Topic : 10/06 "Stand Up for Yourself!"

I've been down that road myself, and I know it's so hard to leave. I got in a relationship with a much older guy when I was in my mid-teens (I was really looking for a father figure). He beat the taste out of my mouth on several occasions. I would explain the bruises and bumps away--telling my mom and school friends/teachers that I got hurt during volleyball practice. I really thought he loved me because he would always apologize afterward. I really fooled myself into thinking that was a healthy relationship. My last straw came a month before my sixteenth birthday. My boyfriend thought I was cheating on him, and hit me so hard that my jaw was broken. I had to have my jaw wired shut. I finally told everyone close to me, and they rallied around and supported me while I pressed charges. He's still serving his 10-year sentence--for statutory rape and assault. It's been a long road recovering my self-worth and self-esteem, but it is possible. 

I hope with all of my heart that these women can use their experience on Dr. Phil to find the courage to break the cycle. Ladies, my heart is with you. 

Yes, I too found the courage a little over 2 years ago to leave my controlling, abusive husband.   At the time, it felt like the hardest thing I'd ever done.  In hindsight, because I did not deal with what was happening to us then, I see now that the healing process is even more challenging than getting the courage to leave.  So on my worst days, I try to look back at where I was and how far I've come.   

I am 47 and very much understand how hard it is to start your life over again.  You are right, we did give our love and lives over to men who did not care or even remotely love us BUT somehow we overcame that and escaped, didn't we!  Since I've read and heard so many stories of women who are still living with their abusers, this makes me realize I am much stronger than I give myself credit for.   

I am very proud of you, myself and all the others who are in the process of starting over, healing and learning to love ourselves again. 

Oh my goodness. I sat watching today's show, especially the woman whose husband didn't allow her to shower, and completely identified with her. If anyone out there thinks she was going overboard with her story, I can tell you SHE WAS NOT. I was in such a marriage for 19 years. I was revisited with the darkest, blackest, horrible feelings while I listened to her. In my case, my husband told me that I was bound to cheat because I was pretty and smart. Evidently too pretty and too smart to be with him. He was abusive in every way possible but he didn't see anything wrong with that. Having heart-to-heart talks with a man like that goes nowhere! Long story short, I got out. And that was the most difficult and frightening thing I've ever done. I think that when a wife is in that position, she just gets emotionally defeated and cannot even begin to think of a way to get out. You just can't see the forest for the trees. I would love to help other women or support them but I don't know how. I think that most women who are in such terrible marriages probably had  controlling and abusive parents. I know this was the case with me. I jumped from the frying pan right into the fire. If it were left to me, I would probably never have left. My sister literally scooped me up in her arms and took me away to her home. I will be grateful to her forever.  

I know how you feel I have been in a unhappy, controling, verbal abusive marriage for forty yrs, have tried and tried to get out . I always seem to come back , cause I have no family or formal training to make it on my own and feel according to him no one would want a dummy un skilled person like myself. I am  a emotional wreck. We have three kids and they are grown and all have problems now after being in this dysfunctional situation because I was so weak and couldnot get them out ..  

I am so proud I watched this show and logged onto Dr. PHil , what I have read has helped me in so many ways. 

I know I have a long road but I am going to take control of my life. 

thanks for listening and reading my post today/ 

Brooke