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Topic : 10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

Number of Replies: 188
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Created on : Friday, September 30, 2005, 03:36:12 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1

Moms do everything from kissing scraped knees, to being taxi drivers to coaching soccer — all at the same time! Ginger says she is overwhelmed by all the cooking, cleaning, driving and disciplining she has to do for her five children. She says her husband doesn't pitch in because he thinks it's a woman's job. Next, Amy says that with three kids under the age of 6, her house is in utter chaos. Her husband, Jeremie, doesn't know how to help, so Dr. Phil sends in "The Mom Squad" to help Amy get her household in order. And, Lexi says the way her mom dresses embarrasses her, and she pleads with Dr. Phil to help. Learn how to organize your life and even enjoy some "Mom Time." Are you a stressed out mom? Tell us!

 

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October 10, 2005, 5:40 am CDT

time management

Quote From: sknight362

I am a 42 year old stay-at-home Mom, with an 11 year old and a baby on the way, and I seem to have plenty of time!  In fact, I have more time on my hands than I care to have.  My home is not a mess, I get everything done and I am not going crazy running around.  I also DONT have my husband home all the time!  He is on the road as a truck driver for a few weeks at a time so I am able to run the house in my own way.  I definately notice the difference in the home when he DOES come home.  Sure, we miss each other like crazy while he's gone, but we talk several times a day so it always seems as though he is not far.  But, on the other hand, the house is always peaceful and quiet and there's plenty of time to get things done, and I am under no "time frames" to have things done.  They get done when I get them done!  It's wonderful! 
One of things not pointed out on the show is how Mom's today have their kids in everything.    This is NOT helping your children and is taking up your time to spend with them.  This mother is probably more like me in that respect and why her day goes more smoothly.  Children should not be kept busy 24/7.  In fact if 1/4 of their waking day is not spent in comtemplative time....time by themselves reading, homeowork, etc.......you are sentencing your child to the save rat race you live.  Is that what you want to pass on to your child????  We set a limit of one activity per term and summer structured activites...ie baseball....can't take up more then one month total.
 
October 10, 2005, 5:52 am CDT

Glad to see Mom Empowerment on TV

It is great to see shows that highlight Mom Empowerment on TV.  Heather and Mary are great and I hope to see more of them.  As the founder of an organization that aids Single Moms, out of poverty and into financial stability, I feel there cannot be enough resources showing Moms how to get the most out of life and family put in the public limelight.    Dr. Phil is on the cutting edge and I hope you continue.  Please bring Heather and Mary back to the show.  We need to hear more of what they can teach.....especially in regard to building a business at home while still making memorable moments for our kids.   Thanks again Dr. Phil,   Norma Owen    
 
October 10, 2005, 9:14 pm CDT

Working is like vacation for me

Quote From: mrsmedic

I don't need an excuse to whine.  I'm 38 and nobody needs to give me permission.  <g> 

  

stay at home moms DO work hard, why is that so hard to hear?  I have worked full time, parented, yada yada.  Oh the adult conversation of those days!!!!!!!!!!!!  the 12 hr shifts of no kids. Ahhhh....  Hubbie was home with them when I was gone, it was the perfect set up.  Unfortunately it ended.  That life was much much easier than this one. 

  

  

  

  

  

  

   I agree with you.  I stay at home during the week with a 5, 3, and 1 year old.  I work weekends.  My husband works all week.  Then I get my break to go to work on the weekends.  I get 12 hour shifts with no kids fighting, no cleaning up puke, and fighting to get them to take medicine.  It is my relaxation.  Staying home with my children during the week is the hardest job I've ever had.  I do love each of them dearly and it is very rewarding, but without work I'd go crazy.  i have a hard time sympathizing with the moms that work fulltime (unless it's daycare)or my husband.  Although i would miss my children dearly having to be away from them to work full time.  Overall everyone has something to whine about.  The argument of who's life is harder never has a clear winner.  If people are so busy going to school and working and it's that terrible... find another way.  Nobody gets a prize in the end for being the busiest, having the most money, the cleanest house, or the most well behaved children. 

 
October 11, 2005, 4:36 am CDT

Quick Cooking

In the midst of my cooking dilemma's I FOUND THIS GREAT MAGAZINE:  QUICK COOKING.  Have any of  ya all ever heard of it?  It comes out every other month.  It is filled with pictures and recipes from ladies all over the US.  And it is a contest where if your recipe wins, you win prizes.  And they have tons of kid meals pictures.  I've gotten it in the mail for about 5 years now.  I especially like the holiday ideas and also decorative ideas.  Check it out.  It is a fun ladies thing.
 
October 11, 2005, 7:49 am CDT

Ramblings :)

 I have always been fortunate to have a husband who helps with the kids.  Mine are now 13, 10 & 7 but when they were babies either hubby and I were in college together and both working part time or after #2 was born ( 5 days after my final internship!)  I went to work full time while hubby finished up his masters degree and taught  part time at the University.  It was quite a juggling act to get everything done and I don't know how I would have done it without him- and his plate was just as full as mine. 

2 years ago I was offered a job at a company I was consulting for to work full time for them from home.  I gladly accepted it, so I'm here for my kids pretty much all the time.  I really enjoy that but I SO miss the adult interaction that I had when my jobs were located out of the house.  My husband is now a cop who is gone from 6pm-7am and sleeps during the day (even on his days off because its too hard to switch back and forth).  I really feel the isolation that SAHM's feel- I REALLY respect those with toddlers and babies- at least mine can do for themselves at this point in time!  I get so little time with my husband because of his schedule, that anymore I feel VERY alone.

I dont know where I fit in in the scheme of SAHM or working mom or whatever.  I am employed full time its just my office is a desk in my bedroom :).  My house always seems to be messed up except for the 10 minutes after we spend cleaning it LOL.  I'm busy with running kids to dance classes and Girl/Boy scouts and playing taxi mom on the weekend with my oldest and her friends.  I am thankful that I can both be here all the time and keep my job but some days, I really do feel overhwhelmed.  Hubby still does help when he can but  with us being awake on opposite shifts the kid stuff falls on me- getting them all up for school, doing homeworking, dinner/bed/bath while still trying to get my work done and keeping the house in order AND all the doctors appointments, grocery shopping, blah blah blah. 

Well I evaluated last week what all I was doing and cut some nonsense out.  This has freed up some time but I really need to get on a schedule as far as housework.  Don't get me wrong, its not  nearly as bad as some of the houses they showed last week but I definitely need to cut the clutter!  How moms of little ones who are home all day can even keep a house almost clean is beyond me :).  I'm lucky mine DO help.  I may not like how good they do it but I don't nag or complain- I offfer tips to do it better in the future to make it faster or cleaner, but I think its really important that the kids do their share of household chores. 

I've seen some of the nasty comments on here directed towards SAHM's.  While in my kids early years that wasn't the path I chose to take (and really didn't have a choice to sah), I applaud those who do.  I also fully respect moms who work outside the home.  We all have to do what we feel is best for us and our families.  My kids are honor students in gifted classes, respectful kids (of course who bicker with each other constantly but around others they are well mannered- whew!).  They haven't suffered any damage from being in daycare in their early years- and no I don' t consider that as someone else having raised them.  I thorougly checked out and found quality places where my kids were safe and loved during the hours I needed to work. 

We each have a righ to CHOOSE, and regardless of which way we go, everyone deserves to be respected for what decision they make.  Working moms do still keep the house clean and take care of their families.  I have worked full time while still going to school and had 3 little ones at home.  What I missed out on was time for ME.   I don't think SAHM's love their children anymore than moms who work outside the home.  Moms who have paid jobs outside the house do get out and about  and have interactions with other adults which is so vital to keeping your sanity!   For those who feel SAHM's don't have it rough, well I'm sorry but dealing with little kiddos to me while trying to keep everything together, clean and all that is to me just REALLY tough- especially for those who have spouses who walk in the door and their workday is over with but the moms just keeps on continuing!

I just hope we can find a balance where we all can respect other women for doing what they feel is best for their families.  I don't see a need to be so negative and nasty when we all have a common goal- to have happy, healthy kids who grow up feeling loved. 

Shannon B



 
October 11, 2005, 7:46 pm CDT

chaos of ckids with PDD

  My husband's son is 7 and has PDD.Recently his neurologist says he also has ADHD.We have problems taking him places,because of his social skills.His behavior can sometimes be a problem.Friends say oh,just bring him with you.The problem is then we have to listen to complaints about why we aren't controlling him.That is from people who know that he has a disorder.We have worse problems when we go somewhere and he has an episode where he can't be controlled.Remarks get rather annoying.I understand that it disrupts people,but we can't isolate him for the rest of his life,because he has an unfortunate disorder.We are trying to get him as normal life as possible.It is not easy.I would love some advice on how to teach him,and control him better.Dr.Phil really should touch on this subject.Any advice would be greatly appreciated.Lisa
 
October 12, 2005, 11:29 am CDT

talk about chos

I am a single mother of 11 children  10 girls and 1 boy. Most of the kids remaining in the house are teenagers.  You talk about chaos, well you can say it is chaos. I hear how these ladies have a hard time with their children on a daily basis. Try handling 11 children. When they were young I had them well under control. Why mothers these days can not handle their children is beyond me. I was a stay home mother and I still managed to take care of the daily housework and take care of my children. Why mothers these days are having a hard time really bothers me. People reading this might think that I must be old, let me tell you something I'm not. I went to college when I had 9  children, and had my 10th child the year I graduated. I would compete with my children to see who had the better grades in school.  When I hear all these ladies complain, I talk to the tv and blame the parents for the childrens actions.
 
October 12, 2005, 11:41 am CDT

10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos

Quote From: kidseleven

I am a single mother of 11 children  10 girls and 1 boy. Most of the kids remaining in the house are teenagers.  You talk about chaos, well you can say it is chaos. I hear how these ladies have a hard time with their children on a daily basis. Try handling 11 children. When they were young I had them well under control. Why mothers these days can not handle their children is beyond me. I was a stay home mother and I still managed to take care of the daily housework and take care of my children. Why mothers these days are having a hard time really bothers me. People reading this might think that I must be old, let me tell you something I'm not. I went to college when I had 9  children, and had my 10th child the year I graduated. I would compete with my children to see who had the better grades in school.  When I hear all these ladies complain, I talk to the tv and blame the parents for the childrens actions.
I don't think people are complaining, but telling the truth of how it is so they can get ideas to help organize and solve their own problems with someone elses good tips.  With 11 kids you must have alot of good organization tips.
 
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