

Julia, I'm glad you're a happy teenager. But you see, most of the abuses that we're talking about all happened BEFORE you were born. I believe you that you have probably never seen any of the abuses we speak of, because by the time you were old enough, WE, my peers, were your 'teachers'.  

  

Abuse is very relative to those being abused. When I was in your cult, I had no idea that life as I knew it was not as life should be. I had no childhood, I had adult responsibilities at the tender age of 6. Once you become a parent, as I have done, you'll realise that children should be allowed to exoerience loss of innocence on their own, during their teenage years, and will do so without your help. Once this happens, their lives will never be the same. When we were children, we lost our innocence at the ages of 4, 5, 6, & 7.  

  

I never knew that having to go out and raise money to pay the rent at the age of 5 was wrong, or child abuse. I never realised that seeing my parents and other adults naked and in sexual situations was abuse. I never realised that when an adult man would touch me sexually and make comments to me that it was abuse. It didn't seem like abuse when I danced naked at 7 for my 'grandpa'  Berg, the ancient founding father of the group.  

  

Not even when I first left did I fully grasp enormity of what I had gone through. It was only once I had my own child that I began to re-evaluate what I knew to be the process for raising children against what I now saw in every-day life. There is nothing I would do for my child! I would never let her ask perfect strangers for money to live when I know I can go out a get a job so that she can play, go to school (a state-accredited school), ride her bike and play twister with her cousins and their puppy....now that's a childhood and I swell with pride that I was able to escape from the wreck of my childhood to provide this new life for my child.  

 

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October 3, 2005, 8:51 pm PDT

A survivor

I am a survivor of abuse at the hands of my parents. I also was born into a cult and just was able to get away from it 3 years ago. I struggle everyday with what has happened to me. There is still abuse going on in my life that I cannot seem to get away from. Even the courts and police do not help me. Please remember the ones that still suffer from the horrendous abuse that the one's of us that have been through. I continue to try to get help and just get turned away. Don't forget the one's that are still out there trying to continue to survive.
 
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October 3, 2005, 8:54 pm PDT

I Just Dont Get It

After watching the Dr.Phil show and doing some research of my own I do believe that "The Family" or "Children of God" is a terrible description of a Godly organization.  But, what i really don't understand is why is there not being more done about this?  Not only this cult but the mormons in colorado city?  If the president has all the power then why can't he or other govermnet offcials arrest all of there people involved in sexual abuse and physical abuse.  I understand there is a boundary between government and the church but, when abuse gets involved something extreme should be done to these people.  There are so many second generation members defending this religion by saying they grew up so happy and loving with none of this abuse going on.  This might be the case with some people involved with this religion, but if their religion stemed from a founder who promoted sexual abuse with children isnt that reason enough to know their religion is false and ungodly.  It might not be going on now, but it stemed from so many terrible things.  No true relgion is first started with sexual abuse with children.  They are following a religion that stemed by a very sick sexually twisted man.  I would love for anyone who disagrees to email me sarah_ray420@yahoo.com maybe i could talk some since into you.
 
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October 3, 2005, 9:38 pm PDT

THIS IS SICK

This is horrible.  It seems to me that these men who are in control of these cults are just brain-washing women into thinking that their behavior is OK and that God approves.  I think that they use there tactics to be able to have there way with young girls and as far as I concerned, they all should be punished for this behavior...and when they do meet God, they will be punished. I can't believe that there are women who would go along with this.  My gosh, how ignorant can people be???? 

 
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October 3, 2005, 9:39 pm PDT

10/03 The Family Cult

Quote From: haunted26

Julia, I'm glad you're a happy teenager. But you see, most of the abuses that we're talking about all happened BEFORE you were born. I believe you that you have probably never seen any of the abuses we speak of, because by the time you were old enough, WE, my peers, were your 'teachers'.  

  

Abuse is very relative to those being abused. When I was in your cult, I had no idea that life as I knew it was not as life should be. I had no childhood, I had adult responsibilities at the tender age of 6. Once you become a parent, as I have done, you'll realise that children should be allowed to exoerience loss of innocence on their own, during their teenage years, and will do so without your help. Once this happens, their lives will never be the same. When we were children, we lost our innocence at the ages of 4, 5, 6, & 7.  

  

I never knew that having to go out and raise money to pay the rent at the age of 5 was wrong, or child abuse. I never realised that seeing my parents and other adults naked and in sexual situations was abuse. I never realised that when an adult man would touch me sexually and make comments to me that it was abuse. It didn't seem like abuse when I danced naked at 7 for my 'grandpa'  Berg, the ancient founding father of the group.  

  

Not even when I first left did I fully grasp enormity of what I had gone through. It was only once I had my own child that I began to re-evaluate what I knew to be the process for raising children against what I now saw in every-day life. There is nothing I would do for my child! I would never let her ask perfect strangers for money to live when I know I can go out a get a job so that she can play, go to school (a state-accredited school), ride her bike and play twister with her cousins and their puppy....now that's a childhood and I swell with pride that I was able to escape from the wreck of my childhood to provide this new life for my child.  

Julia, 

Thank God and consider yourself fortunate...you were a lucky one!!!  

 
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October 3, 2005, 9:57 pm PDT

10/03 The Family Cult

Quote From: haunted26

Julia, I'm glad you're a happy teenager. But you see, most of the abuses that we're talking about all happened BEFORE you were born. I believe you that you have probably never seen any of the abuses we speak of, because by the time you were old enough, WE, my peers, were your 'teachers'.  

  

Abuse is very relative to those being abused. When I was in your cult, I had no idea that life as I knew it was not as life should be. I had no childhood, I had adult responsibilities at the tender age of 6. Once you become a parent, as I have done, you'll realise that children should be allowed to exoerience loss of innocence on their own, during their teenage years, and will do so without your help. Once this happens, their lives will never be the same. When we were children, we lost our innocence at the ages of 4, 5, 6, & 7.  

  

I never knew that having to go out and raise money to pay the rent at the age of 5 was wrong, or child abuse. I never realised that seeing my parents and other adults naked and in sexual situations was abuse. I never realised that when an adult man would touch me sexually and make comments to me that it was abuse. It didn't seem like abuse when I danced naked at 7 for my 'grandpa'  Berg, the ancient founding father of the group.  

  

Not even when I first left did I fully grasp enormity of what I had gone through. It was only once I had my own child that I began to re-evaluate what I knew to be the process for raising children against what I now saw in every-day life. There is nothing I would do for my child! I would never let her ask perfect strangers for money to live when I know I can go out a get a job so that she can play, go to school (a state-accredited school), ride her bike and play twister with her cousins and their puppy....now that's a childhood and I swell with pride that I was able to escape from the wreck of my childhood to provide this new life for my child.  

  I would think that if the second generation suffered abuse they would in turn become abusers themselves.you see I studied a little bit of psychology myself.  

  

  Abuse runs in Families, the parents abuse the kids then the kids in turn abuse their siblings and eventually it starts itself all over with the next generation.  

  I have no doubt that some abuse occured 15 to 20 years ago. But if the second generation members are now the "teachers" and no abuses if occuring now, what does that have to say about the group today?  

  This tells me that abuse was not as widespread as some would claim. Otherwise you'd see more abuse happening now at the hands of the abused second generation. 

  The testimonials from current young people in the Family indicate that they are for the most part happy and they believe that what they are doing is a for a good cause.  

  If you look at the evidence you would see that abuse occured over a period spanning the early to mid eighties, what the group practiced in before seems to have changed for whatever reasons and it seems like the family communities are reasonably safe places to raise children.  

   

   

 
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October 3, 2005, 10:35 pm PDT

To All The Abused Children/

Quote From: fruittune

  I would think that if the second generation suffered abuse they would in turn become abusers themselves.you see I studied a little bit of psychology myself.  

  

  Abuse runs in Families, the parents abuse the kids then the kids in turn abuse their siblings and eventually it starts itself all over with the next generation.  

  I have no doubt that some abuse occured 15 to 20 years ago. But if the second generation members are now the "teachers" and no abuses if occuring now, what does that have to say about the group today?  

  This tells me that abuse was not as widespread as some would claim. Otherwise you'd see more abuse happening now at the hands of the abused second generation. 

  The testimonials from current young people in the Family indicate that they are for the most part happy and they believe that what they are doing is a for a good cause.  

  If you look at the evidence you would see that abuse occured over a period spanning the early to mid eighties, what the group practiced in before seems to have changed for whatever reasons and it seems like the family communities are reasonably safe places to raise children.  

   

   

Thank You for Sharing your Stories and for being so brave.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
 
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October 4, 2005, 3:44 am PDT

well check THIS out!

Quote From: bk8666

This is there website they try to make themselves look normal 

 

http://www.thefamily.org/about/davidberg.php 

here's where they don't get to fool anyone!

http://www.exfamily.org
 
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October 4, 2005, 4:04 am PDT

Thanks for Info

Quote From: actsmom

Did you hear recently on the local news that this cult leader was thought to be in or around the Leesburg area (near Orlando)?  I haven't heard anything in the past couple of weeks so I don't know if he was located or not.  Maybe once it hit the news he fled elsewhere.
Thank you for the information.  I did not realize when I heard that news bit,  that was the cult they were talking about.  Leesburg is a good hour drive from where I live, up north.  There has not been any further stories on his location or capture down here.  I can tell you that is a big farm area but developers are taking over lots of land and it is becoming one of the largest senior developments going.  If Dr. Phil would not feel it appropriate, I would trust his decision.
 
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October 4, 2005, 4:43 am PDT

10/03 The Family Cult

Quote From: fruittune

  I would think that if the second generation suffered abuse they would in turn become abusers themselves.you see I studied a little bit of psychology myself.  

  

  Abuse runs in Families, the parents abuse the kids then the kids in turn abuse their siblings and eventually it starts itself all over with the next generation.  

  I have no doubt that some abuse occured 15 to 20 years ago. But if the second generation members are now the "teachers" and no abuses if occuring now, what does that have to say about the group today?  

  This tells me that abuse was not as widespread as some would claim. Otherwise you'd see more abuse happening now at the hands of the abused second generation. 

  The testimonials from current young people in the Family indicate that they are for the most part happy and they believe that what they are doing is a for a good cause.  

  If you look at the evidence you would see that abuse occured over a period spanning the early to mid eighties, what the group practiced in before seems to have changed for whatever reasons and it seems like the family communities are reasonably safe places to raise children.  

   

   

 http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/refpages/RefArtTextonly.aspx?refid=761562624&find=1   

IV. Causes  

Many people have difficulty understanding why any person would hurt a child. The public often assumes that people who abuse their children suffer from mental disorders, but fewer than 10 percent of abusers have mental illnesses. Most abusers love their children but tend to have less patience and less mature personalities than other parents. These traits make it difficult to cope with the demands of their children and increase the likelihood of physical or emotional abuse.  

However, there is no single explanation for child maltreatment. Child abuse results from a complex combination of personal, social, and cultural factors. These may be grouped into four primary categories: (1) intergenerational transmission of violence, (2) social stress, (3) social isolation and low community involvement, and (4) family structure.  

  

A. Intergenerational Transmission of Violence  

Many people have difficulty understanding why any person would hurt a child. The public often assumes that people who abuse their children suffer from mental disorders, but fewer than 10 percent of abusers have mental illnesses. Most abusers love their children but tend to have less patience and less mature personalities than other parents. These traits make it difficult to cope with the demands of their children and increase the likelihood of physical or emotional abuse.  

However, there is no single explanation for child maltreatment. Child abuse results from a complex combination of personal, social, and cultural factors. These may be grouped into four primary categories: (1) intergenerational transmission of violence, (2) social stress, (3) social isolation and low community involvement, and (4) family structure.  

Many children learn violent behavior from their parents and then grow up to abuse their own children. Thus, the abusive behavior is transmitted across generations. Studies show that some 30 percent of abused children become abusive parents, whereas only 2 to 3 percent of all individuals become abusive parents. Children who experience abuse and violence may adopt this behavior as a model for their own parenting.  

However, the majority of abused children do not become abusive adults. Some experts believe that an important predictor of later abuse is whether the child realizes that the behavior was wrong. Children who believe they behaved badly and deserved the abuse become abusive parents more often than children who believe their parents were wrong to abuse them 

  

 Other articles 

   www.nccafv.org/child.htm 

 

www.penpages.psu.edu/penpages_reference/28507/28507709.HTML  

 

  http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0AZV/is_1_40/ai_73232572 

  

http://www.gulf-news.com/Articles/print.asp?ArticleID=53303 

 

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/07/050701062300.htm 

 

This study shows that the intergenerational transmission of abuse is inconclusive 

www.cyc-net.org/Newsdesk/newsdesk-000911-k.html 

 

 

 

 

 
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