Topic : 08/24 The Family Cult

Quote From: drcoosa

It's about what happen years ago. You all keep talking about how great it is now. We are talking about abuses from years ago. Their distance however, does not make them any less valid. You say you believe children are a gift from god... fine. But when we were growing up some Family people including you leader and his childcare workers obviously though children were a gift from god to be enjoyed sexualy. I still have not seen a Family SGA respond to the quotes from Berg excusing sex with children under the age of 10. Are you sure you want to start making comparisons to the Catholic church? To begin with they don't have any doctrines that say the following." ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS!--NO.2 DO 1270 9/82 6. QUESTION: ALSO, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ADULT BRETHREN LUSTING SEXUALLY AFTER CHILDREN UNDER 10 YEARS OLD!--Francis & Summer Sonrise; USA (Note: We have received several letters from concerned parents re: "unapproved" sex with young children--without counsel or knowledge of parents, usually done by single brothers. Any comment? TY! Love, Sara D) ANSWER: I think we've said enough about this in the Letters. But it's sad if the poor single brothers have to resort to this because of obvious sexual deprivation by older sisters! BERG The Catholic Church had and probably still has a problem with pedophilia. The difference between your CULT and the Catholic Church is that they don't have writings advocating adult child sex. The Family does. So one can argue that if you prosecute the rapist and abusers in the clergy and then set up a system of reporting, and pay nearly a billion dollars in reperations to the victims it might help to clean the stain that has indeed come over the church. In the case of your CULT, to date, nothing of any substance has been done. Your CULT is still being run by the same pedophiles that were responsible for our abuse. You are still sending 14% of you income to support a leadership run thru with pedophiles. When we are given access to the Family's files, when the Family helps us to investigate every reported case of abuse no matter how high it reaches, when the Family tells us where the abusers are now residing, when the Family is forced to pay the victims for their suffering, when the Family proves...not just claims, but proves that all children are far from known pedophiles, when we are able to see our rapists and abuser behind bars where they belong, when the Family stops blaming this all on the victims...then...and only then will you be able in any fairness to even hope for legitimization. Until then, you sir, as a young SGA in the Family will unfortunately have to bear the shame, inconvinience, difficulties, "persecution," and disruption to you work resulting from the criminal sexual perversions of the first generation of Family members from 10, 15, and 20 years ago. You wish to be free to do you missionary work. Might I submit that you job as missionaries would be much better acomplished without the large "millstone" of first generation unrepentant pedophiles draging you down. Coosa MD.

Quote From: drcoosa

I think I should thank Dr. Phil. For the first time perhaps ever, I see SGAs in the Family and SGAs outside of the Family having an uncensored back and forth. It's still a bit angry and it still involves a lot of talking over the others but it's a great start. The bottom line is that there are some very real issues that will never to go away without some frank discussion and eventually some action. Hopefully this forum can generate some substantive links between these two camps. As I see it, the SGAs in The Family want to be left alone to do their missionary work and live their lives, while those of us on the outside don't begrudge them that desire. We too wish to be able to live our lives in peace. For many of us that peace and healing will come when we are able to see some justice for the abuse we suffered. Here we are having the chance to dispel some myths that may exsist. Myth 1) That it is our wish to have Family children removed from their parents by the state. I have always advised against it and would fight it were it ever a possibility. Myth 2) That this effort is due to a disagreement with Family SGAs on a religious basis. Wrong, we may not respect what it is you believe, but we do respect you right to believe it. Myth 3) That we are bitter about our unhappy lives and have focused our anger on The Family. Most of those who I know that are active in this effort are living successful and happy lives for the most part. Speaking for myself , when I was poor and uneducated I did not have the time nor the energy to devote to this effort. It is only now that I am quite happy with my life and my career, I have the time, the money, and confidence to pursue this. Myth 4) That nothing The Family can ever do will satisfy us. This is not correct. There is a lot that can be done. We have listed it repeatedly. A start would be for the Family to demonstrate willingness to actually directly comunicate with us in a good faith effort. These are just a few of the many myths that exsist. I hope that this interaction will begin to dispell those myths and bring us to a place were we can focus our energies on those who commited the crimes in the first place and brought us to this unhappy state. I welcome Family SGAs to respond and perhaps add to the list of myths that they may see from our side. Coosa MD.

Quote From: leocon

 

First off I would like to say that I do not deny that there have been instances of abuse in the past history of The Family International! I think everyone is aware that at one point in time some sick’o abused someone!  

  

To you who have been abused: I am sorry and I apologize for the hurt and turmoil you have felt. I say sorry for the people who have hurt you, whether they have said sorry to you or not! They have their sin and they know it. It is a sin that will stick in their conscience till the day they die! Then they will be judged by the one Righteous Judge. 

  

I wish you were able to bring them to justice here on Earth, and some of you have been successful at that, but whether they are found guilty in a human court or in a heavenly one, they will be judged, make no mistake about that! 

  

I ask you to do something that takes more courage and “balls” than it takes to drop an atom bomb on the one who hurt you.  

  

I ask that you search within yourself the ability to FORGIVE!!!! 

  

Who here has THAT level of maturity? 

  

The world is already full of people who hate other people! The world is already full of bitterness and anger! You who are bitter and hateful only end up hurting yourself. (It’s scientifically proven) 

  

I am NOT asking you to forgive and then just act as if nothing ever happened to you though. That is not the aim here.  

  

You see, once you have forgiven someone their misdeed then you right away find peace in your soul! That’s just the way it is! And THEN you can go about finding the “culprit” of your abuse with a level head, and that WILL get you where you want to go. 

  

Believe me, whoever hurt you is right this very moment feeling such sadness and such pain and regret that it’s probably like living hell for them. Imagine you committing abuse on a child and then having to live the rest of your life with the fright of being found out and put in jail. My God, it’s worse than being sent to jail; the fear and torture of the mind that you go through. 

  

So, try to understand that you have been hurt, yes, but there is so much MORE pain and suffering in the world happening every second of every day, and there is SO much YOU could be doing to alleviate that pain and suffering. 

Take a look at YOUR life and ask yourself “Am I doing ALL I can to make this world a better place?” 

  

Now I realize that to some of you the idea of posting hateful material on a forum like this one is in hopes of bringing to justice those who have wronged you. You could also say that you ARE working at making this world a safer place by trying to make sure that this someone who wronged you will not do what he/she did to you to another person.  

  

But let me explain to you what you are ACTUALLY doing. (And PLEASE just listen for a second) 

  

You got hurt by someone who was in The Family International at one time or another. Maybe they are still in The Family.  

So you have one person to blame. 

  

That’s not enough though.  

  

Then you start to wonder “Why did so and so abuse me? What gave so and so the idea?” 

  

Ok well, first of all there are people who have never heard about The Family and have never read the literature produced within The Family. However those same people go and commit abuse/crime like the one you experienced and probably worse. 

  

Also regarding where you want to place the blame of why so and so abused you is another thing to bear in mind. It’s something we all have: The Majesty of Free Choice! 

  

You have it, as do I, and so did the person who abused you! They CHOSE to do what they did. They could have picked up a porn magazine somewhere and got some f**ked up idea as in like, “Hmmm, I wonder how it would feel to do this and that to so and so”. 

  

They might have gone on the web and got interested in those abusive perversions there. They may have just been around too many “younger” girls as opposed to how many mature women were around. 

  

And yes there is also the possibility that they thought something they read in The Family’s literature said that it was alright to do what they did.  

  

These are ALL possibilities!  

  

But should we prohibit any construction company from building buildings that are over 1 story high because HUNDREDS of people are jumping to their death everyday in China alone?  

  

Now mind you that I am fully aware that there have been some things in Family literature that could have been said in a completely different way, a nicer way and a more “politically correct” way.  

  

But at the end of the day just because you READ it does not mean you have to ACCEPT or ENACT it.  

  

It’s like saying that Arnold S. (now governor of California) should be arrested and “brought to justice” because some idiot watched the “Terminator” series and decided that he too would like to be invincible. So he went out one night and shot him some humans. He got arrested and went to some “insane-ville”. But should Arnold get the flack for acting out “Terminator”? 

  

The point I am trying to make is that there is a constant flow of information entering our brains. What we do with that information is, and will always be, up to YOU! 

Can we agree on that point on its lonesome? 

I think we can.  

  

  

On the other hand some of the “abused” say that the “Leadership” of The Family must pay for what THEY have done. 

  

Ok, well here again, if you are going to try getting Zerby and Peter in trouble for something they WROTE then I’ll save you the trouble by telling you here that no judge/lawyer/jury will ever take you seriously. You won’t even make it to court with a storyline like that. 

  

Again what about the novel Author who writes a story, and in this novel there is a part with a victim being sexually abused, and some person reads that part of the book and gets all turned-on by it and ends up committing an act of sexual assault that very night? 

Will the Author be blamed for what he wrote? No way! 

  

So since you can’t make a case, due to mankind’s majesty of Free Choice, you decide that the only way to get at the leadership is to accuse them personally of abuse. 

  

How you go about that is anyone guess. What I mean is that the stories vary from one person to the next regarding the same person.  

  

If a detective were to be facing you right now and ask you: “What PHISICAL evidence do you have that present leaders of The Family are committing sexual abuse, or abuse of any other kind”, what would you give them? 

  

You would start telling them “things”! And they would say: “Yes well that’s nice and all, but that’s not going to stand in a court of law. What we need is hard a$$ evidence, physical stuff.”  

  

You might then start pointing them to various websites mastered by other ex-members of The Family. Here again, most of the stuff on those sites could never substantiate your accusations in a court of law. It is stuff they SAID/WROTE. It is pictures of two children affectionately lying on top of one another (as in like a hug perhaps?! You know I could probably catch your kids doing the same thing.). 

  

And the stuff on the web that possibly could be used to build a case against leaders of The Family would end up going into a little folder with “The Family International” written on it and put into a large drawer in the office for later investigation. 

  

Then (if they open a case of investigation) they would contact a spokesperson of The Family International and ask that they, with their lawyer/s, present themselves at such and such a time and place. Or they might come and visit one of The Family homes where the spokesperson would be residing.  

  

They would go over the various materials that are in question and the spokesperson would explain everything in gross detail.  

  

Oh wait…….that’s all been done already. 

  

People wake up and smell the coffee, The Family International has been brought to court and all the materials in question (and I mean EVERYTHING from “FF’ing” to “child sex”) has been brought to the attention of the entire world! And it did not happen just once, not just twice, but it happened again and again in various corners of the globe.  

  

All the outcomes were identical: NOT GUILTY 

  

There WERE things that had to be apologized for and those things were made public. If you did not see the apologies then you were most likely not LOOKING for them. 

  

The FACT is that the judges made sure that there were safeguards in place in The Family’s Charter of Rights and Responsibilities to ensure that all members know beyond a shadow of a doubt that child abuse of any kind, shape or form is ABSOLUTLY NOT PERMITTED! 

  

The Family’s leadership and literature have all already been brought before courts and high courts. It’s already been done, and judgments have already been given. There is no more “gold” there.   

  

Those who were guilty were prosecuted as such. I am not saying that ALL have been prosecuted. There are most likely some still aging away with the fear and torment of past wrong-doings. But like I said before, they are living their own hell. Why trouble yourself with “justice”? God brings true justice to all, all the time and every second of every day!!! 

  

Now what about that certain someone who abused you? Why not get on to them?  

  

Ok, you then say that you cannot get to them because of The Family casting a “shadow” over them. Come on, do you think the governments and police would have any trouble finding and arresting someone who they KNEW was hiding from justice? No Sir! 

  

So it all comes down to this: When you have proof enough to convince a lawyer or police officer that so and so really did molest you or abuse you in some way, then take it to the authorities of whichever country you are a citizen of and place charges on them.  

  

When we talk about proof in the case of you having been abused in whatever way, we are really looking for some of the following: 

  

1)      Photo’s picturing the “abuse” 

2)      Video showing the “abuse” 

3)      Audio playing sounds of the “abuse” 

4)      Literature/E-mail having to do with the “abuse” (a) As in a document written by the accused to someone else, telling of the “abusive” act. (b) Or a diary written by the accused stating the act of “abuse”   

5)      Witnesses who physically witnessed the “abuse” 

6)      Physical marks on victim showing “abuse” and proof that the marks are indeed directly connected with the “abusive” behavior 

  

These are things that stand up in court 

  

After this it will be the authorities’ job to hunt down the accused and bring him/her to justice! 

  

THAT is how it works. 

  

Again I am sorry for the pain and hurt you may feel. I wish there was more I could do. But really, I know that if you find it within yourself to forgive those who have wronged you that you will find you have a wonderful life and so much to be happy about. 

  

I really do not have much more to say. 

I think I have been very rational, realistic and “down-to-earth”!  

  

I got to go now and put my 2 month old baby girl to sleep. Her name is Leona, by the way, and I would not EVER permit ANYONE to abuse her.  

  

Peace go with you! 

  

-e- 

  

  

  

  

Quote From: raindancer

Dear China,    I had a hard time believing it was you when I heard the accusations made against us on the Dr. Phil show last Monday by members of your husband and his family. I didn't know them as well, but I know you. I grew up with you and I am still in the Family International. The reason I am still here is because I never saw any case of abuse in the Family except once, a man in our school had accosted you and the news shocked everyone. This man was immediately excommunicated and we felt stunned. This was and still is the only case that I in my 26 years in the Family have ever been close to.    We were friends, we had fun. We had over 40 students in our class, you were always popular in the 'singing group' which meant you were talented and got to perform at Christmas and other special occasions. You and I were in a children's television series which many other kids wished they could experience. I looked up to you and you taught me to harmonize which I still credit you for now that I sing professionally at hotels and functions.    You choreographed for dance groups with all the other 'cool' kids and when you became a teenager had a boyfriend before any of us. A great guy but then again you had many great guys after you and you finally picked one to marry. I was so happy for you when I heard. I hoped he would take care of you. I didn't think he and his family would be there with you saying those things and backing you when you said you were incompetent in society due to your upbringing! Girl, I don't know what you are trying to do in society but you knew at the very least how to cook, sing, dance and teach. Opening a bank account and writing a check was so easy I can't even remember the first time I had to do it.      I don't want to boast especially not to you who I've always looked up to and admire but I just can't understand what you're thinking and why you would forget friends like me and do and say things like this.     For the past five years, I have been Public Relations Manager for our Family missionary center in Africa, I've been teaching my 5 year old daughter Kaycee's class which happens to be 3rd grade as home schooling always developes advanced children due to her reading since the age of 2. I have participated in teaching several seminars for teachers and parents here on our methods of Early Learning with great success. I also host a weekly radio show for children and a counseling show for parents and teachers. I co-ordinate donations to homes for mentally and physically disabled children, orphanages in Uganda and Congo with children who have faced horrible atrocities, too gruesome to mention, if you want to feel better about your lot in life come to Africa and see for yourself what abuse, neglect, mistreatment and defilement mean.     We help reach near-forgotten tribes who constantly face starvation and civil war with medicine and Bible stories in their own language which we had to put on tape and distribute with hand crank tape-recorders because their written language is so newly developed they don't know it yet. I design and layout our project updates, newsletters, brochures and send out an inspirational, "Thought for the Day" e-mail to over 400 business friends and associates. I choreograph and dance for benefit concerts and national functions including Miss Uganda and AIDS or IDP charities. As a hobby, I have joined the local amateur dramatics society and have performed at the National Theatre, holding lead roles in several musicals.     We don't just cope in society, we make a difference.     Don't throw away your talents and opportunities with excuses of your past. You chose another lifestyle and I admired you for it. It always takes guts to follow your dreams whatever they are. Many, many of my friends have done so with great success. You know because you hang out with them I saw a lot of them last year. You all are having a ball and I was very happy for you! You certainly did not need to escape The Family it's the opposite. It's not easy to join and it's even tougher to stay. It's the hard life of a missionary where you live to help others. Your parents are wonderful people, I can't imagine what pain they must be feeling with what you are saying to them. I miss the China of years ago. The one who held me up when I was down who didn't complain except maybe when too many guys were in love with her at once and she didn't know how to be nice to them all and let them down gently. You were crazy and fun I just can't relate my memories to yours, they've changed so much.         Tina