Quote From: mrsmedic
It's one thing to discuss how things will work after marriage, and another to see how it pans out in reality. We never expected to have a disabled child. We never expected me to have MS, we never expected him to have to work 80+ hrs a week. We didn't know to plan for those things. I'm chronically tired, so is he. Mine is from health, his from so many hours working. He must be rested to do his job properly, and as a paramedic that is vitally important.
Our kids kick in and we're getting by, but my point is that all the planning in the world doesn't always prepare you for reality. I used to jokingly ask if he'd take care of me if I was one day in a wheelchair, but we certainly never discussed it as a real possibility. So many things happen that change how familys function. One would never cover them all until they happen.
Yes, it's good to discuss. But to say that our struggles are our fault because we made these choices? I didn't choose for my daughter to be disabled, or for me to have MS, or for our house to need to many repairs all of a sudden. S**t happened and we're left to deal with it.
I'm sorry to hear about your MS. And I'm in no way saying your wrong. I completely understand about things not going as planned. Like I didn't expect to have my father leave me with my 9 year old half brother and have me raise him when I was 20. I paid for him to go to private school, I shuttled back and forth to extra-curriculars, went to school full time, worked full time, tutored neighborhood kids, paid down student loans, took care of my household, had my grandfather die, had a cancer scare in the family, had a miscarriage, took care of my mother after she had surgery, taught tap dance after my own back surgery, ran a business with my fiance, got my real estate license, got my insurance licences, got a mortgage brokers license, AND dealt with depression and chronic fatigue--ALL starting just one month after having a bone chip removed from my hip and having six hooks, a rod, and a cage put in my spine. So believe me, I know that planning doesn't always work. However, since my brother is no longer living with us, my fiance have planned as best we can for children, managing debt, dealing with the death/disability of one of us, house fire, job loss, paying for school, managing houehold with one person or both working, who will take care of our children when one or both of us die, what we will do with posessions in event of divorce, how we will care for our parents in old age or in the event of serious illness, to whom we will bequeath our business, and what we will do if our small business folds. Our plan may go off track, but at least we have some idea of what we may deal with. We're only 23 and 27 now, but we are doing our best to get our lives in order before we get married and have kids. I've been on both ends of raising kids now, so we are lucky in that sense.
But, my initial point was for moms to TRY to do something for themselves not family related just to feel more connected to herself. S**t happens to all of us, so I know what it means to need support. I'm sorry about your illness and I'm sorry about your duaghter's disability--but God is on your side, and I know you'll be just fine in the end. You're in my prayers.
Now to the woman who said no moms of color were on the show--why make this racial? If you must know, I'm an African-American too, but was not offended by lack of brown faces on the show. I was just happy to see women giving voice to their frustrations. Don't forget, you may be black, but you are also a WOMAN, and this show was about WOMEN. Don't let race become your motivation for everything. I'm a WOMAN before I'm anything else--be it student, mother, sister, race, etc.
Moms do everything from kissing scraped knees, to being taxi drivers to coaching soccer — all at the same time! Ginger says she is overwhelmed by all the cooking, cleaning, driving and disciplining she has to do for her five children. She says her husband doesn't pitch in because he thinks it's a woman's job. Next, Amy says that with three kids under the age of 6, her house is in utter chaos. Her husband, Jeremie, doesn't know how to help, so Dr. Phil sends in "The Mom Squad" to help Amy get her household in order. And, Lexi says the way her mom dresses embarrasses her, and she pleads with Dr. Phil to help. Learn how to organize your life and even enjoy some "Mom Time." Are you a stressed out mom? Tell us!
